The Heart of Christmas

by Brenda Novak

  “How wonderful.” Her weathered face split into a grateful smile. “When you’re done, we’ll have some hot cider and cookies. I bake the best gingerbread you ever tasted. I put up jams and jellies, too, so we’ll see that you get plenty of those while you’re here.”

  Slightly alarmed that she’d accepted him into her life so readily, he nearly told her that wouldn’t be necessary. He didn’t want this poor woman to latch on to him, to think he’d somehow be able to replace her dead son or fill the hole in her heart caused by the loss of her husband. If she did, it would just bring her more pain and disappointment when he moved on. But, with “The Little Drummer Boy” playing in the background and the lights twinkling on the tree, he couldn’t allow himself to dampen her mood. She wasn’t the only one who could use a little holiday cheer.

  * * *

  The last thing Eve expected was that Brent Taylor would show up at her parents’ house for dinner. So when she drove home from the B and B and saw his Land Rover, she stomped on the brakes and sat there gaping at it.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” she muttered. What about all those excuses he’d given when they’d invited him to come this morning? He’d said he was waiting for his sister, Scarlet, to join him—to which her parents had said he could bring Scarlet (“the more, the merrier”). Then he’d said he had several things he had to get done on his computer—to which her parents had said he had to eat sometime (“It’s fine if you want to drop by for just a few minutes”). Then he’d said he’d join them if he could, but Eve had assumed that was merely an attempt to get them to give up. What could they say to “I’ll try,” except “We hope to see you”?

  Apparently “We hope to see you” had been enough to persuade him.

  And that wasn’t her only surprise. Dylan’s Jeep was parked not far from Brent’s Land Rover. Her parents hadn’t mentioned inviting Chey and Dyl, but of course this meant her best friend and her best friend’s husband would meet the man she’d been sleeping with. They’d be curious and very interested in seeing how he treated her.

  The added scrutiny was one thing she didn’t need. Brent had already told her that he wasn’t open to a relationship, and she’d adjusted her expectations accordingly. So why was he here, socializing with her friends and family? She didn’t want them setting their hearts on something that wasn’t going to happen....

  Maybe this was about the money he’d given her. Maybe he’d decided it was a significant enough sum that he’d stick around until he knew whether he’d be getting it back....

  “You could’ve communicated with me,” she grumbled, and hit the gas. She feared that if she sat there any longer, someone would spot her through the window and the whole party would come pouring out to see what was wrong.

  After pulling into her carport and cutting the engine, she climbed out. Originally, she’d intended to show up at dinner in the leggings, oversize sweater and boots she was currently wearing. She hadn’t seen any reason to get dressed up to have a home-cooked meal with her parents, even if it was a bit of a celebration. But that had changed the instant she saw Brent’s Land Rover. If he was going to be there, pride demanded that she look her best. Once he “dumped her” as planned, she’d rather not have anyone in her life thinking she hadn’t done everything she could to avoid losing another man. The way her love life had gone lately, they had to be wondering if there was something wrong with her....

  Clutching her purse to her chest, she dashed inside and searched frantically through her closet, finally settling on a pair of pencil-leg black slacks with a glittery top and new flats. Then she threw on her fake fur coat and hurried down the drive to her parents’ house.

  Taking a deep breath, she opened the door.

  As the chaos of the party enveloped her, she inhaled the wonderful smell of her mother’s cooking. If Brent stayed long enough to eat, he’d be glad of it, she told herself.

  “Eve! There you are.” Her mother came over first and gave her a hug. “Happy birthday, honey.”

  Eve lifted her wrist. “I love the watch. I wear it everywhere.”

  “I’m so glad.” She turned to indicate Brent, who was standing off to one side with Cheyenne and Dylan. “Look who managed to take a few minutes out of his busy schedule.”

  Eve had decided to act as if finding him here wasn’t a complete surprise, so she smiled warmly. “I promise you won’t be disappointed,” she said to Brent. “No one can make tamales and enchiladas like my mother. You’d think she grew up in Mexico.”

  “Oh, stop,” her mother said. “All you have to do is find some good recipes and practice. That’s what I did.”

  Brent returned Eve’s smile, both of them pretending that everything was as simple as it appeared to be and they didn’t already know their relationship was doomed. “I’m anxious to taste them.”

  Cheyenne hugged her next. “You look great!”

  “Thanks. You do, too.”

  “Stop being nice. I’m as big as a house,” she said with a self-deprecating laugh.

  “You should be big when you’re about to have a son or daughter.”

  Cheyenne rubbed her tummy as if she really didn’t mind, and Dylan stepped between them. “Happy birthday. Again,” he said.

  “This seems to be the birthday that won’t end,” she whispered when they embraced, and was rewarded with one of his knowing grins as they parted.

  “Would you like a glass of wine, babe?” Her father held up the bottle and almost started to pour before she could respond.

  “No, thanks.”

  He frowned, his arm still in pouring position. “Are you sure? I bought your favorite chardonnay.”

  She wanted a drink. But as long as there was any possibility she might be pregnant, she wasn’t going to have one. “Maybe later,” she said, so he wouldn’t find it odd that she’d refuse. She accepted a glass of sparkling water instead.

  As her mother went into the kitchen to finish the last-minute preparations, they stood around visiting. Eve thought she was doing an admirable job of taking Brent’s presence in stride. But, if his being here was for show, he didn’t seem to be making much of an effort to fit in. Although the conversation often revolved around him, since he was new, he gave monosyllabic answers when he could and skipped all extraneous details when he couldn’t. Otherwise, he didn’t speak. Eve wondered why he bothered to stay. He could drop by her place to discuss his money later on....

  She decided she’d talk to him privately and suggest he do just that. She excused herself to use the restroom and purposely remained detached from the group, replacing an ornament that had fallen off her mother’s tree. But he didn’t approach her as he could have. It was Dylan who walked over. As he acknowledged her with a nod, she glanced at Brent standing against the wall, holding the beer he’d requested instead of wine. He was watching them, watching her, as he’d been doing ever since she arrived. But she couldn’t figure out what was going through his mind. Some deep emotion seemed to move under his skin, and yet his expression remained inscrutable.

  When their eyes locked, he didn’t smile, but she could feel a jolt of heat in his gaze, and it sent chills of awareness racing down her spine. He was here because he still wanted her, she suddenly realized.

  That was as shocking as it was exhilarating. But if he wanted her so badly, why did he keep trying to push her away?

  She had no answers. She only knew he was impossible to reach—and equally impossible to resist.

  Her father walked up to Brent, inadvertently cutting him off from view, which was fortunate since she couldn’t seem to peel her eyes away on her own. She’d felt puppy love for her high school boyfriend, and she’d fallen in real love with Ted. But their relationship had been more about respect and admiration and trust than arousal. What she felt for Brent was too new to be about more than chemistry and raw desire, but that desire was overpowering enough to leave her rattled.

  “Eve?” Dylan said.

  She curved her lips into a smile as s
he shifted her attention, but that unexpected exchange between her and Brent had played out right in front of Dylan, and she had no doubt he’d noticed. “What?”

  “You really like this guy, huh?”

  Eve cleared her throat and turned so that, even if her father moved to one side, Brent wouldn’t be in her line of sight. “He’s nice, I guess.”

  “Nice?” Dylan repeated, as if he could see straight through her.

  “Okay, he’s got to be the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on. But if this is where you warn me not to get my heart broken, don’t worry. I’m not expecting anything permanent with Brent. He’s only in town for a short time.”

  Cheyenne’s husband took another sip of his beer as he considered her response. “Is that for real? If so, it’s the best news I’ve heard all night.”

  She and Dylan had gotten off to a rocky start when he’d first begun dating Cheyenne, but these days Eve thought so highly of him and his opinion that she couldn’t help being disappointed by what he’d just said. “Why don’t you like Brent?”

  “I didn’t say I didn’t like him. I’m sure he’s great...in lots of ways.”

  “But...something has you concerned.”

  “Everyone who cares about you should be concerned. He’s completely closed off. One hundred percent defensive. Constantly in fight or flight mode.”

  It wasn’t like Dylan to be this opinionated, not so soon after meeting someone. “How can you tell?” she asked.

  “Trust me. You trade punches with enough guys, you learn to identify the dangerous ones.”

  He was referring to the days when, after his father had gone to prison, he’d become an MMA fighter in order to support his four younger brothers. His level head and vast experience with fighting lent him credibility. But she couldn’t believe Brent was dangerous. He’d touched her so gently, and she’d never felt the slightest bit scared—

  The memory of when he’d awakened and slammed her onto her back suddenly came to mind. He’d scared her then, hadn’t he? In that moment he’d seemed perfectly capable of violence. Even afterward, he’d acted oddly cautious, as if he expected someone to jump out of the closet and threaten his life.

  “What is it?” Dylan’s expression showed fresh concern.

  “Nothing,” she replied. “Nothing at all. He’s had plenty of chances to hurt me and he’s been nothing but—” she flashed him a grin to throw him off track “—accommodating.”

  “Don’t let that pretty face fool you, Eve. That or whatever other assets he’s got.” The last part was the response she’d been looking for when she started to tease him. She’d been hoping he’d lighten up. But his levity came and went that quickly. When he spoke again, he was serious. “This guy’s a hard-ass. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s done time.”

  “That’s crazy!”

  Dylan shrugged. “I could be wrong, but...he’s on edge, and that puts me on edge.”

  Maybe Dylan was right. But did that mean they should all turn their backs on him?

  Eve was convinced that Brent needed someone and she couldn’t keep herself from responding. My life feels empty enough, he’d said when she suggested he get with someone like Noelle.

  But if she was pregnant, and he wasn’t capable of loving her or being a good father, even at a distance...

  “I told you, he’s only in town for a short time,” she said.

  Her mother called them all to the dining table, but Dylan grasped her arm before she could move away.

  “Just keep your eyes open,” he said. “A lot can happen in a short time,” he said.

  If only he knew what had already happened—and how it might affect her future. “I’ll be careful,” she promised.

  11

  He’d fallen into a snow globe, Rex decided, into one of those perfect little Christmas scenes he’d peered into so often when he was a child visiting his grandmother’s house. All that was missing was the snow.

  He told himself a million times to leave Eve’s parents’ house. He had no business being here. He couldn’t even say why he’d come, except that he hadn’t wanted to make Eve look bad by proving to be so much less than the kind of man they’d expect her to bring home. He’d had enough disapproval over the years and didn’t want to face it here, just when his life felt like a clean slate again. Also, his behavior reflected on her—there was no escaping that—so he’d planned to put in a brief appearance, to spend enough time that they wouldn’t wonder if she’d lost her mind in allowing him to be so intimate with her.

  He’d already stayed longer than he’d meant to, however. The food smelled so good, the house felt so warm and comfortable and the people seemed so happy that he couldn’t resist wanting to be there, to belong to something magical like this again. Since he’d destroyed his own family, this was the closest he might ever get to what he’d once enjoyed.

  Almost everyone treated him as if he was more than welcome. The only person who seemed to recognize him for what he was—a wolf in sheep’s clothing—was Dylan Amos. Every time Dylan caught his eye, he seemed to issue an unspoken warning: Don’t you dare hurt these people.

  But that didn’t offend Rex. If he’d been in Dylan’s shoes, he’d be doing everything he could to protect those he loved, too. The man had good instincts.

  “So where does your family live?” Cheyenne asked as Eve’s mother circled the table, serving the enchiladas.

  Eve’s pregnant friend, Dylan’s wife, had taken the seat across from him and was watching him curiously.

  “Los Angeles, for the most part,” he said.

  She tucked her long, honey-colored hair behind her ears. “Will you be joining them for Christmas?”

  “No.” There was nothing to go back to. Mike, his oldest brother, had moved to San Diego years ago. He was married, had two kids and a job heading up the engineering department of a plastics company. Rex spoke to him occasionally. Mike didn’t seem to blame him for what had happened to Logan as much as their older brother did. Dennis, a heart surgeon in L.A., was also married and had three kids. Dean, their father, lived in Los Angeles, too, an hour south of Dennis. According to what Mike had told him several months ago, their father was finally getting past their mother’s death and was even beginning to date.

  Rex was glad for him but the idea of Dean with someone else felt so foreign that he couldn’t imagine it. He missed his father the most. Despite how profoundly he’d disappointed his mother, how much he regretted that she was gone and that he’d never have the chance to ask her forgiveness, it was his relationship with his father—or lack thereof—that had caused him the most pain. But Logan had been their father’s favorite. Whenever he’d contacted Dean, which had only been a handful of times since he’d left, it just reminded him of how and why he’d lost his youngest son, and everything Rex had put him through.

  “His sister will be joining him here any day,” Eve’s mother volunteered.

  Rex had almost forgotten about Scarlet. With her dark hair and large, luminous eyes, she didn’t look anything like him. But he guessed that didn’t matter, not in the age of the blended family.

  Cheyenne gave him a gentle smile. “I bet that’ll be nice. Sometimes smaller groups are less stressful. Not all families are the havens they’re supposed to be.”

  That comment took him by surprise. He’d expected her to be as untrusting as her husband—or as suspicious as Eve’s father had been when they’d first met this morning. Coming here tonight had taken the edge off that at least.

  “Are you speaking from experience?” he asked.

  She laughed. “Yes. Not these days, but...I had an interesting childhood.”

  Rex thought it was nice of her to try and make him more comfortable. He would never have imagined that everything hadn’t always been perfect in her world—because it certainly seemed perfect now. Her husband acted as if she meant everything to him.

  “Fortunately, people don’t have to be related to become a family,” Charlie said, covering Che
yenne’s hand with his own.

  Cheyenne sent Eve’s father a grateful smile. Rex could appreciate Charlie’s obviously paternal love for someone who wasn’t actually his daughter and he admired Cheyenne for being so kind. But he wasn’t in the situation she assumed. There was nothing wrong with his family—except him.

  “Do you have any other siblings, Brent?” Cheyenne asked.

  He was so distracted by his food, by having a home-cooked meal in front of him, he didn’t answer. It wasn’t until everyone went still and looked up expectantly that he realized she’d been talking to him. Although he’d used various aliases since dropping out of The Crew, he still had to use a fictional surname. Right now that name was Taylor, but he’d gone back to Rex three years ago, and was no longer used to answering to anything else. Unless he was paying strict attention, “Brent” occasionally threw him.

  “Sorry,” he said. “What’d you say?”

  The tension eased when he made it seem as if he hadn’t heard her.

  “I wondered whether you have any siblings besides your sister.”

  “He has two brothers, as well,” Eve announced, her answer so quick and to the point it gave Rex the impression that she wanted to keep the questions to a minimum as much as he did. “One’s a chemical engineer and the other’s a doctor,” she added, offering those details before her friend could ask. She seemed to think that should be the end of it but, of course, it wasn’t. Cheyenne was too eager to get to know him.

  “And you said they’re both in L.A.?”

  “Just Dennis,” he replied, “the doctor.”

  When Eve stiffened at his side and glanced over at him, Rex sensed that what he’d just said had taken her by surprise or was somehow significant to her. But he couldn’t imagine why. She didn’t even know his real name. There was no way she could connect him to one of the many, many doctors in SoCal. “Do you know a Dennis in Los Angeles?” he asked.

  Eve took a drink of water. Then she smiled, although it looked strained, and shook her head. “No, we have a good friend who lives there, though. She married Simon O’Neal, the actor? You’ve probably heard of him.”