If Only

by Yvonne Beattie

  “Me too,” he surprises me.

  “Really?” I seem to need his reassurance.

  “Of course. You still like it here, don’t you?” he asks me.

  I look around at what is now our beautiful home, “I love it, Marty. More than anything.”

  “Me too,” he agrees. “I know there will always be an element of Mags here, but we’ve made it ours, and she will always be in our hearts.”

  I love how sentimental he is and I’m so very glad that I knew Maggie before she passed away. It makes living here even more special. I had thought it would be weird to begin with, but actually it is not strange at all. The cottage has a magical feel about it, it’s our safe haven, and a fairytale’s dream.

  Maggie left her cottage to Marty in her Will, which he knew nothing about until after she had died. He was already meeting with an architect to build his own new home, but when this all came about he put everything on hold until we rekindled our relationship, and after he wooed me back to Aviemore to live with him, he let me choose where we should live. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have my reservations, but boy am I glad we decided to give Maggie’s cottage a whirl. I don’t think we’ll ever leave it. It’s full of happy memories, more so for Marty when he was growing up, but luckily also for me too. And we’ve added quite a few new ones since we moved in.

  It turned out that after Maggie’s death, the local Heritage Museum asked for the works of art hanging in her home to be added to their collection. It turns out they are priceless, and when I saw them at the airport, it was no coincidence. They were on show for a month as part of a tribute to her life. Marty, being Marty, knew the airport manager and managed to persuade him to add the snow globe to the exhibit, he likes to refer to it as his piece de la resistance, in winning me back.

  I walk over to the book shelf where the snow globe sits and pick it up to turn it upside down and watch the pretty snow and glitter dance around. The book I gave to Maggie sits in pride of place next to it, I smile everyday when I look at it and pick it up, flicking to the first page for the umpteenth time.

  Rachel,

  Live for today, you never know what tomorrow may bring.

  If only,

  Pauline Margaret Mackenzie - “P. Mack” (Maggie)

  I truly had no idea whatsoever that Maggie – yes, our Maggie! - was the bestselling author of the book I’d given her, she used her pseudonym, P. Mack, and I still remember the feeling I got when I saw her note in the book. What are the odds that I would gift her, her own book! Her paintings became famous because of who she was as a writer, and I now realise just why she was such a private person. Half of her books have been made into Hollywood movies, but she kept her face and real name out of everything. It’s truly amazing really.

  “What time is that pesky best friend of yours and her annoying husband arriving?” Marty asks jokingly. I know he loves them really.

  “I think that’s them here now, actually,” I hear the gate open and swing shut on it’s spring, and go to look out of the front window. “Oh, no it’s actually Joel and Rob!”

  “I’ll let them in,” Marty says heading through to the door.

  It’s so good to see them, it’s been quite a while. I’ve now been living in Aviemore for four months. I didn’t manage to find a suitable job in a local school, so I started teaching privately, and I love it. Marty has slipped right back into his old job and to me, he seems to be thoroughly enjoying it. He works long hours, but we work as a team and I manage my teaching time around him so we can maximise our time together. Joel and Rob moved into my house in Aberdeen, and have been renting it from me for the last three months, so it all worked out perfectly and gave me a bit of a cushion until I got myself established up here. It’s still a work in progress, but it’s all better than good.

  “Oh, it’s so nice to be here,” Joel says as he leans back in the armchair and enjoys the heat emitting from the wood burning fire. It’s November and it’s been quite cold out the last couple of weeks.

  “I love your cottage,” Rob says while looking around. It’s the first time he’s been up to visit.

  “Thanks!” Marty and I say together, then mutually knowingly smile at each other.

  “Anyone for some bubbly? Or should we wait for the gruesome twosome to arrive?” Joel asks pulling a magnum out of his large backpack.

  “We don’t need to wait, they’re here!” I exclaim and run to the door to see my best friend.

  “Where is the little boys room?” Simon asks doing a bit of a jig on the doorstep.

  “Oh for God’s sake, let him use your toilet. He’s been like a bear with a sore head ever since we left,” Bex rolls her eyes at him. “Seriously, you’d think he would’ve gone before we left.”

  “We only have one toilet, I’m afraid,” Marty says, motioning to the door. “It’s an eighteenth century build this cottage, but I’m hoping we can add another one at some point. Someone’s in at the moment.”

  “That’s great,” Simon says and bangs on the door. “Who the hell is in there? Hurry up! I’ve got a turtles head here!”

  Bex breathes in and appears to be counting backwards, before locking eyes with me. I shake my head at Simon and grin at her, “You married him!”

  “And I wouldn’t change it,” she says. “Well, most of the time.”

  Everyone has come up this weekend to celebrate my birthday with us. Marty organised it as a surprise but told me earlier this week as he knew I’d have to get the bedrooms sorted out, and he didn’t want me fretting about it all. I’m glad he did tell me, as I’ve been super excited all week. We’re all going out for dinner, and then we are just meeting up with all of Marty’s local friends at Paula’s parents bar, it’s become our local, and Marty and I seem to end up being the entertainment most of the time.

  As we are all just getting ready to head out, the doorbell rings and I grab my shoes as I answer the door.

  “Hey,” says Izzy, who has become one of my closest friends since I paid her another visit after we moved up.

  I lean forward and give her a hug, “Hey! Come in, come in.”

  She walks past me and then Justin falls in behind her, leaning down to give me a hug too, “Hi,” I smile at him, so happy to see he seems to be getting his life back together. He’s been seeing a psychiatrist to help him deal with everything properly. Izzy told me his temper has vastly improved and so has their relationship. “I’m so glad you guys could come.”

  “Thanks for inviting us,” he says looking slightly out of place.

  “You’re welcome, and it’s fine,” I reassure him and lead him through to the sitting room.

  Marty is pouring drinks in the open plan kitchen, but everyone introduces themselves to Izzy and Justin, and just as I’m about to say something to Marty, he walks over to them both and hands them each a glass of bubbly, meeting Justin’s eye with an acknowledgment. Things between them will likely always be strained, but they’re working on it.

  “Happy birthday, Rachel! Here is to friendships, old and new,” he says putting an arm around me and pulling me close to his side. “Let’s not forget the past, and those who brought us together, but lets move forward, onwards and upwards with friendship, happiness, peace and love.”

  “Cheers,” everyone says in unison and takes a sip of their drinks.

  “Oh, and one last thing,” Marty puts down his glass and pulls something out of his pocket. “Don’t get too excited, I’m not popping the question… just yet,” he says with a smile and a glint in his eye, “But this is a present I’ve been desperate to give you for some time now.”

  He opens out his hand and in it is a beautiful sapphire and diamond ring. I gasp as I look at it, not sure what to say or do.

  “It was Maggie’s,” he says and I notice his eyes have glazed over. “She gave it to me before she died, and said to give it to the woman of my dreams. She told me it would be her ‘something old’, her ‘something borrowed’, and her ‘something blue’. I know we aren
’t there yet, but I want you to know that you’ve been the answer to my prayers, Rach. I love you, and I have no doubt that you are my forever.”

  I take the ring from him and slide it onto my ring finger on my right hand, “I love it!”

  “I knew you would,” he smiles. “It is a promise ring, ok?”

  I grab his gorgeous face and plant a huge kiss on him before he hugs me to him again.

  He picks up his glass again and then turns away from everyone, and says under his breath, “And I don’t think that promise is going to take long to fulfill!”

  Everyone laughs, and still hugging Marty’s side, I look around our friends, old and new, and feel completely at home.

  This is what life is all about.

  Playlist

  Toes – Zac Brown Band

  We’re All Going On A Summer Holiday – Cliff Richard

  Summer Time – Ella Fitzgerald

  Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

  I Got My Mind Set On You – George Harrison

  Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer

  Rain, Rain Go Away – Barney

  All I Want For Christmas Is You – Mariah Carey

  The Nutcracker – Tchaikovsky

  Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow – Dean Martin

  Rocking Around The Christmas Tree – Brenda Lee

  Up Where We Belong – Joe Cocker

  Anaconda – Nicki Minaj

  Unchained Melody – Elvis Presley

  Pop Looks Bach (Ski Sunday) – Bach

  The Entertainer – Scott Joplin

  Chopsticks (piano duet)

  About The Author

  Yvonne lives in Aberdeen, Scotland, with her husband, and two children. After living in Houston, TX, Malaysia and Denmark, it is refreshing to be home, close to family, and settled again. When she’s not writing, she’s reading, or chasing after her two little ones and their endless, yet incredible, social lives. Yvonne has a BA in Corporate Communication and an MBA in Oil and Gas Management.