The Christmas Vow

by Shanna Hatfield

  “Thanks, Arlan. I appreciate it. See you in the morning.” Adam set the lamp on the dresser while Arlan shut the door.

  When it clicked shut, Adam released the breath he’d been holding and sank onto the quilt covering the bed. It smelled like sunshine and some unnamed scent he’d quickly associated with Arlan’s lovely wife.

  The day had been filled with emotion — seeing Tia with her son, meeting Alex for the first time, and dealing with the finality of watching Carl’s coffin lowered into the cold, Hardman ground. At least his friend had a proper burial since the ground had not yet frozen beyond the first few inches of topsoil.

  If he could avoid running into Tia for the remaining weeks he planned to be in town, he might just survive the visit. Otherwise, he’d have to disappoint his brother and return to Portland much sooner than he planned.

  Despite how hard he’d tried to convince himself he no longer had any interest in the woman, he couldn’t stop visions of her from floating through his mind. His thoughts spun around how beautiful Tia had looked with the winter wind whipping rosy touches to her cheeks and sending tendrils of hair dancing in the breeze.

  Careworn, Adam removed his clothes, blew out the lamp and climbed between the cool sheets. His dreams took him back to his teen years, back to the last time he’d been truly happy.

  Chapter Three

  Tia sat on the edge of her son’s bed, listening to his sweet voice as he recited his bedtime prayers. When he finished, he climbed beneath the covers and looked up at her with unconditional trust and love.

  “Mama?”

  “Yes, sweetheart?” Tia brushed the cowlick of golden hair back from his forehead. She counted the familiar freckles across his cute little nose then gazed into his bright blue eyes, twinkling with life and a dash of mischief.

  “Who was that man today?” Toby reached out, tracing his finger along the embroidered vines decorating the edge of her sleeve.

  Confused, Tia wasn’t sure which man Toby meant. In the two months they’d resided in Hardman, he’d come to recognize most of the residents of the area through church and living in town. “What man, Toby?”

  “The one who stared at you. The big man who looked like this…” Toby worked his face into an exaggerated frown and pushed his eyebrows together until his expression was so comical, Tia had to work to hold back her laughter.

  Despite his description, Tia still wasn’t sure who Toby had seen watching her, unless it was Adam Guthry. She’d caught him glowering at her more than once.

  After what she’d done to their friendship, she couldn’t blame him for being less than enthusiastic to see her.

  “Was he wearing a dark blue coat with a black hat?” she asked, leaning down and brushing her nose against Toby’s, making him giggle.

  “Yep. He had a scarf around his neck. He looked mad and sad. Did the mad-sad man know Mr. Carl?”

  Tia sat upright and returned to brushing her fingers through Toby’s soft hair. At four, he sometimes seemed much more attuned to the feelings of others than many adults.

  Adam had looked very sad and angry. It was no wonder. He hadn’t expected to see her there and Carl had been his best friend.

  Growing up, the three of them were inseparable until Tia and Adam realized they had deeper feelings for each other. Carl had remained a good friend to them both, even after she’d left with no explanation and barely a word of goodbye.

  The man had been nothing but kindness since she’d returned to Hardman. It broke her heart he’d lost his wife and baby, and now his own life. They were young, so full of hopes and dreams, it was a shame to see their future cut short.

  Tears burned her eyes as memories of all the happy times she’d shared with Carl and Adam flooded through her mind.

  Toby tugged on her hand, pulling her back to reality.

  “Mama? Did that man know Mr. Carl?”

  Quietly sniffling, she nodded her head and forced away her tears. “Yes, baby. He knew Carl. They were the best of friends.”

  “They were?” Toby looked thoughtful for a moment, weighing her words. “So he was sad that Mr. Carl went to heaven and can’t be his friend anymore?”

  “Mr. Guthry is sad. Very sad. Just like we’re sad that Carl went away.” Tia surrendered to her longing to cuddle her son and wrapped him in her arms, kissing the top of his head.

  “My father went away like that, too, didn’t he?” Toby glanced up at her with eyes full of interest and intelligence.

  “Yes, Toby. Your father went away like that, too.” Tia absolutely refused to think about the death of her husband with the loss of Carl so painful and fresh.

  “Mama?”

  “Hmm?” Tia rocked him back and forth in her arms.

  “Will you go away like that and leave me all alone?” Toby’s voice wavered and tears glistened in his eyes.

  “No, baby. Never. I’ll never leave you alone. I promise.” Tia kissed his forehead and rocked him a few more minutes until they both felt a measure of calm and peace. Gently she tucked him back into his bed and kissed his cheeks and nose. “You close your eyes and go to sleep, Toby.”

  “Sing me a song, Mama. Please?”

  “Only if you close your eyes and go to sleep.”

  “Okay.” Toby closed his eyes, but a smile rode his lips as Tia leaned back and cleared her throat.

  As she sang All Through the Night, she watched Toby relax, fighting to stay awake, yet ready to succumb to restful sleep.

  Soft the drowsy hours are creeping

  Hill and vale in slumber sleeping,

  I my loving vigil keeping

  All through the night.

  When air puffed out of his lips, she smiled and switched from singing to humming. Cautiously, she rose to her feet and adjusted his covers one more time before picking up the hand lamp she’d carried into his room and slowly backing into the hall.

  After leaving the door partially open, she banked the fires, checked the locks on the doors, and readied for bed.

  Tia slid between the sheets and curled up under the layers of quilts and blankets.

  The cool temperature of the room and recollections of Adam’s frosty glares left her thoroughly chilled.

  She assumed Arlan would let his brother know of their friend’s passing, but part of her hoped Adam wouldn’t be able to make it back to town.

  Once she saw him join the group of mourners, Tia was hard-pressed to pay attention to the service.

  His presence captivated her, despite his solemn, wounded appearance. Toby was right. Adam did look mad and sad.

  The last time she’d seen him, they’d been eighteen. While his shoulders had been broad then and he stood taller than many men, he hadn’t been full-grown.

  Even though his face still held the same boyish appeal, Adam had filled out his form with the muscles acquired by a hard-working man.

  Inconceivable as it was, he’d gotten even better looking as he aged. Dimples still danced in his cheeks when he smiled. That fact might have passed her notice, but she’d caught his smile as he greeted Ginny Stratton with genuine warmth.

  Her eyes had lingered on his wide shoulders and solid chest. Memories of being held against that chest, of being encircled by those strong arms, made a sob catch in her throat.

  Painfully, Tia bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying out.

  Emotions she’d bottled up threatened to erupt as she dabbed at her tears with the edge of the sheet.

  When her husband had died in a freak buggy accident three years ago, Tia mourned his passing much as she mourned the loss of Carl. Patrick had been a friend, but he’d never, not even for one day, possessed her heart.

  Sad but true, she’d never been in love with her husband. Patrick was a dozen years her senior when they met the summer she was eighteen. She’d gone to Portland to visit her great aunt and never came back to Hardman.

  The day before she planned to leave Portland to return home, she’d taken a walk to the park and bumped into Patrick Devere
ux.

  Handsome, wealthy, and charismatic, he’d swept her off her feet, treating her like a princess.

  Infatuated with all a life with him would offer, she accepted his proposal when he asked her to wed just two weeks after their initial meeting.

  Even as she committed her life to his, the only feelings she’d ever held for Patrick were those of a friend. It was impossible to give him her heart when Adam Guthry owned her love.

  Determined her husband would never know the truth, she did her best to be the wife Patrick wanted and expected. She fulfilled the role of a doting wife, made every effort to be beautiful and charming, and turned his house into a comfortable home.

  Patrick was a popular attorney, the son of a high-powered judge in Portland. His mother was a socially sought-after woman everyone vied to please. His brother worked in real estate when he wasn’t breaking girlish hearts.

  Together, the Devereux family amassed a small fortune and created a name held in high regard.

  However, Tia hated the endless parties, the way Patrick’s mother politely criticized her every move.

  Then Toby arrived and all her regrets about marrying Patrick vanished. The adorable baby boy made everything wrong in her world suddenly right.

  She might never have loved Patrick, might spend a lifetime wishing she’d made different choices, but she couldn’t regret the path that placed Toby in her life.

  Upon his death, Patrick had left Tia a wealthy woman. She could go anywhere she wanted in the world. However, the place she needed to be was in Hardman, back in the house where she’d grown up.

  For now, it was the best place to raise her son.

  Chapter Four

  “Toby, come eat your breakfast while it’s hot.” Tia set a bowl of oatmeal on the table along with a glass of milk.

  “But, Mama, it’s so pretty outside. Can’t we go out and play?” Toby turned from where he stared out the window. Snow had fallen throughout the night while a coating of frost on every surface created a winter wonderland of glistening white.

  “I need to see to several errands this morning, so we’ll go out then.” Tia smiled at Toby as she wiped her hands on a dishtowel. “First, there’s a certain young man who needs to eat his breakfast then comb his hair and make his bed.”

  “I already made my bed.” Toby skipped across the kitchen and climbed onto his chair. He folded his little hands beneath his chin, ready for his mother to ask a blessing on their meal.

  “That’s wonderful, sweetheart.” Tia smiled at him then bowed her head and offered a simple prayer. When she lifted her head, Toby grinned at the boat she’d created in his bowl of oatmeal using an apple slice and raisins.

  “Mama! It’s a boat! I love boats!” Toby beamed as he picked up his spoon and fished out the apple slice.

  “I know you love boats, baby, that’s why I made it. Don’t dawdle, though. We’ve got a busy day ahead of us.” Tia watched her little boy enthusiastically eat his cereal and drink his milk.

  “I’m all done.” Toby started to wipe his mouth on his sleeve, caught his mother’s glare, and lifted a napkin to his lips. When he finished, he grinned at Tia. “After I comb my hair, may we go outside?”

  Tia reached out and cupped his chin, gazing into his dear face. He looked like a replica of his father. Her heart pinched as she thought of how much she loved her son and how little she missed Patrick and the life she’d lived with him.

  “I’ll do the dishes while you feed Crabby and give him some attention.” Tia tipped her head toward a fluffy white cat with bright green eyes swishing his tail from his box beside the stove.

  The feline was cantankerous and ornery on a good day, but Tia put up with the animal because Toby loved it. She’d also seen the cat protect Toby from a stray dog that ran into their yard and almost bit him. From out of nowhere, Crabby sailed through the air and landed on the dog’s back in a fury of claws and flying fur.

  Although the cat tolerated her presence, it rolled over and purred the moment Toby knelt by his box and stroked a hand over his head. “I started Crabby’s motor, Mama.”

  Tia grinned as she washed the breakfast dishes. “You most certainly did. Do you think Crabby will ever let a grown up make him purr?”

  “Nope. He only likes kids.” Toby filled the cat’s dish with food and poured fresh water into a deep bowl then resumed petting Crabby. “He likes Erin and Maura.”

  “Yes, he does.” Tia had watched the finicky feline let the pastor’s little girl and Maura Granger practically maul him with attention. Docilely, he sat and purred, not so much as swishing his tail or cocking an ear. Yet, the moment Chauncy bent over to pet him, Crabby hissed and ran off to hide beneath Toby’s bed.

  When Tia finished the dishes, she sent Toby off to comb his hair and brush his teeth while she changed her dress and tidied her hair.

  After digging through her things at the back of the closet, she found a pair of winter carriage boots trimmed with fur and lined with lamb’s wool for warmth. She sat on the end of her bed and pulled them on her feet, tying the black silk ribbons before moving to stand in front of her dresser mirror.

  Quickly pinning on a black hat with an emerald plume, she slipped on her favorite wool coat. The dark green fabric accented with hand-painted roses and fur collar had been the last Christmas gift she’d received from Patrick.

  One thing she couldn’t deny was that he’d possessed excellent taste in fashion. Over the years, he’d provided so many lovely clothes for her, she often wondered if he viewed her as a life-sized doll.

  Casting aside her memories and musings, she picked up a pair of gloves and her reticule then hurried down the hall to the kitchen. Toby talked to Crabby as the two of them looked outside.

  The cat jumped down from his perch on the windowsill and sauntered to the door. He looked back at Tia once with a narrowed gaze before staring at the door.

  “Yes, your highness. The message you’d like out has been clearly conveyed.” Tia opened the door. The cat gingerly stepped across the porch and behind the house, disappearing into the bushes.

  Toby struggled to button his coat with his mittens already on his hands.

  “Here, sweetheart. Let me help.” Tia knelt in front of him.

  Toby patted her cheeks with his wool-covered fingers as she buttoned his coat then pulled a knit cap onto his head and down over his ears. Before he could run outside, she wrapped a small red scarf around his neck. “Ready to go?”

  “Yep! Let’s go, Mama. I want to see if Pastor Chauncy let Erin make a snowman in her yard.” Toby grabbed her hand and pulled as Tia closed the door. She followed him down the steps and across the backyard to the boardwalk.

  She listened to his lively chatter as they strolled toward the heart of town. Some of the industrious men in Hardman had already cleared most of the snow from the boardwalk. Tia wondered if Adam helped since Arlan was often among those who picked up a shovel and cleared away the snow.

  Lost in the vision of Adam’s muscular arms hefting a shovel full of snow, she and Toby walked around the corner near the mercantile and plowed into a solid form.

  Hands reached out to steady her then immediately pulled back, but not before Tia caught the look of distress on Adam Guthry’s face.

  “Oh!” Tia reached up to straighten her hat as Toby tugged on her sleeve. She looked down at him while he stared at Adam.

  “Mama, that’s the mad-sad man.” His whisper carried loudly through the still morning air.

  Adam raised a questioning eyebrow as he glared at Tia. “Mad-sad man?”

  Embarrassed by her son’s words and unsettled by Adam’s proximity, she released a nervous laugh. “Toby noticed you at the service yesterday and asked if I knew the mad-sad man.”

  Much to her surprise, Adam hunkered down and removed his glove. He held out his hand to her son. “Toby, is it?”

  The little boy tugged off a mitten and shook his hand, clearly pleased the big man offered it to him.

  “It’s ni
ce to meet you, Toby. My name is Adam. I used to live here and knew your mama back then.”

  “You did?” Toby’s voice held a hint of curiosity while his eyes widened with interest. “Did you know Mr. Carl?”

  Adam nodded his head. “I sure did. He was my very best friend. I’m sad that he’s gone.”

  Toby took a step forward and placed his small hand on Adam’s shoulder, patting it gently. “It’s okay. Mama and I are sad he’s gone, too. Maybe he and my father will meet each other in heaven. Do you think they’ll remember me?”

  “I’m sure of it.” Adam smiled at the child, unable to resist his innocent, tender spirit. “What are you and your mama doing out on such a cold, frosty morning.”

  “Mama has to see to errands,” Toby said, then leaned closer to Adam. “That means she’s going to visit Miss Abby, go to the post office, and the mercantile. I like to go to the mercantile but sometimes Miss Abby lets me stay to play with Erin.”

  “Is that right?” Adam asked as he helped Toby put on his mitten and pulled his own glove back on his hand. “Well, I best let you get on your way. It was nice to meet you, Toby.”

  Toby smiled broadly and yanked on his mother’s hand again. “Come on, Mama. I want to see if Erin’s in the store.”

  “You run on ahead, baby. I’ll be there in a moment,” Tia said, watching as Toby skipped partway down the block and opened the door to Abby Dodd’s dress shop. She turned her gaze to Adam, taking in the sadness around his eyes and the disappointment bracketing his mouth. “I’m truly sorry about Carl, Adam. I’m sorry about… when I left…” Her voice caught and she found it impossible to speak.

  “Just forget about it, Tia. If you think I’ve spent all this time missing you, what might have been, you’re kidding yourself. I left you and all those memories behind a long time ago. You don’t mean a thing to me.” Adam ignored the pain in her eyes his words inflicted and stepped around her. “I know you cared about Carl, even if you owned no real affection for me. Let’s just ignore each other while I’m in town and leave it at that.”