Zombies Ate My Neighbors, Family & Friends (Book 1)
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“Hand me your crowbar if you please,” Jonah asked of Aimee. She was hesitant, but she couldn't help but feel his intentions were good. She handed him the crowbar and watched as he pried open the sliding doors of the Q-Mart store. What she didn't know, couldn't possibly know, was that Q-Mart was a relatively new store chain built to complete with Walmart. Oddly enough, it wasn't a 24/7 store, and wouldn't open until ten o'clock in the morning. The event, however, had happened long before ten, leaving the store abandoned.
With the doors open, he handed her the crowbar and walked directly inside. Aimee watched him incredulously as he walked into the open store without regard for his own safety. Was this man afraid of nothing?
“It's perfectly safe here,” he said with a smile. “There’s plenty of food and water, maybe even a bed if you're tired.”
“I am not tired,” Aimee said as she entered the store cautiously. “Tell me who you are. Why are you not afraid?”
“Where I come from,” Jonah said, walking deeper into the store as Aimee followed, “fear is not an acceptable response to any situation.”
She couldn't believe this man. He was walking down an aisle as if he were on a Saturday morning shopping excursion. What bullshit, and it wasn't even close to Saturday.
Jonah reached out to one of the shelves and pulled out a jug of water. Nestle brand. Growing up, Aimee recalled a water crisis that had struck her home country. The sight of clean water, anywhere, and in any form was always a bit of a shock to her, but to see it available here, in such quantities? That was angering at best.
“You should hydrate yourself,” Jonah said, holding the gallon of water out to her. “You've come a long way.”
She cautiously reached out and took the water from him.
“How do you know where I have come from?” She demanded, but not quite angrily.
“All of us are on a long journey, but from your face and the condition of your clothing, I would say that your journey has been a bit more physical than others.”
At least she could accept that; she did look terrible. She began to answer, but Jonah was already making his way down the aisle toward the back of the store. She popped the cap on the water and took a drink. She hadn't realized it, but she was thirsty. It shouldn't have come as a surprise considering how far she had walked in the hot Florida sun. After she had taken a few sips, she replaced the lid and followed Jonah, who was already out of sight.
“Jonah?” she called out, walking in the direction he'd gone. “Jonah, where are you?”
“This isn't exactly what I'd call roughing it,” he said, his voice still containing the implied smile that had left his face. “But, it's a four burner range, for camping.”
He was holding what appeared to be the top of a stove, but it was clearly self-contained.
“What is it?” she asked, knowing that as the words spilled out of her mouth that it was a relatively stupid question.
“It operates on a four cell battery and can last for up to a month,” he said as he set the 'stove' atop a picnic table, situated in the middle of the store near some camping supplies.
“Why are you putting it there?” she was genuinely curious now.
“We could both use a good meal,” He stated matter-of-factly, “and I make a mean hamburger.”
“I cannot stay here!” Aimee protested. “I must find my family in Ohio!”
“Ohio's a long way from here,” Jonah pointed out. “It won't do you any good to take off haphazardly. Eat and rest, and then you can be on your way.”
Aimee certainly couldn't argue with that, so she made her way over to the furniture section, a few yards from where she stood and grabbed an office chair.
This was insane, the entire situation was insane, she remembered talking to her family just a few weeks ago over the....phone! The phone! She jumped up, almost excitedly. She raced through the frozen food aisle and found the front of the store. Sure enough, there was a round, standalone customer service desk, but would there be a working phone?
She approached the counter so fast that she nearly bounced off of it, and found that she couldn't reach over it. The counter was set on an elevated platform and had to be accessed via a small five step staircase to the right. She ran to the opening and walked onto the platform. From here, all of the cash register lanes were perfectly visible, as well as most of the store. She could see Jonah standing in the meat section, picking out the perfect meat for his 'mean burger'. He turned momentarily and saw her standing at the platform, waved once, and turned back to the meat.
Aimee looked at the counter and found exactly what she was looking for: a phone. It was here, it was ready to be used, and the power was still on! She grabbed the handset and held it to her ear; there was no dial tone. Of course, it couldn't be that easy. Back home when she worked at a call center she remembered having to dial '9' to get an outside line. She tried pressing it on the keypad, heard a response 'beep', but no dial tone.
“Dammit,” she said aloud, exasperated. She thought about leaving the service desk, when she noticed a something rolled up on the counter. It looked almost like a piece of paper, but she recognized it as a flexible computer, designed specifically for counter tops. She unrolled it and watched as the screen, or surface illuminated and presented her with the 'Android Desktop'. In the upper right corner, it showed a Wi-Fi connection presumably to the store's router.
She searched the desktop, and found what she was looking for: a web browser. She waited for what seemed like an eternity, but at long last, it stated: “This webpage cannot be displayed”. It was disheartening, but that didn't necessarily mean anything – maybe the homepage was simply down. She typed in a few different addresses, always meeting with the same results. Either the internet had been shut off, or the lines were down. She sighed and noticed Jonah walking toward the service desk with two plates. He'd cooked his hamburgers.
“Are you having any luck?” he asked, but Aimee couldn't tell if it was genuine curiosity or not.
“Nothing, there is nothing,” She said angrily. “God is punishing me.”
“You can think that way if it makes you feel better,” Jonah said with a smile as he handed her a plate.
“What do you believe in?” she asked Jonah as she ate the hamburger he'd presented her.
“I tend to believe in myself,” He said. “I don't put stock in deities or invisible supermen in the sky.”
“You must believe in something greater than yourself,” Aimee stated. “You must believe that we were put here with purpose.”
“Maybe,” Jonah nodded. “But maybe you have to make your own purpose.”
With that, he set his empty plate on the counter and left the service desk.
“You can't just say God does not exist!” she called after him.
“What kind of God did all this?” he indicated the world outside with a wave of his hand. “Your God is an asshole.”
She threw her hands up and left the service desk, following a series of signs that led her to the home furnishing section. There she was able to locate an assembled display bed and laid down without throwing back the covers.
She laid there for what seemed like a few minutes, but upon opening her eyes, she was aware that several hours had passed. It was evident, given the fact that it was dark outside. The hot Florida sun had retreated and given way to starlight, indicating that she must have been far more tired than she gave herself credit for. She was certainly rested, and probably ready to travel. Despite still feeling tired, she pushed herself from the bed, but stopped in her tracks when she heard voices. She frowned. Was someone else in the store? The first voice was most definitely Jonah, but she didn't recogn
ize the second. She crept around the bed display but saw nothing. There was a gondola in the way, of course.
Aimee walked slowly and quietly toward the gondola, reaching it, and walking along it, knowing that Jonah was likely sitting at the picnic table on the other side. She tried to make out what he was saying, but it was almost incomprehensible. She made it to the end of the Gondola and peeked around the corner. Sure enough he was sitting at the picnic table with the stove range, talking, only not with another human being.
He seemed to be speaking into a device, a phone perhaps? If it was a phone, it was like none she'd ever seen. It was thin, and the display seemed to jump off the screen. Was it holographic? Furthermore, how was he making calls? Though she was being careful, he seemed to notice her right away, and his expression was akin to a child that had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. In this situation, she seemed to have the upper hand, so she used it.
“Who are you?” she demanded, emerging from her hiding place and approaching Jonah. “How are you making calls? Who are you calling?”
Jonah waved his hand over the device, terminating the communication and causing the screen to go blank.
“I need you to calm down,” he said. “I can explain-”
“You can explain?!” She said, waving her hands as she spoke faster and faster. “You explain how you let me sit here and wonder about my family while you have a working phone? Why don't you tell me how you can call out when the phone lines are down?”
“Cellular phones work on a different system,” Jonah explained.
“What are you talking about? You are a liar! The lines are down, you cannot call!”
Jonah shrugged. It was worth a try, and cellular phones did work on a different system, but it seemed that passing off a lie was ten times more difficult in the target had little to no technical knowledge.
“Alright, Aimee,” he said, “you're absolutely right, it's time I come clean. Why don't you have a seat?” He indicated the seat on the other side of the table, facing the electric range.
“I think, I will stand!” she said adamantly.
Jonah nodded.
“Very well. Aimee, I am not from here, but I'm familiar with the problem. In other words, I know what's going on, and I know that we don't have much time to save your world.”
This was seriously beginning to sound like a bad science fiction novel. “Save my world? What is with you?”
“Well, you’ve got to admit that your world has a problem.” Jonah smiled slightly when he said that which just made her angrier.
“Listen, I don’t know why you keep calling this ‘my world’, and I don’t know how you plan on saving it. We’ve got zombies, lots of them, and you don’t look much like the zombie Orkin man, so cut the crap.”
“Orkin man?” Jonah frowned looking at his PDA.
“Google it!” Aimee started towards her pile of stuff. “I don’t need this shit.”
“Wait,” Jonah reached out towards her, “these are not bugs.”
“What?” Aimee turned back towards him. She had no idea what he was talking about now.
“Orkin men get rid of bugs.” He held up his PDA. “I ‘googled’ it.”
“The internet is working?” She started back towards him.
“No, it is not. I just have a database of information about this planet.”
“Are you from the government? The CIA or the NSA?” Aimee realized she was almost shouting and stepped back slightly breathing in and out to de-stress.
Jonah looked thoughtful. “Let’s just say, I am from an organization like the CIA.”
“So, you’re Black Ops or something like that?” Aimee looked skeptical but at least it was an explanation. They take anybody these days, even middle-aged, black guys who look like they haven’t seen the inside of a gym in years.
“Yes, you could say that.” Jonah paused for a moment appearing to collect his thoughts.
“I could say a lot of things, but what I want are answers. I could say the sky is grey with pink polka dots, but that wouldn’t be very useful.”
“No, it wouldn’t.” Jonah agreed, but when she raised her eyebrows in question mode, he didn’t respond further.
“Is this some kind of sick joke? You sound like an alien. Where are you from? Mars?” She laughed slightly when she said it.
“A bit further than Mars.” Jonah’s face was serious, and Aimee felt her smile disappearing and being replaced by a look of confusion. Great, she had hooked up with a nut.
“You’re kidding, right?” She waited for him to start laughing. After all, they were in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, so aliens from Mars was a pretty appropriate joke under these ludicrous conditions.
“No, I’m not kidding.” Jonah’s face remained serious. “That being said, I have to ask, will you help me, Aimee?”
She blinked at him. Words escaped her; he was crazy as a bedbug, fruity as a fruitcake, nutty as a loon. She had hooked up with a certifiable psycho. I guess you get all kinds when zombies attack.
“Help you with what?” Aimee finally replied. “What does someone like you need help with?” You obviously just escaped from the funny farm. My God, I just used every old hackneyed phrase to describe somebody with serious delusions.
“You might be surprised,” Jonah smiled.
“Don't do that,” Aimee snapped. Don’t jump at the nutcase. He might be dangerous, and he’s the only non-zombie you’ve met.
“Don't do what?” The expression on Jonah’s face changed to confusion. He scratched his ear idly almost as if they were talking about the weather.
“Do not smile as if everything were okay. You just went all ‘klaatu barada nikto’ on me, and we’re in a zombie apocalypse. Things are not okay!”
He pursed his lips and nodded. “Fair enough, things are not exactly perfect, but will you help me fix this?”
A long silence passed. She stared at him, trying to determine whether or not this man was being genuine. Could he be trusted? She couldn't tell, but what were her alternatives? Go it alone. Leave the fruitcake on his own? That would be uncharitable, and she was nothing if not a helpful Christian. Why she got saddled with a nut was beyond her, but she did believe that God always had a plan no matter how insane, so she simply said, “Yes, I will help you, for now.”
“Good.” Jonah replied. “By the way, I liked ‘The Day The Earth Stood Still” with Michael Rennie. I saw it the last time I was here.”
Aimee just shook her head and walked towards the back of the store. Right, he looked quite good for somebody in his eighties; he looked quite good for someone who was insane.
TO BE CONTINUED
In Book 2, it only gets worse: The Hossiers are a family on the run, careening towards possible destruction just ahead of the undead horde. Uncle Carl, once shunned and ignored, comes into his own when fighting zombies. He can shoot any kind of gun, and his aim is true. Devastated and suicidal, Ross escapes his high school and joins up with 11-year-old Sarah, not knowing that she is destined to change his life. Aimee reluctantly follows Jonah as they race towards a future that will spell either salvation or the total destruction of humanity. Discover this and a whole lot more in Parts 2 & 3 of Zombies Ate My Neighbors! Now What?!
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Table of Contents
A Peek at What’s Inside:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
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