Unbind My Heart (Club Decadence)

by Maddie Taylor

  “Pain from childhood often haunts us into adulthood, no matter how many years go by. Makes for a thriving market for shrinks and therapists.”

  “Truer words…”

  “I’m surprised about boarding school. That’s not cheap; funny that your aunt sprang for it.”

  “She didn’t. I did, or at least my trust fund did. I was fortunate that my dad had the forethought to have it overseen by an attorney friend of his or Janice Berry would have run through every penny.” She fiddled with her wine glass. “Boarding school was awful, Jonas. I hated it. The girls there were rich, spoiled and downright mean. They were worse than my cousins ever thought of being. I was lucky enough to be rescued by Aunt Jo and Uncle Peter before high school. They took me in and made sure I had a normal life. In the end, they adopted me.”

  “A silver lining. I’m glad you had them.”

  “They were wonderful.”

  “Did you compete anymore after that?”

  “After ten years in the sport, I couldn’t just give it up. Unfortunately, the local high school didn’t have a gymnastics team. So, in my freshman year, I moved here with my newly adopted grandfather. He was retiring from the Army and was moving back home to San Antonio. I went to school here, made friends, made the cheerleading squad and joined the gymnastics team. Grampa Stan was great. He raised Aunt Joanna alone and said starting with a fifteen-year-old was ‘a piece of cake.’ Besides, I was a good girl by comparison. My aunt was evidently a handful.” She smiled softly at the memories. “Anyway… my grades and gymnastic skills got me a free ride to Vanderbilt, believe it or not. So off I went to Nashville, Tennessee, tumbling and vaulting my way to a nursing career.”

  His brow was furrowed as she came to the end of her story. Aunt Jo, Uncle Peter and Grampa Stan, things were adding up. “Your grandfather wouldn’t happen to be Stan Becket, would he?”

  “Yes! You know him?”

  “Aunt Jo must be Joanna Davis, who is married to General Peter Davis, right?”

  She sat back, nodding. He smiled and shook his head; the small world platitude was true.

  “The general was the C.O. I served under for five years in the Special Forces. You’re Alexis, General Davis’ niece. He talked about you often. I just now put the two together.”

  “That’s them. Pete and Jo aren’t really related, but they were close friends of my mom and dad. I started calling them aunt and uncle when I was a toddler and it kind of stuck. They always treated me like family. Even though they made it official, I still call them Aunt and Uncle, out of habit.”

  Lexie looked relieved when their food arrived, considering it a welcome distraction, he was sure. It would take more than that to get Jonas to abandon a subject. He was doggedly persistent. She’d learn that soon enough.

  “You do know that your aunt and uncle, well… how do I put this delicately, uh—”

  “That Jo and Pete have been in the lifestyle for decades?”

  He stared at her a moment, surprised. “Yes, and they’re club members. Do you worry about running into them there?”

  She grimaced. Smooth move for introducing this subject, Mitchell. This was much too heavy for date number one. She surprised him by answering, brave girl.

  “I hadn’t expected to get beyond the bar and lounge actually.”

  “Could be awkward, but we could work around them. They don’t attend often and when they do, usually play in private, although there are exceptions. How did you find out about them, out of curiosity?”

  “Well, it’s not like we openly talked about it while I lived there, but after the divorce, Joanna kind of let it slip—”

  “Divorce? You were married?”

  “Yes, for about a year after college. It was a mistake. If it’s alright with you Jonas, I don’t really want to talk about it.”

  Again, his intense stare locked on her. Back off, he warned himself. You don’t want to scare her off. He let it go for now. “Okay, Lexie, that’s enough serious conversation for a first date. How about I tell you a little about me, and then we can talk about my project and see if you’re interested in working with me.”

  They chatted comfortably for the rest of the meal. Jonas told her about his boring, middle class upbringing—his words. He wasn’t a great student and there wasn’t money for college, so he’d entered the army after high school. After basic, he received some technical computer training and found he had an aptitude for it. Trained as a computer systems specialist, he was eventually transferred and stationed in Japan for seven years. While there, he became interested in martial arts and studied karate. He was also able to earn his computer science degree part-time all on Uncle Sam’s dime. From there he was recruited to the Special Forces and under General Davis’ command served in a unit with Cap and Rick and most of the Rossi men, until his discharge a few years ago. That led to his relocation to San Antonio and subsequent co-ownerships at Rossi and Club Decadence.

  Lexie showed genuine interest in his story and asked several questions. She smiled often and laughed easily. After huge steaks with all the sides, they decided they were too full for dessert. Still early, Lexie accepted the offer of a private tour of Jonas’ new studio. As they drove the few miles to his dojo, he patiently answered her endless questions about his training and his rank of eighth-degree black belt karate grand master.

  “So you’re like Steven Segal.”

  He laughed. “No, he’s a mere 7th-dan black belt in Aikido.”

  “I don’t even know what that means. How about Jean Claude Van Damme?”

  “Kickboxing?” He sent her an affronted look. “That’s just plain insulting.”

  She giggled. “Well, he was hot in that Time Cop movie and he has that awesome French

  accent.”

  “I’ll thank you not to talk about how hot and awesome you think another man is while on a date with me, Lexie.”

  “Sorry,” she replied, still amused.

  “Apology accepted.”

  “So are you more like Chuck Norris then?”

  “Chuck Norris and I share the same title, it’s true, although I need to clarify that he is only a puny middle weight. I’m in the heavyweight division, outweigh him by fifty pounds and have at least six inches on him in height and reach.”

  “So you’d kick his butt?” She challenged.

  “Yeah, baby, I’d mop the floor with the old man.”

  “I’m glad to see you’ve maintained your humility, despite all your success.” She deadpanned that remark so perfectly that they both burst out laughing and didn’t stop until he slowed to pull into the parking lot.

  ***

  Jonas’ studio was impressive. The well-appointed lobby opened up into the main floor through a short hall. Having been to several dojos for various classes, Lexie looked around wide-eyed, taking it all in with appreciation. The room was huge, appearing the size of a high school gymnasium. It even had rollout bleachers where an audience could sit and watch exhibitions or matches. There were thick mats on the floor and a mirrored back wall that created an illusion of additional size. Off to the right was a set of stairs that led to a loft-like second level. He explained that it also led to the administrative offices and private workout rooms. Pointing out a metal door, he showed her down to the full basement with weight equipment, a sauna and locker rooms.

  “This is very impressive, Jonas. What classes do you teach?”

  “I currently employ instructors in karate, Taekwondo, women’s self-defense, and—not to slight Mr. Van Damme—kickboxing.”

  Laughing, they climbed to the second level to continue the tour. Lexie was amazed at how comfortable she felt with him after such a short time. To have agreed to this date, despite the safety risks he’d outlined, showed how badly she wanted this to work. Lower your expectations and keep it light, Lexie, then you won’t get hurt.

  That damn voice again. If Lexie didn’t know better, she’d think she was losing it. She ignored it, not wanting her uncertainties to rule this eveni
ng.

  She barely knew him, yet felt safe with him and somehow knew she could trust him. How was that possible? This was only the second time they’d met. Maybe it was because she desperately wanted to be in a relationship. Especially with a strong, trustworthy man, who would also be kind, caring, and protective. After her last serious relationship… no, she didn’t even want to go there.

  She liked what she knew of Jonas so far. He was quick with a compliment, which was nice because it seemed sincere, not forced flattery. And she really liked the playful name he called her: Sunshine. She’d never had a nice nickname before. Her thoughts flickered to some unhappy memories, which she quickly pushed them away, burying them deep inside.

  Often unsure what to say in social situations, Lexie appreciated that Jonas guided the conversation so it never lagged or became awkward, not once.

  She considered his expensive car, the custom-made suit and the exclusive club membership, combined with the pricy restaurant he’d selected for dinner that night, and decided that the private security business must be quite lucrative. He probably lived in a plush mansion in one of the exclusive gated communities north of the city.

  So here she was, with a wealthy, charming, professional, who was also a Dom; that last part was exciting and frightened her a little, too. Her friends all talked about their dominant husbands who were arrogant, controlling and demanding. On the other hand, they also talked about how loving, affectionate and protective they were. Lexie wanted that. She was tired of being alone and dating was exhausting. She’d been taking care of everything by herself, being in charge all the time and making all the hard decisions alone. Of course, she had Jo and Uncle Pete, and even Grampa Stan to bounce things off, but it wasn’t the same as having a partner.

  For a brief time, she thought she might find that with Derek, which had been a huge error in judgment. He had been selfish, immature, still a boy, really. Jonas, she could tell, was all man.

  Be careful, you don’t know him, her head warned suddenly. That was true, but he wanted to take it slow, to let them get to know each other. What would it be like if he loved her, protecting her and at the same time taking charge and helping her control her unbelievably tedious life? That’s what Jo and Pete had, as well as Elena and Dex, and Regan and Rick. They were all happy couples with one thing in common—a D/s relationship—so there must be something to it. She eyed Jonas speculatively, trying to decide whether to take this chance. Playing it cautious all the time is getting you nowhere, her heart reminded her.

  Lost in thought, Lexie suddenly realized they were halfway through the smaller second floor and she hadn’t really seen a thing. Hurrying to catch up to Jonas, she saw him enter a room just up ahead with long glass windows. Stopping in the doorway, she looked around at the brightly lit smaller studio. Her eyes scanned the blinds on the windows and then rose to the ceiling where she gaped at the network of cables, pulleys and chains.

  “What do you do in this room?”

  “This is where I’ll be holding my Shibari classes.”

  Her breath caught as images flashed before her of Jonas’ binding her in intricate ties and suspending her from his rigging system. She walked farther into the room with her heartbeat accelerating, palms sweating, and other more private parts dampening as well. She tried to play it cool, although she’d already disclosed her fascination with ropes thanks to a trio of lemon drops.

  “I think I may have mentioned that a photographer friend and I are working collaboratively on a book. The topic is Shibari; not a how-to, but an artistic representation of how beautiful rope art can really be.” He walked up to Lexie and gently pulled her face down from where she was staring upward, transfixed by the bevy of ropes and pulleys in the ceiling. “I was hoping you would be my model.”

  “Me? Why me?”

  “My usual assistant for demonstrations is pregnant and unable to participate. She also isn’t quite the image I want to portray in the book. I need someone who is flexible and has the endurance to be tied and posed for long hours at a time. With your beauty and grace, along with your background in gymnastics and modeling, you’ll be perfect.”

  “Uh… I’ve never done anything like that before.” She looked away shyly and said, “Plus, I’m hardly in runway shape anymore.”

  Jonas instantly reacted to that negative comment. “You are gorgeous, Lexie. Do not put yourself down.” He stroked her cheek with a long finger and spoke earnestly to her. “I think you will be stunning in my ropes. A lot of the other work I’ve seen has been of stick-thin models whose bones protrude and detract from the lines of ties the rope artist is trying to achieve. I want my model to be attractive with a woman’s curves, instead of sharp points and boney protuberances.”

  “You want a plus-size model.”

  “Lex, please, no one would consider you plus size.”

  “I’m a size eight to ten, Jonas. Fashion models are at most a size four. That’s okay, I’m actually happy with my body. Tell me what else you’re expecting of your model.”

  “In order to truly portray the beauty of the ropes, my model would have to be nude. I promise these are going to be aesthetically pleasing and tasteful, Lexie. We are not doing a porn shoot by any means.”

  Lexie was intrigued and extremely excited by the prospect. To be tied up and displayed for this man was a fantasy come true. She knew she didn’t have to worry about friends and family seeing the pictures and being offended. Her only family was in the lifestyle and most of her friends as well. “What if I don’t like it?”

  “Being tied you mean? I was planning to do an introductory class this weekend. You could be my demonstration model. This will be a beginner’s class, so everyone will be new and nervous.”

  She thought about it for several minutes. “Like a test run. Okay, I’d like to try.”

  “Shibari can be a relaxing, sensual experience. I think you will enjoy it. I hope I can open your eyes to the true beauty and power of the experience.” Jonas took a step closer and brought her face up to his. “I’m very attracted to you, Lexie. Ever since the first night, I’ve wanted you. Tonight was a first step in building something between us. Shibari will bring us even closer together and be a giant step toward a more sensual relationship, ultimately easing you into the BDSM lifestyle, as well.”

  Jonas’ words and his thumb grazing along her plump lower lip had her melting. His touch was magnetic, and she seemed to be pulled closer, the attraction irresistible, his lips compelling.

  “It will be an exciting and very satisfying journey for us both. Does that sound like something you’d like?”

  “Yes, Jonas, I think I’d like that very much.”

  “Excellent. That means as of now, I am your Sensei and you are my dorei.”

  “That’s beautiful. What does it mean?”

  “Literally, it means slave. In the western world of Shibari, it means rope slave, and of course Sensei means Master.”

  “Really? I thought it mostly meant teacher; your other students call you that, too.”

  “Yes,” he agreed. “Like English, many Japanese words have different meanings. Within the context of Shibari and our relationship, I intend to be far more than your teacher, Lexie.”

  “I’m beginning to see that and, um well… although I’m comfortable calling you Sensei, I don’t know about the other.”

  “That’s fine. I think I’ve made it clear that I don’t want a full time Master/slave relationship; D/s is all that I’m interested in.”

  Relief swept over her upon hearing that. She didn’t know that she could give up her entire identity for anyone, even Jonas.

  Brushing his lips across her damp cheek, he moved to capture a lobe gently before whispering teasingly, “However, should you feel the need to call me Master in the heat of passion or if the spirit moves you, I won’t take offense.”

  She laughed softly and pressed her face against his neck, much more relaxed in the circle of his arms. He went on to clarify his new authority with
her.

  “Soon, at The Club, in the bedroom, and beyond, however we choose, I will be the Dominant that commands your submission. Ultimately, I intend to be the half that makes you whole, Lexie. Do you accept this?”

  “Jonas,” she exhaled his name against his lips. “My head tells me no, that it’s too soon and this is crazy, but my heart is screaming yes.”

  “Listen to that little devil on your shoulder, Lex. He is prodding you to take a risk. What is life without a little risk? Trust me. I’ll be here to keep you safe, to catch you if you fall.”

  Once again, his words closely mirrored her thoughts. It seemed like a sign that she could trust him and take a chance, to try to find love again. “Yes, I accept, Sensei. For the first time in a long time, I want so badly to follow my heart. Something inside tells me strongly that this is true, that it’s real. I pray that I’m right, because if it’s not and I’m wrong, I fear it will crush what’s left of my heart.”

  “I realize this is a huge leap of faith for you, and I am humbled by the trust you are giving to me. I swear to protect your fragile spirit, my dorei. I also promise to help you grow beyond whatever is holding you back. I’ll push for the answers, but I’ll be there for you. I vow that together we will unbind your wounded heart and allow it to heal, opening it up to me.”

  Tears rolled down her face at his beautiful words. Who was this man? She was waiting for someone to pinch her and wake her from this dream.

  “I’m going to kiss you now, Sunshine.”

  It was a statement of intent, not a request. As he bent his head, he brushed her lips softly, sampling tenderly. Lexie immediately responded by leaning up and into the kiss. When his tongue swept along her lips, she pressed more firmly against him, allowing her body to mold against his larger, harder, masculine form. The kiss ignited their passion and soon, they wrapped around one another in a heated embrace.

  Jonas was the first to pull away, regret clear as he looked down into her flushed face. Her lips felt wet and swollen. She watched his eyes drop to her mouth as her tongue darted out, licking away the remaining moisture.