“He won’t.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I can’t imagine there’s a man on this earth that would laugh at the thought of getting in your pants. You’re hot, Lake. Hotter than hot. Our Mark Knox lookalike will be falling over himself to accept your offer and that’s a guarantee.”
“I think you should have your eyes checked.” I groan.
“Oh I can see just fine, honey. And so can you. You know you’re smokin’ and you know if you want Thad you can have him. You knew that well before last night.”
“That’s not true.”
“Really?” she questions and I swear I can see her as if she’s standing right in front of me. Hand on her hip, disbelieving look on her pretty face.
“Really,” I insist. “He’s done a pretty good job of making me feel like he’s not interested.”
“And yet he admitted last night that he wanted you.”
“And then refused to fuck me,” I remind her. “He probably just felt awkward and said what he thought I wanted to hear.”
“Or he meant what he said and didn’t want to take advantage of you.”
“You haven’t met him, Whit. He doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who would decline the offer to sleep with someone because she’s had a little too much to drink.”
“A little too much? Based on how sick you got, I’d say you had more than a little too much.” She laughs.
“Whatever.” I groan, rolling my eyes.
“Besides, a man doesn’t kiss a woman the way you say he kissed you unless he’s interested. Look, you can either continue to obsess over how embarrassed you are, or you can pull up your big girl panties and woman up. Then let him take said panties off with his teeth.”
“You’re ridiculous.” I laugh.
“Ridiculous or not, it’s clear this guy is under your skin. I’ve never seen you so wound up over a man before. Until you let yourself explore it a little more you’re going to continue to drive yourself crazy.”
“I don’t know what it is about him, Whit. I don’t even really know him, but god... He makes me feel a certain way and I just can’t shake it.”
“Which is why you need to screw him at least once. See if the attraction is more or just on the surface.”
“You really don’t think this is a bad idea?”
“Since when is getting your kicks off with a hot guy a bad idea? At least with Thad you don’t have to worry about the future. You can have your fun and walk away.”
“That’s true.” I sigh, not really needing her reassurance as much as I let on. I already know what I want.
I meant what I said to Thad last night. It’s something I’ve been thinking about more and more over the past few days. I can’t get him out of my head on my own. Maybe with his help I can fuck him out.
“If you’re that worried about how he’ll react just behave as if nothing happened and let him be the one to broach the subject.”
“That’s not a horrible idea,” I admit. “But I’m pretty sure I’m gonna blush beet red the moment I see him.”
“You’re an actress, aren’t you?” Whit reminds me. “You have the ability to hide how you’re feeling. I’ve seen it firsthand. Just give him one of your world class performances and he’ll not suspect for even one minute that you feel any shame for your behavior last night. Hell, it will probably make him want you that much more.”
“You know what? You’re right,” I say, finally seeing things from Whitney’s perspective. “I’m making way too much of this anyway. Who cares if I got drunk and acted a little crazy? I’m proposing sex without strings. Either he’s in or he isn’t.”
“There she is.” Whit chuckles. “Welcome back.”
“Yeah. Yeah.” I laugh.
“Now go get that man. Call me when the deed is done.”
“You’ll be the first to know,” I promise. “Love you, Whit.”
“Love you too.”
I end the call and toss my cell into the passenger seat of my car. Even though I still feel uncertain and a bit unsure of myself, Whitney is right. I need to do it and get it out of my system. Maybe then I can refocus on why I’m really here and work to get back to L.A. as quickly as possible.
Thad may have turned me down last night, but even in my drunken state I could tell he wanted me. I’ve spent the better part of the day making excuses because if I’m being honest I’m scared of how that makes me feel.
Regardless, I’ve never been one to shy away from what I want and I’m sure as hell not about to start now.
Chapter Twelve
This cannot be happening. It’s all I can think as I watch Thad pull the truck off the side of the road, bringing it to a stop right behind my Civic that’s currently billowing smoke from below the hood.
I knew my time with her was limited, but I wasn’t anticipating that she’d crap out on me today of all days. Knowing cars the way I do, I took one look under the hood and knew there was no way I was driving her anywhere.
I called my parents’ house, thanking the heavens that I was close enough to town to still have a semblance of cell service. My mom said she’d send dad. Clearly my father decided he’d send Thad in his place.
Freaking great.
I try to act completely unaffected as he hops out of the truck and heads toward me, his toned body more visible today through the thin material of his gray t-shirt. I pull my bottom lip into my mouth and clamp down to keep from showing him how much just the sight of him affects me.
God, is it possible he’s gotten even more handsome in the last twenty-four hours?
“Hey,” he says, stopping about a foot from where I’m standing, having closed the distance between us in just three long strides.
“Hey.” I shove my phone in my back pocket. “Tow truck is on its way. We don’t have to wait,” I tell him, avoiding his gaze.
“You want me to take a look? See if I can figure out what’s going on?”
“No, I already did. She’s not going anywhere on her own today.”
“She?” The smile in his voice pulls my eyes to his, causing my stomach to whoosh.
“Karen.” I smile.
“Your car’s name is Karen?” He arches a brow.
“The previous owner named her. She shared the information with me when I bought her. I figured a car is kind of like a pet. You wouldn’t rename a dog, would you?”
“I guess not. Then again, a dog is a living creature that actually adjusts to its name. A car? Well, I think that goes without saying.” He chuckles.
“Whatever.” I shake my head and smile. “Are you going to drive me home or stand here making fun of me and the name of my car?”
“My apologies.” He grins, gesturing toward the truck. “After you.”
“You’re really playing this gentleman thing up now, aren’t you?” I smart, knowing he gets my reference in regards to last night.
“Don’t get used to it. It doesn’t happen that often,” he tells me, waiting until I’m securely in the passenger seat before climbing into the cab of the truck.
“Good to know.” I hold back the urge to ask him if that means he won’t turn me down again. “I thought my dad was picking me up.”
“Him and Ben were trying to finish the fence patching near the pond. I told him I could come get you so they could keep working.”
“I see.” I nod, turning my gaze out the window.
“How are you feeling today?” he asks, shifting the truck into gear before pulling it back out onto the road.
“Fine.”
“That’s good. When you didn’t come down for breakfast I worried you were feeling pretty rough.”
“Yeah. It wasn’t a great morning for me,” I admit. “Sorry about last night.” I chance a look his way to find his gaze locked on the road. “Taking care of a puking drunk was probably not how you envisioned your night going.”
“Trust me, I can think of a lot of ways my night could have been much worse.” His eyes find mi
ne for a brief moment before darting back to the road. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”
“I’m sorry?” I question, playing dumb to his accusation even though I know it’s the truth.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” he repeats, a small smile playing on his lips.
“No I haven’t,” I insist, fighting to keep my voice light and casual.
“That why you took off this morning when you were supposed to help me rewire the chicken coup.”
Shit. In my attempt to avoid Thad I forgot I had agreed to help him, per my father’s request yesterday at breakfast.
“I totally forgot about that. Sorry. I had some things to take care of in town. My agent sent me over a couple scripts to take a look at and since my parents live in the middle of nowhere and don’t have internet, I had to go to the library to print everything off.”
“So where are they?” he asks, glancing down at my hands folded in my lap.
“Huh?” I follow his gaze, not sure what he’s talking about.
“The scripts you printed off.” He points out that I have nothing with me but my small over the shoulder purse that couldn’t possibly hold a stack of papers.
“Oh, I wasn’t able to print them. Their printer was out of service today. I spent a couple hours reading over them and I planned to go back tomorrow but now that Karen has officially bit the dust I’ll have to see if Mom will let me borrow her car.”
“I see,” he says like he can’t tell if I’m telling the truth or making up excuses as to why I took off without helping him this morning.
I really did review a couple scripts this morning and I really did forget about helping him. But I was also avoiding him, so technically he’s not wrong there.
“Anything promising?” he adds.
“Promising?”
“Your scripts. Was there anything promising?”
“Oh. One was pretty interesting, the supporting role in an Indie film. The other was a slasher movie. Fourth girl to die.” I shrug. “I’ll be lucky if I even get to read for the part. My agent didn’t seem overly optimistic about that particular role.”
“Tell me about your agent.”
“Wendy. I love her. She’s amazing,” I say, jumping at the chance to talk about anything that doesn’t have to do with last night. “She’s my friend Whitney’s agent. Apparently she went to school with Whit’s mom and agreed to rep Whitney when she went into acting. Which led to her taking me on as well. She’s landed me some pretty decent small roles, but nothing that pays a whole hell of a lot. The last couple years has been about building my résumé. Now we’re looking for the stand out role. Something that will send my career into another stratosphere. Only problem is the thousands of others that are looking for that same role. I’m not sure if it’s more about talent or luck at this point.”
“Maybe a little bit of both.”
“Yeah. Maybe.” I shrug, turning my gaze back out the window as Thad speeds down the vacant country road.
We don’t sit in silence for long before I have to break it – not able to take this awkwardness I feel happening between us. It’s like we’re making small talk for the sake of saving face. Or maybe I’m the only one that feels it. I can’t be sure. Thad seems completely at ease next to me and maybe that’s what’s eating at me the most.
“Listen, about last night...” I start, stopping to clear my throat, not able to speak past the sudden thick knot lodged there when my eyes land on the side of his face.
“You were drunk. You said some things you probably regret today. It’s okay, Laken. We’ve all been there. You don’t have to explain yourself.”
“I don’t regret what I said,” I blurt, not missing the way the side of his mouth hitches slightly like he’s fighting a smile. “Puking all over the place, yes. But what I said, no. I meant what I said.”
“Laken.” His voice deepens almost like it’s physically painful for him to hear me admit my lack of regret.
“We don’t have to have some big discussion about it. I just want to put it out there that I meant what I said – drunk or not. The ball is in your court now. It’s up to you what you choose to do with it.”
“Fair enough.” He nods, his eyes never once leaving the road.
Silence once again settles between us only now I feel even worse than I did two minutes ago. Why can’t I ever leave well enough alone? I don’t know what it is about me. It’s like I’m hardwired to complicate uncomplicated situations. I think too much. I worry. I obsess. I get inside my head and then I feel like if I don’t resolve whatever issue I’m having I might burst apart at the seams.
We arrive back at my parents all too quickly and yet not nearly quick enough. I have to wait for Thad to exit the truck before I can get out instead of jumping out of the passenger side and avoiding him all together like I’d like to.
He waits next to the door until I’m down and out of the way before shoving it closed. Meanwhile, I want to get the hell away from him as quickly as possible.
If what just happened is any indication, I totally misread the signals last night and it was just as I had feared. He was trying to let me down gently. And the kiss, well I guess that was his way of making the rejection a little easier to take.
“Laken.” His hand closes around my forearm and pulls me to a halt right as I move to pass him.
“We’re good, Thad. Really. I get it,” I say, forcing myself to seem unaffected even though all I really want to do is go to my room, crawl into a ball, and cry my eyes out for the remainder of the night.
“Meet me at the barn tonight after Chris and Ben have gone home and your parents are settled in for the night.”
“What?” My eyes go wide as a slow smile creeps across his face.
“The barn. Meet me there. Tonight. Think you can manage that?”
“Okay.” The one word is barely a whisper on my lips, which Thad’s gaze instantly falls to, making my whole body warm.
“Good.” His eyes come back to mine to offer me a quick wink before he releases my arm and takes off across the grounds.
I’m still standing by the truck trying to figure out what the hell happened and what I agreed to when my father’s voice pulls me back into the now.
“Jed get the car okay?” My gaze moves to where him and Ben have just rounded the house.
“I assume so. I didn’t wait around for him,” I say, adjusting the strap of my small purse before making my way toward them.
“I’m gonna head up to the cabin if you’re good,” Ben says, nodding at me as I approach.
“That’s fine. Just make sure you’re up in time for dinner. Your mother is making lasagna tonight.”
“Will do,” he tells our father before turning his gaze to me. “How you feeling, sis?” He gives me a knowing look.
“Right as rain.” I smile, giving him a look that says if you say a word in front of Dad about how drunk I got last night I’ll rip your tongue out.
He knows what that look means and it makes his smile widen. “See you at dinner,” he calls over his shoulder, walking away without another word.
I’m left shaking my head, wishing my mom had given me sisters when my father cuts back in.
“Nothing that could be done?” he questions, setting his tool box at his feet before turning on the water spout next to the house.
“Huh?” I question, not following.
“For the car,” he clarifies.
“Oh, no I don’t think so. He said he’d take a look at it but based on what I told him on the phone he didn’t seem hopeful. He said if she can’t be fixed he can sell her for scrap metal and parts. At least that will give me a little money to get something else. Luckily I don’t need a car in L.A. so I can make due until then.”
“Still planning on going back?” he asks, not looking in my direction as he leans forward and proceeds to wash his hands in the water pouring from the spout.
“You know I am,” I say in a way that indicates how tired I am of having this
conversation. I swear every time I mention L.A. my parents get all snarky like they really believe I’m home to stay.
“I see. Any idea when?”
“You in a rush to get rid of me?” I arch a brow.
“Of course not.” He shuts off the water and straightens. His six-two frame towering over my five-five one.
“I’ve received a couple audition scripts. Wendy hasn’t gotten a date nailed down for either yet but she’s going to let me know as soon as she does. I’ll probably be flying back to L.A. to audition.”
“And will you come back here after?” he questions.
“I plan to. I mean, unless by some off chance I get cast and shooting starts immediately, which is not very likely.”
“You getting the part or them shooting immediately?”
“Both,” I admit truthfully.
“The girl who left here four years ago wouldn’t have thought so.”
“The girl who left here four years ago was naïve. I still believe I can do it, but I’m no longer delusional enough to believe that it’s going to happen overnight. It will happen,” I say, not sure if I’m trying to convince myself or him. “One day,” I add under my breath.
“Well, until then I’m glad you’re here,” he says, resting a big hand on my shoulder.
“Me too,” I admit, not completely hating my time here as much as I thought I would. Of course a certain hot guy with perfect lips and eyes that render me a soppy puddle every time they look my way might have something to do with that.
“Stop in and feed the horses for me before you head inside, would ya?” He waits until I nod before retracting his hand. “And don’t be late for dinner.”
“Yes, sir.” I give him a smile before taking off toward the barn without another word.
Chapter Thirteen
Dinner is pure torture. It’s all I can do not to look at Thad every ten seconds. Because each time I do I find myself picturing his mouth on mine, his hands roaming my body, him on top of me driving deep. All of which are not things you want to be thinking about when you’re sitting around a dinner table with your entire family in attendance.
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