The Christmas Vow

by Shanna Hatfield

  “Yes, I recall the two of you going. Arlan came home with a terrible cold and missed the spring dance, not that I think he minded terribly.”

  Adam chuckled. “No, he never minded missing out on dancing, although he did like to play his trumpet with the band.”

  “I’ve heard him play in the community band. He’s still quite good.”

  Slowly, he nodded in agreement. They remained silent for several uncomfortable minutes until she spoke.

  “Why, Adam?” Tia gazed at him imploringly while her heart thundered in her chest, afraid of his answer, afraid to hear the truth. “Why did you buy that ring?”

  “I bought it for you, Tia.”

  Caught off guard, she swallowed hard and stared at the beautiful ring again. If she could have picked any ring in the world, it would have been that one.

  For years, she’d hated the large gauche ring Patrick forced onto her finger the day they wed. She’d been relieved to remove it after his death. Not once had she ever admired it the way she did the ring currently on her finger.

  Lit from within, the stunning opal reflected the glow of the fire, as if it held a shimmering mystery. The notion that Adam had not only purchased it for her more than a decade ago but also kept it made her heart as soft as butter in the warming oven.

  “I don’t understand, Adam,” Tia said, unable to look at the man she so dearly loved. “It wouldn’t have been an appropriate graduation gift, and even so, you didn’t give it to me.”

  Unsettled by the prospect of baring his heart, Adam’s foot jiggled nervously. “I didn’t purchase it as a graduation gift. I bought it to slip on your finger when I asked you to marry me. In case you’ve forgotten, I loved you, Tia. I loved you with every ounce of love a boy that age could possess. I dreamed of spending my life with you, of building a future together.”

  Tia’s head snapped up and she stared at Adam. Spluttering, she gaped from him to the ring. “But you never… you didn’t… I would…”

  Adam sighed. “I planned to ask you the summer after graduation. All of a sudden, you got it into your head to traipse off to Portland to visit your great aunt. You never came home.” With nonchalance, he shrugged. “It was probably all for the best anyway. Obviously, we outgrew the childish infatuation we shared back then.”

  Devastated by his words, Tia slumped against the sofa cushions while all the color drained from her face. If she’d just waited another week, even another day before she left for Portland, she might have spent the last eleven years loving Adam instead of longing for something she’d never have.

  Woozy from the unexpected and complete understanding of how deeply she’d hurt him, how stupidly she’d altered the course of her future, she felt sick to her stomach.

  “Here, take a sip of this.” Adam held a cup of tea out to her.

  Tia took it with a shaking hand and sipped the lukewarm brew.

  When Adam placed the back of his hand against her forehead, he frowned. “You feel a little warm, Queenie. Do I need to fetch the doc?”

  On the verge of breaking down into uncontrollable sobs, Tia set the cup on the nearby table, got to her feet, and glanced down at Adam’s bewildered face. “I’m fine, Adam, but thank you. It’s been a tiring day. If there’s anything you need to settle into your room, please let me know. Good night.”

  Perturbed by her abrupt departure, Adam watched her scurry out of the parlor.

  With a dejected sigh, he stared into the fire, wondering how he’d manage to survive the remaining weeks until he could head back to Portland.

  What he’d said to Tia was true. It probably was for the best she’d run off to Portland. If she hadn’t, he’d most likely never have moved and found a job he loved so much.

  It wasn’t just the adventure of piloting a different boat every day. He loved being out on the river, riding the motion of the craft moving through the water. There was nothing like the sounds of the river whooshing by or the warmth of the sunshine on his face as he guided a vessel through the Columbia River Gorge.

  Besides, if Tia hadn’t run off to Portland and married the fancy pants attorney, she wouldn’t have Toby.

  No matter what had transpired, the little boy was a precious, precocious gift to his mother and, Adam admitted, to him. Although he’d only known him a few weeks, Toby had already taken a spot in Adam’s heart, right next to the huge portion Tia unwittingly owned.

  His words about outgrowing their childish infatuation rang with truth, as well. Oh, he’d loved Tia then. Absolutely, undoubtedly loved her. He would have married her, cherished her, and done his best to make her happy.

  But what he felt for her as a boy maturing into manhood was nothing compared to what he felt for her now.

  All the love he’d locked away poured out in a vast flood the moment he’d set eyes on her again. He’d tried to ignore it. To fight it. To shove his feelings back down into the empty black hole she’d left behind in his heart.

  No matter how hard he tried, though, his love pulsed stronger and more insistently each time he encountered the woman and her adorable son.

  The possible outcomes, the probable consequences of his brash decision to marry Tia to thwart the judge’s despicable plans didn’t concern him. Not nearly as much as the thought of leaving Hardman without staking his claim on the woman he loved.

  Officially, legally, and undeniably married to her, Adam had no idea what to do with his bride.

  Ruefully, he shook his head as he got to his feet and viciously poked at the fire. He knew what he wanted to do with her, but she held no interest in his amorous notions.

  He had to make it through three more weeks before he could return to his job. In light of how distraught Tia seemed at the realization she was his wife, he planned to leave her in Hardman.

  If she’d never open her heart to him again, he might as well put as much distance between the two of them as possible. Otherwise, he might lose the iron grip on his self-control and confess the depths of his love while ravaging her with kisses.

  He’d greatly enjoyed the one they shared during the ceremony and had stupidly considered the many more he longed to lavish upon her.

  Vaguely recalling his promise that it was a marriage in name only, Adam released a frustrated breath.

  It would be pure torture to get through the holidays, trapped as he was with a woman he’d wanted to make love to since he was sixteen.

  Toby served as a good buffer between him and Tia while the boy was awake, but how could he endure evenings alone with her if they all went as badly as this one?

  After washing the few dirty dishes and putting them away, Adam banked the fires and moved with a weary tread to his bedroom.

  The heart-wrenching sound of muffled sobs coming from Tia’s room drew him to her door. He raised his hand to knock then thought better of it.

  Convinced she still mourned her husband, Adam assumed her tears came from the hasty marriage she’d entered into with him.

  Determined to harden his heart where she was concerned, he returned to his room and closed the door.

  Chapter Eleven

  Tia’s hands shook so badly, she could barely unfasten the hooks of her dress. Once she finally yanked it off, she removed her underthings and slipped on a warm flannel nightgown then slid between the cool sheets of her bed.

  Overcome with regret and longing for the man who’d never love her again, she turned her face into her pillow and sobbed.

  The entire day had seemed like a dream. A wonderful dream that somehow made her feel seventeen again, just like the summer she’d spent running wild and free with Adam and Carl, secretly pondering what it would be like when she and Adam wed.

  At that point in her life, she held no doubt that one day her last name would be Guthry and she’d be Adam’s wife.

  The entire last year of school, as she fell deeper and deeper in love with Adam, she kept waiting for him to propose.

  Oh, she knew it was silly when they both were so young, but Adam was int
elligent and hard working. When he wasn’t at school or with her and Carl, he worked for a nearby rancher.

  As a memory from the spring they graduated from school hit her with brutal force, she sat up in bed and lit the lamp.

  Hugging her knees to her chest, she rocked back and forth, assailed by the past.

  “Queenie! Come to the mercantile with me,” Adam begged, tugging on her hand as she hung clothes on the line behind her grandmother’s house.

  “I can’t, Adam. I’ve got to finish hanging the wash then Grandma wants me to weed the flower beds.” Tia snapped a pillowcase and hung it on the line.

  Adam handed her a clothespin and met her frown with a dimple-cheeked grin. “Aw, come on. I promise it won’t take long. If you’re worried about getting in trouble with your grandma, I’ll ask her if you can go. I’ll even help you with your chores.”

  Tia lifted the end of a sheet from the basket and handed it to Adam. She took the other end and together they hung it on the line.

  When he smiled at her with those dimples, she couldn’t tell him no. “I’ll go, but we have to finish this first.”

  Adam helped her hang the laundry on the line then the two of them snuck out of the yard and ran down the street to the mercantile. When they entered the busy store, Adam maneuvered her over to a display case of jewelry.

  As they waited for Aleta Bruner to help the customers already in line, they studied all the jewels sparkling in the case.

  “That one’s the prettiest,” Tia said, pointing to an opal brooch.

  Adam bent down and studied it. “Why do you like that one best?”

  Tia shrugged. “I read somewhere opals symbolize hope. Wouldn’t it be something to wear a little piece of hope every day?”

  “It sure would, Queenie.” Adam kissed her cheek and handed her a licorice whip before paying Aleta for the candy and walking her home.

  Tia held out the ring on her finger and studied it.

  Milky white, the opal almost looked like the polished surface of a tooth until she moved it into the light from the lamp on her bedside table. A rainbow of colors glistened in the shadows of her room.

  Iridescent flecks reflected and refracted the light like a magical stone. Tears began anew as she thought about telling Adam an opal held hope all those years ago.

  Now that she owned such a dazzling gem, she was utterly bereft of hope.

  Long into the night, Tia cried out the disappointment she’d held in check, letting her tears soak her pillow until she had no more left.

  Finally, she rose from her bed and moved on silent feet to check on Toby. Assured he slept peacefully, she brushed a lock of hair away from his forehead then left his room.

  She made herself a cup of tea and took it to the parlor where she stoked the fire.

  Curling into the rocking chair by the fireplace, she tucked her feet under her and draped a throw over her lap before turning to lift her cup from the table by the chair.

  She nearly jumped out of the seat and barely suppressed a startled squeal when Adam handed her the cup.

  “What are you doing up?” she whispered in a reproachful tone. Unsettled by his presence, she watched firelight play over the muscled contours of his bare chest.

  Grateful he’d at least pulled on his pants before he scared her half witless, she ogled his form despite her intention to look away.

  “I heard you up. Since I wasn’t sleeping, I thought I’d check on you and Toby.” Adam smirked as he took a seat in the chair on the other side of the fireplace and stretched out his long legs. “That boy is a sound sleeper.”

  “He always has been, even as a baby.” Tia stared at Adam’s bare toes, wondering how a man as big and brawny as him could always appear so graceful.

  Like most boys, Adam had gone through a gangly stage in his teens when he was all long arms and big feet, but he’d grown out of it.

  Entirely too well, if the swirling warmth in her midsection was any indication of the attraction he had the power to stir in her with his shirtless appearance.

  “I’m fine, Adam. You should get your rest.” Tia took a sip of her tea, hoping it would calm her fluttering nerves.

  Adam had never made her nervous when they were younger. He’d always been her best friend, the one person in the world she could always count on.

  However, the fidgety, invigorated feelings he inspired were undeniably new.

  “I’ll sit up with you for a while,” Adam said, crossing his ankles and placing his hands behind his head as he leaned back in the chair. “I’ve been in there tossing and turning for a while anyway.”

  “Is the bed uncomfortable? Do you need more blankets? A different pillow?” Tia started to rise but Adam waved a hand at her, motioning for her to remain seated.

  “No, Queenie, everything is fine. The bed’s comfortable. I guess my mind just doesn’t want to rest after everything that happened today.” He glanced at the clock and grinned. “Well, technically, I guess it was yesterday. It’s not every day a man finds himself married with a son.”

  Tia glared at him. “It’s not every day a man takes on the burden of responsibility for a woman and child.”

  Adam dropped his hands to his thighs and leaned forward as his look turned from amicable to scolding. “You and Toby aren’t a burden, Tia. I don’t ever want to hear you say that again and I certainly don’t want you to think it. If I didn’t want to marry you, I wouldn’t have asked. It’s not a burden when you view something as a privilege. Do you think I woke up yesterday morning expecting that sweet little boy of yours to decide he wanted me to be his daddy? That’s a blessing, Tia. A pure, unequivocal blessing.”

  Stunned, she gaped at Adam, unable to form a reply. Uncertain whether he spoke from his heart or just said words he thought she wanted to hear, something deep inside her soul whispered that she knew Adam. Knew him well enough to know he was honest and true. He’d never once given her a reason to doubt his words or his sincerity.

  Finally, she found her tongue. “Thank you, Adam. Thank you for accepting Toby and making this sacrifice for him — for us.”

  Rather than give his longing to hold her free rein, Adam leaned back in his chair once again.

  “Do you remember the time Carl decided we should build a raft and float it down the creek until we found a river?”

  Tia relaxed and smiled. “Of course! We spent weeks gathering the material to make the raft and build it down by the creek. When we finally launched it, we made it what… a dozen or so yards before it capsized. We all took a dunking in the water with nothing to show for our efforts but some soggy ol’ boards and snapped rope.”

  Quietly, Adam laughed. “At least now I could tie a knot that would hold.” He sighed as his smile faded. “Carl always came up with the best plans for adventure.”

  Tia shook her head. “No. You were the one who typically led the tomfoolery. Carl and I would have blindly followed you anywhere.”

  “You both came up with plenty of ideas, too.”

  “You were the ringleader of our little band of hooligans. Ask Arlan if you don’t remember correctly.”

  Tia thought back to the first time she met Adam. After her parents died when she was six, she came to live with her grandparents. The first Sunday she was in town, she walked into church, holding tightly to her grandmother’s hand. They slid into a pew and the boy sitting in front of Tia turned around and grinned at her with a gap-toothed smile. His dark hair was a tousled mess, but he held out a peppermint drop to her and she took it with a grin. In that moment, she’d met her first friend in Hardman and the boy she’d love with all of her heart.

  She watched Adam shiver in the midnight chill that settled over the house. “Would you like some hot tea, Adam? I could make you some hot chocolate or even warm up some broth. You’re probably hungry, since we didn’t have any supper.”

  “I wouldn’t object to some hot chocolate and cake. It was nice of Luke to bring over several pieces.” Adam rose to his feet and held out his
hand to Tia. He wasn’t really cold or hungry, but he liked the lighthearted conversation they’d had and didn’t want it to end too soon.

  “I think Filly and Ginny talked him into coming to check on us. The cake provided a good excuse,” Tia said, wrapping the throw around her shoulders when she realized she’d left her robe draped across the end of her bed.

  “Do you really think those two women would do that?” Adam waggled his eyebrows at her, making her laugh.

  “I do. Although Ginny has changed significantly from her childhood years, she is still a very busy body.” Tia poured milk into a pan and started to add wood to the stove, but Adam beat her to it. She offered him a nod of appreciation as she set about making the hot chocolate. As it warmed, she took out a platter with several slices of cake she’d tucked into the cupboard. She set one piece on a small plate and placed it on the table.

  “Don’t you want a piece?” Adam asked as Tia handed him a fork.

  “No. I’m not hungry, but I will have some hot chocolate.” She stirred the melting chocolate and watched as Adam waited for her to come to the table before he sat down to eat his cake.

  Distracted by the sight of his half-naked form, she dropped the spoon into the pan and reached in to grab it out.

  The chocolate mixture was hotter than she thought and she yanked her fingers out, blowing on the tips.

  “Careful, Queenie.” Adam’s presence surrounded her as he took her hand in his and blew on her fingers.

  The breezy warmth of his breath on her hand combined with his enticing scent caused goose bumps to break out on her skin while her legs trembled.

  When Adam brought each fingertip to his lips and licked away the chocolate clinging to them, Tia thought she might collapse in a heap right there on the kitchen floor.

  Her gaze shot to his but Adam kept his focus on her fingers, thoroughly licking each one before turning on the faucet and letting cool water run over her hand.