Storm of Doubt

by Christy Barritt

  “Was it love at first sight?”

  “It was something pretty close to that. We had dinner together and were inseparable after that. But I was about to be sent to Iraq. I’d signed up to be a chaplain—that was my plan from the start. And she was having surgery.”

  “Surgery?”

  “She had a congenital heart condition. The valves degenerated and kept failing, causing damage to the actual heart itself.”

  “That’s horrible.”

  “It was. But I loved her. I knew my time with her could be limited, but it didn’t matter. Some time was better than no time.”

  “That’s really beautiful.”

  “We got married four months after we met. She had heart surgery right after our honeymoon, and she did great for a while. I had a tour of duty in Iraq. We knew we couldn’t have kids—not with her condition. But we talked about adopting eventually. But five years after we were married, it became obvious that her condition was getting worse.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  His voice caught. “She was scheduled for another surgery, but before she made it to that appointment, her heart failed. They tried to revive her, but it was too late. She was gone.”

  “I can’t even imagine.”

  “It’s been two years. I knew after Leah was gone that I needed to get myself straightened out before I could help anyone else. The grief . . . I didn’t cry. But I felt dead inside. I took a year off, trying to come to terms with my loss.”

  “It’s good that you had the foresight to do that.”

  He nodded slowly. “I decided after a lot of reflection to end my chaplaincy, and I took the job here in Lantern Beach. I’d met Ty while I was serving, and he told me about the position. He told me there was something about Lantern Beach that could set a person’s soul at ease.”

  “And has it?”

  He shrugged. “It’s starting to. I still haven’t been able to bring myself to decorate for Christmas yet, though. It was Leah’s favorite holiday, and it just doesn’t feel right to celebrate without her.”

  Juliette opened her mouth, as if she was going to ask more questions. Before she could, a rattle sounded outside.

  Was that the wind?

  Jack wasn’t sure.

  He stood, about to check the door again. But that was when he noticed the water on the floor.

  He sucked in a breath.

  The tide was coming in.

  And, soon, this whole place would be filled with water.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Juliette leaned against the wall, forehead pressed against the rough cinderblock, and fought despair. She and Jack had checked the hatch. Checked every crevice. Every corner.

  There was no way out of here.

  If someone didn’t come soon, they’d drown or suffer hypothermia.

  Water was already above her ankles, and it was rising rapidly.

  “I’m so sorry I got you into this situation,” she muttered, glancing at Jack as he stood in the center of the room, still surveying the space. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea—”

  “Don’t apologize,” he said. “This isn’t your doing. The fault lies completely with the man who did this.”

  “But—”

  “No buts, Juliette.” He extended his hand. “Come on. We should sit on the stairs and try to stay dry for as long as possible.”

  She shivered at his words. It was already cold in here. The dampness would only make it worse.

  And her side still hurt. She was pretty sure she’d split her stitches. And, even though Jack hadn’t said anything, she knew his ribs hurt as well as his neck and head.

  If she could rewind time . . . she would have never come here. Would have never thought that Lantern Beach was a good idea.

  Then again, if she’d never come, she would never have met Jack.

  Jack . . . the man who probably thought she was a fool right now. A fool for falling for Logan’s fake persona. For writing about a love that she didn’t even believe existed.

  She followed him to the stairs, and they perched beside each other on one of the hard steps. As she shivered again, Jack slipped an arm around her. The warmth of his body heat felt good. If she had known how today would turn out, she would have grabbed a heavier coat. Maybe a scarf and gloves.

  “We’re going to get through this, Juliette,” he murmured.

  “Why do you sound so sure?” She wished she had that kind of faith.

  “I can’t really explain it.”

  They sat there for several minutes in silence. Juliette watched as the water continued to rise. It soaked in through the walls also. And the small bullet hole above them? Water trickled in from there.

  Juliette knew how this would most likely end.

  And it wasn’t good.

  “Since we’re being truthful here, I guess I should tell you that I understand your doubts.” Jack’s voice sounded solemn as he said the words.

  “My doubts about love? But you said your wife—”

  “Not your doubts above love. But you’re a romance writer who doesn’t believe in love. Lately, I’ve felt like the pastor who isn’t sure anymore if he believes in God.”

  Juliette’s eyes widened at his words. She hadn’t expected that.

  But she’d finally seen through him. Jack was allowing her to see beyond his perfect, mannerly façade and into his depths. She wouldn’t stop him.

  “Why do you say that, Jack?”

  He lowered his gaze. “I don’t know. Do you ever look around this crazy world and wonder if God is just a fairy tale people made up to trick others into doing what’s right?”

  “But there are accounts of Jesus from outside the Bible. He was a real man who walked this earth. You can’t deny that.”

  “Maybe not. But there are other things. Like, do you ever think that church can be like a country club at times? The people there are good people. But they’re not sold out for Jesus. They’re just . . . trying to find connections for a good cause.”

  Juliette reached for his hand and squeezed it. “I can see where you might wonder that. But I’ve definitely met people who are sold out for Jesus. It’s no act. They don’t go through the motions. But even those people have moments of weakness. What made you think of all this, Jack?”

  “I’ve spent my whole life—adult life, at least—telling people how God’s love can change them. I’ve answered hospital calls in the middle of the night. I’ve dropped everything to be with someone after a tragedy. I’ve been dirt poor but without complaint. And you know what my reward was for all of that?”

  Juliette knew where he was going with this but let him finish.

  “God took Leah away.” His voice broke.

  “Oh, Jack.” Juliette placed her hand on his knee and squeezed it.

  His pain was so intense that it was palpable. She wished there was a balm to soothe it. A magic phrase to take it away. A healing touch. But only God and time could work through his grief and doubt.

  “People always ask how a loving God could allow such evil things in the world. And I have all the answers. I’ve given them on more than one occasion. But I’m not sure I believe a single one.”

  “If you don’t believe the answers you’ve given, then why do you think God allows suffering? What does your gut say?” She had to understand the lie he was believing before she could counteract it with the truth.

  “Maybe the question is invalid. Maybe there isn’t a God at all.”

  Juliette’s heart pounded into her chest at his words. She hadn’t expected that. “I see.”

  Jack’s head drooped—not with relief but with despair. “I’ve never shared that with anyone. I couldn’t bear to see the disappointment on their faces if I did.”

  “Don’t be ashamed of your honesty.” She reached for him and rested her hand at the edge of his face and neck. “Your questions are a heavy load to bear on your own. You shouldn’t have to do that. You shouldn’t have to be so busy ministering to others that you don’t feel
anyone else can ever minister to you.”

  He glanced at her, and a soft, sad smile crossed his lips. “You’re a wise woman, Juliette Grace.”

  “I mean it, Jack. Some of the greatest people of faith struggled and wrestled with questions like yours. The important thing is that, in the end, they believed. And they were stronger. You’ll be the same. I don’t know why God allows suffering. I mean, I know that with sin in the world, there’s a cause and effect to our actions. And I know that trials pull us closer to God. But sometimes I think we see things through a temporal lens instead of an eternal one.”

  He nodded slowly. “I suppose you could be right. We forget the long-term plan in favor of our feelings.”

  She loosened her hold on his hand, instead gripping his fingers lightly, just enough to let him know she was there. “And that’s why you were going to preach on Zechariah’s doubt this morning. You were talking to yourself just as much as anyone.”

  “I was.”

  “And how were you going to conclude that sermon?”

  “That faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance in what we cannot see.”

  She smiled softly. “Hebrews 11:1. There you have it. Give it time. Grief is a process.”

  Their gazes caught, and something happened between them. Something that Juliette could hardly explain.

  But it was a connection, as if an invisible thread pulled them together. At least, that’s what it felt like. The next instant, an unseen energy seemed to whirl around them like a tornado, trapping them—pleasantly trapping them—within its vortex.

  “Juliette,” Jack muttered, his voice hoarse.

  He reached for her, his hand resting at her neck.

  She didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. Certainly her eyes were saying enough right now.

  Jack’s lips met hers. Gently. Softly.

  Yet the feelings inside her were anything but that.

  No, joy burst inside her as more electricity zapped around them.

  Jack pulled away yet remained close, their faces hovering only inches apart.

  Juliette’s heart pounded in her ears at his nearness—yet she didn’t fear his closeness. No, she wanted more of it, if she were honest. This moment with Jack felt deeper than anything she’d ever experienced with Logan.

  “Aren’t we a pair?” Jack whispered.

  They both chuckled at the irony. A romance writer who didn’t believe in love. A preacher who questioned God.

  They were quite the pair. But maybe God had brought them together at just the right moment.

  But the moment was cut short when something rattled above them.

  It was her stalker. He was back.

  Juliette glanced below and saw that the water was on the fifth step now. It was either face him or drown.

  She still hadn’t decided which was worse.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Jack stood and tensed as he prepared himself for whatever was about to happen.

  He wished he had something to use as a weapon. But there was nothing—except prayer. And even though he’d been full of doubt lately, he couldn’t seem to stop muttering pleas to God.

  Keep Juliette safe. Please, Lord. Protect her.

  He stared up and waited for the hatch to open.

  But it didn’t.

  They’d both clearly heard something above. What was John Doting planning? A fate worse than drowning or freezing to death? He shuddered to think about it.

  A stream of water trickled from around the frame of the hatch now.

  The water below was getting deeper.

  How much time did they have before it filled this whole place? Even if it didn’t fill it, the hypothermia would still kill them eventually.

  Lord, please. I’m not one for last minute bargains, but this isn’t the way I want things to end. I need . . . I need more time to figure this out.

  “What’s he doing out there?” Juliette whispered, clutching his arm.

  “That’s a good question.”

  Several more minutes passed and still nothing happened. Jack couldn’t just stand here. He needed to check things out.

  “Stay here,” Jack told Juliette, not concerned about his own safety as much as hers.

  Cautiously, he climbed the steps and approached the hatch. He pushed on it.

  To his surprise, it lifted.

  What?

  He pushed harder. It opened.

  The door opened! A swath of sunlight crept inside, followed by a chilly breeze and a gush of water.

  Jack sucked in a breath.

  “It’s unlocked,” Juliette whispered.

  It was. But Jack still had to be cautious here. It could be some kind of trap. He wouldn’t put it past the man.

  He motioned for Juliette to stay put. Then he stepped out.

  He looked around, still bracing himself for an attack.

  Nothing happened.

  In the distance, the ocean roared, the tide angry and gray. The hatch was buried in a sand dune covered with foliage. Anyone could pass it and miss it, especially on a dark day like today.

  He had no idea what was going on, but he did know they needed to seize this opportunity. Now.

  He stepped back toward the hatch. “Juliette, come on!”

  She rushed up the stairs, breathless, and took his hand.

  As the ice-cold rain hit them and water pooled at their feet, they took off toward the swath of woods that separated them from civilization.

  Jack didn’t let go of Juliette. He didn’t look back.

  He just moved forward, desperate to find help before the man found them again.

  Because that was too easy.

  There was something Jack was missing. There had to be.

  But right now, they just had to find help.

  As they reached the road, headlights brightened the horizon in the distance.

  “That could be the man,” Juliette whispered, slowing her steps.

  “Or it could be help.”

  Jack stepped back, trying to conceal them until he had a definitive answer. He held his breath as he waited and watched.

  As the vehicle came closer, he saw it was . . . a police car.

  It was Cassidy.

  Cassidy!

  Wasting no more time, Jack paced out and raised his hands in the air, trying to flag her down.

  Maybe they were finally safe. Maybe.

  Juliette didn’t want to be in this room at the clinic by herself. Though she was incredibly grateful that Cassidy had come past when she had and that they’d been rescued, the last hour had felt so painfully long.

  Juliette had already been seen by the doctor. But Cassidy had asked her to stay put for a while longer. Juliette had already given her statement. So what was the holdup?

  Juliette knew that, in reality, she was just anxious to see Jack. She knew the urge was ridiculous. She knew that she’d only known Jack for two days. Yet somehow, their connection felt much deeper.

  Instead, she was stuck here.

  Someone knocked at the door. She looked up and saw Cassidy step inside.

  Juliette sat up in the hospital bed, ready to spring at the first chance. Her legs stretched over the covers, and her shoes were on.

  “Look, I already have your statement,” Cassidy said. “As soon as the doctor releases you, you’re free to go.”

  “I just want to say thank you again for everything you’ve done. You have really gone above and beyond, and I don’t know what I would have done without all of you.”

  Cassidy offered a soft smile. “Jack did a whole series this summer on no one standing alone. Since then, we’ve all been trying to live it out.”

  “I’m sorry I missed hearing him preach this morning.”

  “Jack doesn’t think he’s very good at it, but he is. But it’s more than that. He genuinely cares about people. I think he’s a great asset to this area. He just needs someone who will hold his hands up when times get tough, you know?”

  “Yeah, I k
now.”

  Juliette remembered what Jack had told her about the doubts he’d been facing lately. She wished she could help ease some of his worries. But it wasn’t her place. Still, it was so hard to see someone as giving as Jack suffering in silence.

  No one stands alone.

  But wasn’t Jack standing alone?

  Did he always preach on the things that were close to his heart?

  Juliette would guess the answer to be yes.

  “So, I need to go back to the scene.” Cassidy shifted, not bothering to hide the fact that she was studying Juliette’s expression. “Jack is going with me. Are you feeling up to it?”

  “Yes. Absolutely.” It beat sitting here and doing nothing.

  Cassidy took a step back. “Great. Let me see if Jack’s been cleared.”

  “Is he okay?” Juliette hardly wanted to ask the question. But she’d been dying to hear an update.

  “He has a few bruised ribs, but I think he’ll be fine.”

  A whoosh of relief rushed through her. Thank goodness.

  Five minutes later, Juliette stepped into the hallway and glanced around.

  Her breath caught when she saw Jack standing outside her door. A bandage stretched across the cut on his forehead. He wore clean clothes—so did Juliette, for that matter. One of Cassidy’s friends, someone named Skye, had brought them by.

  Jack looked bruised but good. Really good.

  His eyes warmed when he saw her and he stepped closer. Instantly, Juliette remembered their kiss.

  It had been done in the heat of the moment. She knew that. And it probably didn’t mean anything.

  They were just two people who’d thought they might die. That they might be living their last moment.

  Two people who were attracted to one another.

  But long-term? They’d made no promises.

  At least, that was what Juliette told herself.

  “You check out okay?” He stepped closer and reached for her, rubbing her arm tenderly.

  Juliette nodded, trying to ignore the electricity she felt at his touch. “Yeah, you?”

  “Nothing that time won’t heal. Cassidy said you want to go along back to the bunker.”

  “That’s right.”