The Hike (Book 1): Survivors

by Quentin Rogers

  Mackenzie joined Stuart in his tears by the end of the song. Neither of them were sobbing, but both were showing their sadness. Patrick picked up a shovel and gently threw the first few full shovels of dirt over the wrapped-up corpses. After a little while, the other two joined in and they had the grave filled back in just as the sprinkles turned to rain and the light began to fade. Patrick took a few large stones from the flower garden and placed them on top of the grave, about at the heads of each of the bodies.

  Chapter 14

  By the morning of the third day on the road, Patrick was beginning to wish that they hadn’t talked Stuart into coming along with them. If Stuart wasn’t lollygagging behind to look at something that had no bearing on what they were doing, then he was whining about the food or how fast they were going. Patrick was also sure that even though Stuart lived so close to the Black Hills and the Rocky Mountains, he had never been camping before. Setting up a tent, starting a fire, and many other mundane tasks seemed foreign to this kid.

  Stuart wasn’t sure that he’d made the right choice to come along either. Mackenzie was always nice enough, but most of the time she was pedaling away up in front and barely visible. All the while Patrick constantly nagged him to keep moving, quit looking around, or about anything else that seemed to be irritating him at the moment. Stuart worked up enough courage to decide that he was going to let the other two know that he was going to turn around and head back to the Dungeon. He thought that they should be close to Murdo, South Dakota by lunch time, and that he would break the news to them when they took their break.

  Then Stuart saw Mackenzie off her bike up ahead near an exit ramp drinking from her water bottle and using her binoculars. It looked as if she was waiting for the other two to catch up, so Stuart thought this might be the chance that he’d been waiting for to break the news to them. As he and Patrick approached, Stuart recognized what had caught Mackenzie’s attention.

  “It’s actually pretty cool,” Stuart said somewhat winded as he pulled up next to where Mackenzie was standing.

  “Is it just a tourist attraction?” Mackenzie asked. She was looking through her binoculars at what looked like an old west town just a few hundred yards from the interstate. There was a white church with a tall steeple, what looked like an old main street with buildings that had false fronts, and several wagons and windmills planted around the scene. A large billboard out near the gas station that sat in front of the attraction said Experience the West in front of the picture of a large buffalo.

  “Yeah”, Stuart replied. “But it’s still pretty cool. They have a train that goes around the park, and you can go in and check out the old buildings.”

  Patrick had stopped next to them and slid off his seat. He was not really paying attention to the conversation that the two kids were having, but instead had unfolded the paper map that he had found at the sheriff’s office and appeared to be studying it intently.

  “Do you want to go check it out?” Stuart asked Patrick.

  Patrick didn’t respond or seem to hear Stuart, so Mackenzie lightly kicked her dad’s front bicycle tire and said “Dad; can we go look at the buildings?”

  “Huh?” Patrick asked before registering what it was Mackenzie was asking for. “No. We can get another couple of hours in before lunch. If we keep it up today, I think that we might be able to make it to the Missouri River before it gets dark.”

  “C’mon Dad. I just want to take a closer look, it won’t take long,” Mackenzie pleaded without sounding too whiney. “Besides, the lines can’t be too long.”

  “Yeah, and I think that we all could restock on water and get a snack at the gas station there,” Stuart said before he hopped back on his seat and headed to the off ramp before Patrick could argue.

  Mackenzie giggled at the look her dad gave her, then stowed her binoculars and water bottle, and headed after Stuart. Patrick stared down the road in front of him and longed for his wife and son. This trek was taking a lot longer than he had anticipated at the onset, and he was getting more troubled by each passing day that they hadn’t seen another living thing. He took a deep breath, folded the map up, and started pedaling after the kids.

  There were a few cars out front of the gas station, so Patrick wasn’t surprised that there were a couple bodies in the store. After calling out to the kids and not getting an answer, Patrick figured that they must be out at the attraction and walked down the aisles seeing if there was anything of value. He picked up some aspirin from one aisle, a couple of candy bars and a handful of protein bars from another aisle, and then two large liter bottles of water from the warm cooler in the back. Patrick headed out a back door that led to the attraction with his arms full of supplies.

  Patrick thought the old town was neat. They had a livery stable, a blacksmith shop, an old-time church, a saloon, and just about anything else in the old west that you could imagine. Patrick thought that it was kind of ironic that Mackenzie wanted to come look at this place, because he was sure that if he would have suggested that they stop here on their road trip on their way out to the Bighorns that she would have threw a fit and made them both have a miserable time of it just out of spite.

  After walking around some and peering in some of the buildings, he heard voices coming from the saloon. He walked in through the saloon’s bat-wing doors and found the two sitting at a large round poker table that they had dragged over closer to a window to catch some light. The room was painted a deep bright red that was so bold it almost hurt your eyes to look at for very long. There were period paintings hanging from the walls, a piano in the corner, and a large bar off to the side with a mirror running the length of it. Patrick felt like he stepped into an old spaghetti western movie, and he liked it. Patrick started walking over to inspect the bar when the tone in his daughter’s voice stopped him.

  “That’s stupid!” Mackenzie half yelled at Stuart before taking a big swig of a pop from a bottle she must have found in the gas station store.

  Patrick sidled over and sat his arm load of supplies down on the table that the other two were sitting at. “What’s going on?” Patrick asked as he pulled up a chair and joined them.

  Neither one answered for a moment. Stuart stared down at his hands underneath the table and Mackenzie stared out the window with pursed lips. Patrick couldn’t help but think how much she looked like her mother when she was like that. Before taking another big swig from her pop, Mackenzie finally forced out “Stuart wants to go back to the Dungeon!”

  “Why’s that?” Patrick asked Stuart. Even though Patrick knew that he couldn’t let Stuart go back by himself, he felt a little joy and at ease at the thought of it.

  Stuart continued to look down at his hands when he said “I don’t know. It’s just not working out.” He lifted his eyes for a minute to the half-eaten single-serving bag of potato chips on the table in front of him and then back down at his hands.

  “What’s not working?” Patrick asked.

  Stuart leaned back in his chair and folded his hands across his stomach without looking up from them. “I just want to go back to the Dungeon,” he said.

  They all sat in silence for a few seconds. Patrick was contemplating how to influence this kid. Stuart was trying not to let anything penetrate his passive aggressive shield that he was so good at putting up. Mackenzie was taking drinks from her pop, staring out the window, and trying to not let that heat that she felt welling up inside her make the tears spill from her eyes.

  Although it rarely worked on his wife or his own kids, Patrick tried an old standby response to see if he could buy some more time to think about how to sway this teenage boy’s opinion. “If you don’t tell me what’s broke, I can’t fix it,” he said.

  After a few more seconds, Stuart surprisingly responded. “It’s just not working out,” he said fidgeting a little bit in his chair.

  “You gotta give me more than that kid,” Patrick replied. “What could make you want to go back to living in solitary, in a lifeless world
full of death and despair, instead of going with us to find civilization?”

  Stuart didn’t respond quickly enough, and Mackenzie blurted out “You Dad.” She turned and looked at Patrick with those familiar feelings of hurt and discontent emanating from her eyes. “He says that he’s tired and having a hard time keeping up; but mostly he’s tired of you nagging him,” she finished as the first large crocodile tear that she had been holding back spilled down her cheek.

  Patrick absorbed this information for a few seconds and knew that he couldn’t let this kid go back. He didn’t think that Stuart had told the whole truth to Mackenzie either. He had been riding the kid hard since they left together, but he hadn’t given him a hard-enough time to want to go and live and die by himself.

  “Stuart,” Patrick said catching himself slipping into dad-mode, but letting it happen anyways. “I know you’re tired. We are all tired and sore. I’m just trying to get us to make better time so that Mackenzie and I can get back to our family.”

  Stuart didn’t reply. He just sat back in his chair with his invisible shield up and continued to stare down at his hands. Stuart had been in plenty of these types of situations in the past, and he was certain that Patrick didn’t know where the chinks in his armor were. He knew that this would be a short battle.

  “It’s not just that Dad,” Mackenzie inserted. She was still trying to control her anger and fear, but tears were running down both cheeks now in a steady stream and her voice was rising with the tempo of her words getting faster. “He’s tired of you nagging him constantly about every little thing,” she said as she continued to stare out the dirty window. She felt that if she looked directly at her dad, she would lose all control and become unhinged.

  Patrick hung his head for a second collecting his thoughts. “You’re right Stuart,” Patrick said looking up at Stuart from under his brow. “I have been giving you a harder time than you deserve, and I’m sorry.”

  This statement and the honesty behind it surprised the others. They both looked at Patrick for a few seconds and waited for him to continue. It quickly became awkward and they both averted their eyes again.

  After a few more seconds, Stuart felt awkward enough that he had to respond. He felt a little bit of a hole growing in his impenetrable shield and he was becoming nervous. “It’s just not working out,” Stuart said. He wriggled in his chair for a second and then added “I just want to go back to the Dungeon.”

  “Listen Stuart,” Patrick started. “This is tough. I know that you lost your folks and everyone else that you know in this mess. Nobody should have to go through that, especially a young guy like yourself. Mackenzie and I are trying to get back to our family. We hold out hope that they made it, and I’m trying my best to get us back there as quickly as possible because I can hardly imagine what they are going through. We need to be there to help them. So when I’ve been nagging and complaining at you to go faster and keep moving it’s because I need to get back to them as soon as I can. But I can try to make it easier on you and cut you some slack.”

  The hole in Stuart’s shield was now large enough to crawl through and he felt himself becoming more uncomfortable. “I want you guys to get back to your family too,” he said as he looked over to Mackenzie whose face was now full on red with tears still flowing down her face. “That’s why you guys should keep going and I am going to turn around and head back to the Dungeon.”

  “Tell me the real reason why you want to go back Stuart,” Patrick said.

  With the hole in his shield, Stuart had to give him something. After a moment, he said in a quick blurt “It feels just like high school.” After another moment of silence, he said “And I’m sure if we find more people, it will be just like high school there.”

  “What do you mean kid?” Patrick asked bewildered.

  Stuart didn’t respond. Stuart didn’t know how to respond.

  “Is it because you’re different?” Mackenzie asked as she turned to look at him. Somehow the raw emotion on her face and the care that she exuded towards him consumed the rest of his shield.

  Stuart started nodding at first before feeling his upper lip quiver. He turned his gaze from Mackenzie and shot a piercing look to Patrick before half yelling “I’m gay!” His voice came across a lot louder than he had anticipated, but he held Patrick’s gaze with his as he continued. “I see the same disapproval in your eyes and the way you treat me, just like I did in every kid and teacher in high school. Just like – Just like every person in town.” Tears started to slowly flow down Stuart’s face now as well. His upper lip uncontrollably curled as he spoke. “Just like my parents,” he finished in a short burst.

  Stuart could feel his chest getting tight and knew that he couldn’t sit here with his shield down for much longer. Just as he was about to stand up and leave, he felt Mackenzie’s hand on his forearm. She was looking up at him through her tear-filled eyes with real compassion.

  Patrick was reeling and trying to strategize about how to continue this conversation so that it was the best for everyone, but he was coming up short. He couldn’t go against his convictions and pacify this boy with words that he knew weren’t true, but if he told him what he knew there was little chance that he would continue their journey with them. He decided that the only way was the truth.

  “Stuart,” Patrick started and then took a deep breath. “I am truly sorry that I made you feel belittled or unwelcome. That was not my intent at all, and for that I apologize.” Stuart was locked on his gaze now with Mackenzie still resting her hand on Stuart’s forearm. Stuart sniffled as his tears had evidently caused his snot to begin to run as well. “But I do believe that being gay is wrong,” Patrick forced out. He saw Stuart’s body tense and Mackenzie turned to look at him with an almost gaping jaw.

  “I know it is wrong, but I don’t think that it is your fault,” Patrick continued.

  “What do you mean Dad?” Mackenzie asked almost unbelieving that her dad would be saying what he was to this boy who wanted to leave anyways.

  “My faith says that it is wrong. It doesn’t mean that I hate you; wish you bad will; or think less of you. Maybe it’s a bad example, but I also know that abortion is wrong. The bible tells us that life starts at conception, not at nine weeks. I don’t hate the middle-aged career woman who had one after a one-night stand because it was an inconvenience to her life. And I don’t think any less of the teenage girl who had one because she was raped and impregnated by some monster in a back alley. But it is still wrong,” Patrick said. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes too, but he had more years of experience keeping them held back.

  He could see both Stuart and his daughter relax ever so slightly as they contemplated his thoughts and believed his honesty. With that, Patrick continued with his thoughts “I have a problem with alcohol.” He could see Mackenzie furrow her brow as though she doubted him and he chuckled a little bit. “That makes me happy to know that you doubt me on that one Darlin’. My whole family has had problems with alcohol or addiction in some way. Both sides of my family. My father, both grand-dads, a couple uncles, several aunts, and lots of cousins were either alcoholics or at some point had been addicted to drugs of some kind; and it killed them. And I started out the same way.”

  Patrick felt the tears in his eyes continue to swell, so he stopped for a moment and opened one of the large bottles of water that he had brought in and took a swig before continuing. “When I was a little younger than you, my dad died. I hadn’t known him for a few years since my mom and him had gotten divorced, but he was still very important to me yet. He had been the only male figure in my life that I really respected. When he died, I lost it. I got in trouble with the law, started drinking, thought about killing myself… Really dark days. I went out and partied. I got black out drunk almost every day for a couple of years. I did a lot of things in those days that I’m not proud of. A lot of things that I hope that you never find out about Mak.”

  With that, Patrick felt the first tear rol
l down his cheek. He wasn’t sure where this was going to end up, but he felt good about it being the truth. This isn’t what he had been hoping to have a heart to heart with Mackenzie about when he envisioned going on the backpacking trip with her, but he realized that this truth is what would have made a difference with her. He took another swig of water from the bottle before continuing. Both Mackenzie and Stuart were immersed in his story.

  “Stuart, my faith also says that getting drunk is wrong. And many of the things that I did in that condition were very wrong,” Patrick continued. He felt a pair of tears now streak his face and he no longer tried to hold them back.

  Patrick looked Mackenzie dead in the eyes and said “Your mother brought me some happiness during all of that. She was a light in the darkness of my life at that time that let me stop and think. In that time, I was saved.” Patrick changed his attention from Mackenzie to Stuart and continued “Jesus showed me that I was still loved. Even though I had done terrible things; and was still doing bad things; I was loved.”

  Patrick took another swig from the water bottle. All three of them were fully crying now. Patrick couldn’t help but think that if you would have told him before he left on their road trip that in a couple of weeks he would be setting around a saloon table with two teenagers and airing his dirty laundry while crying like babies with them; he wouldn’t have believed it.

  “I still struggle with alcohol and addiction today,” Patrick was concluding. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been drunk, but I still think about it every time I’m in a situation where the opportunity is there or it would be socially acceptable for me to do so. But it’s easier now. Every time I beat it back it gets a little easier the next time.”