Hard loving man

by Lorraine Heath

  “Hey, Dad, is it time for us to do the rides yet?” Jason asked just before he shoved a billowy cloud of cotton candy into his mouth.

  “Not yet,” Jack said. “Let’s go see the livestock, then I’ll take everything out to the truck. Then we’ll do the rides.” He teasingly snitched some of Kelley’s cotton candy. “If that’s all right with you.”

  “I was wondering what you were going to do with all these stuffed animals.”

  In addition to the two huge ones he’d won for her, he’d helped each boy win a smaller one of his own. Riker had a gorilla, and Jason had a green, big-headed thing that she thought was some sort of alien.

  “There is a method to my madness,” he assured her. “I think the guys in the booths let people win more easily early on in the evening. We’re a walking advertisement for the odds of winning.”

  “You’re like a big kid here.”

  His bright smile subtly turned into one that carried adult promises. “I’m far from being a child.”

  Shaking her head slightly, she tore her gaze from his powerful one. He had eyes that could hold a woman captive and melt her resolve, make her realize that being with him was where she wanted to be.

  After darkness completely descended, the lights of the Midway beamed a little more brightly, warmed and excited, and invited in the fun. After Jack had taken all the stuffed animals to the truck, he, Kelley, and the boys had shored up their energy with salted pretzels, more cotton candy, and another round of corn dogs. Then they’d headed for the rides.

  They’d walked through the crazy house, where floors and walls moved, mirrors reflected distorted shapes, and flashing lights created strange illusions. They’d ridden the Tilt-a-Whirl, the twister, and an awful swinging Viking ship that had made Kelley fear she was going to bring up the latest barrage of carnival food that had invaded her stomach. She couldn’t decide why carnivals made the most unattractive-looking food appear appealing.

  Kelley had determined quite quickly that the big roller coaster was holding the boys’ main interest. But it was to be the last ride of the night. A reward for good behavior.

  As they stood in line to ride the Ferris wheel, she couldn’t help but reflect on Jack’s parenting style. He seemed to come by it naturally. While she struggled with every aspect of taking care of Madison, he had a comfortable rapport with the boys. Friendly yet never letting them forget that he was the parent.

  “I don’t suppose when we’re finished here, we could ride the carousel,” Kelley said.

  Both boys looked as though they might be ill.

  “That’s a sissy ride,” Jason said.

  “For babies,” Riker concurred.

  Jack grinned at her. “If it was just you and me, babe, I’d take you.”

  And she knew without a doubt that he would. He’d ride the sissy ride with her. When the breeze had begun to turn cooler, he’d given her his denim jacket. And they were holding hands.

  “Is the coaster next, Dad?” Jason asked.

  Jack gave a long, slow nod. “If you boys are ready to call it a night.”

  They looked at each other, a silent communicating that Kelley had seen them do often throughout the evening. It was almost as if they were twins, so in tune with each other.

  Finally, Jason turned his attention back to Jack. “Yeah, we’re ready for the coaster.”

  “All right. Soon as we’re done with the Ferris wheel,” Jack said.

  The boys did a little knuckle-knocking thing that Kelley figured represented a high five—the popular means of expressing oneself in her day.

  “They are so cute,” Kelley said.

  “Give them a few years. The teen years are hard on guys.”

  “Oh, and you think they’re easy on girls?”

  “I think adolescence sucks. Period.”

  The Ferris wheel began its slow unloading-and-loading process. The boys clambered onto the bench seat.

  “No craziness, now,” Jack called out to them. “I’ll be right behind you, so I can see everything you do.”

  Grinning, they waved as the wheel carried them up. The next compartment fell into line. Kelley slid onto the cold metal seat. Jack joined her. The metal bar was slammed into place. A jolt, the seat swung slightly, and she watched as the ground moved away from her.

  “Have I mentioned that I’m afraid of heights?” she asked.

  He placed his arm around her. “I won’t let you fall.”

  He said it with confidence, as though he had the power to save her if the seat came loose—while he absolutely couldn’t.

  “It’s silly, I know it’s silly,” she said as she took a deep breath.

  “So why’d you agree to go on the ride with us?” he asked.

  “Just caught up in the moment, I guess.”

  The ride jerked to a stop, and she slammed her eyes closed. “I hate this part.”

  “Think about something else.”

  Opening her eyes, she turned to him. “I can’t believe the patience you have with the boys.”

  “I’m sorta reliving my own childhood through them, I guess. I always wanted to come to the fair but never had anyone interested in taking me. The year I turned sixteen and got my driver’s license, I came every night. I barely had enough money for a ticket to get in, but that didn’t matter. I just liked being here, being part of it all.”

  “Did you ever think about running off with the carnival?”

  “Sure, but I figured working at the carnival wasn’t nearly as much fun as playing at it.”

  The Ferris wheel started up again.

  “Did your mother ever return to Hopeful?”

  “Nope. I don’t seem to have much luck at holding onto women.”

  “I don’t think you should count your mother or Stephanie in that equation.”

  “Where do you fit in the equation?”

  No longer sure, she simply shook her head. “I don’t know.” She turned the conversation away from her and back to the boys. “You seem to have given Jason a strong foundation.”

  “I tried to. My old man bailed out when I was born. Took off for parts unknown. At least, that’s what my mom always said. I didn’t want that for Jason.” He held her gaze. “But sooner or later, he’s going to start asking questions that I’m not going to know how to answer.”

  “Is he the reason you took psychology courses?”

  “No, I actually took them to help me with law enforcement.”

  “Where did you find the time?”

  “Correspondence courses, classes, and summer school. Serena was a big help, watching Jason whenever I needed her to.”

  She grinned. “Sounds like a lot of psychology classes.”

  “They weren’t all psych courses. I earned a degree in criminal justice.”

  Surprised by what he’d said, she stared at him. “You earned a degree?”

  “BA. But you want to hear the real kicker?”

  She nodded.

  “I’m thinking of going for my master’s.”

  “Oh, Jack.” She was beginning to think she hadn’t known him at all. He’d accepted the responsibility of raising his son as a single parent. And from what she’d witnessed tonight, she knew beyond a doubt that he was a good parent. He’d gotten a higher education, had achieved far more than she’d ever expected of him. “I’m so proud of you. I wish I’d been there to see you get your diploma.”

  “I wish you’d been there, too. I worked my butt off for the damn thing.”

  She could well imagine that he had. A single parent, working, going to school. While she’d recognized that Jack had a strength of character that he kept hidden, she hadn’t realized he had such a driving need to succeed, a determination to better his life to the extent that he had. “You’re a remarkable man, Jack.”

  “Still scared?” he asked.

  She nodded slightly. She was terrified. Not of the ride but of where her heart was leading her—toward this man.

  He cupped her cheek, tightened his hold
on her, and drew her closer. “I’m in a damned-if-I-do, damned-if-I-don’t place,” he said roughly just before he lowered his mouth to hers.

  He tasted of cotton candy, strange considering that the heat of his kiss could melt sugar. He boldly swept his tongue through her mouth. She thought his kiss alone would have made her dizzy, but with the breeze flowing around her and the big wheel circling, she was certain it was only her imagination that made it seem as though the ride were spinning out of control.

  More than likely, it was she. With one hand, she clutched his shoulder, while fisting the other around his shirt. She leaned into the kiss as though they weren’t adults, circling high above the ground in a creaking, swaying metal seat.

  The wheel jerked to a halt. Dazed, Kelley leaned back, her lips swollen and tingling. Jack slowly stroked the edge of his thumb over her bottom lip.

  “The ride’s almost over,” he said.

  She had a feeling it was only just beginning.

  Chapter 12

  “Home sweet home.”

  Jack shifted his gaze to Kelley. Even with the street-lights, the porch light, and the outside light, he couldn’t see into her eyes, couldn’t tell what her first impression of his home was. Within the truck, her face was nothing more than shadows.

  His one-story house represented middle-class America. For him, it had been a gigantic leap up the social ladder. But for Kelley, it probably wasn’t too impressive. She’d always had this air about her that spoke of wealth, a subtle thing that indicated an absence of hard times.

  “Let me get Riker to his mom, then maybe you’d like to come inside while you’re waiting for Madison. See what I’ve done with the place.”

  “I’d like that,” she said softly.

  He climbed out of the truck, walked around to the passenger side, and opened the door for her. Once she’d stepped out, he opened the half-door and lifted a sleeping Riker into his arms.

  The poor kid had hurled chunks after the roller-coaster ride. Plans had changed at that moment. Kelley had offered to ride shotgun in case either of the boys got sick on the way home. She’d called Madison with the change in plans and instructions to pick Kelley up on the way home—at midnight.

  Jack turned in time to see Serena flying out of her house, wearing her robe and fuzzy slippers as she tore across the front yard, a woman with a purpose. Jack had felt obligated to call her and tell her about her son’s upset stomach. He should have known she’d react as though he’d called to announce that Riker had contracted SARS.

  “How is he?” she asked when she got close enough to press her hand to her son’s forehead.

  “Fine. I think it was just the excitement—”

  “That followed by a half-dozen hot dogs and no telling what else. I know you, Jack Morgan. Junk food is the bane of your existence.”

  The last thing he needed was a dressing down, especially in front of Kelley. “Kelley, this is Serena, Riker’s mom.”

  Serena turned as though just realizing Kelley was standing there. When her son was involved, the woman tended to narrow her focus way down, as though automatic blinders suddenly emerged from the side of her head. Jack worried about that aspect of her personality sometimes, even though he knew it was really none of his business.

  The women greeted each other, and Jack thought he could sense a subtle sizing up. Men were never that restrained.

  “Let me help Serena get Riker to bed, then I’ll be back for Jason,” Jack told Kelley. Although he hadn’t gotten sick, Jason had fallen asleep on the drive home, no doubt a result of the late night and all the excitement.

  “I’ll keep an eye on him,” Kelley promised.

  Jack liked the sound of that, her keeping watch over his son. He wouldn’t mind making it a permanent arrangement, although he figured she’d bolt if he shared that little tidbit with her. He headed for Serena’s house with Serena keeping pace beside him, her robe flapping at her calves.

  “I didn’t realize there was a new woman in your life. You’ve been holding out on me, Jack,” she scolded once they were no longer within Kelley’s earshot.

  “Not really. It’s a long, complicated story.”

  “I see. And you think I have a short attention span?”

  He chuckled low. “No, I just don’t have everything sorted out in my own mind yet.”

  Serena opened the door, and Jack slipped into the house. From habit, he turned toward the stairs. He was as comfortable in Serena’s house as he was in his own.

  “Kelley? The name’s familiar. She’s not the one—”

  “Yeah, she is,” he interrupted. She knew a little of his past with Kelley. She also knew about his tattoo. Steve had razzed him about it unmercifully.

  He made his way into Riker’s room. The kid’s bed was already turned down. He laid Riker on Spider-Man sheets that matched Jason’s and stepped back, watching as Serena fussed over her only child. Riker moaned, yawned, and squirmed, never opening his eyes while his mother removed his clothes and brought the covers up to his chin.

  Jack watched, mesmerized. Sometimes, guilt assaulted him because Jason didn’t have a mother to tuck him in at night and to do all the little things moms did that made life special. For all of his and Jason’s boasting that they liked being two males living by themselves, Jack had a feeling they’d both welcome the comforts that a woman would provide as a mother to Jason, a wife to Jack.

  Serena turned to him. “Thanks for bringing him home.”

  The original plan had been to let him spend the night with Jason. “Sorry I didn’t pay more attention to how much they ate.” He followed her out of the room. “So, what’d you do tonight?”

  She glanced over her shoulder at him. “Took a bubble bath. Soaked in the tub with candles glowing, devoured a box of chocolates, and read a romance novel.”

  “These nights when I have Riker, you’re supposed to go out and enjoy yourself.”

  They reached the living room. “I did enjoy myself. It’s not often that I can curl up and read a book in one sitting.”

  She picked a book off the coffee table and extended it toward him. “You’re going to love this one.”

  He looked at the cover. A scantily clad woman leaning into a man who’d lost his shirt somewhere along the way. It screamed romance novel. He patted his jeans pockets, his shirt. No hiding places. “I’ll pick it up tomorrow.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “Because there’s a woman waiting by your truck? Jack, Jack, Jack, you’ve got to come out of the closet, my friend.”

  Leaning toward her, he bussed a quick kiss across her cheek. “Maybe tomorrow.”

  “She’d be impressed. You could read the hot parts together. That’s what Steve and I used to do.” She shook her head quickly and flapped her hand at him. “Go on, get out of here.”

  He squeezed her hand, knowing that after all these years, it still hurt her when she thought of her husband. “I’ll come by tomorrow.”

  “You do that, because I want to hear all about Kelley.”

  “ ’Night.” He turned to go.

  “Jack?” He stopped and looked back over his shoulder.

  “Is she special?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, she is.”

  Kelley sat in the truck, her arms tucked up against her ribs, her attention focused on the little boy who sat opposite her, his head against the window, his mouth slightly open, his eyes closed. She must have thought of Jack and his child a thousand times over the years.

  She hadn’t expected in the space of one night for him to steal her heart. In that respect, he’d definitely taken after his father.

  She heard movement and turned her head to the side. She saw Jack striding across the moonlit grass. Just the sight of him could make her heart trip over itself with joy, and yet something else was settling deep within her. He’d matured far more than she had, had accepted responsibility for his child, a town, a nation. It frightened her to realize how much she was coming to care for him again.

  Only it wasn’t
really again. She’d never felt this strongly toward him, this deeply. Her love for him before had more closely resembled infatuation, an attraction to the bad boy because for the most part she’d always been so sickeningly good.

  “He still asleep?” Jack asked as he neared.

  “Yes.”

  He extended his keys toward her. “Can you get the door for me while I carry him in?”

  “Sure.” She took the keys and stepped out onto the drive.

  He leaned into the truck. She heard Jason mumble.

  “Shh,” Jack murmured. “We’re home. Let’s get to bed.”

  When he eased out of the truck, he was holding his son, the boy’s head nestled against his shoulder as though they’d both been in this position a thousand times. Kelley led the way up the walkway, stepped onto the porch, inserted the key, and opened the front door.

  She followed him inside. On a table nestled between a recliner and a couch, a lamp had been left on to send a soft glow over the room. Along one wall was an entertainment center with a huge television nestled in its center. Boys and their toys. It was obviously important to their existence.

  She followed Jack down the shadowy hallway to a room at the end. She waited in the doorway while he laid his son on the bed and switched on a lamp. Spider-Man leaped to life on the comforter, on the curtains, on the wall.

  The bed was in the shape of a sports car. Books lined shelves along one wall. Matchbox cars rested on top of a toy box which she was certain was full of other toys. A computer sat on a desk in the corner. In the opposite corner was a rocking chair, and Kelley could well imagine Jack sitting there gazing on his son while he slept.

  Model fighter jets and fictional aircraft—the Enterprise, the Millennium Falcon—were suspended from the ceiling. The room was a boy’s paradise.

  She turned her attention to Jack and watched as he undressed the child with such gentleness that Jason barely stirred. When nothing remained but Spider-Man underwear, Jack brought the covers up to his son’s shoulders, leaned low, and kissed his brow. “Sleep tight, bud.”