On Tuesday afternoon, as I tried to focus on starting to research the ‘Hunter is a gambler’ story Lucy Lucky had given me but couldn’t because I was so horribly nervous about meeting Kent and apologizing to him, my cell rang.
“Hi, Aaron,” I said, surprised. When we’d parted after his apology we hadn’t said anything about getting together again, and I’d been fine with that. He’d been fun, but all of that was behind us now after what had happened at the party.
“Hey, gorgeous. Look, what are you up to tonight? I was thinking dinner and a movie and then maybe coffee at my place? What do you think?”
“I think it sounds like a date,” I said, even more surprised.
“Cool. What time will you pick me up?”
“I... okay, hold on. I didn’t mean it was a date, I meant it sounds like one. And I don’t understand.”
“What part?”
“The whole thing! Did you mean it to be a date?”
He cleared his throat. “Well, yeah. No?”
“No, definitely not.” What was wrong with him? “I’m not exactly feeling like starting things up with you again.”
“Starting things up-- um. I think we’re on totally different pages here. Okay. Never mind. Goodbye--”
“Wait!”
“What?”
“Why’d you say ‘starting things up’ like that?” A thought struck me. I couldn’t believe it’d be true but I let it out anyhow. “Did you think we were already together again?”
A long awkward silence fell, and I was about to ask if he was still there when he said, “That’s what I mean by ‘different pages’. I thought we were cool after I apologized. But apparently not.”
“We are cool on an ‘I’m not actively wanting to kill you’ level,” I said, stunned, “but not on an ‘I’m your girlfriend’ level. Not that you want a girlfriend anyhow.”
“Why does everyone keep saying that to me?”
“What?”
He cleared his throat again. “Never mind. Let’s put it this way. I do want a girlfriend. I have no idea how to be a boyfriend but I do want a girlfriend. But I think it’s not you. Right?”
I glanced at the calendar on my kitchen wall. Nope, not April Fool’s Day. “Aaron, you’re so right. I don’t hate you, but that’s it. I don’t think I could trust you again, not to be my... well, to be in a relationship,” I said, since I still couldn’t put ‘Aaron’ and ‘my boyfriend’ together in my mind. “If I said something to make you think we were together, I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too,” he said. “I guess I thought... I did apologize...”
“Well, yeah, but...” I trailed off as it hit me.
He had apologized, and I knew he’d meant it, but an apology, even a sincere one, wasn’t enough for me to completely get over such a huge betrayal.
And it wouldn’t be enough for Kent and MC and Liv to get over my betrayal either.
“Okay, I get it,” Aaron said when I didn’t finish my sentence because I couldn’t. “Maybe I’ll see you around?”
“Yeah, maybe,” I said, still shocked.
When we’d ended the call, I sat staring at my computer’s screen without really seeing it. I’d felt like I had done everything I needed to do just by getting Kent to talk to me. But no matter how much I apologized, it might not be enough to repair our relationship.
So what would I have to do?
*****
At first I didn’t think I’d get a chance to do anything.
“You’re sure you gave him the right time?” I asked Ron for at least the fifth time on Tuesday as we sat at the restaurant.
“And the right place. And I sent him a reminder,” Ron answered yet again, with no annoyance in his voice. “He knows. Whether he’ll show or not is up to him.”
Not up to me. And I hated that.
I reached for my margarita then pulled my hand back. “Better off sober,” I said, trying to make a joke, “if he does actually show.”
Ron nodded then leaned forward. “What are you going to say to him? That I didn’t already tell him for you, I mean?”
I shook my head slowly. “I’ve tried so hard to figure that out and I’ve got nothing. But I just have to talk to him. There has to be something I can do.”
Ron started to nod again, then his eyes flicked to the door behind me and he said, “You’re about to get your chance.”
I turned sharply in my seat and saw Kent standing in the doorway. Our eyes met, and he raised his chin and began walking toward us.
I turned back to Ron. “I’m terrified. I’m going to pass out.” I wasn’t being dramatic. I meant it. My fingers were all tingly and there didn’t seem to be any oxygen in the room.
He grabbed my hand and gave it a quick squeeze. “You won’t. I’m here.”
I squeezed him back, drawing strength from his touch, then released him as Kent said, “Am I interrupting?”
Ron moved further into the booth so his brother could sit beside him. “Not at all. We’ve been waiting for you.”
Kent leaned back. “Okay. Well, I’m here.”
Yes, and not even close to ready to listen from the expression on his face. I looked back and forth between the two men, Kent with his jaw set and his eyes cold and Ron with his hope for me clear and so sweet. I had to try. I couldn’t ruin their relationship too.
I cleared my throat. “Kent, thank you for coming. Can I buy you a drink?”
He shook his head. “I’m fine. Talk.”
I took a breath to do just that and he said, “Oh, and you should know MC knows I’m here. I won’t ever lie to her.”
“She’s okay with it?”
Kent gave Ron a sideways glance, which was enough of an answer even before he said, “She’s not even close to okay with it. Or with me, at the moment. But I wouldn’t do it without telling her.” To me, he added, “And she knows I talked to you in the lobby on Sunday.”
I nodded. “Okay. Good.”
My mind was swirling with words and I couldn’t make them come together into anything that would make sense, and he said, “Look, Summer, come on. Are you talking or not?”
The aggravation in his voice, a tone I didn’t think he’d ever used with me before, spurred me into action. “I am. I was trying to-- okay, forget it. I’ll just talk. I’ve told you I’m sorry so many times already but I have to say it again. I really am. I was trying to do the right thing but I did everything wrong. And I regret that more than I could ever tell you.”
“Try,” Kent said, his face unreadable.
I did try. I told him how I hadn’t known they wouldn’t like having the wedding location shared and that I had shared it to keep everything else private. I explained that when I’d found out they had turned down the million dollars I had then tried to get Simon to agree not to photograph or film anything. “And when that didn’t work,” I said, “I did everything I could to make a deal with him to not invade your privacy.”
“You did?” Kent said coolly. “Like what? What did you do?”
I had to swallow hard. I could not tell him, and Ron, what I’d done. “I offered to film other things, to write articles for him, to give him anything he wanted...” My voice cracked on ‘anything’, and I cleared my throat and went on quickly with, “But nothing worked. He lied to me. And I thought it was going to be okay, but it wasn’t.”
“No, I know that. It definitely wasn’t okay.”
Kent’s expression still wasn’t giving anything away so I didn’t know where we stood, but I had to keep going. “And then the wedding happened, and everything fell apart, and I am so incredibly sorry about that. About how it affected you, and MC and Liv, and--”
“Do you know how it affected them?”
This was the first actual interest he’d shown in the discussion, but I didn’t like the direction we were going. “Not exactly,” I said. “I assume they’re not happy but--”
“Almost ruined their friendship,” Kent said. “Liv had been getting to be your f
riend, or at least she thought she was, and she tried to defend you afterward. MC nearly cut her off completely. I managed to talk her out of that but they’re still not the same. And Liv is now with MC in totally not wanting anything to do with you, so neither of them is thrilled with me for being here.”
My throat tightened. “I can understand that,” I said. “And I deserve it.”
He nodded once. “I’m afraid you do. And whatever you tried to stop Simon was clearly not good enough.”
Tears rose so fast I couldn’t control them. He didn’t know what I’d done, of course, but for him of all people to say it hadn’t been good enough...
I swiped hard at my eyes and sucked down some of my drink and managed to get myself calm enough to say, “I know. And I am sorry.”
Ron folded his arms. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to. Kent turned to him. “I know you think I’m being too harsh but honestly, she wrecked my wedding and has seriously messed with my marriage and with Liv and MC’s friendship. And yours with all of us too, since nobody understood why you were talking to her.”
Ron started to speak but Kent cut him off. “I do now, though.”
My mouth fell open. “Really?”
Kent nodded. His eyes were sad, but for the first time I saw a hint of sympathy in them. “You mean everything you’re saying, I think. Yeah, you did it wrong, and you know that. But I don’t feel like you did it for your career, or-- for other reasons.”
I remembered they’d all thought I’d done it to sabotage his wedding because I still wanted him. “No other reasons. I truly was trying to help.” Honesty, though, made me add, “It did help my career, though. I can’t lie to you. I feel bad about that, but it did.”
Kent nodded slowly. “I know, and that makes me trust you more that you’d say that.” He leaned forward, elbows on the table. “Look. Liv and MC are... well, they’re like two brick walls. But I’ll try. And for what it’s worth, I believe you.”
“It’s worth a lot,” I whispered.
“Okay.” He pushed to his feet. “Well, I’ll see you later. Have a good dinner.” He gave me a half-smile. “If you can, with this guy.”
His being willing to joke with me made my eyes fill with tears again but I smiled and said, “I’ll try.”
Kent left, and I expected Ron to be happy with how our talk had gone. Instead, he studied me, his eyes cool and almost too calm, and said, “What exactly did you do to convince Simon?”
My stomach twisted. “Told you,” I said. “Lots of things.”
“Something clicked,” he said slowly, “just now. I think you did try lots of things but I think one of those things really hurt you. Am I right?”
My throat clenched so much I couldn’t talk but the tear that escaped gave him his answer. He reached out and took my hand. “Summer, it might help to tell me,” he said, his eyes still intent on my face. “Do you think?”
The guilt and disgust of what I’d done rose in me again and I nodded as I swiped away the tear. Yeah, it probably would. Talking things out always made me feel better.
But I couldn’t find the words.
He waited, holding my hand, until I said, “Well, he wanted me to ‘sweeten the deal’. That’s how he put it.”
Ron started to nod, then froze. “He wanted to... be your second, let’s say?”
“He didn’t know he would only be the second, of course, but yeah.”
His grip tightened. “You didn’t, did you? It’s not worth that.”
I stared at him. “Kent’s wedding, and their privacy, isn’t worth that?”
“Of course not,” he said, sounding surprised I was asking. “That means so much to you and-- did you?”
I shook my head, and seeing the horror fade from his face and be replaced by happiness and relief took my breath away at how much he cared about me. When I could speak again I said, “But I did... well... let’s say you might not have wanted to hold my hand that day. At least not without sanitizing it first.”
Ron laid his free hand over our joined hands. “You... did that... and he still filmed the wedding?”
“Claimed I’d lied so the deal was off.”
“But he should never have made the deal,” Ron snapped, making me jerk away from his fury. His hands tightened on mine again, almost painfully. “Sorry,” he said. “But I hate that guy.”
“Feeling’s mutual. But if I don’t do what he wants nobody else will hire me either,” I said, and explained how even Peter had been keeping his distance.
When I finished, Ron said, “Well, there’s got to be a way out. Can’t we expose him or something?”
“He’d just play the ‘consenting adults’ card, I figure,” I said, loving his use of the word ‘we’. “And to be honest that’s in the past now. I’m more worried about Kent and Liv and MC.”
Ron didn’t look convinced but he nodded. “Kent’ll come around eventually, I think, but the other two? We might need to do something huge to change their minds.”
Not ‘we’, this time. Just me. I would have to do something huge. Something to show how much I understood what I’d done to them. I’d violated their privacy. How could I show them how sorry I was?
Chapter Forty-One
Ron was quiet for a bit after finding out what I’d done with Simon, and I was afraid I’d disgusted him. If it had been anyone else, or about anything else, I’d have made a joke about “do you hate me now?” But I couldn’t, because I was afraid of the answer.
Eventually, though, I couldn’t stand his distance any longer and I said, “Do we need to talk about this more?”
He turned sharply to me. “Do you want to?”
“I didn’t want to talk about it the first time,” I said, but realized as I spoke that it wasn’t true. “Actually, I did. I’ve hated carrying it around with me. I just wish it didn’t happen so I didn’t have to carry it at all.”
“Yeah.” He heaved a huge sigh. “Me too.”
“It... changes...” I stopped. “No, never mind. I guess it doesn’t change anything.” It wasn’t what I’d done that had changed Ron’s feelings for me. How I’d acted before the wedding had done that. But either way his feelings had changed, and that was what really hurt.
Ron tipped his head to one side to study me, then his eyes widened and he leaned forward. “I hate that it happened because it’s not right that you should be forced into doing that. And I don’t buy that ‘consenting adult’ crap. He had you trapped and he knew it. Sure, you could have refused but you knew what would happen. So in my mind you were forced. And I hate that.”
Before I could respond to this, he reached out and took my hand. “But it doesn’t change anything about... how I feel about you.”
“No, because I did that myself.”
His hold on me tightened. “Actually, no.”
I looked into his eyes, and my mood soared as sparks leaped between us. “No?”
He shook his head without breaking our eye contact. “No. I... look, I said some things to you the night of the wedding rehearsal. Remember?”
I nodded, remembering him asking me to be his girlfriend after we kissed. And me saying yes.
“And I do still feel that way but...” He paused, clearly looking for words, while I wished I’d been able to enjoy knowing his feelings hadn’t changed before he launched into the ‘but’ part.
“But,” he said eventually, “while everything is so messed up with the others, we can’t be... what we talked about. Honestly, it’s weird enough being your friend when my brother can’t stay in the same room with you more than ten minutes and his wife can’t even see you that long. That probably makes me a coward, that I won’t... do what I want to anyhow, but I can’t. With the divorce coming up, Kent and I need to stick--”
“What divorce?” I burst out, horror filling me. “They’re splitting up?”
He grimaced. “Yeah. Since he cheated they haven’t been able to get things back together and--”
“Kent cheated?�
��
Ron shushed me as heads across the restaurant turned in our direction. “What? No, of course not. Dad. Remember?”
I slumped back into my seat. I hadn’t realized I’d jerked my hand away from his and jumped to my feet in my shock. “I thought I’d lost my mind. Yes, I remember that. I thought you meant Kent and MC were splitting.”
Ron gave me a small smile. “He’d probably be more likely to forgive you if that happened. I know my brother, and he wants to forgive you, but when she doesn’t he can’t either.”
Something cold and dark settled into the depths of my stomach. I was going to have to do something massive to show MC exactly how sorry I was, and I didn’t know if I had the nerve.
“So to be clear,” Ron said, his smile a little larger, “my parents are divorcing. Kent and MC are staying together. But it’s awkward for us all, and adding awkwardness right now just doesn’t seem right. Especially when you and me and Kent and MC couldn’t even go for coffee together or something.” His smile faded. “I know I’m a coward, as I hear myself talk, but I just can’t--”
“You’re not,” I said, shaking my head for emphasis. “Not at all. I get it.” My eyes filled with tears, though, and I looked down at my plate so he wouldn’t see. I could have had him. If I hadn’t screwed everything up, Ron and I would be together right now.
He took my hand again, his touch gentle and his fingers warm against my skin. “I’m sorry. So sorry.”
“Me too,” I mumbled, trying to get myself under control.
After a few seconds he said, “And you... about me?”
I looked up, confused, but the embarrassed hope on his face told me what he meant. “Do I still feel the way I did after the rehearsal dinner? Definitely. No question.”
His cheeks went red, but his smile was the sweetest thing I’d ever seen.
As I told myself that I would do whatever I had to do to make this work, no matter how much it hurt, my phone rang. I glanced, then winced. “It’s Simon.”
“Oh, please, let me talk to him.”
I laughed. “No, and I’m not doing it either. I know what he wants to say anyhow. He’s mad at me.”
“On what possible grounds?”
Fifteen Minutes of Summer Page 21
