Hard loving man

by Lorraine Heath

  “No, Jack. I’m fully clothed.”

  “That’s a shame. We could get into some kinky phone sex.”

  “We tried that once,” she reminded him a little testily.

  “It worked at my end.”

  It had worked at hers as well. Since she’d refused to go out with him, to be seen with him in public, he’d taken to calling her every night. At twenty-two, she’d been flattered and frightened by his attention. She’d had a disastrous relationship in high school, her first encounter with betrayal. She’d been hesitant to get involved with anyone else—until Jack. She’d taken a chance with him. One of his looks could heat her body, steam her senses. She’d been naive to think she could handle him back then. She wasn’t even certain she could handle him now. And she certainly wasn’t going to put her heart at risk again.

  “Jack, I really need to go. I’ll see you Saturday.”

  She hung up, her hands shaking, her body trembling. She tried not to picture him turning the water back on, standing beneath the spray, rubbing soap over his body. Why was it so difficult not to think about him?

  What was she doing inviting Jack Morgan back into her life? Other than leaving the way open to having herself labeled as certifiably insane, she was playing with fire. He had the power to stir to life all the ashes of her past, a past that revealed her weaknesses and failings. He could help her move, but she wouldn’t open her heart up to him. Not again.

  It simply hurt too damned much to be constantly reminded of past mistakes.

  Chapter 7

  “So, where are they?” Madison asked impatiently as she stared out the dining-room window that overlooked the stairs and parking lot.

  “They should be here any minute,” Kelley told her.

  She’d been distracted all week. Not with the move but with the idea of spending a good portion of the day with Jack. She’d had to grade essay papers two or three times because she kept losing her train of thought. She’d asked a student to read a passage, and then she’d drifted off into thoughts of Jack. Jack in his office. Jack drinking coffee in her kitchen. Jack standing naked in his shower. Jack standing naked in her shower.

  Dangerous, dangerous thoughts.

  “I can’t believe you didn’t put on makeup,” Madison said.

  “We’re going to work hard, work up a sweat. I didn’t see any reason to get dressed up.”

  Besides, she needed to make certain she didn’t do anything to lure Jack into making advances. Her defenses were no match for his offense. She’d gathered her hair back into a ponytail. She’d pulled on a T-shirt over a cotton bra. Over that, she was wearing an unbuttoned cotton shirt, the hem flapping around her hips. If she didn’t feel sexy, she wouldn’t be sexy, and he wouldn’t view her as sexy. That was her mantra. Faded jeans and jogging shoes completed her ensemble.

  It was a move-furniture-and-unpack-boxes day. Not a find-out-if-Jack-was-as-good-now-as-he-was-then day. The womanly part of her couldn’t see how he could have done anything but improve over the years. What he’d lacked in finesse in his youth, he’d made up for with enthusiasm. If the heated looks he’d given her in the kitchen were any indication, he’d added both finesse and patience to his repertoire. She was probably a fool not to entice him into a firsthand demonstration of what he’d learned in the passing years.

  “I can’t wait to get out of here,” Madison mumbled.

  “With Jack’s help, we ought to be able to get everything carted over to the rental house today.”

  “Even if everything isn’t moved, I’m sleeping over there tonight,” Madison said.

  Kelley walked over and tugged on Madison’s short hair. “I didn’t realize how much you’d hate living in an apartment.”

  “It just makes me feel all closed in.”

  Madison stood straighter and stared more intently through the window. “What color’s his truck? Two black ones just pulled in.”

  “That’s probably him, then.” She peered over Madison’s shoulder. Jack was getting out of his truck. Lord help her.

  His black T-shirt, outlining every thick, corded muscle in his chest, back, and upper arms, was tucked into snug jeans. He wore a baseball cap and big grin as he said something to the three very young men clambering out of the truck that had pulled up beside his.

  “I thought he’d bring off-duty cops with him,” Madison muttered.

  Kelley heard the uneasiness in Madison’s voice. Kelley had expected off-duty cops as well. She recognized one of the boys. He was in her English class. Chris Farmer. Based on the camaraderie flowing between the boys, she’d bet they were all friends in spite of the fact that Chris wore a cowboy hat and boots while one boy had spiked hair and the other had what she’d call a normal haircut, parted on one side with bangs falling in the front.

  “Why did he have to bring them?” Madison mumbled as she moved away from the window.

  “Do you know them?”

  Madison looked as though she wished she was anywhere but where she was. “No.” She grimaced. “I mean, I’ve seen two of them in the hallway.”

  “Then this is good,” Kelley said, trying to hide her own concerns over the situation. She didn’t mind that Madison wasn’t dating yet. Although she didn’t want her to live like a nun, she wasn’t sure she wanted Madison to hang out with boys who were on such good terms with Jack. Bad boys tended to draw bad boys. Still, to get through this day, she had to remain positive. “You’ll get a chance to get to know them.”

  “Why would I want to? They look totally dorky.”

  “Fine.” She wasn’t in the mood to deal with an irritable Madison and a hotter-than-sin Jack. “I’ll tell Jack we’ve changed our minds and don’t want their help. Moving the furniture will certainly be more difficult—”

  “No! Their being here is okay. I mean, I don’t have to talk to them or anything.”

  “I guess if you want to use hand signals to indicate what we need done, that’s fine.”

  Madison stuck out her tongue and ran her hands over her hair. “God, I hate being new here.”

  She wasn’t certain Madison would believe her, but Kelley could relate. She’d been lonely a good deal of the time she’d taught that first year. In the two months since she’d returned, she occasionally had coffee with a couple of the teachers, but she hadn’t really developed any friendships. She gazed back out the window.

  Jack was walking toward the apartment, the boys in tow. In his youth, he’d swaggered with bravado. Now, he strode with confidence. Where before he’d carried a huge chip on his shoulder and worn anger like a comfortable leather jacket, now he seemed more at ease with himself.

  She’d noted the physical changes immediately. The inner changes were more subtle but just as dangerous. She stepped away from the window, mentally shoring up her defenses.

  The doorbell chimed. Popping her knuckles, she glanced over at Madison. Why did she get the impression they were both dreading the next few hours, and not for the reasons they should be?

  She forced a bright smile and yanked open the door. “Come on in.”

  Each boy politely greeted her. She always felt incredibly old when they addressed her as Spencer. But she knew she needed to maintain the formality. Adding to the difficulty was the realization that Jack had been only a little older than these boys when she’d first met him. For that matter, she hadn’t been much older then, either.

  Strange how, in retrospect, she could see how young they’d both truly been.

  Jack led the way inside, glancing around as he did so, looking with what Kelley suspected were the sharp eyes of a cop. He settled his attention on Madison. “Hey, kid, you ready to get out of this dump?”

  Madison nodded quickly, her gaze darting between Jack and the three boys who flanked him like outlaws ready for a gun duel. Where had smart-mouthed Madison gone?

  “Everybody knows Madison, right?” Jack asked.

  “No,” the boys mumbled.

  “No?” Jack repeated. “What? You walk through the ha
llways with your head up your butt?”

  “More like in his books,” the boy with brown spiked hair said.

  “Right.” Jack clapped Chris on his shoulder. “This is Chris Farmer. Avoid him. He’s really smart.”

  “I’m smart,” Madison blurted, so obviously offended that it was a little funny.

  “Yeah?” Jack grinned. “You could have fooled me the other night.”

  Madison glowered, her cheeks turning red. Kelley was surprised she didn’t have a comeback.

  “These other guys are Bryan Jones and Rick Lang,” Jack continued. “You and Rick can discuss hair tips.”

  “Hey, Chief, give me a break, will you, man?” Rick of the spiked hair said. “My dad is, like, terminally bald. I’ve gotta have fun with my hair while I’ve still got it.”

  “Actually,” Madison said hesitantly, “the baldness gene is passed from mother to son, so you have to look at your maternal grandfather to know whether or not you’ll be bald.”

  “No shit?” Rick asked.

  “Hey!” Jack barked, and everyone—Kelley included—jumped. “Watch your mouth. We’ve got ladies present.”

  “Right,” Rick mumbled. “Sorry, Chief.”

  “Yeah, he’ll wash out your mouth if he doesn’t like what you say,” Madison warned.

  “That is so old-school,” Rick said with an exaggerated roll of his eyes.

  Madison actually grinned shyly at him, shifting her stance, tucking her arms beneath her breasts.

  “Old-school or not, I’ll do it,” Jack assured them. “Now, let’s get a quick assessment of what we’ve got here, and we’ll figure out the best way to proceed.” He turned sharply to Kelley. “All the furniture goes?”

  Almost stunned by his sudden switch into action, she nodded.

  “Appliances?”

  “Refrigerator, washer, and dryer.” She pointed. “That’s Madison’s room. The one on the other side of the living room is mine.”

  “Madison, show the guys your room,” he ordered. “I’ll take Spencer’s.”

  He walked across the apartment, a man with a purpose. She heard one of the boys exclaim that Madison’s ugly red furniture was totally awesome. He was bemoaning the fact that his parents wouldn’t let him do what he wanted with his furniture. Even kids in small towns had secret fantasies.

  As for her secret fantasies…she followed Jack into her bedroom. He stood in the center of her room, staring at her bed. The mattress was bare. She’d already bundled up the sheets and bedding. She could well imagine what was running through his mind: memories of the one night he’d been in that bed. For the longest time, she wouldn’t wash the sheets, crying herself to sleep countless nights surrounded by his scent. Until the fragrance had faded—just like her memories of him.

  “I thought you might bring your son,” she said, to distract him and herself. She hadn’t actually thought it, she’d hoped it. She really wanted to meet his child. She had such a clear picture of him after hearing his voice on the phone. A younger version of Jack. Untainted.

  “Are you kidding? He’d want to help, so it would take us twice as long. Serena took him and Riker paintballing.”

  “Serena?”

  “My neighbor. Her husband and I served in the army together. He was killed, so she and I sorta lean on each other. Riker is her son.”

  “Riker?” She was beginning to sound like an echo.

  He grinned in a sad sort of way. “Yeah, his dad was a huge Star Trek fan. He actually dragged me to a Star Trek convention once. Let me tell you, some of those people need a reality check.”

  “I can’t picture you at a Star Trek convention.”

  “My life took some unexpected turns, but for the most part, the roads have led me where I wanted to go.”

  She was astounded by how content he seemed with his life. She was glad things had worked out so well for him. Even if he’d broken her heart before he’d begun his journey to where he was now.

  “Speaking of unexpected turns, it was considerate of you to bring some boys Madison’s age to help with the moving,” she said as she neared him. “She’s had a difficult time making friends.”

  “Don’t kid yourself.” He caught her with a gaze that mirrored longing and desire. It heated her to the core. “Being considerate had nothing to do with it. I didn’t want any competition.”

  He took a step closer, and she found herself staring up into his blue eyes, eyes that during the storm of passion turned to the color of midnight. She told herself to move away, to run, to hide, but it was as though his body was a huge magnet and hers nothing more than tiny slivers of desire, drawn against her will toward him.

  “I remember the bed,” he said. “I wondered if you still had it.”

  “Jack—”

  He grazed the edge of his thumb along her cheek. “Do you know how many times I’ve thought of you this week?”

  She wasn’t going to admit it to him, but she’d probably thought of him just as often.

  “We didn’t work then, we wouldn’t work now.”

  “I think you’re afraid we would work,” he said.

  Yes, she was. But for how long? She didn’t know if she could survive another failed relationship. So she searched for an excuse that wouldn’t reveal her insecurities. “Everything I have to give right now has to go to Madison.”

  “Devoting yourself completely to one person can destroy you. You need balance in your life.”

  She scoffed, crossing her arms beneath her breasts in a protective gesture. “You sound like a self-help guru.”

  “I’ve taken a few psych courses.”

  Her mouth dropped open, her eyes widened. “Are you telling me you’ve taken college classes?”

  He skimmed his thumb along her jaw. “Depends. Is a guy with a higher education a turn-on for you?”

  “You barely made it through high school,” she reminded him.

  “Not to mention all the damaging notations they made on my permanent record. But a smart guy can work his way around a less-than-stellar past. And I’m a very smart guy. You said so yourself that day you came to my trailer.”

  The day she’d had to admit to herself that Jack was in danger of being more than a student to her. She’d hated seeing where he lived, how he lived. At the same time, she’d felt a burgeoning respect for him. At nineteen, he was working and supporting himself while still going to school.

  He lowered his head slightly. “Remember that day, Kelley? Remember how it felt to have my mouth against yours?”

  Oh, yes, she remembered. She remembered everything about every moment she’d been in that trailer.

  “Hey, Chief?”

  She tried to step away, but Jack grabbed her arm as he looked past her. “Yeah, Chris.”

  She couldn’t believe how normal his voice sounded. If she’d been forced to speak, her voice would have echoed breathless anticipation.

  “Where do you want us to start?” Chris asked.

  “Let’s get the furniture out of the front rooms first. It’ll make it easier to carry the beds and dressers through.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “I’ve got an ice chest in the bed of my truck filled with drinks. Make sure everyone knows it’s there. I don’t want anyone getting heatstroke on me. Emergency room is a bitch on the weekends.”

  “Gotcha.”

  Chris disappeared, and Kelley wrenched free. “We’re through here, Jack.”

  He hitched up a corner of his mouth into a cocky grin. “Hardly.”

  He walked out of the room, and she dropped onto the bed. How was it that after all this time, he still had the ability to turn her knees to jelly with nothing more than a touch and a promise?

  There was something to be said for watching young men haul furniture. And Jack Morgan was very much still a young man.

  While Kelley and Madison carried the lighter boxes downstairs to be placed in the back of one truck, Jack carted the couch down the stairs, holding one end while two of the boys held the
other. She silently cursed him for wearing a T-shirt that was snug enough to outline every bunched muscle, resentfully thanked him. Any woman would appreciate his masculine display.

  He’d definitely filled out, firmed up, toned up. Not that he’d been a poor male specimen before, but now it was as though he encompassed every female’s fantasy. And he took absolute pleasure in knowing that he did.

  Every time he caught Kelley childishly gaping at him, he’d give her a slow, sensual smile that implied he knew exactly down which road her fantasies were traveling, and more, he was inviting her to sample again what he had to offer.

  And he was right. She feared sampling because she was afraid a sample of Jack Morgan wouldn’t be enough. It hadn’t been nine years ago. He hadn’t committed totally to her then. Was he a man who could commit now?

  His marriage to Stephanie hadn’t lasted, but, as he’d pointed out, no one had really expected it to. But he had a son to raise, and Kelley had Madison. If she couldn’t be an effective mother to Madison, how would she fare as the stepmother for a child whose mother had stolen Jack away from Kelley?

  She gave herself a mental shake. She was carrying this scenario way too far.

  She watched as he and the boys situated the couch where he wanted it in the bed of his truck, nestled against the love seat. He stood back, studying their efforts, mentally measuring the remaining space.

  “We can get all the dining-room chairs in my truck, the table in yours, Rick. Madison, can you reach the cooler in the bed of my truck and toss me a drink?”

  Madison started to clamber onto the truck, stopped when Rick put his hand on her arm, and glared at him.

  “I was just going to help you,” he said, releasing his hold and stepping back.

  “I can do it.” She managed on her own, but Kelley figured probably not with as much grace as she would have liked.

  “She didn’t have boyfriends in Dallas,” Jack said in a low voice near Kelley’s ear.

  “No.” Then she reluctantly admitted, “I’m not letting her date yet.”