A Love Like This

by Maria Duffy

  Donna nodded. Sometimes there just weren’t words. It was good to know there was somebody who cared so much about her. God only knows how lonely she’d felt for most of her life and especially in the last few years. But Jan, as she said herself, was like a mother to her and having a mother was something she had very little experience of.

  ‘Come on,’ said Jan, standing up. ‘It’s your last day so you’d better make it count. There’s a vanilla sponge there ready to be iced for a birthday. All the details are in the notebook.’

  Donna stood up too. ‘Yes, boss. I’ll get right to it.’ She felt a little sad to be finishing the job she loved today but as soon as she started mixing the icing to decorate the cake, her heart soared. This was where she felt happiest. This was what made her feel alive. She was looking forward to her trip but she had no doubts that, when it was over, she was going to be right back here doing what she loved. For the first time in her life, she felt like she belonged.

  * * *

  Will looked around at the half-empty bar and, for the first time in a long time, he felt a little pang of loneliness. There wasn’t a lot he missed about his life in Ireland, but one thing he did miss was the nightlife. Dublin city centre would be heaving at this time on a Friday night and it would be impossible to get a seat in any pub in the capital. There were a lot of things he loved about Perth but it just didn’t compare to his hometown when it came to partying.

  ‘Here we go,’ said Brendan, placing a tray of drinks on the table. ‘Drink up, birthday boy. It’s not every day you reach a quarter of a century.’

  ‘Thanks for reminding me.’ Will smiled and took a slug from his bottle of beer. ‘Twenty-five years old and still aimlessly wandering.’

  ‘It’s not a bad thing, mate. Look at me – I’m not much older than you and I’ve never really had a chance to wander. Take it while you can.’

  Will stared at Brendan. ‘What are you talking about? I thought you and Lexie were rock solid. I thought wandering would be the last thing on your mind.’

  Brendan lowered his voice so as the other friends around the table wouldn’t hear. ‘I do love her, Will. She’s gorgeous and funny and, well, she’s pretty much perfect.’

  ‘But …?’

  ‘But I just wish I’d done a bit more before I settled down. It feels like we’ve been married for a lifetime and now she’s talking about having kids.’

  ‘And is that not what you want?’ Will was shocked by his friend’s revelations. He’d envied Brendan and Lexie’s relationship. They always seemed so together and in love and it was something Will aspired to.

  ‘I’ve never wanted kids, to be honest. I made that clear to Lexie right from the start and she told me back then that she felt the same. But now she’s going on about biological clocks and how women have inbuilt clucky genes.’

  ‘You’ll sort it out, though, won’t you? I mean, maybe in a few years’ time you’ll feel differently about kids.’

  Brendan took a few long gulps of his beer and shook his head. ‘I honestly don’t think so. I’ve never felt a want or need to have kids in my life. In fact, I can’t think of anything worse. Does that make me a monster?’

  ‘Of course not.’

  ‘Well, that’s what she says. She says it’s unnatural to feel that way.’

  ‘But you love her still, right?’

  ‘I really do,’ said Brendan, his eyes misting up a little. Will wasn’t sure whether it was from genuine emotion or the five beers he’d downed.

  ‘Well, then you’ll get over it. You’ll work it out.’

  Brendan bristled suddenly. ‘Shush. Don’t say a thing. Here she comes.’

  Will looked up and saw Lexie appearing from a door. She’d said she was going to powder her nose but that had obviously been a lie. She was holding a birthday cake with sparkling candles on the top and suddenly all Will’s friends broke into a chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’.

  ‘Thanks, everyone,’ said Will, after he’d blown out the candles and was busy cutting up the cake. ‘I really didn’t expect that.’

  ‘It was all Lexie’s idea.’ Brendan nodded towards his wife and Will noted the admiration in his eyes. All wasn’t lost yet.

  ‘Well, thank you, Lexie. You’re very good. And this cake looks delicious.’

  ‘No problem, Will. Mine is next month so I’ll be expecting the same.’

  Will raised his eyebrows. ‘I think you know full well I’ll have moved on by then. In fact I’d be gone by now if it wasn’t for you bullying me into meeting this friend of yours.’

  ‘How very dare you, Will.’ Lexie pretended to slap him across the face. ‘I didn’t bully you – I just suggested, enticed, encouraged. I’m telling you, when she arrives on Sunday, you’ll be thanking me.’

  ‘Hmm! We’ll just have to wait and see.’ But Will was feeling excited about it. Something was telling him that he and this girl were going to hit it off and he was really looking forward to meeting her.

  ‘A penny for them.’

  ‘What?’ Will looked blankly at Lexie.

  ‘Your thoughts. A penny for them. You were miles away.’

  ‘Sorry about that,’ laughed Will. ‘I was actually thinking about your friend.’

  ‘Were you now?’ Lexie’s eyes twinkled. ‘And fancy you two having birthdays on the same day. I’m telling you – it’s written in the stars.’

  Will laughed. ‘You don’t believe all of that mumbo jumbo stuff, do you? About signs and destiny and—’

  Will’s phone rang suddenly in his pocket, startling them both. He whipped it out and was surprised to see his mother’s mobile number showing on the screen. He’d already spoken to both his parents earlier so it was strange she was ringing again. He headed for the door so he could talk outside with no noise disturbing him.

  ‘Hello, Mum. I didn’t expect to hear from you again so s—. What?’ Will listened in silence as the happiness he’d felt all night crumbled down around him.

  Chapter 13

  ‘Oh my God, you look amazing, Lexie.’ Donna hugged her friend tightly, baggage abandoned at their feet. ‘I can’t believe I’m here. I honestly can’t take it in.’

  ‘It’s brilliant to see you,’ said Lexie, wiping a tear from her eye. ‘It’s about bloody time you came over to us.’

  ‘And you must be Brendan.’ Donna extended a hand to the man standing beside her friend but he wasn’t having any of it.

  ‘Come here. You don’t think you’re getting away with shaking my hand when my wife got a hug like that.’

  Donna grinned and happily accepted a hug. She was so relieved. It had been her one dread that she wouldn’t like Lexie’s husband but from what she saw already, he was a lovely guy. She let herself relax as they walked out to the car park and blinked as the afternoon sun hit her face.

  ‘Gosh, the heat is unreal,’ she said, rooting in her bag for her sunglasses. ‘I’ve never felt anything like it.’

  Brendan shook his head. ‘Well, then you haven’t lived. This is actually chilly, to be honest. You’d want to feel the heat in the summer.’

  ‘Oh, I’d forgotten this is your winter. It just shows how bad our weather is over in Ireland.’

  ‘Right, here we are.’ Brendan stopped the trolley beside his car and lifted the large rucksack and smaller wheelie case into the boot. ‘You travel light.’

  Donna nodded as they got into the car. ‘I didn’t think there was much point taking a lot of stuff since I’ll be doing some travelling and I’ll be back home in a few months anyway.’

  ‘But I thought all you women needed at least ten pairs of heels to survive.’

  ‘Not Donna,’ said Lexie, grinning. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in a pair of high shoes in her life.’

  Donna laughed. ‘That’s true. I’m more of a Converse sort of girl.’

  ‘What?’ Brendan’s mouth gaped open and glanced around at Donna as they moved off. ‘A woman who doesn’t wear heels? Now that’s a first.’

  Donna
sat back and looked out the window as they drove out of the airport. Lexie had said it was only a thirty-minute drive so she was already looking forward to seeing where her friend lived and to having a proper cup of tea with real milk instead of those little artificial milk things they gave you on the plane.

  The whole experience of flying had been completely new to her. She hadn’t been scared like she’d expected but had found the flight long and boring. She’d spent a lot of the time just thinking about things and it had made her realise that she never afforded herself time to reflect. But the eleven-hour flight to Singapore and the further five hour one to Perth had given her time to think about the last few years and about what she wanted for the future.

  ‘Here we are,’ said Brendan, pulling up into a driveway. ‘Did you enjoy your little sleep?’

  ‘I didn’t … I wasn’t …’

  Lexie laughed. ‘You were fast asleep, Donna. There was even a bit of snoring and a grunt or two.’

  ‘Oh God, I’m sorry. I must have dropped off.’

  Brendan hopped out of the car and opened the door for her. ‘Don’t worry. You’ve had a long day and jetlag is a terrible thing. It will take you a few days to adjust.’

  ‘Come on,’ said Lexie, rushing up to the front door. ‘Brendan will get the luggage. Let’s go inside and put the kettle on.’

  Ten minutes later they were sitting outside on the patio, drinking tea and eating cake. Lexie had offered to make Donna a sandwich but she wasn’t really feeling hungry.

  ‘Sorry it’s not up to your standards.’ Lexie nodded towards the shop-bought sponge cake. ‘I thought about trying to make one but I’d only show myself up. Baking isn’t my thing.’

  ‘Don’t be silly. This is delicious.’ But Lexie was right. Donna couldn’t help comparing every cake she ate to her own efforts. This one was too dry – probably overcooked – and the orange flavour was artificial, as though they’d used essence rather than natural flavours. ‘And to be honest, all I really want to do now is sleep. I was going to try and not go to bed until later tonight because I read that it was the best way to combat jetlag, but if I don’t close my eyes for even an hour, I’ll be fit for nothing later.’

  ‘Lexie will bring you up,’ said Brendan, swallowing a mouthful of tea. ‘I’ve left your stuff in the spare room and the bed is all made up and ready for you.’

  Donna was grateful. ‘Thanks. I really appreciate that. I’ll set my alarm to wake me up in a couple of hours.’

  ‘Take whatever time you need.’ Lexie smiled warmly at her. ‘We might just stick the barbeque on later and have a quiet one. There’ll be plenty of time for you to meet everyone over the coming weeks.’

  ‘That sounds great.’ Donna didn’t even bother undressing when Lexie left the room but instead slipped between the crisp white sheets. As she drifted off to sleep, she thought about Tina and imagined how she’d have felt earlier stepping off that plane. It had been her dream. Donna felt a pang of sadness but she wasn’t going to let it take over. She was going to do all the things her sister had dreamed of and just hope it would make a difference.

  ‘This is for you, Tina O’Neill,’ she whispered to herself before she fell into a deep, relaxed sleep.

  * * *

  ‘Mum! I got here as quick as I could. How is he?’ It had been a fraught couple of days since Will had got his mum’s phone call to say his dad had been taken to hospital after suffering a massive heart attack. He’d packed his stuff and gone straight to the airport to catch the first flight home.

  ‘Hello, William.’ His mum stood up and kissed him on the cheek before falling back into the plastic hospital chair. ‘He’s comfortable at the moment.’

  ‘You look awful, Mum. Have you been here since he was brought in? Have you not had any rest?’

  Vivienne Cooper-Smith paused and then cleared her throat before speaking. Will couldn’t help feeling slightly irritated. Even when she was with her family, she acted as though she was about to talk to a client.

  ‘I’ve been back and forth,’ she said, not looking at him. ‘I went home to get some bits and pieces for your daddy and I managed to grab a few hours’ sleep too.’

  Will sat down on the seat beside her in the family room. ‘And is he conscious? I mean, what sort of a state is he in? Can I see him? Are they telling you anything?’

  Vivienne clicked her tongue as if agitated. ‘Get a hold of yourself, William. One question at a time.’

  ‘Sorry, Mum. I’m just anxious. It’s been a long flight and I’m out of my mind with exhaustion and with worry.’

  She looked at him then and patted his hand awkwardly. ‘I’m sure you must be, love. Come on. I’ll take you in to him.’

  ‘But don’t we have to ask? Is he in intensive care?’

  ‘No, he’s in a ward. Come on and see for yourself.’

  Will was dreading seeing his father looking helpless. He’d been talking to a girl in the seat beside him on the flight and she’d warned him about a few things. She was a nurse and said that when people had that sort of trauma, it could put years on them and the families often got upset when they saw how frail and vulnerable their loved ones looked.

  ‘William! How lovely to see you. I couldn’t believe it when your mum said you were coming.’

  Will’s eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw his father sitting up in the bed, reading The Irish Times. ‘Dad! I thought you were at death’s door. I’m delighted you’re looking so well but Mum told me you were on your death bed.’

  His mother reddened as they both looked at her. ‘Well, I hardly said he was on his death bed. Don’t exaggerate, dear.’

  ‘But you said it was really serious – that he could die any minute.’

  ‘Vivienne!’ Will’s dad looked shocked. ‘How could you tell the lad that? Why would you say such a thing?’

  ‘Well, it could have been true. I … I was upset when they brought you in. And when they said it was a heart attack, I panicked.’

  ‘Mum, you could have rung me back. You could have put my mind at ease. Do you realise the hell I went through travelling for twenty hours and not knowing if Dad was alive or dead?’

  ‘I’m really sorry, son,’ said George, glaring at his wife. ‘If I’d known, I never would have let her tell you that. You’ve had a wasted journey, I’m afraid. I’m not going to pop my clogs just yet.’

  ‘Well, you might, you don’t know that.’ Vivienne was grasping at straws and Will felt disgusted.

  ‘It’s not a wasted journey, Dad,’ said Will generously. ‘I get to see you, don’t I? And I’m really glad you’re not on your death bed.’

  George grinned. ‘Me too. Now why don’t you go off home and get some rest. They’re saying they might let me home tomorrow so we’ll be able to have a proper catch-up then.’

  ‘Tomorrow?’ Will was amazed. He’d braced himself for the worst and there was his dad, looking healthier than he’d seen him in a long time.

  ‘Yes. It was just a mild heart attack – more a warning than anything.’

  ‘Come on, William,’ said his mother, standing up. ‘We’ll get you home and settled and we can check in on your dad after you get some rest.’

  Will couldn’t argue with that because he was exhausted. He said goodbye to his dad and let his mother lead the way to her car. He didn’t want to argue with her but he was finding it hard to bite his tongue. How could she have deceived him like that? Did she not consider his feelings and how he’d be fretting for the whole journey home? Sometimes he really wondered if his mother loved him at all.

  ‘So why did you do it, Mum?’ They were on the M50 heading home. ‘Why did you tell me things were so serious when you knew Dad was going to be fine?’

  ‘Well, I didn’t know that at the time, love. And I just felt so alone. Your daddy was gone for tests and all I could think about was having you here with me.’

  Will glanced at her and, for the first time ever, he saw vulnerability. His tone softened. ‘It’s ni
ce you wanted me here, Mum, but to get me home under false pretences …’

  ‘I know, love, and I’m sorry. I know I should have rung you back but when I made that call I really was worried about him. I know I don’t always show it, but I really love him, you know.’

  They were already home and Will reached out and touched his mother’s hand as she turned off the ignition. ‘I know you do. And I love him too. That’s why what you did was so terrible. I’ve had a horrible couple of days.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, looking down at her hands. ‘It’s just that … it’s just …’

  To Will’s alarm, big fat tears began to stream down his mother’s cheeks. He’d never seen her cry before.

  ‘What is it, Mum?’ He didn’t put his arm around her because he was still upset but he spoke to her in kinder tones.

  Vivienne sniffed. ‘Oh, William. I missed you so much when you were over in Australia. I couldn’t bear not having you around. I know I went about it the wrong way, but I just wanted you home.’

  ‘Well, I’m home now but it won’t be for long, so let’s make the best of the time we have.’

  Part of Will understood why his mother had done it and he even felt a bit sorry for her, but as he stepped inside the house, he didn’t feel all warm and fuzzy, remembering happy times. He didn’t let the scents of home waft over him and make him feel like he belonged. Instead, he just felt sad. His mother had manipulated him – just like she’d done all his life. Maybe if he’d come home under his own steam, things would be different but, right now, the house just felt like a symbol of everything that made him want to leave in the first place.

  ‘Now, I’ve freshened up your bedclothes and left some clean pyjamas on the bed.’ There was no sign of his mother’s earlier vulnerability. ‘You go on up and unpack your stuff and I’ll make us something to eat.’

  ‘I won’t be unpacking, Mum.’ Will knew that if he didn’t stand up to her now, he was running the risk of falling into old habits.

  ‘Well, if you’re tired, you can leave it until later. There’s no hurry.’ Vivienne led the way into the kitchen, where she filled the kettle with water.