He knows what I’m thinking too. I can tell by the way his eyes darken every time they meet mine. By the way his foot has accidently bumped mine under the dinner table several times over the course of the last thirty minutes. By the way a slow smile spreads across his lips every time he catches me staring.
He’s got me so full of anticipation and nerves that I feel like I might come apart at the seams and if I had to guess I’d say he’s enjoying every minute of the torture he’s inflicting on me.
Unfortunately tonight is one of those nights where everyone is unusually chatty and dinner goes on a lot longer than it normally would. Or maybe they aren’t and it’s only my eagerness to get away that has me staring at the clock over the back door, watching the seconds tick by agonizingly slow.
Thad said to meet him in the barn after everyone leaves, yet it doesn’t seem like any of them are going anywhere anytime soon which only adds to the anxiousness currently eating away at my stomach.
I consider kicking Thad under the table when he gives me another knowing smirk before shoveling a bite of lasagna into his mouth. He chews slowly, then swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he does.
I throw him a dirty look and have to bite back a laugh when he winks. Shaking my head, I quickly look away, my stomach twisting when I find Chris watching me curiously. His gaze moves to Thad and then back to me, a question he chooses not to ask clear on his face.
I force a smile, not sure what else to do before I force a bite of pasta into my mouth.
The rest of dinner I engage in as much conversation as I can but don’t miss the way my older brother continues to watch me. Something tells me he must have seen something that he didn’t like or at the very least that made him curious – which leaves me feeling half sick by the end of dessert.
It’s just after seven when my brothers finally start to clear out. Brad and Miranda are the first to leave, heading back to their house with the baby. Followed by Ben who heads out to meet Beth for a movie in town. Finally Chris heads back to his apartment over the garage, but not before hanging around an extra few minutes until after Thad is gone.
I pretend to ignore that I noticed that little fact.
I hang around and help my mom with the dishes before excusing myself for the night just before eight, claiming I’m exhausted – which isn’t completely untrue. Obviously I have no plans to go to sleep, but rather freshen up before I sneak out to the barn.
It doesn’t take long for the nerves to really kick in once I’m alone in my room. I spend the better part of thirty minutes trying to talk myself out of going. Even though this was my idea, I’m starting to think it was a bad one.
Who am I to suggest a no strings sex pack with a man who already controls eighty percent of my thoughts daily? What made me think I could do this? Can I even sleep with someone without becoming attached? It’s not like I’ve ever tried it out to know. Sure, I’ve had a couple hook ups over the years, but none with a man that made me feel even a fraction of what Thad does.
But even with all that—the nerves, the fear, the doubt—I still find myself slipping out of the back door just after nine and crossing the dark grounds toward the barn, my heart pounding in my chest with each step.
When I reach the barn, the door is already partially open allowing me to slip inside with ease. I look around the dimly lit space, not spotting Thad right away. Stopping at Cocoa’s stall, I reach through the gate and run my hand along her mane.
“You came.” The instant his voice washes over me every surface of my skin prickles.
I pause with my hand resting against the side of Cocoa’s face, almost scared to turn around and face him.
“I said I would,” I remind him, my gaze still on my horse.
“Tell me again what you want from me, Laken,” His voice is closer this time; the ground crunches below his feet with every step he takes.
“You know what I want.” My voice shakes slightly at the end and I take a deep breath to calm myself.
“I need you to tell me again.” He stops directly behind me, so close I can feel the heat radiating from his body.
“I want you,” I tell him, still not able to turn.
“No strings?” he asks, his breath hot on the back of my neck.
“No strings,” I confirm.
“When it’s over it’s over and we move on,” he says, trailing the back of his hand down my arm.
“When it’s over it’s over,” I repeat what he says.
“Turn around and look at me, Laken.”
I do as he says without giving myself too much time to think about it. Right now I don’t want to think. I just want to feel.
The instant our gazes lock my breathing accelerates. Thad’s eyes are dark, his desire so evident that my earlier doubt evaporates.
“You’re sure about this?” He takes a commanding step forward which forces me back against the gate.
“I’m sure.” I chew nervously on my bottom lip.
“There’s no going back, Laken. Once I touch you I won’t be able to stop myself.”
“I don’t want you to stop.” He presses into me, his arousal undeniable and my body just about melts to the ground.
“Then you better hold on tight, baby.” With that, his mouth crashes down to mine.
Whatever thoughts I had about the kiss last night go flying out the window. It holds nothing to this kiss. This kiss right here is the stuff dreams are made of. Rough, punishing, commanding, and yet oddly sweet all wrapped up into one. I’m consumed by his taste, his smell, the way it feels when he lifts me into his arms.
I don’t realize we’re moving until I hear a gate latch open and then close moments later. I’m too focused on Thad. On the low growls that radiate from his throat, the way he bites my bottom lip before he runs his tongue along it to sooth it, the way his hands grip my ass.
One minute I’m in the air, wrapped in Thad’s arms, the next I’m being lowered to the ground, my back coming to rest on top of a thick bed of hay.
Thad makes quick work removing my shirt, taking a long moment to drink me in with his eyes before his own shirt comes off.
There’s no taking our time. Sexual tensions are at an all-time high and it’s clear by the way the rest of our clothing comes off in quick succession that neither one of us are in the mood to drag this out.
It isn’t until Thad slides on a condom and settles over me that the reality of what we’re doing seems to sink in. And even then there’s not a chance I could stop it. Even if I wanted to I’m already in too deep. I’m under his spell. Captivated by all that he is.
His handsome face. His toned abs. His incredible arms. His silky hair. All of him. Every single part of him is absolute perfection. And when he slides inside, stretching me around his thickness, I feel about as close to perfect as I think I’ll ever get.
His actions aren’t hurried or forced, but instead filled with a sense of desperation I can understand all too well. Because right now that’s exactly what I feel – desperate for him.
He moves above me with skilled precision, driving into me with just enough force to have me crying out his name but not so hard that it hurts.
He’s the perfect combination of rough and gentle, taking my body to heights it’s never reached. Over and over again he teases me upward, then pulls me back right before I’m about to fall over the edge.
“Thad,” I groan out as he slows again, needing my release so desperately I’m more than willing to beg for it.
“Not until I’m ready for you,” he tells me as he brings me back down, slowing to an almost stop before kissing me deep.
Without warning he increases his speed, pounding into me so hard it brings my orgasm right back to the peak.
“Now, baby. Go now,” he growls, sucking my tongue into his mouth as he slams into me over and over, the sound of skin hitting skin echoing through the barn.
I do as he says, exploding around him seconds later so intensely that for a moment I fear I might start
to cry. I’ve never experienced an orgasm that not only overtook me physically but mentally as well.
Thad follows right behind me, spilling his release into the condom before collapsing down on top of me. I bear the full brunt of his weight, loving how good every inch of him feels pressed against me while he continues to pulse inside of me.
I’m not sure exactly how much time passes before Thad pulls back, sliding out of me as he looks down, studying my face. I’m too lost in my euphoric high to have any real grasp on anything around me.
“You okay?” he asks, his eyes unsure.
“Better than okay.” I smile at him, pushing his hair away from his face with my fingers.
I can sense him visibly relax as a slow smile plays on his mouth.
“So no regrets then?”
“Regrets?” I laugh, pushing at his shoulder to roll him onto his back. He goes willingly, giving no objection when I settle on top of him, my legs straddling his waist. “More like I’m ready to go again.”
“Well then, by all means, Miss Roth. I’m at your disposal.”
Leaning forward so that my mouth hovers just above his, I hold his gaze and softly whisper, “I think I like the sound of that,” before pressing my lips to his.
Chapter Fourteen
“Laken, wake up,” I hear seconds before my shoulder begins to shake. “Laken,” I hear again, louder this time.
My eyes flutter open and instant confusion sets in. It’s dark but not pitch black. Yellow light illuminates the barn stall just enough that I’m able to place my location and the man who’s chest I’m currently nuzzled against.
“We have to get out of here. It’s nearly six,” Thad says, his words taking a second to register.
“Six?” I sit up, instantly looking for my clothes which I realize I already have on.
I’d gotten dressed after round two, but neither Thad nor I were ready to leave. I certainly never meant to fall asleep though. Knowing my father is likely already up and making rounds, I stand so quickly you would think something had bitten me.
“Shit. Shit. Shit,” I chant, trying to brush the hay off of me.
“Come here.” Thad chuckles, stepping up in front of me to pull a couple pieces of straw from my hair.
“How are you so calm?” I whisper yell, batting at his hand.
“Relax. I’m usually the one that tends to the horses and chickens first thing in the morning.”
“And?” I question like I can’t see how that would make any difference.
“If anyone sees you heading up to the house, say I asked you to check in on the horses for me.”
“And if they see you seconds later?” I counter. “I think that might be a little suspicious, don’t you think?”
“They won’t see me.” He winks, dropping a kiss to the tip of my nose in a surprisingly sweet act. “Now go. I’m gonna slip around to the camper, change, and be back here in ten minutes. No one will be the wiser.”
“I hope you’re right.” I let out a deep exhale, turning to unlatch the gate.
“Laken,” Thad calls after me just as I slip out of the stall.
I turn back, temporarily distracted by how delicious he looks with his disheveled hair and random pieces of hay stuck to his shirt.
“Meet me after lunch. Bring Cocoa out to the creek.”
“And what will your excuse be for skipping out on work in the middle of the afternoon?” I cock a brow, unable to hide the smile the tugs at my lips.
“You let me worry about that.” He grins and the action does something funny to my insides.
I nod once before turning and quickly walking away, trying to ignore the voice in the back of my head that tells me I’m already in too deep.
“What the hell are you doing up?” I hear moments after I enter the house.
“Hey.” I turn in the middle of the kitchen just in time to see Chris step through the backdoor. “Thad asked me if I would tend to the horses for him this morning,” I say a little too quickly.
“It’s not even six thirty in the morning.” He studies me curiously. “Since when do you get up that early?”
“I used to always get up this early,” I remind him. “Besides, I had trouble sleeping. Decided to just run out and check on the horses before seeing if Mom needs help making breakfast.” I dig myself further into the lie.
“Right.” He nods, crossing the kitchen. He sets his travel mug in front of the coffee pot, pops off the lid, and proceeds to fill his cup.
Turning, he leans his back against the counter and lifts the cup to his lips, taking a tentative sip – his gaze on me the whole time. Only then do I realize I’ve pretty much been frozen in the same spot since he busted me and decide I’m failing miserably at trying to play this off.
Crossing the kitchen toward him, I scoot him out of the way by bumping my hip to his as I reach for a coffee cup in the cabinet behind him.
Once I’m finished pouring my own cup, Chris asks, “So, you wanna tell me why you have the same clothes on that you wore yesterday?”
“I’m running low on clean clothes, decided it was easier to just throw this back on for now.” I shrug, sliding past him to take a seat at the table.
“You’re a shit liar, you know that?” He smirks, pushing away from the counter to take the seat next to me.
“I’m not lying,” I object.
“I have never known you to wear the same outfit two days in a row.”
“Since when do you care what I wear and how often?” I smart. “What are you, the clothes police all of a sudden?”
“Why don’t you tell me what you’re up to, Lake?” Chris leans forward, dropping his elbows onto the table.
I take a moment to study his dirty gray hat, and how even though he looks almost the same as he did the day I left, he seems to have aged several years all at the same time. Something I hadn’t realized until this very moment.
“I did tell you.” I lean back in my chair, taking a sip of coffee.
“Sticking to it I see.” One side of his mouth pulls up in a smirk.
“Sticking to what?” I try to come across as confused but I’m pretty sure it portrays as even more guilty.
“Nothing, sis.” He shakes his head, abruptly standing from the table. “If I were you I’d change before breakfast,” he tells me, using his hand to ruffle my hair as he passes behind me and disappears out the back door moments later.
Well that wasn’t awful or anything.
Deciding the last thing I need right now is to run into another family member, I take my coffee and immediately head upstairs, ducking into my bedroom moments later.
Abandoning my cup on top of the dresser, I collapse fully clothed on top of my bed, not sure if I want to laugh, cry, or pass out.
What are the odds that the two times I end up falling asleep with Thad someone in my family catches me in my attempt to make a clean getaway?
First my mom with the whole fell asleep in the camper/movie debacle. I’m still not sure if she believes that I actually fell asleep and that nothing happened. And now Chris – who clearly knows something’s up. He may have been nice enough not to spell it out for me, but he certainly had no qualms about laying some heavy hints.
I let out a slow exhale and close my eyes, the memory of Thad moving over me the first thing to flash through my mind.
An instant wave of emotion rolls over me. I don’t think I was expecting what happened last night to actually happen. I was prepared to dance around my attraction to Thad during my time here and escape as quickly as possible unscathed.
Clearly that plan went out the window, right along with my self-control. It’s like he smiles at me and I melt into a puddle at his feet. It’s pathetic really.
What’s the most surprising to me though is not my behavior—I’m known for going after what I want and Thad is no exception. It’s how last night made me feel. Vulnerable. Wanted. Needed even. And right now I’m at odds with those feelings.
On one hand I’m happy
. So giddy I could dance around my room like a teenager. On the other, I’m terrified. But it’s not enough to scare me off. At least not yet. But it’s enough to make me take notice of what’s happening around me.
There’s no denying how Thad makes me feel. It’s there every time he looks at me. When he touches me... Well, let’s just say it’s even more obvious then. I have to keep my eyes open and remember the end game.
It’s not about some guy who makes my heart pound faster. He’s only the distraction. It’s about my career and getting back to what I love to do. Correction – what I was born to do.
Thad and I can have our fun, but when the time comes to choose, Los Angeles will win every single time.
—-
“Laken,” my mother says seconds before she appears in the doorway of the kitchen where I’m currently getting my butt handed to me in cards by the twins.
They insisted we play while we wait for the rest of the guys to join us for lunch. I know better. Even in grade school they’d always win. Now it’s just embarrassing.
“Yeah.” I look up over my crappy cards.
“Brylan is on the phone for you,” she says, the kitchen door squeaking open the moment the statement leaves her mouth.
“Brylan?” I question, my gaze falling to Thad as he steps inside, followed closely by my father.
“You’ll have to take it in the living room. The cordless is charging,” she tells me, hurrying toward the fridge to retrieve the sandwiches we made for lunch.
“Right.” I toss my cards face down onto the table. “I forfeit,” I announce as I stand.
“You were going to lose anyway,” Josh tells me.
“Seriously. I can’t believe I’m related to you,” Seth pitches in, joking.
“Yeah. Yeah.” I laugh. “Keep it up and I won’t ever play cards with you again.”
“At this point I think you’d be doing us a favor,” Seth adds, smiling widely when I flip him off in a way that my mother can’t see.
Turning, I ignore Thad’s eyes on me as I quickly exit the kitchen. Flopping down in my father’s recliner, I grab the corded phone off the end table, for a brief moment wondering if my family will ever catch up to modern technology. I don’t even know if they make corded phones anymore. I’m pretty sure they’ve had this one since I was a baby.
Force of Nature Page 9
