Confessions (New Beginnings #4)

by Michelle Lynn

When he finally backed away so he could breathe, she looked up at him.

  “It’s more than guilt,” he said, pressing his lips to hers again. He spun her away from the wall, keeping her body pressed against his. The back of her legs hit the bed and she pulled him down with her as she smiled against his lips.

  ###

  Mack traced figure eights on Abigail’s stomach as she sighed contentedly. The pillow was damp from her hair, but neither of them seemed to mind. It felt right. Different than their first night together. That had been fun. This had been something else.

  He wasn’t used to feeling like that. To wanting to get to know someone. To wanting them to know him.

  “My mom died,” he blurted.

  “What?” she asked, stilling his hand by taking it between hers.

  “A month before the Vegas trip.” He took a deep breath. He didn’t talk about his family to anyone, not even Josh.

  “How?”

  “Cancer. She’d been sick for a while, but that didn’t make it any easier. We were close. Our entire family was. I have an older sister; bet you didn’t know that.”

  “No.”

  “Yeah, well … she likes it that way. After Mom died, I went to Vegas. My dad and my sister knew I was there and who I was with, so when Derek went to jail, they knew I was involved. My sister has a husband and kids. That wasn’t the first time I’d gotten in trouble, but it was the last straw for them. She didn’t want her kids around me, so she hasn’t spoken to me since.”

  “Grant, I’m so sorry.”

  He shrugged and pulled her closer. “You said you wanted to know me. It isn’t such a pretty picture.”

  “What about your dad?”

  “He’s always had more faith in me than anyone. With Mom gone and my sister off with her own family, we’re all the other one has.” He buried his face in the crook of her neck. It was easy talking to her, but thinking about his family wasn’t so simple.

  Goosebumps covered her skin beneath his warm breath. Kissing her shoulder, he leaned back to look at her. “Can we not talk about them anymore?”

  “You fulfilled your part of the game.” She smiled and he caught her lips between his for a quick kiss.

  “Your turn. Who is Abigail Stewart besides the beautiful, argumentative, college girl?”

  “I am not argumentative!”

  “Point and case.”

  “Isn’t that a big word for you anyways? It’s more than two syllables.”

  “Oh,” he laughed, shifting himself so he was hovering over her. “Girl’s got jokes.”

  “Girl has jokes,” she corrected, a smirk spreading across her lips.

  He lowered himself so they were eye-to-eye. “I know what you’re doing,” he whispered, his breath hot on her lips.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She swallowed hard.

  “You change the subject, hoping I’ll forget what we were talking about.”

  “Who, me?”

  “Not gonna work, Sweetheart. I perfected that move.”

  “Yeah? What about this?” She closed the small distance between them, pressing her lips to his. Her hands found his hips, forcing him to roll onto his side. She fit her body to his and wrapped her arms around his neck, throwing everything she had into the kiss.

  “Yeah.” He breathed heavily. “That might work.”

  “Might?” She kissed him again and didn’t let him go until she needed air.

  “What were we talking about again?” He feigned ignorance.

  “That’s what I thought.” She laughed, rolling away from him. “We have to be up early to go out on the boat tomorrow. You should probably go sleep in your bed.”

  He stared at her back, opening his mouth to speak and then closing it again. He got out of bed, not bothering to grab his clothes before heading back into his own room feeling dismissed.

  Was this how girls felt after hooking up with him? He liked to think he always treated them well, but knew that wasn’t true.

  He didn’t know what had just happened, but he knew he didn’t like it.

  Six

  Water churned behind them as the boat motored out of Christiansted Harbor. They passed smaller sailboats and catamarans like the one they were on.

  Mack stood on the front of the boat, watching as the bright yellow fort went by. In all of Josh’s reading on the island, that was the stuff that interested him. The Dutch owned the island once upon a time, and used two forts as their military outposts. They did a lot from those locations, but Mack loved that they were also used to watch for pirates.

  Now they were tourist destinations.

  He sipped the coffee he’d grabbed on the boardwalk and leaned on the rail. This morning he woke up late, and Taylor was freaking out thinking they were going to miss the boat. They’d even arrived with enough time to stop for coffee.

  Abigail was acting normally, and that shouldn’t have bothered him. He had more important things to worry about, yet all he wanted to know was what she was thinking.

  “What is happening to me?” he grumbled, thinking his words would be lost to the ocean.

  “You tell me,” Josh said, stepping up to the rail beside him. He’d already lost his shirt, and Mack would have normally made endless ghost jokes like he did every time they were at the beach or the pool. The dude was pale. But Mack wasn’t in the mood.

  He wasn’t about to talk about a girl, so he brought up the other subject that he knew his friend would understand.

  “The team made me an extension offer.”

  “That’s great.” Josh clapped him on the back. “Isn’t it?”

  “Five million - five years.”

  “Ouch. What’d you tell your agent?”

  “That you don’t lowball your first-line center if you really expect to keep him.”

  “You think they’re going to pull the trigger on a trade?” Josh asked.

  “I don’t know what to think.” Mack shrugged. “Who knows what Simms is thinking. You want to know the thing that sucks the most?”

  Josh stayed quiet.

  “It’s not completely about the money. That’s only part of it. It’s about seeing the value they put on me.” He banged his fist against the railing. “Dammit. I know how good I am. I’m not just being a cocky asshole. It’s about knowing my worth and making sure they know it too. I know Simms doesn’t trust me. He thinks I’m a PR nightmare, a locker-room problem. I don’t know … maybe it’d be better if they just traded me to a team that’d give me a fresh start.”

  “It’s going to work out.” Something in Josh’s voice told Mack he really believed that.

  “Wish I could be that optimistic. We’ll see what happens when I tell Simms about Vegas.”

  “You sure that’s what you have to do?”

  “It’s time I own up to what I’ve done.”

  Josh put a hand on Mack’s shoulder. “Proud of you, man.”

  Mack swatted him away. “Don’t go all sappy on me, Josher.”

  “Right … right.” Josh squared his shoulders, crossing his arms over his chest. “We’re men. Toughen the hell up.”

  “That’s more like it,” Mack laughed.

  They went back to where Taylor and Abigail sat amongst the rest of the tourists heading out to Buck Island for a day of snorkeling and beaching. It was an uninhabited island that served as a national park. Most of the park consisted of an underwater trail through a reef.

  It was the perfect day for it. A bright sun hung high in a sky that only had a single skinny cloud that stretched across the island. The water was a clear blue sea of calm that the boat sliced smoothly through.

  Mack sat next to Abigail, but she only acknowledged him with a look. The sun glinted off her eyes, matching them to the beautiful water.

  He started to say something, but at that moment one of the snorkel guides came on deck to give them her spiel.

  ###

  Abigail sat
on the side of the boat, tugging on her fins. Securing her mask and snorkel in place, she pushed off and slid into the warm water. She rose to the surface quickly, but didn’t raise her head. She was too entranced with what she was seeing. Schools of fish swam along the bottom towards the reef that started a short swim away. She glanced around, unable to find Taylor. She did find Grant, however.

  His eyes looked huge in his mask. She laughed and instantly inhaled water through her snorkel. She lifted her head out of the water and coughed until she couldn’t anymore.

  “You good?” Grant asked, concern evident in the tension around his mouth.

  “Fine.” She put her snorkel back in her mouth and took deep breaths as she swam towards the group heading for the reef.

  Abigail didn’t want to think about Grant, but she couldn’t seem to stop. She’d wanted him for so long, and now she was scared that if she let her feelings go any further, it wouldn’t turn out so well. Plus, she knew there was a good chance he’d be going to another team this summer, and she didn’t want to be completely broken when he left.

  She shouldn’t have let last night happen. It was her own fault. That stupid game. “I want to know you,” she’d said to him. She couldn’t help wanting every piece of him, but when that meant giving every piece of herself, she’d shut him out.

  Trust didn’t come easily to her.

  Life would be simpler if they could leave feelings out of it. How unrealistic was that?

  The reef was gorgeous. Shallow in parts, quite deep in others. Grant swam at her side the entire time. They got excited together when they saw turtles and rays. She grabbed his arm when a small reef shark swam by.

  Taylor and Josh were already back at the boat when they were done.

  The snorkel guides packed the gear into bins as the snorkelers all returned to the boat. It wasn’t long before they were headed back.

  The boat trip didn’t take much time, and they were all ready to head back to their rental house for a low key afternoon.

  The drive was long and scenic. In the back seat next to Grant, Abigail rested her head against the warm glass and watched as they passed small island houses next to sugar mill ruins. The island was unlike anything she’d ever seen. There was a beauty in its simplicity, in the calm pace of life. She sighed, knowing she wouldn’t be there forever.

  They pulled through the gate at their house and got out, slamming the doors behind them before going inside.

  “I’m going to jump in the pool,” Taylor said, running towards the back porch as she shed her cover-up. Josh followed her, leaving Abigail and Grant standing awkwardly in the kitchen.

  “I think I’ll take a shower,” Abigail said, scooting by him towards the bathroom.

  She stripped down and stepped under the hot spray. Ten minutes later, she was dressed and sitting on her bed as she brushed her wet hair.

  There was a soft knock on her door.

  “Yeah?” she called.

  “Can I come in?” Grant asked.

  “Free country.”

  He opened the door and stepped through, taking a seat on the corner of her bed.

  “So,” he started. “I have a theory.”

  “You do?” She quirked an eyebrow.

  “Hear me out.”

  “Shoot.”

  He hesitated a moment before speaking. “I think you like me.”

  She laughed.

  “It’s like when we were kids,” he continued. “When you liked someone, you ignored them or teased them.”

  “So, I’m like a kid in your scenario?”

  “No.” He laughed. “Well, I guess so. Except it’s the adult version. You sleep with me, and then act like nothing happened.”

  “Isn’t that what you do to, like, everyone?”

  “Not to you. You know why I had to develop a theory about you? Because I like you. You should know that by now. And I’d like to believe there’s something here.”

  “There is,” she said. “Sarcasm, future fights, and oh so much attractiveness.”

  “Abigail,” he growled. “Be serious for one damn minute.”

  “I can’t. If I’m serious, then I get all messed up. You aren’t the only thing in my life I have to avoid.”

  “One day I hope you tell me what those things are.”

  “Stop being so damn nice,” she yelled. “You’re Grant Mackenzie. You’re supposed to be smooth and seductive, not sincere and sweet. You want to know why I slept with you all those months ago?”

  He stayed quiet, letting her speak.

  “It was because things with Colin were getting serious. I was falling in love with him, and I couldn’t stand it. You cured me of that because being with you changed how he saw me. I was no longer perfect to him. Is that what you want to hear? I used you because I couldn’t stand the pedestal.”

  Grant flinched, but didn’t give up. “After that, though, you couldn’t get me out of your head, could you? You felt something for me, something that made you go so far as to stay with him to protect me.”

  “Maybe I just felt bad for you.”

  “I don’t buy that.” He leaned forward and ran a hand over her hair, down the angle of her cheek, stopping at the hard set of her jaw. “Tell me if you want to be with me. All I ask is your honesty.”

  She shivered underneath his touch. Her jaw worked back and forth before finally relaxing as her shoulders dropped. “Fine,” she said. “I admit there’s something here. It’s been here since our first night together.” Her voice grew quiet. “I wish it’d go away.”

  “That would be easier, wouldn’t it?” He gave her a soft kiss, waiting for her to respond. She did, with all the fire and passion he knew her for.

  He smiled against her lips. She was beautiful, a real pain in the ass, and finally his.

  Seven

  “I can’t believe it’s our last day here.” Taylor sighed as she dropped onto the couch beside Abigail.

  “I wish we didn’t have to go back,” Abigail responded, not lifting her eyes from her computer screen as she scrolled down the page.

  “What’re you doing?” Taylor leaned over to read as Abigail shut the lid. “Why were you reading about Mack?”

  “I wasn’t.”

  “Oh, you so were.” She grabbed the laptop from Abigail and opened it. The screen lit up, revealing the articles Abigail had been looking through.

  “I was just curious.” Abigail shrugged.

  “Yeah right,” Taylor laughed. “I knew it! I told Josh there was something between you guys that was more than the kiss we saw at the beach. This is perfect.”

  “How is it perfect? Aren’t you reading any of those?” She inclined her head towards the screen.

  “Rumors.” Taylor scrolled down. “All of them.”

  “There’s always some truth in a rumor.”

  “There’s no point in worrying about them, though.”

  “There’s also no point in dating someone who might very well be leaving.”

  “Look,” Taylor said, setting the laptop aside and turning to her friend. “Mack is a hockey player. There will always be the chance of a trade. You need to know that up front.”

  “I guess.” She leaned back with a sigh.

  “When you were searching for stuff on Mack, did you see - “

  “No,” Abigail cut her off. “Nothing about Vegas.”

  “That’d be because I made a call,” Grant said, walking up behind the couch. “I called a reporter at the Dispatch who I’ve always had a good relationship with. He has the story already. I told him if he holds off a week, I’ll give him a few quotes, making the article more than just a he said/she said.”

  “Right.” Abigail stood up to face him. “Were you listening to all of that?”

  “Sound in this house travels.” He shrugged.

  “Sure. Whatever.” She brushed by him. “I need coffee.”

  She went to the kitchen and poured herself a mug
before stepping out onto the porch. So much for their last day in the Caribbean. Large droplets of rain pounded against the metal roof, drowning out any other sounds. She thought she heard someone yelling inside, so she went back in.

  “What?” she called.

  “We’re going to grab some lunch in town,” Josh answered. “You coming?”

  “Nah, you guys go,” she answered as a flash of lightning made her jump.

  As soon as they left, her phone started ringing. Fishing it from her pocket, she answered without checking to see who it was.

  “Hello? Abi?”

  The voice jolted her away from the storm.

  “Eric?” she asked, squeezing her eyes shut.

  “Hi, sis.” There was a sadness in his voice that Abigail would never have associated with her happy little brother. She’d been sullen and angry growing up. He’d done a much better job of dealing with their parents and still being a kid. They were only a year apart in age, but much different in everything else.

  Abigail stayed silent as she waited for him to speak, to explain why he was calling when he’d written her off just like everyone else the day she left. That hurt the worst.

  “So …” he started. “Um … I’m calling because …”

  “Spit it out, Eric.”

  “I want to leave Nashville.”

  Abigail almost choked on her own tongue. She slammed her coffee mug on a table nearby and exhaled a long breath, telling herself she wasn’t going to lose her temper with her brother.

  “I know what you’re going to say,” he continued, the words rushing out of his mouth. “I was awful to you, Abi. And I feel really bad. That’s the God’s honest truth. I didn’t understand. And I was angry you were leaving me. But I can’t stay here. You know how toxic it is.”

  “So, why are you calling me?”

  “You’re my sister.” He hesitated. “And I need help.”

  “Of course you do.” She sighed.

  “Look, I got a job working construction in Louisville, and a buddy of mine up there has a room for me.”

  “What’d Mom and Dad do to keep you from leaving?” She thought she knew where this conversation was going. It was way too familiar.

  “I just got arrested.”