Unbind My Heart (Club Decadence)

by Maddie Taylor

  “Jonas! I didn’t see you there. You scared the life out of me.”

  “That’s because your head was spinning and you were trying not to pass out. What are you doing, Lex? You know you’re not supposed to get up by yourself until this damn dizziness has passed.”

  “I have to go to the bathroom.”

  “You should have called for me.”

  “I did, but you didn’t hear me. I thought—”

  “You should have waited. You made a deal with me and your doctor. We all agreed you could recover at home if you followed the rules. You are not holding up your end of the bargain, Sunshine.” While he lectured, he guided her toward the bathroom with a strong arm around her waist. “If you fall again or re-injure yourself, you’ll be at the rehab hospital so fast your head will really spin.”

  “I know.”

  They’d arrived in the bathroom, and he started to adjust her clothing for her.

  “Jonas! I am not such an invalid that I can’t pull down my own pants to go pee.”

  He ignored her and pulled down her pajama bottoms and panties in one tug. “I’m not taking any chances. When I found you on the bathroom floor yesterday, your head inches from the tub, you scared ten years off my life.” He stood back with arms crossed once she was seated on the toilet.

  “Surely you’re not going to stand there and watch? Jonas! It’s embarrassing.”

  He arched a brow at her—waiting—without saying a word.

  Mumbling under her breath that even the nurses at the rehab hospital would give her privacy to pee, she did her business much to her mortification.

  Once she was finished, her face in flames, he supported her as she washed her hands and then assisted her back down the hall. This time he walked with her to the kitchen, sat her in an armchair nearby, and with a look, dared her to move a muscle while he prepared dinner.

  Lexie watched Jonas move around the kitchen. She hadn’t seen much of him in the last week because of the investigation. He’d left her in good hands, though—her Aunt Joanna. With Uncle Peter as busy as Jonas with the mission, Jo had practically moved in. She’d taken charge of caring for Lexie when Jonas wasn’t able to, although he always made her doctor’s appointments and tried to come home to her every night. Joanna was there for everything else: making sure she ate, got enough rest and was ready for her physical therapist’s home visits. The focus was building her strength.

  One of her rehabilitation team members was a nutritionist who came to the house on consultation and met with her and Jonas, prescribing a diet high in protein and calories to get her back to her pre-injury weight and rebuild some of the muscle mass she’d lost. When Lexie had joked about stopping at ten pounds shy of that goal, Jonas had given her that look again and continued the meal planning with the nutritionist without her input. That look, which he’d perfected during her recovery, clearly stated without words that he was taking charge of the situation.

  Lexie was frustrated. She was tired of feeling weak and helpless, and she was bored. She also missed Jonas. Even though he stood only a few feet away, he was distracted almost to the point of obsession over the cartel business. He was also treating her as though she would break if he breathed on her the wrong way. Of course, he was gentle and kind, but everything was different. The scolding he’d given her earlier revealed a glimpse of her old no-nonsense Jonas. Before the shooting, a rule violation would have been accompanied by a swift spanking instead of just a lecture and a frown.

  That afternoon, when he’d come home after being away for two nights, he had been solicitous, giving her a gentle hug and a brush of his lips against her forehead. He acted more like a brother or a friend than her lover. In her book, a peck on the cheek or forehead didn’t qualify as a kiss and she refused to acknowledge it as such.

  Jonas finished with dinner and served them both before seating himself across from her. It looked wonderful—beef medallions and gravy, loaded mashed potatoes, split peas and a tossed salad with broccoli and almonds—but the portions were humongous.

  “I’m going to be as big as a house.”

  “Hmph, Judy said you’ve only gained one pound this week. That reminds me.” He slid back his chair and headed to the fridge where he removed a carton of whole milk and poured her a large glass. She wrinkled her nose as she watched him sit back down and take a healthy swig from his ice-cold Corona. She looked at it longingly, much preferring an adult beverage like a beer, or better yet a nice Sangiovese, which would be perfect with the beef.

  Sighing, she lifted her glass of milk and took a big swallow. She should enjoy being fattened up like a Christmas goose in November; after all, what woman wouldn’t kill for the chance to eat whatever and whenever she pleased. Lexie just didn’t have much of an appetite.

  “You’re awfully quiet, baby. Are you hurting?”

  “No, I’m fine. Just tired of all this convalescing, I guess.”

  Jonas reached for her hand and squeezed it gently. “It won’t be forever. The doctor said it would take some time, but you could expect to be your old happy, sassy self as long as we can get that scale to tip at 140.”

  She pulled her hand away and clasped them in her lap. Her head down, she blinked back the tears that threatened.

  “Lexie, what is it?”

  “I feel cheated. A month ago, we were happy and enjoying being in love, attending concerts and your classes or playing at The Club. Now all we talk about is my weight, what my intake and output was for the day, and my intimate bodily functions, not the good ones either I should add. I’m tired of being the patient to your doctor, which I’m sure, is no fun for you either. I want to go back to what it was before.”

  Moving around the table, Jonas crouched at her side. His hand found her chin and nudged it up so she was looking at him. His expression was solemn, his tone intense. “You nearly died on me, Lexie. For a week, you hung to life by a thread and I thought I was going to lose you. When my prayers were answered and you came back to me, I swore I would do what was necessary to get my old Lexie back. If that means I have to be a hardass to see that you do everything possible to get better, you’ll just have to deal with it.” Tucking a loose tendril of hair behind her ear, he leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. “I want what you want, Sunshine, but you’re rushing things. As you said, it’s only been a month. We’ll have plenty of time for fun and play when you’ve recovered. To have that, you have to follow both the doctor’s orders and mine, listen to your nurse and therapists, and get better. Our priority is making you well right now. Do you understand?”

  Her lips quirked in a hint of a smile. How could she not understand? He was very stern and exacting. “You’ve obviously put a lot of thought into this.”

  “I love you and want everything we had before, and more. I want us to build a life together, Sunshine.”

  Heart melting, she cupped his cheek and looked earnestly into his eyes. “I want that too, Jonas, and I promise to do better with the rules.”

  He leaned in again and gave her another soft, sweet kiss. “Thank you, baby.”

  As he stood to return to his seat, she surprised him by saying, “The doctor stopped in today, did Judy tell you?”

  Alarmed, Jonas stiffened. His hands went to her face, rubbing along her cheeks and pausing on her forehead. His fingers slipped lower, lightly caressing along her throat. Lexie knew he was assessing her for a fever and checking her pulse as he’d done so often in the past few weeks. “I didn’t know you had an appointment. Was there a problem I’m not aware of?” Concern radiated from him, by word and deed.

  “No, honey, nothing serious. Judy let him know my blood pressure was still low and about the persistent dizziness. I think he made a house call as a favor to you; they’re practically unheard of these days. You club members sure are a close-knit group.”

  “What did he say about the dizziness?”

  “He left me a prescription for Antivert—for dizziness—and told me to increase my fluids. He also drew some
blood and did a few other things.”

  “What other things?”

  Of course, he would notice that, instead of all the other details she’d given him. He focused on what she had tried to gloss over.

  “It’s nothing, really.”

  “Do I call Judy or do you tell me, Lexie?”

  Searching his resolute expression, she decided it wasn’t worth arguing about. “Fine, he also ordered an antidepressant. I wasn’t happy about it, but both he and Judy thought it might be helpful with the pain as well as my mood.”

  “Why wouldn’t you want me to know that? I think it’s an excellent idea. You’ve been down lately, and after what you’ve been through, I imagine it’s common to be depressed.”

  “It’s silly, I know. I just didn’t want you to see me as weaker than I already am.” A tear escaped and she wiped it away quickly, hating that she cried at the drop of a hat anymore, another sign of her fragility.

  “Impossible. I’ve heard the stories from that night. You single-handedly saved that boy and were ready to sacrifice yourself to protect him. While that scares the shit out of me, I’m in awe of your skill and bravery. How many other doctors or nurses could have done the same under such extreme circumstances?” His arms slipped around her and he picked her up carefully, bringing her onto his lap and cuddling her close. “You are so strong, baby, and you’re resilient. You’ve had to be your entire life, but you’re not alone anymore, Lex. You can lean on me all you need to and I won’t see you as weak. Let me carry the burden for a while.”

  “I love you, Jonas, so very much.”

  “I love you, too.” His lips brushed hers in a sweet kiss. “Now, how about we eat before it’s cold, yeah? If you eat all your beef, there’s apple pie for dessert.”

  Smiling, she shook her head. “There is no way I am eating that pile of food, Jonas. There is enough to feed the whole Rossi group on that plate.”

  He scooped up a bite of meat and gravy and fed her a forkful. “Hardly, you haven’t seen my friends eat. Lil T would consider this a light snack.”

  “Mmmm…. that is so good. Where did you learn to cook like this?”

  He gave her another forkful, this time of the mashed potatoes loaded with sour cream, bacon and cheese, grinning as she groaned with pleasure. “It’s a secret recipe.”

  “Surely you can share with me. I’m trustworthy.” She opened her mouth eagerly for the next taste, her appetite suddenly coming back with gusto.

  “I’d tell you in a heartbeat, although Anton might object.”

  “Who’s Anton?”

  “The head chef at Fredrick’s in Alamo Heights.”

  Laughing, she elbowed his side. “You cheat! You had me conned into thinking my man was a gourmet chef with skills.”

  “I’ve got skills, baby; cooking isn’t really one of them.” Her next bite of beef slid into her mouth, leaving a little smudge of gravy on her lower lip. He leaned in and licked it away. “Mm, so good. I like feeding you. We’ll have to do this more often.”

  “I thought the slave was supposed to feed the master.”

  “You can peel me a grape some other time. For now, I like being in charge of what goes into your mouth.”

  “Jonas, these double entendres are getting quite naughty. We might have to have our dessert in the bedroom.”

  “Sorry, Sunshine. Not until we get the all clear from your doctors.”

  “What? That’s silly. None of those parts were injured.”

  His eyes met hers, and although she saw the spark of desire there, his face was serious.

  “Your heart stopped and they did CPR on you, Lex. When your cardiologist says your heart is ready for aerobic exercise, then and only then will we be having dessert in the bedroom. Clear?”

  “Yes, Sir,” Lexie grumbled as she accepted a scoop of peas. They were sautéed in cream sauce with little pearl onions and the flavor exploded on her tongue. “I guess I can sublimate my need for sex with this divine food from Chef Anton.”

  Grinning, his playfulness returning quickly, he licked her glistening lips free of the cream sauce that lingered there. “No problem, honey. Tomorrow we’ll have the Chilean sea bass with fingerling potatoes. It’s my second favorite.”

  “Mm, sounds heavenly. I’ve changed my mind,” she teased, trying to keep a straight face, “who needs sex, when there’s Chef Anton.”

  “Bite your tongue, woman. This is only temporary.” For the first time, he took a bite and groaned in Lexie fashion, as he tasted the beef.

  “See? It changed your mind, didn’t it?”

  “Hell no. Sex first, then food, and never will the order be reversed. I’m just sublimating.” He winked as he gave her a taste of the salad with almonds and the special house dressing. “What are your feelings about chocolate mousse cake with raspberry sauce?”

  “Positively orgasmic.” Her giggle turned into a yelp when he pinched her behind.

  Against her lips, he murmured, “Tease.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Another week of therapy, rest and sexual frustration passed. Lexie had responded to the new medication, increased her fluid intake, and her dizziness had subsided. As far as the depression, it was really too soon to tell. Jonas’ work had brought him back to San Antonio and he was home almost every night. That was a better treatment than any medication could ever be.

  True to his word, there had been no sex. Mostly, they’d spent their evenings quietly, cuddling in front of the TV, arguing over silly things like who was the bigger badass Raylan Givens from Justified (Jonas’ pick, because he was a good guy who was also a badass Federal Marshal) or Jax Teller from Sons of Anarchy (Lexie’s pick because the Harley was hot). Other times, they just cuddled in bed while talking. While Lexie enjoyed the intimacy, she wanted more of what they had before she’d been shot.

  It was the day before her cardiology appointment, and she was looking forward to a clean bill of health. She was getting dressed when Jonas walked into the bedroom.

  “I’ve had to call in reinforcements today. Regan and Elena will be over in thirty minutes.”

  “I thought you were staying home with me today.”

  “Sorry babe. Something big is going down next week and we’ve got a shit ton of prep work to do if we’re gonna be ready for it.”

  “I don’t need babysitters, honey. I don’t think Judy is necessary anymore either. The therapy is helping and I’m feeling much stronger, really.”

  “No changes until we hear what the doctor says tomorrow, Lexie.” Pulling her into his arms, he kissed her lips, his mouth gliding along her jaw and down to her throat.

  “Jonas, please don’t tease me.” She arched against him and felt her nipples pressing insistently against her sports bra. Unsexy and plain, the close-fitting bra with its smooth fabric was the only thing that didn’t irritate her scar these days. Dressed for her therapy session in old workout clothes with her hair in a messy knot on top of her head, she was amazed she aroused Jonas’ interest at all. His lips on her and the big hands that caressed her ardently told her differently. He cupped her bottom, pulling her against his hips. Then the big tease rubbed his thumb across her hard nipple, making it peak and ache.

  “Unfair!” Lexie cried out as she arched and pressed against him, needing him badly. His head lowered and he bit gently into the soft skin of her neck before he finally pulled away. Groaning in pain, he adjusted himself, trying to relieve his discomfort. From the look on his face, it didn’t help.

  “Sorry, honey. I am being unfair, and since self-flagellation has never been my personal kink, I’ll stop.”

  Leaving her aching with need, he walked into the bathroom. A second later, she heard running water and imagined him splashing cold water on his face. He was hurting as much as she was, well deserved since he was the one who’d started it all. When he came back out, she could see he was just as hard as ever. Lexie sat uncomfortably on the bed, nipples still beaded and pressing against her thin top. They were hard to miss, espe
cially when she tried to mitigate her discomfort by rubbing them with both hands. Her efforts to ease her aching body were as ineffective as his had been.

  “Hell baby, don’t do that.” Grabbing her hands, he pulled them away from her breasts and then tugged her to her feet. As he guided her out of the bedroom and away from their tempting king-size bed, he muttered, “Walk me to the door. I’m gonna go before I do something I’ll regret. Tomorrow better end this forced abstinence, before I need a doctor myself.”

  As they walked down the stairs, she stopped short, startling him with an enthusiastic hug, her arms squeezing him tightly around the waist. “You’ll be extra careful, won’t you, Jonas? I can’t stand the thoughts of something happening to you.”

  “After what I went through last month, I’ll do anything to spare you that agony. Don’t worry, we are well-staffed and very well-trained, and if local, state and federal law enforcement stay out of our way, we’ll have this thing wrapped up soon.”

  “That something big you were talking about—”

  “I really don’t want you to worry about this, Lexie. Focus on your appointment tomorrow and how we’ll celebrate afterward, okay?”

  Knowing she’d gotten as much out of him as he was willing to give, she nodded. He seated her in the living room with another soft kiss as the bell rang. Her eyes zoomed in on his perfect butt as she watched him walk to the door. Tomorrow’s appointment couldn’t come too soon.

  Jonas opened the door to twin whirlwinds named Regan and Elena. They swooped in with arms loaded; a huge bouquet of fresh cut flowers, a bowl of fresh fruit, three extra-large caramel drizzle lattes, Lexie’s favorite, and a huge tray of pastries from Megan’s bakery. The friends chattered away as they laid out their treats on the coffee table while Jonas went to the kitchen to get plates, forks and napkins for the ladies. When he came back, he stood behind Lexie and gave her fill-in nurses her schedule.

  “The physical therapist will be here at ten o’clock, and meds are due at noon—I already set them out in a cup on the kitchen counter. She needs to rest in bed this afternoon for at least two hours. That huge vat of coffee is three times her limit so no more after that. There are protein drinks in the fridge. Make sure she drinks one, two if she doesn’t eat a good lunch. The security system stays armed, and no one is allowed in except the therapist or Rossi men, of course. Otherwise, stay in and stay safe. I should be home by four at the latest. If I get delayed, I’ll call.” Tugging her ponytail gently, until her head fell back and she was looking up at him, he leaned forward and claimed her lips. Brief though it was, the kiss was open mouthed, tongue involved and seriously hot. Whispering against her lips he said, “Gotta go, Sunshine, be good.”