Thrills and Spills

by Dominique Kyle

  Then they went to Tyler. “So, Eve has beaten you into first place twice today,” they said.

  “Yes, she has, hasn’t she?” Tyler said coolly. He wasn’t going to be drawn.

  “And in the third race, she didn’t even try, just tootled along a few places behind,” they suggested.

  “Yes, she did, didn’t she?” Tyler agreed expressionlessly, and then he turned away.

  Ho, Ho! I thought. I scent the fact that he’s finally not finding it so funny when he sees me coming up behind him in his rear view mirror…

  Then they approached Paul somewhere on the stands. He hadn’t mentioned it to me.

  “So Eve seems to be getting ever better results,” they said. “You’ve been a Champion yourself in your time so you’re well placed to tell us what you think is the secret to her success?”

  Paul folded his arms and looked thoughtful. “Apart from the obvious – that it is necessary to have a talent for driving, with split second reactions and no fear? Well in her case it seems to be an advantage to not have so much testosterone washing around. Instead of getting carried away in the aggression of the moment and getting involved with rivalries on the track just for the sake of it, she keeps a cool head, and she doesn’t tangle with anyone unless she has to, and doesn’t attempt to win at all costs.”

  “Why wouldn’t you attempt to win in every race?”

  “There’s all sorts of tactics going on you know, calculation of points needed, calculations of where you need to come in a semi-final to get the place you want in the grid for a final, calculations of whether you can afford to trash your car just before a more important race, various psychological tricks you might be playing on various rivals. It’s not just putting the foot on the accelerator and staring straight ahead. The drivers are playing all sorts of games out there. And you have to re-calculate your tactics every few minutes sometimes, to get the best out of a race.”

  “And you think she’s good at all that?”

  He smiled. “Yes, that’s her hidden weapon. Maybe it comes with those double X chromosomes huh?”

  “Would you say she was unusually aggressive for a girl? Is that why she has that conviction for GBH?”

  He shrugged. “One thing she did right from the start was target the leaders. It’s not really done for a novice white roof to hurl themselves to the front. You’re supposed to politely move over to let the superstars go past. Only she never did that – she headed straight for Tyler. None of them were taking her seriously at the beginning, she was a bit of a novelty. They’re having second thoughts now though…”

  Quinn nudged me. “High praise huh?”

  I felt all warm and squidgy inside. I hadn’t had so much to do with Paul recently with our girls-together bid for independence, so it meant a lot that he was saying so many nice things about me. And it had the strange effect of re-energising my respect for his expertise. I must really make a point to listening to any advice he gave me. If it hadn’t been for his quiet, steady, solid, no-nonsense, understated guidance, I would never have done as well as I had. I hadn’t just magically been able to do this, Paul had carefully trained me up from the start.

  Then all the portentous voice-over stuff started outlining what we had found when we got home at two in the morning after the racing. Explaining what Kes had found in the paper that had caused him so much distress.

  Cut to Siân. Tanya’s voice off camera. “So Siân, you don’t seem at all embarrassed about this article in the paper and accompanying pictures?”

  Siân – “Why should I be? It’s just a bit of fun. Kinky sex. Adds a bit of spice to the love life!”

  “So did you ask Kes’ permission before you released them to the press?”

  Siân – (looking shocked) – “They were taken from my password protected Blogspot! Once they’d got hold of them I thought I might as well give an interview to explain them…”

  “But you didn’t warn Kes?”

  She shrugged. “I didn’t think he’d be bothered – after all he knew I took photos of every session! Why would he let me take the photos if he was bothered about them?”

  “In the article in the newspaper you mention that you and Pete deliberately had sex at a time and in a place where you expected Eve to come across you. Is that true?”

  Siân looked smug. “Yes, and it worked out just as planned.”

  “Isn’t that a bit cruel?”

  Siân stared a bit hard at her. “Cruel to be kind.” She snapped. “At least that way she’d know for sure it was over!”

  Quinn glanced at me. I ignored him and controlled my expression.

  Then she did a bit of boo-hoo crocodile tears about the fact that she needed to go up and apologise to Kes, and then they showed the footage of what happened when she arrived at Kes’ door.

  “Do you think she’s shown herself up enough yet?” I said to Quinn.

  “Hope so,” he replied. He sighed. “Poor, poor Mum.”

  On Thursday we went up to see Kes again. The good news was that he’d passed the four day danger mark. Apparently if you survive past the fourth day after a paracetamol overdose, your liver starts to regenerate again. He was a bit cheerier, and the rest of the guys from the band turned up. When they all arrived I decided to retreat. I drove out to the Satterthwaites and went into the barn to look at my car. I stopped short when I saw that there was already someone in there, and that person on his own was Pete.

  He looked up and smiled slightly. “Hi!”

  “Hi,” I said, putting my lid down on the bench.

  “I’ve worked out what the problem is…” he said in an obvious invitation to walk over towards him and his car. So I did so.

  He showed me what he was doing, and I nodded in response. Then he ground to a halt and leant on his car avoiding my eyes. “I thought you ought to know that I’m no longer seeing Siân.”

  I said nothing.

  “She’s not very nice, is she?” He said.

  I said nothing.

  He glanced sideways at me. “Listen, I’m truly sorry I hurt you so much.”

  I shrugged.

  He seemed to get a bit frustrated at my lack of response. “It’s not true we planned it. She might have. Well, she obviously did. But I would never have wanted to hurt you like that.”

  I walked away and went and sat down on the bench. He followed me over and sat down beside me. He gripped his hands tightly together between his knees. “I’ve been a complete idiot, I know that! I’m not asking you to forgive me… I just want you to understand that I’m truly sorry.”

  I still couldn’t manage to say anything.

  “Please Eve…” He said desperately. Then he said abruptly, “Will you let me hug you one last time? Just to say sorry?”

  As he put his arms around me and hugged me really tight, tears began to trickle from my eyes again. I realised that I was desperate to hear the words, please forgive me. Please let’s go back to how it was before. Not ‘I’m not asking for forgiveness’ and the terrible words one last hug. That was the final end to it. That was the death knell. He’d moved on and he didn’t need me anymore, just wanted for me not to be so hurt. I began to sob desolately and tore away from him, picked up my lid and walked really fast to the door.

  “Eve,” he called after me. “Eve, honestly, I’m really sorry!”

  Back in my bedroom it felt as though I’d been torn open to the core all over again, only worse. That was the final end, I thought. The end.

  On Friday I got a text from Nasim. I’ve done it. I’m at Raj’s parents.

  Wel dun! I texted back. I’ll cum&CU on Mon eve.

  Then I drove out to the Satterthwaites. I walked into the barn. Only Jo there thank goodness, with my shale car in front of her.

  “I’m knackered,” I said aloud. I’d only just realised it. Knackered and a bit depressed. “Maybe we should skip this weekend.”

  “Eve, don’t be silly!” She said sharply. “I’ve negotiated for us to have the Beast and every
thing! We’ve got to stay over. It’s unusual to get back to back Mildenhall Stadium and Norfolk Arena.”

  She saw my face. “Come on now Eve, you haven’t been paying attention have you? You’ve been hurtling up the points table. You can’t qualify for the World Championship because we’ve been avoiding the qualifiers, but in some of the others such as the European you qualify by being in the top twenty in the points table. And the next five down become reserves, so even that’s a chance. A few more wins and you’ll be up there to qualify!”

  I stared at her. “Really?”

  “Yep,” she said firmly. “Pete’s only got a single Sunday evening one, so they’re taking the trailer.”

  “Ok,” I said reluctantly. I knew I sounded unenthusiastic, but I was genuinely touched. Given that she hated driving the Beast, I knew it was a big gesture of commitment from her.

  “I’ll do you a bargain,” Jo said. “You go in to Mum now and have a good rest and let her mollycoddle you all evening, and I’ll finish the car off. Ok?”

  I went in to find Sue in the kitchen. She was on her own. I sat down at the table. “Sue, I’m exhausted,” I said. “I don’t know how to carry on…”

  She turned round and took a careful look at me. “Ok,” she said. “Off you go to bed. Into your pyjamas and into bed and I’ll come up with some hot chocolate, and I’ll bring you your tea in bed. Off you go now!”

  I didn’t argue. I just felt relieved. I got into my pyjamas and into bed at a ridiculous seven in the evening with the sun still shining. She came up not only with hot chocolate, but with a hot water bottle. I clutched it gratefully. I didn’t know why I needed it, but I just felt cold.

  “I’ll come back later for a chat, but I’m just getting dinner now…”

  She came back with dinner about half an hour later. “I thought spaghetti would be too hard to eat in bed,” she said, “So I made it pasta shapes instead.” It was basically spag bol without the spag. She’d brought it up on a tray and she’d brought her own on a tray too, and sat on a chair beside the bed.

  “You’ve had an awful lot to deal with just now,” she said as we ate. “I’m not surprised you’ve had enough.”

  I looked a bit blankly at her.

  “You had that smash in the car with the fire, followed immediately by your Dad’s accident, followed by rape threats, followed by the Pete and Siân thing, followed by an accident and bad head injury, followed by the newspaper rape photos, followed by your close friend’s suicide attempt. That’s enough for any human being I’d say…”

  Put like that, laid out so bleakly, it did sound pretty bad. And if only the Pete thing wasn’t on the list, probably I’d have coped with it all ok. The Satterthwaites would have all closed in around me to protect me like they had when my Dad was missing, and I’d not have felt so alone. Even in the racing, without Pete and Paul, it felt like I was on my own.

  “It’s really sad back at the flat,” I said. “Nothing feels right. Kes is going home after and we’re going to have to find a new flatmate quickly or we can’t afford the rent, and Quinn’s so upset about Kes he’s just mooning around looking mournful. They’ve been proper best friends since primary school. Even though we heard yesterday that he isn’t going to die, it still feels like someone’s died. Like someone’s died but you can’t quite remember who…”

  She listened and nodded.

  “Oh and Quinn’s mother. She really seems like she might be dying now. Quinn’s just not able to process it, and I don’t know how to help…”

  She took my tray with the finished plate off me and put it to one side, then she got onto the bed with me, sitting up alongside me propped up by the pillows, but on top of the covers instead of under them. She put her arms round me and I rested my head on her shoulder.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone bring me dinner in bed,” I said with a slight laugh. This must be what it was like to have a mother, I thought. Why Kes was being whisked away home by his, so she could do this sort of thing for him.

  “So tell me about Pete,” she said.

  My eyes filled with tears. “I know it must sound awful. But I’m so used to Siân sleeping with all my boyfriends, I don’t care about that! It’s the fact he could sleep with anyone while still going out with me that destroyed me. I trusted him! He was the only person I’d ever properly trusted – ever.” And I meant that too, not just the only boy – the only person full stop. “And you know what? He told me that it was because he thought I was in love with Quinn! Which is even worse because that shows he doesn’t know me at all, and didn’t really trust me! I’d already explained that Quinn was kind of like family, so I didn’t fancy him, was just partly fond of and partly hated him! Like an annoying close cousin or something…”

  She squeezed my shoulder sympathetically.

  “And the awful thing is, that if he came to me and said, ‘let’s just pretend this never happened, and go back to how it was before – then I’d probably just say ‘yes’.”

  I knew in my heart that I was telling her that because I wanted her to pass it on. Just in case he was being a thick male who wanted that too but thought that it would be insulting to me to suggest it.

  She put both her arms around me and snuggled me down into the bed. “Let’s go to sleep shall we?” She suggested, and she lay there holding me tight until I was fast asleep. She must have gone at some point, but I didn’t notice.

  The weekend went ok. I had driven at both speedways before, but not this season. At Norfolk Arena I was placed third, first and second. Whenever I wasn’t driving I made a point of going round all the pits having a chat and a laugh with everyone.

  “You’ve never done that before,” Jo said when I returned from my first major foray.

  “No, I haven’t have I?” I agreed. “I’ve been thinking about why, and I’ve decided that it’s because I’ve felt like an outsider that needs to keep their head down to avoid getting targeted.”

  Jo thought about too. “I guess I don’t make the first move much either.”

  “Yeah, I noticed the difference when we were back with your father,” I said. “Everyone was approaching them, and then we’d get included. But when we first started turning up on our own, if anyone came over it was to ask where your father or Pete was, and even that’s stopped now because we’re known to be travelling alone.” I paused. “Obviously, I’m not counting the autograph hunters and media who approach us – in fact they’re a disadvantage – a jealousy factor. I have to not seem like a stuck up cow who thinks she’s too good for them cos she’s on TV.”

  “Hmmm.”

  “Jo, we’ve got to make it normal for female drivers and mechanics to be here on equal terms and not be a freak show.” I frowned. “Nor the disliked feminist ball breaking enemy either.”

  “Ok,” she said slowly. “I get your point.”

  “So will you get to it, working all your family connections at every track, and exercising your considerable charm?”

  She folded her arms and her eyes darted crossly at me. “Enough of your sarcasm you cheeky bitch.”

  “Yes, all those wonderful social skills of yours…” I teased.

  At Mildenhall I made a special effort, working my way round, talking about how I was looking forward to having another go at their track. I drove conservatively in my heat and finally came a cropper in lap ten when I was caught up in a shunting pile up which caused one car to end up with its front wheels perched up on my bonnet with the driver of the car smiling sheepishly in at me from a couple of feet away. I didn’t try to carry on, but pulled over onto the infield, got out and watched with careful attention how the rest of the race panned out.

  Jo looked a bit disappointed.

  “Tactics,” I told her. “I’ve got a better idea of the track now. I’ll get through on the Consolation.”

  We looked over the car. Cosmetic thankfully. Bit of a dented bonnet.

  I qualified in the Consolation as predicted, I came third in the Final and f
ifth in the Grand National.

  “What are you doing?” Jo complained.

  “Blimey, have I been winning so often recently that you’re not used to normal placings anymore?” I teased.

  “Yeah, probably,” Jo nearly cracked into a smile.

  “No point in getting injured or wrecking my car is there?” I said. “And it doesn’t hurt to soothe some egos does it? I’m getting the hang of the track for some time when it’s more important in the future.”

  “Oh well,” she said. “We’ll have to wait for the official grader, but I’ve been totting up, and I think you’re definitely into the reserve five, and might just scrape into twentieth. Although it depends what the other top twenty five have been up to this weekend of course. I don’t suppose they’re watching their backs for your approach up the table. Hopefully they’re sunning themselves on the beach instead…”

  Entwistle came and snaffled us all during lunch on Monday. “I think you’ll agree that the effect of the TV programme has been to bring wildly increased custom to the business.”

  “And some pretty wild customers too,” Steve quipped.

  Entwistle ignored him. “So with the increased workshop space that we built last year, I think it’s time to advertise for another member of staff.”

  “Thank God for that!” Dewhurst muttered.

  Entwistle ignored him too. “And with the vastly increased reach that we have since the TV series started, I am expecting a large field of applicants to choose from. However, bearing in mind that team unity is paramount here, and how well it worked when we recruited Jo by all meeting her first, I intend to do an initial sifting of applicants and invite the best candidates to spend a day working with you all first, and you’ll all have a final say in who gets appointed. You can discuss them amongst yourselves for a team feel, but if any one of you vetoes someone, then we won’t appoint them, because every member of this team is important, ok?”