“I brought her back into his life, Devlin,” she said. “I pushed it, because I wanted so much to see him happy again.”
Devlin shook his head. “Baby girl, you didn’t do this. Allexxiss did this and we don’t even know why. But you can’t blame yourself on this one.”
“I can’t, huh?” she asked cynically.
“I won’t allow it,” he said, his tone matter of fact.
“Oh no?” she asked, starting to grin.
“Nope,” he replied, shaking his head, his blue eyes twinkling.
She sighed, shaking her head. “What do we do, Dev?” she asked, her tone worried.
“We watch out for him, Tabbie,” he said, touching her under the chin. “Just like we’ve always done.”
“But if he’s tired now …” she said, her voice trailing off as she shook her head.
“I know, we’ll just have to keep after him about sleeping,” he said. Then he shrugged. “Hell, you know Beege is the only human I know who can sleep on these damned buses. He’ll be fine,” he assured her.
“I hope you’re right,” she said, sounding unsure.
“I’m always right,” he told her with a grin.
“No, I’m always right, you’re just lucky,” she said.
“Ah, yeah, that’s it,” he said, grinning wider.
“And what’s going on back here?” Jordan asked from behind Tabitha.
Tabitha glanced behind her. “Hey Jordie,” she said, smiling.
“Everything okay?” Jordan asked, glancing between Tabitha and Devlin.
They both nodded, but neither of them looked convincing. Jordan grimaced, betting that it had everything to do with the way BJ looked when she’d gotten on the bus. She knew when her best friend was overdoing it.
****
Allexxiss arrived back in the States a week after Brenden went on tour. She’d read enough while in Jamaica to know he was gone. Flying back into Los Angeles weighed on her heart a great deal, knowing that she’d still be in the same town with him, but having to stay away from him and Tabitha. Steeling herself against the sadness that threatened to overwhelm her again, she set to work getting meetings together for the beginning production of The Living Edge. The movie became her life, she ate, drank, slept, and lived it. It was the only way she could think of to block out the misery of what her life had become.
Max had informed her on her return that Brenden’s attorney had rejected any option of shares in the movie, and for that matter any reimbursement for the money Brenden himself had put out. Allexxiss made a point of calling Brenden’s attorney herself to verify what Max had told him. It was true.
“My client has no further interest in the project, nor will he seek financial compensation for his share,” was the attorney’s statement to her.
The words “no further interest” rang in Allexxiss head for months afterwards. He has no further interest. Brenden had no further interest, in her.
She hadn’t seen anything printed about him and any other women. Nothing social at all, just reports that he was working on his upcoming tour. Allexxiss was smart enough to know that it didn’t mean he wasn’t seeing women, it just meant he wasn’t being flashy about it.
****
The tour got under way, but was quickly punctuated with issues. There were problems with venues and with hotels that they were set to stay in between longer pauses in the tour. Unfortunately, Tabitha’s inexperience with tour arrangements began to show and it took all of Brenden’s patience to hold his temper. After the fourth venue that hadn’t been properly scheduled, Brenden’s patience frayed and he screamed at Tabitha. Devlin promptly stepped in, as he always did when Brenden lost his temper with his daughter.
“Seriously, Tabitha? What did you fucking think we were going to do with one dressing room!” BJ screamed, pacing angrily and throwing angry glances at the unfortunate soul who’d come to tell them about the dressing room problem.
“Easy, Beege …” Devlin cautioned, as he saw Tabitha blanch at her father’s anger.
“Stay the fuck outta this, Dev …” BJ growled.
“You knew she was new to this when you let her make the arrangements, BJ,” Devlin told him. “So don’t get all pissed off if some of it got a little screwed up.”
BJ stopped pacing and stared at Devlin. It was obvious he hadn’t really thought about that before he’d started yelling. By the same token, Devlin could see that BJ wasn’t willing to let things go that easily. He looked at Tabitha.
“I want you to go to the hotel and call the office,” he said evenly, trying to remain professional. “I want you to verify and confirm every venue and hotel for the rest of the tour, you got that?”
Tabitha nodded, her eyes as wide as saucers.
BJ looked at the young woman who represented the venue. “I need to talk to your boss about the dressing room issue, right now.”
The girl nodded and gestured for him to follow her.
Tabitha, Devlin, Jordan, and the rest of the bands watched the two depart.
“Tab, go over to the hotel and do what your dad asked,” Jordan said, looking to Devlin for agreement. Devlin nodded. “The rest of us, let’s go get ready for sound check. The last thing we need is for BJ to get pissed at us too.” With that she patted Tabitha on the shoulder. “It’ll be okay, hon, you know he’s stressed right now.”
“I know,” Tabitha said, looking sad, “but I screwed up and I need to fix it.”
“I’ll be at the hotel in an hour,” Devlin told Tabitha. “I’ll come check with you to see if you need any help, okay?”
“Okay, thanks Dev,” Tabitha said, turning and heading for the front of the venue to catch a cab.
The sound check went well, as did the show that night, but things remained tense, and it was obvious Brenden was heading for a serious down again.
****
Max Putnam stared at the paperwork in his hand for a long time, enjoying the feel of total power. BJ Sparks wasn’t worth shit. He had a half partnership in Badlands Records, that was it. Max was working on buying part of the company, and when he had controlling interest, he’d see that BJ Sparks went elsewhere. He was also working on a scandal that would make BJ Sparks’s name mud in the papers. No one fucked with Maxwell Putnam and got away with it. BJ Sparks fucked with a possession and that was not acceptable, so Mr. Sparks was about to be taught a lesson.
Allexxiss was growing more and more distant. She never wanted sex anymore, always telling him that she wasn’t in the mood. Many nights she’d work late in the study on scripting issues, staffing issues, or whatever, for the movie. It was all for nothing anyway, Max reasoned, since he was going to make sure the movie never opened. Artisan Pictures had enough influence in Hollywood to kill any project, but for now, it behooved Max to allow Allex to think she was accomplishing something.
Allexxiss read the papers constantly, reading anything she could on Tabitha or Brenden. Her heart ached all the time, sometimes it was a dull ache, like the feeling that she’d lost something valuable. Other times it was a sharp stabbing pain that caused her to feel like she couldn’t breathe. It was times like those that she locked herself in her trailer and just cried. She knew she needed to get over Brenden, but she had no idea how. It hurt so much she was sure that it was eating her up inside.
On one particular day, she’d seen the story about Brenden having had sex with a maid at the hotel in Little Rock. The woman “Marie” had run straight to the papers to tell her story. She said that “Mr. Sparks” was the “best sex” she’d ever had. That he could accost her anytime. Which of course had led to a story from her boyfriend claiming that BJ Sparks had actually raped his girlfriend when she’d gone to clean BJ’s room. As usual, BJ’s camp had nothing to say. Brenden never commented on sensationalism unless he felt it was detrimental. As far as he was concerned, if he had sex with a maid in a hotel, and she liked it, what was the problem?
Allex read it and felt so hurt. She knew Brenden had moved on with his life, but
she hated to see it in print. She walked inside her trailer, tears already blurring her vision. She sat down on the couch and just cried, balling up the paper and throwing it across the room. That was when the door opened. Allex had forgotten to lock it this time. Angelica Benita, another much younger actress in the movie stuck her head in, wanting to ask Allex what the schedule was for the rest of the day. She saw Allexxiss crying and walked in looking concerned.
“Allexxiss? Are you okay?” Angelica asked, moving to Allex’s side.
Allexxiss nodded, wiping at her tears and did her best to stop crying. Angelica’s eyes fell on the newspaper that was balled up on the floor. She picked it up and opened it back up. Brenden’s picture was on the front, as was the maid’s picture from the hotel. Angelica had read the story earlier that morning.
“Why is it people in this country have sex every day, and no one cares? But BJ Sparks has sex, and it’s world news? Don’t you people have anything better to do with your time?”
Angelica sat back down next to Allex, putting her arms around the older woman. Of course she knew. Like everyone in Hollywood, she had heard about Allex’s connection with BJ Sparks and she also had seen the apparent change in their relationship status when Allex left him to go to Jamaica with her husband.
“You’re still really hurting over the breakup with BJ aren’t you?” Angelica said gently.
Allex shook her head, trying to deny the obvious.
Angelica knew that Allex was lying, maybe even to herself. She was silent for a moment, wanting to ask Allex something, but not sure if she should. She’d come to find that she was really fond of her co-star and seeing how sad she was on a regular basis, she really wanted to help. Finally, she took a deep breath and went for it.
“Why did you two break up?” she asked softly.
Allexxiss looked at her, surprise evident on her face. “I broke up with him.”
“Why?”
Allexxiss took a deep breath, then sighed, shaking her head. “It wasn’t going to work. I was going to ruin him if we stayed together.”
“How would you have ruined him?” Angelica asked, mystified.
“Max would have,” Allexxiss said, suddenly not willing to cloak her husband’s sins anymore. “He told me if I left him for Bren, he’d ruin Brenden and me.”
“Could he really do that?”
“I think he could,” Allexxiss said. “In fact I’m fairly sure he could. Brenden only has his contract with Badlands. I don’t know what else he has, but I’m sure Max has more power. Either way, I can’t chance it, I love Brenden too much to take a chance that my husband will hurt him or Tabitha’s life. Brenden gave up far too much for Tabitha, to give her everything. I can’t take that away.”
Her voice was so desperate, Angelica nodded, not wanting to upset her more. The conversation lingered in her head for days. She believed in love conquering everything, and she just couldn’t believe that love couldn’t conquer Maxwell the creep Putnam.
****
Across the country, Brenden lay in his bed in a hotel room. The tour was in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. While the rest of the group was off seeing the sites, Brenden hid out in the hotel. Things were starting to wear on him. He was so tired, he wasn’t sure how he was continuing on. No matter how he tried, he couldn’t sleep half the time. He picked up the bottle he’d been drinking from to find it was empty. He got off the bed and opened the bar.
“Shit,” he muttered to himself.
There was no more tequila. He looked at what there was and picked up a bottle of Jack Daniel’s. He was heading back to the bed when there was a knock at the door. He walked over and opened it to find Jordan stood there.
“Hiya,” she said, her tone way too bright for his mood.
She walked inside and as she brushed past him, she took the bottle out of his hand. She put the bottle back in the bar and turned to look at him. She grinned when she saw that he was still standing holding the door open, looking at her, his mouth open in shock.
“Give me that,” he said, letting the door close.
“No,” Jordan said. “You’re not going to lay here and drink the day away, Beege. I won’t let you.”
“Like hell you won’t,” he said, walking over to the bar and grabbing at the bottle.
Jordan was faster and grabbed it off the bar before he did.
“BJ! No!” she said, giving him a stern look. “You’ve been doing this since Milwaukee, what’s wrong with you?”
Brenden looked at her, then shook his head. He walked over to the bed and dropped down on it, turning over to lay on his stomach with his face pressed into a pillow.
Jordan walked over to the bed and sat down next to him. She put her hand on his shoulder, then slid it through his hair.
“What’s up, babe?” she asked, “Talk to me.”
He shook his head. Jordan moved to lie down next to him, turning on her side to watch. Reaching out she stroked his hair.
“Brenden, please talk to me,” she said softly, not liking the way he was acting.
Brenden turned over on his side, looking at her. His light blue-green eyes were so forlorn, Jordan felt it physically.
“Oh, babe …” she said, tears in her voice.
“I just don’t want to be here, Jord,” he said softly.
“Here?” Jordan asked, alarmed.
“Anywhere,” Brenden said.
Jordan stared at him, her eyes searching his. She could see the sadness etched into his eyes. It was starting to show on him.
“Tell me what I can do, Brenden,” she said. “I’ll do anything.”
“There’s nothing you can do, Jordan,” he told her simply.
“There has to be something!” she exclaimed, not liking his tone of voice or his manner.
She could tell he was deep in a depression, but this time was different, because he had been faking it for everyone. He’d been doing the shows, pretending for everyone. His own emotional lie was becoming monumental. It scared Jordan. He’d always been more readable than this, at least to her. She realized now that he’d been depressed since Milwaukee, maybe even before that, and she’d missed it.
Being on the road and doing shows was usually Brenden’s biggest high, but it wasn’t now, and that was not a good sign. Jordan spent the rest of the day with Brenden, stroking his hair until he fell asleep. She knew that he hadn’t been sleeping well, she could see it in the dark circles starting under his eyes. Dark circles he hid whenever he was out or on stage with makeup. It worried her. He was tempting fate, and she didn’t think he even cared.
One afternoon, the beginning of the second month on tour, they pulled into Houston, Texas and up to the hotel where they were staying. They actually had a full day and night off that particular day, and everyone was looking forward to it. Tabitha got off the bus, and went inside to check them into their rooms and get the keys. After a few minutes she came back out and handed everyone the keys. Without a word BJ climbed off the bus, his gear bag in hand and walked straight into the hotel and to the elevator to his room.
Devlin, Tabitha, and Jordan watched him go, knowing he was really starting to drag, and worried about him endlessly.
“I’ll let him settle in and then go check on him,” Jordan told the other two, knowing that BJ would get annoyed if the same person checked on him over and over. Devlin and Tabitha had been doing so a lot over the last month.
“Good, thanks,” Devlin said, as Tabitha nodded agreement looking a bit relieved.
Three hours later, Jordan called Brenden’s room three times but there was no answer. Finally, she decided to go to his room to check on him. She knocked on the door. No answer. She knocked again, still no answer. She decided she needed to get into that room, so she went downstairs and sweet-talked the manager into letting her into his room. The man was putty in her hands and swiftly got the master key and led her back up to BJ’s room. He knocked on the door, with still no answer. Finally, he used the master key and let Jordan in. She thanke
d him with her million-dollar smile and a flirty wink.
She walked into Brenden’s room, looking around. She noticed an empty tequila bottle on the kitchen counter and then another out on the balcony.
“Oh, Lord …” she said, shaking her head.
“Beege?” she called.
There was no answer. She walked into the bedroom, and there he lay on the bed. He was fully clothed, his boots still on. At first, she thought he was passed out, but when she walked around to the side of the bed and kneeled down, she saw that his eyes were open.
“Beege?” she said, reaching out to touch his cheek.
His eyes turned to her, but he didn’t react at first. Then he closed his eyes and started to shake his head his face a mask of pain.
“Oh babe …” she said, moving to sit on the bed.
Brenden put an arm around her waist, dragging her closer to him, and burying his head against her stomach. She put her hands down to his hair, stroking it and sighing.
“Talk to me, B,” she said softly. “What’s going through your head right now?”
He shook his head stubbornly, keeping his face against her stomach.
“How much have you had to drink?”
Brenden shrugged.
“That much, huh?” Jordan said, grinning.
Brenden didn’t react at all.
Smoothing her hands through his hair, she said, “Beege, you need to talk, okay? You can’t keep all this inside, tell me what happened, what you’re thinking, what you want. Come on babe, talk to me.”
He shook his head again, keeping his face hidden.
Making a frustrated sound in her throat, Jordan moved down so she could look him in the eyes and he couldn’t hide anymore. Her gold colored eyes searched his.
“What is it Beege? Is it Allex?” she asked softly, trying to get through to him.
He looked like he was actually on the verge of tears. Jordan touched his cheek, wincing at the pain she saw in his eyes. She could also see he was very, very drunk. His eyes were glassy.
Sparks (Wild Irish Silence Book 1) Page 15
