Forty and Free: A Sweet Romance Series Bundle - Books 1 - 4

by Blake, Lillianna

  She thought for a moment and then laughed. “I don’t think I have any memories I’d like to spend time in.”

  “Really?” His eyebrows rose. “Not one?”

  “I guess maybe some times from my childhood. To be honest, the time I felt the happiest was a time I’d rather not remember.”

  “Why is that?” He leaned forward a little, ignoring his steak.

  “Oh, you know, water under the bridge.” She scooped up some rice and avoided his eyes.

  She hadn’t intended for the date to become a confessional. Although she enjoyed meeting people, she never really shared much about herself with them. Dane had a way of penetrating her normal barriers without her even realizing it. When she looked back up, he was still focused on her.

  “You’re quite intriguing, you know that?”

  “Intriguing? I don’t think anyone has ever called me that before.” She grinned.

  “I wonder how someone gets so adept at hiding.” He took another bite of his steak.

  She nearly choked on a carrot and reached for her glass of wine. After taking a swallow she looked back at him. “Excuse me?”

  “I’m sorry, was that too blunt? I really am not good at conversation—I mean small talk.” He frowned. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

  “You didn’t. I’d just like to know what you meant.” Her voice hardened some along the edges.

  “It’s just that you present yourself in a certain way, but I suspect that underneath, you’re quite different.”

  “And what if I’m not? What if what you see is what you get?” She narrowed her eyes.

  “I don’t believe it is. I’m pretty good at reading people too. I’ve spent a lot of time watching others instead of interacting. You put on a good show, but I doubt you’re as confident as you’d like people to believe.”

  She set down her fork and stared at him. “Yes, you are out of practice. I thought we were sharing dinner, not a therapy session.”

  “If I’m wrong, I’m wrong. It’s not as if there’s anything wrong with who you present yourself to be. You’re a stunning woman who grabs the attention of everyone around her—intelligent, determined. I just think that you’re also fairly detached. That’s not meant to be an insult. I think I’m only recognizing it because I’m pretty detached as well. Please, forgive me if I’ve wandered off into a difficult subject.”

  “It’s not difficult, it’s just not true.” She finished the last bite of her food.

  “You said yourself that you were here to get to know yourself.” He shrugged. “I was just following that lead.” He took the last bite of his steak.

  She sat back in her chair and studied him. Her temper was ruffled—not by his words, but by how perceptive he was. She wasn’t used to someone being able to see straight through her.

  “I guess you’re right about that. Would you like some dessert?”

  “No, thank you. I’m stuffed.” He looked away from her and she saw his hand going for his pocket—most likely for his wallet.

  “Don’t even try it. I said it’s my treat.”

  He sighed and put his hand back on the table. “If you insist.”

  “I do.”

  Once the bill was settled, Ella stood up from the table.

  Chapter 15

  Dane stood up from the table in the same moment that Ella did.

  “Thank you for dinner,” he said.

  “You’re welcome.” She offered a small smile.

  As he followed her toward the door, he felt a deep pull not to let her walk away. Something stirred in him that warned him that if he did he might never see her again. He couldn’t explain why exactly, but he wasn’t ready to let her go.

  She reached for the door to push it open.

  He caught her other hand with his. “Would you like to go for a walk? On the beach?”

  She looked back at him with a hint of surprise in her eyes. “Oh. I hadn’t planned on it.”

  “I thought you were the spontaneous type?” He looked into her eyes and gave her hand a light squeeze. “Or am I mistaken?”

  “Ah, you are clever, aren’t you?” She smiled. “Alright. I suppose a walk on the beach would be nice.”

  He felt a sense of relief that she’d agreed, but it was quickly followed by a sense of panic. What was it about this woman that had him feeling snared? He couldn’t seem to shake free of it.

  A long wooden ramp led down to the water behind the restaurant.

  He noticed that she didn’t pull her hand away as they walked. He considered letting go, but thought it might be rude. Her hand in his seemed oddly natural, as if there didn’t need to be an explanation for it.

  The rush of the waves soothed his nerves, though he was sure his palm was sweaty.

  Not far from the ramp she kicked off her high heels. He watched as she revealed her bare feet and noticed that even her toenails were painted perfectly.

  “Are you going to take yours off?” She released her hand and reached up to pull the pins from her hair.

  He was mesmerized by the sight of her hair as it tumbled down along her neck and settled against the curve of her shoulders.

  “I hadn’t planned on it.” He blinked, startled by his own words.

  “It’s not a walk on the beach if your toes aren’t in the sand.” The warmth of her smile ignited a heat within him that surprised him.

  “Well, it’s not so easy for me—there are shoelaces and socks to think about.”

  “That’s your problem, Dane.” She winked at him. “You think too much. Keep your shoes on if you want, but you’ll be missing out.”

  He grinned as he bent down to untie his shoes. He eased one off, then the other. He tugged his socks off and tucked them into his shoes. Then he set his shoes neatly beside hers. Something about that visual—of his shoes beside hers—sparked a sense of anticipation for him.

  He didn’t have time to think about it. Ella grabbed his hand and charged straight for the water. Dane almost lost his balance as she ran.

  “Wait a minute, where are you taking me?”

  “Relax, Dane. Let’s have a little fun.”

  Caught up in the moment, he laughed and let her tug him toward the edge of the water. When she stuck her toes in, he grinned at the way she clung to him in reaction to the cooler temperature.

  “Not as warm as it was earlier, huh?” He released her hand and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. When he did, he felt her muscles tense. He opened his mouth to question it, but before he could, she’d waded further into the water and right out from under his arm.

  “Ella, what are you doing?” He stared at her as she turned to face him. Once more he was struck by her beauty as the moonlight framed her against the water.

  “Being spontaneous—like you said. Are you coming in?” She reached for his hand.

  He drew back before she could grab it. “I’m not interested in getting my pants wet.” He eyed her as she inched back in the water further.

  “So take them off.” She grinned.

  “Your skirt is going to get soaked if you’re not careful.”

  “So I’ll take it off.” She grabbed the hem of her skirt and started to pull it up.

  Dane turned around before he could see more than what he thought he should. “Ella, please.” His cheeks were hot as he stared off across the empty beach.

  “What? You’ve never been skinny-dipping before?”

  “Not with someone I just met.”

  “So you have.”

  “Not like this.” He tensed as he felt her hands snake over his shoulders in a soothing rub. He refused to turn back to face her, as he had no idea what he might see.

  “Are you sure I can’t tempt you?”

  He caught her hands as they began to rub down over his chest. “Ella.” His voice was calm but his grip was firm. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but this is a little too much for me.”

  “Seriously?” She pulled her hands back from his. He heard the wat
er slosh as she walked around in front of him. He was relieved to see that she still had her dress on. “You’re turning me down? I wasn’t even going to offer, but you seemed so—I don’t know—lonely, I guess.”

  “I’m not lonely.” He met her eyes and did his best to hide his frustration.

  “You invited me to take a walk on the beach. I thought you wanted to—you know…” She quirked a brow. “You don’t?”

  “I’m not that kind of guy, Ella. I’m sorry. I mean no offense, but you’re moving way too fast for me.” He shook his head. “I guess Thomas was right about the dating scene. I’m definitely not ready for anything like this. I should go.” He started to walk out of the water, but Ella stepped in front of him.

  “Is this some kind of ploy? Are you trying to make me think that you’re the last great gentleman on Earth?”

  “I’m not trying to make you think anything, Ella. I asked you to take a walk with me because—well, I wanted to get to know you better.”

  “Which is what we were doing.” She narrowed her eyes. “What’s the problem?”

  “I want to get to know you, Ella.” He touched her shoulder gently. “Not your body.” He dropped his eyes for a moment to avoid the anger he felt rise in him, then he looked back at her. “This is just another way that you hide. Don’t you see that? You meet some guy and throw yourself at him?”

  “Hey, wait just a minute. I wasn’t throwing myself at you!” She snapped her words.

  He realized he’d lost his grip on being polite.

  “I thought you wanted to have some fun,” she said. “I was just trying to loosen you up a little bit. I never said we were going any further than that. How dare you accuse me of something like that?”

  He raised an eyebrow and looked into her eyes. “So you’re telling me that I’m wrong? That if I threw off my clothes and jumped in the water with you this wouldn’t have ended up the way I predicted? Am I so boring that you couldn’t imagine that happening?”

  “Dane, you’re way off-base.” She crossed her arms and turned to walk out of the water.

  Dane followed after her. He reached out and caught her elbow before she could escape him. “I’m not the one out of line here, Ella. You’re telling me that after one dinner, you’re ready to take things to such an intimate place?”

  “Oh, please.” She rolled her eyes. “It’s just a naked body—just sex. You really are from the ice ages.”

  “I guess I am.” He let his hand fall away from her elbow. “Because to me, it would never be just a naked body. It would be your beautiful body. It would never just be sex. It would be an expression of trust and desire—for one special person. I thought maybe there was something here, but I guess we have two very different ideas of what that might be.”

  Chapter 16

  Ella wasn’t sure if she was more furious or embarrassed, but her face was hot. She stared back at him with her shoulders high. He’d managed to pluck every nerve she had.

  “I guess we do seem to have different ideas of what’s going on here, since you basically just called me easy.”

  “I did no such thing.” He took a step closer to her, his gaze steady.

  She looked back into his eyes without backing down. “No?”

  “No.” He took her hand in his.

  She wanted to pull back, but she couldn’t get her mind and body to communicate to one another.

  “I would never call you that. You’re a wonderful woman, Ella, I can see that. You’re fun, passionate—you have your own ways and I can respect that. But I have mine too. What you want, at least what I think you want—maybe a few hours of ecstasy—that’s not what I would ever want from you. In fact, I’m not even sure what I do want. But I can tell you that if we spent the night together, I wouldn’t be disappearing the next day. It wouldn’t be an adventure that you could mark off on your calendar. If that’s what you want, then you have the wrong man. That’s all I’m trying to say.”

  She shook her head. “You’re really strange, Dane.”

  “I warned you that I might be.”

  “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I was just trying to give you what I thought you wanted.”

  “I know that.” He drew her hand to his lips. “But I’m not interested in what you think I want. You should be more interested in what you want.”

  She watched as if she was someone else viewing the moment from a distance, as he brushed his lips across her knuckles and the back of her hand to leave a soft kiss. Her heart fluttered. His words only made her angrier. She didn’t want to feel what she felt for him. Maybe that was why she had pushed the envelope. She wanted to get it, whatever was brewing in her, out of her system and move on.

  “I can tell you that I’m not interested in lectures.”

  “Fine.” He released her hand. “I’m not giving any.”

  “Did you ever consider that maybe you’re hiding too?” She pursed her lips. “Obviously, you’ve been out of the dating scene for a long time, Dane. Why? What are you afraid of?”

  He looked away from her and cleared his throat. “Maybe it’s time we call it a night.”

  “I think you’re right.” She turned away from him. As she walked back to her shoes, she tried to calm herself down. Her mixed emotions left her feeling dizzy. Was she furious? Was she infatuated?

  She reached down to pick up her high heels in the same moment that Dane reached for his sneakers, knocking their hands together.

  “Sorry.” He muttered his words and snatched up his shoes.

  “Didn’t I tell you to stop apologizing?”

  “I don’t see how I can stop apologizing when you are offended by everything I say.” He sat down to tug on his socks.

  “I’m not offended.”

  He looked up at her. “You could have fooled me.”

  “I might have been a little offended. I think we just speak a different language.”

  He sighed as he tied his shoes. “I get it. Don’t worry, Ella. We had a nice meal. I’m clearly a bit boring for your taste.”

  She watched as he tied his laces. As he moved to tie his other shoe she reached out and stopped his hand.

  “I don’t think you’re boring, Dane.” She waited until he looked over at her. “I’m sorry. I’m a pretty impulsive person. I take things too far sometimes.”

  “What did you say about apologizing to me? I think that applies to you too.”

  “Good.” She smiled and held his gaze. “You’re intriguing too, you know.”

  “You think?” He smiled a little. “I thought you said I was boring.”

  “I think we need the chance to get to know one another better—if you’re still intrigued, that is?” Her heart raced as she awaited his response. Would he still want anything to do with her? She wasn’t entirely sure why she cared, but there was no question that she did.

  The length of time that he looked at her in silence made her wonder if she was crazy to even ask.

  “You’d like to get to know me better?”

  “Yes, Dane. I would like to get to know you better.” She looked back into his eyes. “Do you want to get to know me better?”

  He was silent again—for just a moment—before he nodded.

  “We’re going snorkeling tomorrow—my son and I. Would you like to join us? I’ll keep an eye on you.”

  “Snorkeling? I can honestly say that is something that I’ve never done.”

  “Well, then you’ll fit right in. Thomas and I haven’t done it before either.”

  “That sounds like fun. You don’t think your son will mind?”

  “I’m sure he won’t.” Dane grinned. He could imagine his son high-fiving him the moment he shared the news.

  “Okay. I’d love to join you. What time?”

  “Ten.” He brushed her hair back from the shoulder of her dress. “Will you make it? Or am I going to have to be patient?”

  “I’ll do my best.” She caught his hand as it fell away from her shoulder. “Thanks for an in
teresting night, Dane. I have to say, you are full of surprises.”

  “I’m the one with all of the surprises?” He smiled. “I have a feeling you have a few of your own to reveal.”

  “Hm, maybe revealing isn’t the best bet with you.” She winked at him.

  She could hear him laughing as she walked away from him.

  With every step she took toward the parking lot, her heart lurched. By the time she got back to her cottage, she thought she might need to lie down. Her skirt was damp at the hem when she pulled her dress off.

  She recalled the determined way that Dane had refused to look at her when he’d thought she’d been undressed in the water. Even Louis hadn’t been that proper.

  In fact, she and Louis had been together on their first date. Now she knew that he probably looked at her the same way she looked at the men she dated—as just a fun time. But on that first night, Ella didn’t see Louis that way. She’d idolized him from the first moment she’d seen him. He’d been handsome and confident, and he’d wanted her.

  Back then, she’d thought that was love. But never once had Louis made her feel the way that Dane seemed to be making her feel when he looked at her. She recalled Dane’s lips on the back of her hand, the way he gazed into her eyes, his demand that she think of her own desires. It was strange, but it set something free within her that she didn’t even realize was locked away.

  She grabbed her phone and typed out an e-mail to Nicole.

  Nicole,

  It looks like I’ve gotten myself into something wild. I’ve never felt this way before. Don’t hold this over my head, but I have to ask you a question. I thought I knew from being with Louis, but now I’m wondering…what does it feel like to fall in love?

  Ella

  She stared at the e-mail for a long moment. Nicole would give her the best advice, since she claimed to have found her soulmate just recently. But was Ella ready to even consider it? She hovered her finger over the phone. At the last moment, she hit delete instead of send.

  She stared across the cottage at the bare wall.

  Whatever Dane was doing to her, she wasn’t sure if she wanted it to continue.