SEAL's Secret: A Secret Baby Military Romance

by Virginia Sexton

  I hear the faint echo of my name ring out behind me. Tobias must be coming out of his state of shock. I put on a little speed as I break out of the woods and spot Jenna getting ready to head off with a frisbee in the company of a group of kids. I holler and wave her over, and Jenna is nothing but smiles as she triangulates to meet up with me as I head for the truck.

  “Hey, Mom! Are you heading into town for some groceries or something?”

  I don’t even meet her eye — how can I? “No, honey. We’re going home.”

  She digs her heels in and comes to a halt. “What? Did you guys get into a fight?”

  A surge of irritation hits me, and I do my best to tame it before I speak. “Tobias and I do not get into fights, because there is nothing there to get into fights about, okay? We’ve already stayed too long. We need to get home. I have a lot to do.”

  I must not have buried my frustration deep enough, because Jenna gets that look on her face that tells me she knows not to say anything now — but she will later. “Fine. I’ll go get our things out of the tent.”

  I hear a bunch of hollering as Tobias exits the woods — all of his friends and family cheering for him to come over and join the party. He ignores them and makes a beeline for Jenna and I. I dig my keys out of my pocket. “I’ll have Kelly bring them to us. In the truck. Now.”

  The last thing I need is for Jenna to learn of Tobias’s potential fatherhood in this manner. I know I’m not going to be able to get into the truck and pull out before he gets to us, so I stride forward as confidently as I possibly can and meet him.

  Now that he is no longer in shock, he has a wild look in his eyes. “I need to know. If Jenna is my—”

  “You will stop right there,” I interrupt. “What is not going to happen right now is you yelling in front of my daughter and all of our family and friends that you think Jenna might be your biological child. You understand that this is not fucking happening right now?”

  That shuts him up. A little bit of the wildness seeps out of him, and I can see Tobias’s Adam’s apple make a hard swallow as he chokes down his response. He takes several calming breaths before he says in a much more cool and collected tone, “I need to know.”

  I hold both my hands up as if warding him away. “I need to think. You need to let me go right now, Tobias. You need to let me go.”

  It’s disheartening, really. The fact that this crappy little apartment is so — well, crappy — that I miss living in a tent. A few days of being back home, and I’m already going stir crazy.

  Not that I haven’t been out beating the pavement. I haven’t entrusted to simply sending out dozens of resumes on the internet every day. I had my best pant suit dry cleaned and have followed up on some of the more promising job prospects with an in-office visit. There are a couple of very real possibilities, but there’s going to be a gap between paychecks, and I’m trying not to have the worry show.

  “I’m going down to the lobby to wait for Daisy’s mom.” Jenna slings her backpack over one shoulder and comes in for a kiss.

  I present her with a cheek, and she turns so I can give her a peck as well. When I was her age, I would certainly not be this peppy before six in the morning, but Jenna is well accustomed to her early morning gymnastics practice. A knock sounded on the door, and we both furl our eyebrows at one another. No one comes visiting at this hour, and Daisy’s mother just would have texted if she got here early.

  Jenna skips over to open the door as I flip open my laptop on the little kitchen counter to check on the status of my job applications.

  The glee in her childish squeal puts ice in my veins as that name comes out: “Toby!”

  Frozen to the spot, I glance over my laptop to catch Jenna flinging herself into the big man’s arms. He takes a knee and wraps her up in a hug, those massive biceps looking giant compared to my undersized ten-year-old. His eyes are uncertain as they travel from her to me, and Tobias seems unwilling to even breathe. The anxiety and stress which had melted away from him after the first day I found him setting up tents for dozens of families is back in full force. He looks like a man uneasy with the world.

  Jenna pulls out of the hug but keeps her hands on Tobias’s shoulders, pleading with him, “You have to convince mom to go back camping again. We were having such a great time, and she’s miserable now. You can make her have a good time again, I know.”

  I’m transfixed as I see for the first time that they have the exact same ears. Not even similar — exact. A little extra curve at the bottom, just the slightest of points at the top. And then there’s that strong chin that I have always been sure is the source of Jenna’s stubbornness. Just like the last time I saw him, I find myself fighting back tears.

  Tobias continues to check between me and Jenna as he answers. “It’s probably for the best that you came home for a little while. Your mom has some things to take care of. But maybe I can convince her to let me hang around a bit, even if you guys don’t come back to the campsite.”

  Nodding her acceptance, Jenna places a peck on Tobias’s jawline and, just as she had done with me, she offers him her cheek. He looks flustered for a moment, and I’m pretty sure I even see a hint of red creep up his neck — but I see the hint of a smile as well — and he gives her a soft little kiss.

  “I have to go to practice, Toby, but I better see you later, Mister.”

  That hint of a smile breaks out into a grin as he rises to his feet. “I sure hope so, little lady.” He steps aside to let Jenna pass and then — before he has the door half shut behind him — he looks up to check in with me. “May I?”

  “Yes, I suppose we need to talk. I’m sorry for running out like that, it’s just – weird.”

  Tobias closes the door fully behind him and gives me his full attention. “Weird? Is that why you haven’t answered any of my calls?”

  I close my laptop and fold my arms. I realize too late that it’s an insecure self-defense mechanism. “I answered your texts.”

  Far from insecure or in need of self-defense, Tobias widens his stance and the puts his hands on his hips, looking incredibly intimidated without even a scowl. “I know, but I wanted to talk with you.”

  “The paternity test is at the lab.”

  His eyes turn sad before he opens his mouth to speak, nothing coming out. He tries again. “Good. Thank you.” His eyes hit the floor, breaking his confident eye contact — something I have yet to see him do. “That’s not all I wanted to talk to you about, Casey.” His gaze comes back to me, but he is unsettled and unsure. “We were having a good time, you and I.”

  He takes a step forward, and I don’t retreat. Partly because he doesn’t really intimidate me — as big as he is. Partly because I want him to get closer. My words come out sounding the opposite. “Yes, we were having a good time, but you’re leaving. And now that I’ve had some separation, I see it’s for the best.”

  His lip curls in pain, and his eyes avert to the floor before they dart back up to me. “Why? Can’t we be together for now? I don’t want to mess around with women while I’m home. I want to be with you. Only you.”

  He takes a step closer, and I put my hands out to stop him. My palms come into contact with his chest, but I don’t take them away. “I don’t want a for now. Neither does Jenna. This right here is why I haven’t gotten involved with men. I haven’t wanted someone for Jenna to get connected to — someone for me to get connected to — who will just be gone and leave us both behind.”

  Half a step more, and Tobias has taken up the space between us. Despite my words, I can’t step away nor can I take my hands from him. He leans in, his mouth inches from mine. “I don’t want to go, Casey. Please, don’t tell me to go.”

  A heartbeat goes by, then a breath, then his lips are on mine. I pushed against him with my hands, but my treacherous lips press into his. Fire courses through my veins, and a high-pitched moan of protest and absolute need makes its way out.

  That is my doing in. That is all Tobias had needed
. He surges against me, his body heated with passion. He steps me backward into the kitchen wall, and his hands run down my body. He flattens every inch of his torso and legs against mine, and I can feel him growing hard. He rubs his hardness between my legs and grabs onto my thigh, pulling me closer. He opens my mouth with his, the kiss pulling me deeper into a pit of desire.

  My hands move up his chest and wrap around his neck, pulling him closer as if there cannot be a single molecule separating us. His hands on my ass, on my breasts, up my shirt. He’s rocking against me to the slow rhythm, and visions of his body over top of mine with the water pouring down in rivulets flood my vision. My sex aches, wanting him there again. Wanting to be filled and satisfied as only Tobias has done.

  His thumb inches underneath the wire of my bra, and he kneads at the soft tissue of my breast. I push off the wall, colliding into his hard body and dive into the kiss. I’m breathing at a marathon pace now, needing more and more air to feed the frenzy welling inside of me. My hand strokes over the stubble of his hair as he pins me back against the wall, his cock rubbing hard between my legs.

  Tobias parts his lips from mine, and I whimper a complaint before panting out, “We shouldn’t. We can’t.”

  “Can’t?”

  He stays fixed on me, challenging me as he unbuttons my jeans and reaches underneath. The waistband of my panties stretch wide as his big hand ventures further south. He is met with wetness when he reaches my sex. His finger is so gentle as he slides up and down, teasing me as his hips move in unison with his petting finger. He knows I want him. He knows he can have me.

  “Tobias,” I plead.

  He leans in close — so close. “Tell me you want me to stay. Tell me you want me to make you come. Say the words: make me come.”

  I fight it — I really do. I close my eyes and lean my head against the wall, but his fingers pinch at my nipple and work between my pussy lips. His breath is hot against my cheek, and his body is hard against mine. He finds that spot under my clit and presses, sending electricity up my core. I buck, my shoulder blades pulling in.

  “Make me come, Toby.”

  His lips close on my neck, his teeth grazing over my skin. He flattens his hand over my sex, the heel of his palm pressing into my clitoris, his big fingers entering my pussy. He curls in, his fingers rubbing inside of me and his hand grinding against my button. He pinches a nipple and bites my neck. My body reacts — my spine arching into him and my hips riding his fingers. He growls and flexes his hand, pumping inside me. My eyes roll back, and my legs tense.

  Euphoria and a wave of exhaustion flow through me as I release and come. My body melts, relaxing into his as my orgasm washes over me. I breathe in a shattered gasp. My hands fall to Tobias’s waistband, and I know I haven’t had enough.

  I paw at the button of his jeans, not able to work at the simple clasp in reverse. Tobias locks onto my lips, his skilled hands doing the work for the both of us, sending both our jeans to the floor where we step out of them.

  I curl a leg up his thigh, my knee rising to his hip, needing the skin to skin contact and needing his cock to settle further between my legs. His big hand cups my thigh and lifts, keeping my back pinned to the wall as my legs wrap around him at his waist.

  I feel him beneath me — his hard shaft pressing against my entrance — and I drive down as Tobias thrusts up. I cry out with the sudden invasion of his size, but God, does it feel good. I keep crying out in a moan as Tobias crashes into me, not holding back his passion this time. His pace quickens as he growls and curses. I’ve worked myself into a screaming frenzy, every muscle in my body flexing in unison as I try to ride out the extreme sensations rocketing throughout my being. My mind goes hazy as an intense orgasm slams home and Tobias yells his release.

  Two weeks of sleeping like shit. I lay in my bed, the back of my hand over my eyes as the morning sun seeps through the canvas in my Safari tent. It’s never been this bad. I never sleep that well when I’m home, but this is different. I’m consumed. I’ve tried calling the agency that handles the paternity testing only to be told time and time again that all tests are processed in the order in which they are received.

  At least Casey is answering my calls now — and that is only adding to my sleeplessness. We’ve stayed up talking for hours, and then I lie awake for hours more going over and over her words. Dwelling on every possible hope and wallowing in every possible failure. A phone call every night, and yet she still refuses to see me. Can’t control herself when she’s with me, she says. Damn right. We have fucking dynamite. I’ve jacked off twice a day — every day — just thinking of her.

  I’ve never done this before — never felt this. I’m not this guy. I’m the guy Casey thinks I am. The guy who comes home for a couple weeks or maybe a month and then leaves again. Apparently, I’m the asshole who leaves behind babies to be raised without him. I’m that guy. I’m not the guy who touches myself because I love hearing her giggle. Who does that? Not me.

  Honestly, she’s driving me fucking nuts. I want to go full speed ahead. That’s how I tackle life. That’s how I’ve always done it. I’ll be leaving soon — back halfway across the world in a fucking desert. I have a woman, and I might even have a daughter, and I want to stake my claim. I want the world to know.

  I hear the sharp report of a snapping twig, and I’m to my feet in a split second. Not just because a few weeks can’t rid me of my battle readiness – it’s also because I know who’s coming. I fling open the tent flap, and there she is. My beautiful woman. I want to hit that full speed ahead lever, but the look on her face stays me. She scared.

  She walks cautiously into the clearing. “You kept the other tent up?”

  “I never gave up hope you’d come back.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Me, too.” God, I’m sorry about so many things in my life.

  She takes a deep breath, and it comes out in one big whoosh. “You’re the father, Tobias.”

  So much time contemplating what those words would make me feel, but I could not have expected it until now. Bliss. Sorrow. Joy. A grown man crying. Yeah, that’s right. Tears. They come to my eyes completely unbidden, and I blink rapidly to make it go away. My throat closes down on itself, and I try to speak, but I know it’s only going to come out like broken glass. I turn around in a full circle, placing my hands on top of my head and breathing deeply. I begin to bounce of the balls of my feet, feeling the distinctive needed to dance, but needing not to make a complete and utter fool of myself.

  I find my center, telling myself I can hoot and holler to my heart’s content when it’s appropriate, but right now, Casey still looks scared. I need to reassure her. We need a plan. I’ve already missed so much. “What now? Adoption? Marriage?” Her eyes widen, and I give myself an internal fuck it, man, go for it. Full steam ahead. “I have a few days before I have to leave. We can do it all. We can get the papers rolling—”

  “No, Tobias.”

  I stop dead in the water. “What? It’ll be fine. Really. Military men get married quick all the time. We can do it before I leave. We can submit the paperwork for Jenna, and she’ll be formally adopted by the time my tour is done — only three more months, then I’ll be back, and we can really work on this. We can be a family.”

  “How’s the military divorce rate?”

  Her voice is cool, and I feel the color drain from my face. She knows how to throw a straight jab. “The divorce rate is shitty. But that’s not me. That’s not us. We can do this.”

  “No, Commander Dean, that’s not how this is going to happen. You may be Jenna’s father, but she hasn’t had a father for the past ten years. She doesn’t need one tomorrow. And I don’t need a husband tomorrow. A couple of certificates is not going to make us a family.”

  She also knows how to throw a power uppercut. That one hurts. I pull myself back and conduct a mission briefing. I spent endless hours going over this scenario in my head, and her not being on board with the turbo marriage and adop
tion was always an option. And she’s painfully correct. Jenna has not had me in her life for ten years. Casey has only had me in her life for all of three weeks. I can win them. It’ll take some time, but I can win them. I may never deserve them, but I can try my damnedest to persuade her to give me a chance.

  “I don’t want to tell Jenna yet,” Casey tells me. “Not until we figure things out.”

  I try to remain calm. “What is there to figure out?”

  “I’ve been thinking about it, Tobias, and I want you to go back. I want you to spend your three months left in your tour, let this calm down, and see if you feel the same thing about how active you want to be in Jenna’s life.”

  “I don’t think three months is going to do a damn thing in how I feel about having a daughter. Or about how I feel for you. I want to be with you. Not just now — I want to come home to you, Casey.”

  She pivots back on her heels as though she wants to turn and go. “We can talk about that when you get home as well.”

  I draw near to her — not letting her get away from me again. I reach out slowly, placing my hand on her upper arm but not taking hold. “I know what I want. I want to spend the night with you — here. Will you stay with me?”

  There is uncertainty in her eyes. I can see she wants to say yes — it’s there — so close to the surface. I pull her in, taking her in my arms where she belongs. Her body reacts immediately, reaching up my chest and grabbing onto my shirt. There is so much tension in her body — she’s fighting it. I can fight, too.

  I bend to her and press my lips against hers. The heat is there immediately — that dynamite we have. She gasps air as I pull her in tightly. That beautiful, whining moan escapes her lips as our mouths move against one another. It’s there. Two weeks apart, and that spark is a flame as quick as a gunshot. Her fingers play against my chest and move up to my neck. My hands roam up her back and over her shoulder blades. I wrap my arms around her until she is cocooned in my embrace.