Choices

by Michelle MacQueen

  Michaela’s phone rang, pulling her out of her thoughts.

  “Shit, it’s Mom.” She held it up for him to see the screen.

  “I’m outta here.” Chris hopped over the back of the couch before she could stop him. She answered the phone as she heard the shower starting.

  “Hi, Mom.” Michaela stood and started to pace.

  “Michaela, I got the most disturbing call today. My friend in the admissions office at Columbia said you deferred your admission. Tell me what happened and I can call them to clear up this mistake.”

  “It’s not a mistake.” She sighed. “I’m not going, at least not right now.”

  “Don’t be stupid.”

  “I want some experience in a law office first, so I’m going to work for a year at Chris’s firm.” God, that even sounded lame to her.

  “Michaela, I know that you and Ethan hit a snag in your relationship, but that’s no reason to--”

  “A snag? Mom, we broke up.”

  “Of course you didn’t,” she said. “You’ll fix things. Ethan’s such a nice young man.”

  “Mom, it’s over.” She couldn’t keep the anger out of her voice. “I’m not going to law school right now, and I’m not marrying Ethan. If that messes up your plans, well, that sucks. But it’s my life. I’ll tell Chris you said hello. Bye, Mom.” She hit End and threw her phone onto the couch before picking up a pillow and screaming into it.

  Chris appeared, towel wrapped around his waist, chuckling. Michaela threw the pillow at him and flopped back onto the couch.

  Chris came back out once he was fully dressed, phone glued to his ear. Michaela was going to make a joke about it probably being one of his many men he was talking to, but then she saw his face and stopped. He’d gone white. His lips were set in a tense line as he listened and his eyes were wide.

  “Okay,” he said darkly. “We’ll be there.”

  Chapter Four

  “It’s not as bad as it looks.” Jason stared into Michaela’s wide eyes.

  “It’s all my fault.” She buried her face in her hands, unable to look at him any longer. Jason could barely move without wincing in pain. His ribs were bruised, but the doctor said none of them were broken. He also said Jason was lucky his attackers stopped when they did. Elijah and Maggie had stepped out for some air when they heard the sounds of the fight. They found Jason face down in the alley.

  “No,” Jason wheezed, “it’s not.”

  “If you hadn’t hit that guy in your bar ...”

  “He deserved it.” Jason looked up from where he was laying on the couch and Michaela finally met his gaze again. She reached out and gently ran her fingers over the nasty purplish bruise stretching down the side of his face.

  “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

  “It’ll just give me some extra street cred.” He grinned. “Not that I need any more than I already have.”

  “You have street cred?” Michaela teased, finally cracking a smile.

  “Yeah ... well ...” Jason said. “No.” He laughed, and that made him wince in pain.

  Chris and Maggie showed up a few minutes later with food, and Michaela was glad for the distraction. Jason could say it wasn’t her fault as much as he wanted to, but she knew the truth. She’d been drunk, and he’d had to save her. She could barely meet his eyes as she bit into her sandwich.

  “Elijah is taking care of things at the bar right now,” Maggie informed them. “Then Aaron can handle it for the rest of the week.”

  “No way,” Jason said. “Aaron can just help me.”

  “Doctor’s orders.” Maggie stared at Jason stubbornly. “You are supposed to take it easy for the week.”

  “Bullshit.” Jason stared right back.

  “Jason Marks, if you leave this apartment, you’ll have me to answer to. Aaron is your assistant manager. He knows what will happen if he lets you go back to work.”

  “He works for ME!”

  “Oh, dear, dear Jason.” She leaned forward and patted the unbruised side of his face. “But I am so much scarier than you.” She got up and threw her sandwich wrapper in the trash. “Aaron will do as I say. Now, I have papers to grade. I’ll see you later.”

  They all stared after her in shock.

  “She’s a teacher?” Michaela asked incredulously.

  “First grade, if you can believe it.” Jason’s voice was much more sullen than before.

  “Is she your girlfriend or something?” she asked. Chris snorted beside her.

  “Cousin,” Jason answered. “But more like a sister.”

  “Oh.”

  “Hey man, Mic and I have to go,” Chris said. “I have an early meeting tomorrow.”

  “I guess I should sleep or Warden Maggie might come back and make me.” Jason sighed and struggled to stand.

  “Well, hey,” Michaela began, “my job doesn’t start for a few days so I’ll come back tomorrow and keep you company.” The thought of that made her excited, and she didn’t know why.

  “Sounds like a plan.” Jason was smiling again, a fact that was not lost on Michaela as they walked out the door and headed home.

  “Come in,” Jason yelled from inside. Michaela pushed open the door and found Jason lounging on the couch, laptop perched on his legs and his forehead strained.

  “Whatever you are doing does not look like fun,” she said.

  “It’s not.” He shut his laptop. “I figured if I’m going to be banned from setting foot in the bar, I might as well get some stuff done that I’ve been putting off. I was going over the books.”

  “Well, I brought bagels.” She held up the small white paper bag and sat down across from him. “I’ve got blueberry, plain, and cinnamon crunch.”

  “I’ll take the plain, thanks.”

  “Seriously?” She stared at him. “I bring a cinnamon crunch bagel into your apartment and you choose plain?”

  “Fine, then I’ll have cinnamon crunch.”

  “Not a chance, that one’s mine.”

  “What?” He laughed. “You just told me I should have that one.”

  “No.” She smirked. “I said you should want to have it, not that you should have it. You should always want the best even if someone else has already claimed it.”

  “What if I think that plain is the best?”

  “Then you’re just weird.” She grinned as she took a bite and glanced at Jason. He didn’t look any better than the day before, but she hadn’t really expected him to.

  “I never really thanked you,” Michaela said when she was done eating.

  “For what?”

  “For getting me home the other night.”

  “Hey.” He forced her to meet his gaze. “We all have nights like that.”

  “I haven’t in a long time. I just... haven’t been myself lately.” She stopped and looked at the ground in silence for a few moments.

  “You don’t have to tell me,” Jason finally said. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “But you can if you want to,” he finished quickly.

  She nodded and wiped the back of her hand across her face. I will not cry, she told herself.

  Not wanting to talk about it, Michaela got up to throw away her trash when she noticed a framed picture hanging in the hall.

  “Is this signature real?” she asked, leaning forward to get a better look. Before her was a lithograph of the 1997-1998 New York Rangers.

  “Yeah, paid a fortune for it too,” Jason got up from the couch and hobbled toward her.

  “Why would you pay so much?” she asked. “Gretzky’s signatures aren’t really worth that much because they’re everywhere.”

  “I know that now,” Jason huffed. “But I was in high school when I bought this and didn’t know a damn thing.”

  “I could’ve told you that in high school.” She smirked. “I also could’ve told you the name of every player on the Rangers and their relevant stats. I knew who the prospects were and what players in the league the teams should target for a trade.
Most people didn’t agree with me, but then, most people were wrong.”

  “Pretty confident in yourself.”

  “I know my hockey.” She shrugged. It was true. Michaela had always been a pretty quiet girl - except when it came to hockey. She was confident in what she knew and debates with her could get heated.

  “I see that.” He chuckled softly.

  “Are you laughing at me?” She punched him lightly on the arm and then stopped herself when his face scrunched up in pain. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” She put a hand on his back and tried to lead him to the couch, but he waved her away.

  “I’m fine,” he grunted. “Come on. NBC is replaying last year’s playoff games in the lead-up to training camp. Rangers round two, game seven is on.”

  “That was a sweet game,” she said when she was sure he was okay. “I was there.”

  They sat next to each other on the couch and both grinned when they heard the color commentator. “It’s been a long off-season,” Jason said.

  “God yes. I’m dying for the season to start.” She looked sideways at him and then back to the TV. “Can I tell you something and not have you hate me or call me a traitor?”

  “As long as you aren’t about to tell me you’re also a Penguins fan, or worse, a Flyers fan.”

  “Not quite as bad as that.” She bit her lip. “I’m rooting for the Jackets this year.”

  “Columbus? Why?”

  “My friend, Josh, is in their system and will probably get called up pretty early on.” She grinned when she thought of Josh playing in the NHL.

  “Josh Walker?” Jason asked. “He’s a great prospect. I was at the draft last year when they chose him. I was hoping he’d fall to the Rangers a few picks back.”

  “You and me both,” she agreed. “But he really loves the Jackets, so I do too.”

  “They’re going to be really good this year.”

  “I know! I’m so excited to see them.”

  “Don’t you even try to convert me, though.” Jason reached over and gave Michaela a small shove, but she only grinned at him mischievously and focused on the game on TV. “I’m a loyal fan.”

  “You’re not going to make me watch that crap, are you?” Maggie asked, slamming the front door behind her and waking Jason from his nap.

  “What?” he asked groggily.

  “How can you even follow that?” Maggie plopped herself down in a chair and pointed to the TV where another hockey rerun was playing itself out. “I can’t even see the puck.”

  Jason groaned and aimed the remote at the screen, turning it off. “Hey Mags.”

  “What’s up, cuz?”

  “Just trying to sleep,” he answered, closing his eyes again.

  “You can sleep when you’re dead,” she snapped.

  “And pray that that is soon.” Jason was in a lot of pain, a fact he’d hidden while Michaela was over. She’d stayed most of the day before leaving with a promise to return. He didn’t dare hide how he was feeling to Maggie. She’d see right through him.

  “You stop that right now.” Maggie’s voice was harsh, but Jason knew she only talked to him like that because she cared. Maggie had a tough going, and Jason was always the one who was there for her. She married young, but it didn’t last. She decided she couldn’t live in a house with a man whose anger hung heavy in the air at all times. He hadn’t hit her, but his drinking had gotten out of control and she thought it was only a matter of time. She came out of that marriage with her self-esteem in tatters and her confidence lost. Elijah had helped her and, when she was with him, she had found some of what was missing.

  “Sorry, Mags.” He sighed. “I’m just tired.”

  “Did you take your pain meds?” she asked.

  “Yes, Mom.”

  She just grinned at him and went about picking the place up. “What’d you do today?”

  “Michaela was here.”

  “Oh?” Her voice rose an octave, and she glanced back over her shoulder.

  “Don’t look at me like that.”

  “What? Michaela’s cute,” she said.

  “She’s also Chris’s sister, and I’d look a hell of a lot worse than I do now if I went there.”

  Maggie was always getting on his case because he never went on dates. He spent most nights working and hardly ever met any women that interested him. He wanted more than just a woman in his bed. Did that make him less of a man? Did he care?

  “Chris would get over it,” Maggie said.

  “Michaela is a mess, Mags. She’s trying to get over some douche bag that hurt her pretty badly.”

  “Whatever you say, cousin.” Maggie looked at him for a long moment and then shifted her eyes away. “Does your reluctance have anything to do with Briahna?”

  “That was a long time ago. I’m over it, so drop it.”

  She held her hands in the air and went back to clearing the dirty dishes from the coffee table. Jason didn’t believe she’d let the subject drop. He’d hear about it again.

  Maggie was the only family member Jason had regular contact with. His parents died when he was young and he only has pieces of his memories of them. He’d grown up in the system. Occasionally, he’d hear from his foster brother, usually when he needed money. His foster parents turned him out when he was eighteen and they could no longer collect money from the state. So, he had Maggie. He’d had Briahna for a few years, but she’d decided he wasn’t enough. She left him, and the city, in search of bigger and better things.

  “You sleep,” Maggie commanded. “And I’ll take care of everything else here.” He did as she said, as always.

  “Don’t hog the popcorn.” Michaela reached across Jason for the bowl.

  “Wouldn’t dream of it.” He laughed. They were watching the movie Miracle. Michaela hadn’t been able to return until late in the day so the sounds of Jason’s club were drifting up towards them, providing a background to the movie.

  “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be down at the bar with Chris and Elijah?” he asked her. He didn’t want her to go, but he’d understand.

  “Yes,” she stated simply. “Now be quiet. This is a good part.”

  “Yes ma’am.” He grinned.

  When the movie was over, Jason got up and went to the kitchen.

  “You want a beer?” he called back.

  “No. I’ve sworn off all alcohol after the other night - at least for a while.”

  “Good idea.” He grinned. “Water?”

  “Please.” Michaela liked that Jason laughed at her. She grew up in a world where everyone was so worried about avoiding social faux pas. They’d never laugh at someone, at least to their face. There was a serious lack of fun and jokes in that world.

  “What’s on your mind?” Jason asked, holding out a glass. Michaela hadn’t seen him come back. She realized she’d been staring off into nothing. She’d been thinking about Ethan, but only in relation to that world he’d always be connected to. She hadn’t thought about him in days, and his image no longer made her want to hide away and cry. She hadn’t known that until that very moment.

  “It’s just...” she stopped. Michaela still barely knew Jason, but that was the first time she felt like she could talk about it without breaking down.

  “You can tell me,” Jason said. “I’m a good listener.”

  “I haven’t even talked to my brother about any of this. I mean, he knows what happened, but we haven’t talked about it.”

  Jason didn’t say anything as he waited for her to continue. Michaela studied Jason for a moment. His bruised yet still handsome face was open and understanding. His movements were still laced with small amounts of pain, but he was getting much better. She scanned her eyes over the strong arms that had held her together when everything else seemed to be falling apart. Did she owe him a reason for that? She breathed in deep before talking.

  “A couple of days before I met you, my boyfriend of seven years proposed.”

  His eyebrows shot up in surprise and she
knew exactly what he was thinking. Why the hell would you say no after seven years? He didn’t say it, though.

  “You have to understand something about where I come from,” she went on. “My family is kind of a big deal in Connecticut. My dad’s a lawyer, but it’s more than that. My mother’s family is very old money, and there are expectations that come with that. Ethan’s family is just like mine. I would’ve been expected to stay at home, have kids, plan parties, and go to charity events. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”

  “Then why’d you date him for so long if that isn’t what you wanted?” Jason asked carefully.

  “I loved him.” She shrugged. “I probably always will. I thought I’d have time to make my own life before we got engaged. But then he proposed to me in front of everyone we knew. Let’s just say, he wasn’t happy. Chris ended up punching him.”

  Jason started to laugh uncontrollably. “I’ve never even seen Chris get angry.” He struggled to catch his breath.

  Michaela started laughing too when she pictured it. “Ethan deserved it.”

  “What is it about you that makes nonviolent people throw punches?”

  “I don’t know.” She leaned back into the couch. “Now that I’ve bared my soul to you, can I ask you a question?”

  “Shoot.”

  “Chris told me you never date.”

  “Is there a question in there?” There was a hint of amusement in his voice.

  “He also said there are a lot of girls who’d be happy to change that. I don’t understand. I mean, you’re good looking and nice. Why don’t you go out more?” There, she asked. It was out. The question that had been bugging her since Chris told her all of that.

  Jason didn’t answer as he considered her words.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry,” Michaela said after a while.

  “It’s okay.” Jason scratched his chin. “I have an ex too. It took me a long time to pick up the pieces of my life when she left. The bar was just getting off the ground so I threw myself into that, and I guess I haven’t really come up for air.” He stopped and looked at her for a long moment, considering his next words. “It’s more than that, though. I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.” He looked away.