Thrills and Spills

by Dominique Kyle

“It’s almost never actually about you or anything you’ve done. It’s just a show they’re putting on for the rest of the internet audience for some pathetic reason of their own. So you just have to ignore them and not allow it to change one iota of anything that you do and tell them to go screw themselves, ok?”

  “Ok…” I murmured.

  “Good girl,” Paul said and gave my shoulder a squeeze. “You’re not allowed to let anything get in your way now. Not now you’ve got this dream of a car…”

  I gave him a small smile and nodded. But after he’d gone I went over to Pete. “What if some of them are him?” I said worriedly.

  He massaged my neck with one hand while he thought about it. “Is that at all likely?”

  “I’ve no idea,” I said. But the mere thought of it made me feel a bit sick. “It’s just that with all this publicity, it must be really easy to find out where I am at any one time. Everyone knows where I work. They can guess which raceway I’m going to be at every weekend, and it must be easy enough to find out where I live. And Quinn - he’s always tweeting where he is and what he’s doing! I just don’t think I can risk going out jogging with him for instance – we always split up part of the way round and I jog home on my own in the dark and I’ve never even thought twice about it, but now…” I trailed off.

  “Yeah, you’re right,” Pete agreed. “You can see if he’s willing to do a shorter circuit with you – no-one will attack you with Quinn around, he’s a big lad. But if he’s not willing to do that, then I think you should stop. Just go to the gym instead. After all it’s Ladies only, and you can ride your bike there and back. Just don’t walk anywhere on your own after dark…”

  I could see Paul’s point and I knew he was right, but the fact that Pete was taking the potential threat seriously was the most calming to me. I was so relieved that I’d told Pete about what happened with Trev right at the very beginning. It meant that there didn’t have to be any secrets between us now.

  The Thrills and Spills team had arranged to come round to the flat on Tuesday night. We cleaned and tidied the flat to within an inch of its life and I was quite careful how I looked. I wanted to be casual but more feminine than they usually saw me. So I went for bare feet with low cut jeans and a loose top, tied in the front at the waist where it left just enough gap to show off my belly piercing. I left my hair loose but a bit curly and wild looking and copied what Lisa had done with my eyes for my birthday dinner (she’d left the stuff for me).

  The interviewer was a new one. A girl called Tanya. In her mid-twenties, quite giggly and flirty, and we got on with her straight away. She explained that in such a long series, viewers would often join part way through the year, so they had to keep finding new ways of re-establishing the characters involved without repeating the same footage and thereby pissing off all the loyal followers who had been there right from the beginning. So she’d be asking us lots of personal questions in an informal setting to remind everyone that the three of us were long established friends and to highlight any ongoing relationship tensions.

  I took that as a hint to go and make us tea and coffee, and I was extremely careful to hold myself well and to look round in a friendly smiling way when asking what they all wanted, leaning back against the surface casually, and sticking my tits out, as I just knew they’d be filming it all.

  Once we were sitting round the table, mugs in front of us, Tanya looked slyly at Quinn and said, “A little bird has told me that you’ve been having a few incidents at work…”

  The look on Quinn’s face in reaction to that made me and Kes glance at each other and wait expectantly. He slapped his forehead and groaned theatrically.

  “I’m a nervous wreck, I’m telling you! I hardly dare answer a call!”

  “Why’s that?” Prompted Tanya, suppressing a smile.

  “Well, I used to enjoy it – you know – dunna nunna, dunna nunna – super mechanic to the rescue of the lone woman!” He did the superman sound effect with one arm out.

  “And we know how much Adam loves his lone women, don’t we Eve?” Kes grinned across at me.

  “But now…” He shuddered dramatically, “Often when I get there, it turns out they’re not broken down at all, they just pretended they were because I tweeted what patch I was on duty that night and they wanted to get me on my own in the dark!”

  “Oh Quinn, poor diddums,” I mocked, “all those women throwing themselves at you just gagging for it…”

  “No seriously Ginty, it’s really going too far! Last night I arrived to this car and there were four of them in it. And when I looked under the bonnet I found they’d just removed their spark plugs and when I straightened up and asked them where they’d hidden them, they tried to drag me into the car demanding I have a foursome with them!”

  “Oh my God! What did you do?” Tanya exclaimed sympathetically.

  Kes and I were laughing too much, holding our noses and snorting to say anything at all.

  He looked conflicted. “You’re going to broadcast this whatever I answer aren’t you?” He surmised.

  I nudged Kes. “Look Kes, you can almost hear the cogs whirring in there, while he works out what demographic he most wants to appeal to, and what the right answer would be!”

  Quinn gave me a darkling look. “When I am in my RAC uniform, I am a professionally behaved representative of the RAC.”

  “Yeah, but Quinn, I thought the point was that they wanted to get you out of your uniform!”

  Tanya leant towards me. “So what do you think he did, Eve?”

  “I think…” I ran my eyes assessingly up and down his face then bared my teeth in a taunting smile, “that he ran away…”

  “Kes?” Tanya queried.

  Kes grinned. “Oh I’m certain he ran away!” He reached for his guitar which was never far from him. “Ran away down the road with all four women hoofing after him!” And he broke into a little snatch of 1970’s style Benny Hill type comedy music.

  Quinn looked rueful. “Well you’re both right, of course I bloody ran away! I tore myself from their clutches which took some doing, I can tell you! Then I leapt on my bike and roared off into the darkness…”

  He looked resentfully across at us. “It’s all very well for you two to crease up there! But I’m going to have to ask to join one of the van teams for a bit. Instead of looking forward to a call coming in, I’m getting tense about what is going to be there to greet me. Every time I bend over an engine I’m having to edge my arse away from the wandering hands!”

  “Welcome to the world of being a woman!” I congratulated drily. “What do you think happens to a female who has to spend half her life with her backside temptingly stuck in the air?”

  He looked shamefacedly at me. “You know I never had any sympathy before, I always assumed that they must secretly quite like it, but I’m getting the other side of the picture now…” He looked straight at the camera. “Hey lads, just leave them alone will you, it’s not pleasant at all! And you women, please, please, pl-e-e-a-se, stop grabbing me will you? I’m getting so I hardly dare leave the house!”

  He caught our hysterical gaze, “No seriously you two, it’s everywhere! Supermarket queues, bending over to pick up a tin of tuna…”

  “Actually,” I said suddenly. “I’m getting rape threats.”

  Quinn and Kes stared at me.

  “Shit,” Quinn said, sounding shaken.

  “Seriously?” Kes was obviously shocked.

  “Yeah, lots of them apparently. I keep being told ‘that’s what the internet’s like these days – it’s just trolls – they don’t act on it, they just get off on being unpleasant – all women in the public eye start getting them’ but you only need one of them to actually mean it, don’t you? And you just don’t know do you?” I glanced across at Quinn. “That’s why I didn’t come jogging with you yesterday. You’re always tweeting where you are, and we always split up part way round and I jog home on my own in the dark, so I figured I’d better not be doin
g that anymore.”

  Quinn looked worried. “We could do a shorter run so I can stay with you-” He offered.

  I shook my head. “If I have to keep up with you I’ll just exhaust myself, and if you have to slow down for me you’ll just get frustrated. No, I’ll just have to stick with going to the gym and parking in a well lit place…”

  “I could come to the gym with you,” Quinn offered nobly.

  I gave him a wry smile. “It’s ladies only remember?”

  He looked a bit horrified. “No! No more ladies… I never thought I’d hear myself say this – but I really can’t cope!”

  “So,” Tanya interjected, seeing a lull in the conversation. “I hear you have a new car Eve? Why didn’t you tell us in advance? We’d have come to film the big occasion…”

  I was cautious how I answered this. We’d agreed not to let on that Tyler had approached us to offer the car, rather than us him, in case it caused jealousy or suspicion on the circuit.

  “Well, I didn’t know you see. We couldn’t get my car fixed in time after I’d trashed it the week before, what with Dad and all that, so I expected to sit it out. But the Sattertwaites threw my race gear into the transporter ‘just in case’ and when I got to Buxton Raceway I found they’d organised a loan of a car for the day, and by the end of the day it became obvious that they’d actually planned it to be a test drive.”

  “And you didn’t know?” Tanya said.

  “No, I didn’t know who the car belonged to, or that it was anything other than a single day loan…”

  “So you liked it and you bought it?” Tanya prompted.

  “Well it’s not paid for yet,” I cavilled. “And I’ve no idea yet how I’ll manage to pay for it, but I’m very lucky to have it and I spent most of Sunday sitting cross legged in front of it, just looking at it and smiling inanely…”

  “So do you two spend all your time talking about engines and racing?” Tanya inquired, indicating me and Quinn.

  We both shook our heads.

  “Never,” I said firmly.

  “Surely you discuss the races afterwards?” She sounded a bit incredulous.

  We shook our heads again.

  “Engine set-ups? Shale/tarmac modifications?” She pushed.

  “Certainly not,” I said sharply. “That would be industrial espionage! We have a no work/no race zone here in the flat. We’ve never been on the same race team, and we’ve never even worked together on an a normal car’s engine, have we Quinn?”

  “Isn’t that a bit odd?” Tanya frowned. “Given you’ve known each other all your lives and with your mutual interests?”

  “You’re not getting the basic point, Tanya, that Quinn and I aren’t friends. We not even friendly very often…”

  Kes hopped on board. “Yes it’s very wearing, I can tell you, Adam and Eve have been at each other’s throats since they first met when they were four and if there wasn’t some friction going on between them, then the rest of us friends would get increasing tense because this just meant that one of them was planning something a bit more time-consumingly evil for the other…”

  “I’ll think we’ll wrap it up there,” Tanya said briskly. “That’s a good note to end on. Thanks guys, that was great!”

  “So I’m hoping your presence means that Annette has been given the old heave-ho?” I observed a bit bitchily.

  Tanya looked a bit coy. “Well not exactly. She’s now going to stick to interviewing the older participants and I’m assigned to you guys…”

  “Brilliant!” I was thrilled to see the back of the evil Annette.

  “Yes the production team could see that it was an increasing mis-match.” Got tired of filming me being prickly and glaring at someone behind the camera like I wanted to kill them, I surmised. “So we’re going to have a lot more fun from now on!” She promised.

  After she left I turned to Quinn. “You couldn’t just massage my neck for me could you? It still hurts from last Saturday…”

  He obligingly came round to my chair and started working on me while I groaned in bliss.

  Kes rolled his eyes. “If Tanya could see you two now she wouldn’t believe a word of what we’ve just said. If I turn my back now I could imagine I was submerged in the soundtrack of a porno movie!”

  I opened one eye and said, “Oh shut-up Kes.” And Quinn just laughed.

  On the show the next day they started out with the conversation about me about my new car. Then they cut to some amateur footage clearly taken by a spectator, of the three spectacular finishes to my races.

  Quinn and I and Siân and Kes were all squished up on the settee together watching it.

  “Whoa, Ginty, you really went for it, didn’t you?” Quinn sounded unexpectedly admiring.

  Then they cut to Tyler working on his car in a garage.

  “So you’ve sold Eve McGinty your race car from last year?” I recognised Annette’s voice.

  “Yes,” Tyler confirmed economically and carried on with his work ignoring her.

  “So why did you do that?”

  He glanced round. “I normally hang on to my last car a bit longer than this, but the girl was struggling with the vehicle she had. Every time she gets into a decent car she’s leading the field, but for weeks now she’s been stuck in a scrum at the back. I’m notoriously picky who gets my old cars, so I figured I’d give her a trial with it to see if she deserved it, and she clearly did…”

  “Aren’t you afraid she might beat you now?”

  He gave a crack of laughter. “Now why would I be afraid of that? She’s just a terrier yapping at my heels right now. When I look into the rear view mirror and see a Doberman coming up behind then I’ll consider worrying! No, as soon as the sport gets predictable it gets boring for the spectators and more importantly, boring for the drivers, so we need to encourage the new young talent every year to come roaring up the grades and give us a run for our money, because it keeps it fresh, it keeps us on our toes and it keeps it interesting for everyone involved.”

  I could tell from the expression on his face that last Saturday was the only time he was ever going to hang around for me and play. I was really going to have to fight. I wondered how I would ever beat him. Was it purely driving skills? Psychology? Race tactics? Experience? Hours put in at the wheel? Engineering of the vehicle? He clearly respected me enough to offer me a leg up, but he was confident he wasn’t in any danger yet… I didn’t glance sideways at Quinn as I sensed he was glowering.

  “So when did you first notice her, and what were your first impressions of her?” Annette was asking. I held my breath, finding I really cared what he was about to say.

  Tyler straightened up and his lips twitched. “I spotted this white roof with a number I didn’t recognise mysteriously leading the pack. I saw this diminutive driver get out and I thought some underage kid had managed to illegally sneak a drive so I went over to speak to him. Only when the guy took his helmet off it turned out not to be a guy at all. So I asked her who she was and she looked me up and down, looked at my car, looked back at me and said, “Gold Roof huh – bet you think you’re the dog’s bollocks around here!” He made it sound sarcastically taunting in his re-telling. He gave a wry grin. “So I knew right then we were in for some added spice to the season…”

  They then cut back to the flat and showed the rest of the conversation. Quinn’s dilemma, the threats I was receiving and finally the rivalry between Quinn and me. Looking at Siân’s face I figured the ‘little bird’ was either Siân or Rob. Worth remembering not to mention anything in front of her that I didn’t want to be broadcast.

  Paul brought the new car down to Entwistle’s for some fresh publicity photos. I saw with shock that the roof was painted red.

  “Official gradings for the month are out,” Paul told me, “And you’ve had a heat win and a final win in one day…”

  “It’s hardly worth painting it is it?” I said gloomily. “We’ll be having to re-paint it blue in a month’s time…” />
  “Now that’s not the attitude to have Eve,” he chided. “Now you’ve got it you have to be determined to keep up there…”

  I wondered about Tyler letting me through on that Final. Was he getting a red roof for me? Was that what it was about?

  “And it doesn’t hurt to take the publicity photos while you’ve got a red roof, does it?” He teased. Then he looked at me and said with his lips twitching, “You never said that to Tyler did you?”

  “I was trying to be polite!” I defended. “I know I’m a bit too confrontational at times so I was trying to ease it back a bit.”

  Paul covered his eyes for a moment with his hand. Then I saw he’d trying not to laugh. “No wonder he’s been bashing you ever since! Honestly Eve!”

  I saw Tyler next down in Birmingham that Saturday. I went over to him and said, “I haven’t said ‘thank you’ to you for the car yet, I didn’t find out it was yours until after we got home… So thanks so much, it’s such a relief…”

  Quinn wandered across somewhere in the distance and Tyler’s eyes tracked him. “I understand why they picked him to feature, he’s good value entertainment isn’t he?” He was clearly thinking of the last episode.

  “Yeah,” I agreed, “And you wouldn’t believe the scrapes he manages to get himself into – all they have to do is sit back and wait and before the end of the year I’m betting he’ll have got himself into some sort of hilarious pickle!”

  Tyler suddenly frowned at me. “Are you really getting rape threats?”

  I shrugged. “Apparently it’s par for the course if you’re a female once you get on TV.”

  “People are such shit-heads,” he slammed. He looked a bit mean. “Well they’ll have to get past me first…”

  I laughed. “Thanks Tyler, I appreciate the sentiment, but I don’t think they’re going to jump me in the middle of a race, do you?”

  He gave a reluctant grin. “Ok, point taken. Have fun with the new car…” And he walked off.

  Birmingham was a world qualifier so it was a highly competitive field. And also I’d never driven the track. Even so, I noticed the difference with the red roof, because despite being further back to start with, the lower grades mostly just got out of my way. I scraped a place in the Final out of the second heat and came seventh in the Final and eighth in the Grand National.