As excited as she was to find out if Dane would connect with her, she was also afraid to find out that he might not. This was the risk that she’d been avoiding for so long. She might end up hurt in the end, but she knew that she’d regret it if she didn’t try.
For some last-minute support, she decided to call Jillian. Jillian seemed to get through to Ella in a way that no one else could.
“Morning, Ella, how are you?”
“I’m kidnapping Dane.”
“What? Hm—you might be going too far—”
“—Not with duct tape and a gun or anything. I’m luring him onto a boat with me, so that we can hash things out.”
“Hm. That’s better than duct tape and a gun for sure.”
“I thought so.” Ella laughed, despite all of the tension flowing through her. “Any last-minute advice for me?”
“Be you, Ella—not your dress, not your make-up, not what you think he wants you to be. The Ella he’s looking for isn’t the image that you present. It’s who you really are.”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I needed to hear. You’re amazing, Jillian. I never would have gotten through this without you.”
“I’m happy to help. I know that emotions can be the hardest things to navigate.”
“You’re so confident and comfortable with yourself. I wish I’d met you sooner in life. In fact, I wish I could take you home with me.” Ella laughed.
“I wish that too, Ella. I came on this vacation alone, but you’ve made it much more enjoyable. We can always e-mail if you want, or text. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you.”
“I’d like that. I’ve been so busy trying to hide from myself that I don’t have too many real friends—just the women on this site I belong to called Forty and Free. Your advice and insight would be priceless there.”
“I’ll have to check it out. Don’t forget to update me on how things go with Dane.”
“I promise I will.” Ella hung up the phone. After she talked to Jillian she felt even more optimistic. She hoped that she’d be able to continue her friendship with her.
Now she needed to get back to the cottage to get ready. She only had about an hour before the boat would be launched.
Would Thomas be able to convince his father to go?
Chapter 35
Dane expected Thomas to be at the hotel when he returned from the beach. When he opened the door, he found the hotel room empty again. This time there was a note on the table.
Dad,
Sorry I missed you this morning. Thought you needed some sleep. I’ve set up a boat trip for us at ten. Meet you there.
Thomas
Dane read the note again. It wasn’t like Thomas to plan things for them both. Maybe this was another one of his dates. He reached for his phone just as it buzzed with a text from Thomas.
Boat leaves in fifteen minutes. Hurry up.
Dane fired back a text.
Be there in ten.
He changed as fast as he could and grabbed a banana to eat on the way to the dock.
At the edge of the dock he saw what he assumed was the boat they’d be taking. It was small, probably meant to only take out three or four people. The captain was already in the small cabin. He didn’t see Thomas on the boat.
Dane hesitated, as he wondered if he might be in the wrong place, but there were no other boats around. He stepped onto the boat to ask the captain. Before he could get to the cabin, Ella stepped onto the boat behind him.
“Ella?” Dane drank in the sight of her. Every time he thought he might be able to get over her, he was reminded of just how mesmerized he was by her. “What are you doing here?”
“I came here to spend some time with you. Is that okay?” She stepped closer to him. “Or do you want me to go?”
“Where’s Thomas?” He looked past her toward the dock.
“He’s not coming.”
“What? He’s the one that invited me here.” Dane narrowed his eyes. “What is going on with that kid?”
“Dane, I asked him for his help.”
“You went to my son?” He frowned and looked back at her. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I wanted to be alone with you—somewhere that you couldn’t run away from me.”
The boat left the dock.
Dane gripped the railing tight and stared out across the water. “You’re not letting this go, are you?”
“Do you really want me to, Dane?” She touched his shoulder. “I don’t want to let it go. I think it’s time we were honest with each other.”
“I think you’re right.” He turned to face her. “I wasn’t being fair to you, Ella. I was treating you like a mistress, rather than a woman I’m truly interested in. I didn’t realize that until this morning, and I’m sorry.”
She stroked his cheek and looked into his eyes. “It’s okay. I was treating you like you might just be Louis all over again and that hasn’t been fair to you. I’m the one who’s sorry.”
“Tell me about him, Ella. I’ve told you about Pam. I know he broke your heart, but he did more than that, didn’t he?”
Ella looked down at the water and cleared her throat.
Dane could tell that it was difficult for her to talk about it.
“When I fell for Louis, I fell hard. I wrapped myself up in him. He was my world. If he was happy, I was happy. If he was angry, I was miserable. At first, we were always happy. Then we were always miserable. I tried so hard to please him—to make him want me. He took it a step further by insisting that if I would just agree to everything he wanted, then we’d be fine. I learned to keep my mouth shut, to think of his needs before even considering my own. The harder I tried, the more he pulled away.” She paused and shook her head. “I lost myself in all of it. I no longer knew what I wanted, what I liked, what I even dreamed about. Everything was about Louis. Then, out of the blue, he told me he was done. He’d never loved me, and he was bored. That was it.”
“I’m sorry you went through that.” He reached out and placed his hand over hers on the railing. “I guess my need for control reminded you of him.”
“A little.”
“I’m not him, Ella. I don’t want you to be anyone but you.”
Ella seemed to be looking at him very carefully before she spoke. “But it’s not fair of me to try to turn you into me either. I guess I’ve convinced myself that as long as we’re having fun, as long as there are no rules, it might just last. You might not want to walk away.”
Dane shifted closer to her and squeezed her hand. “I don’t want to walk away. I can’t imagine ever wanting to. I left last night, because I thought I was not what you wanted. Maybe we need to give each other time to actually know ourselves and then one another.”
“Then you don’t want to try?” Ella looked into his eyes.
“Oh, I want to try.” He smiled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “I want to fight for this, Ella. I don’t care about distance or the little issues that might come up. I want us to be together in whatever way we can.”
“Really?” Ella smiled. “Are you sure about that?”
“I’ve never been more certain of anything. If I go home without knowing that I can call you, visit you, continue to get to know every aspect of you—that would make me miserable. I know that now.”
“I’m glad you feel that way. I thought maybe you’d given up.” Her eyes lit up as she smiled at him.
“Never.” He brushed his hand back through her hair and placed his hand at the back of her neck. “I was afraid, but I want to be brave for you. I want to be strong enough to admit that my feelings for you are strong—not because of chemistry or this beautiful setting—but because I’m falling in love with you, Ella. It may be too soon to say that, it may terrify me to admit it, but it’s the truth and I don’t want to hide it anymore.”
Chapter 36
Ella gazed into Dane’s eyes in silence. They were the words that she’d longed to hear, and yet they made her feel anxious. Sh
e could see the fear in his eyes as he waited for her response. She knew that it was no longer just her own feelings that she had to think of. Dane had been strong enough to tell her the truth; was she strong enough to do the same?
She took a deep breath. “I’m not sure I ever knew what love was. I thought what I had with Louis was love, but every moment I spend with you proves to me that it wasn’t. I think I’m learning what it is now—from you—and it scares me too. But I do want it—more than anything.”
“Then no more running, no more hiding.” He leaned a little closer to her. “Let’s leave the past in the past. Let’s let this moment be a new beginning for both of us.”
“I’d like that.” Ella bit into her bottom lip. She tried to resist kissing him. She didn’t want to draw him into anything that he wasn’t ready for. But her entire body yearned for an opportunity to kiss him again. “I’m not sure who I am, and I think you’re still figuring that out too. Maybe we can find a way to figure that out together.”
“I think we can.” Dane kissed her cheek. She felt his lips so close to hers that a shiver carried down along her spine. It took all of her will not to turn her mouth to meet his. He brushed his lips along her cheek to her ear and whispered. “Don’t be afraid, Ella. From this moment on, it’s just you and I, no echoes of what was.”
“Yes. That’s what I want.” She felt his fingers tense around the back of her neck.
“I’m not afraid any more, Ella. I know what I want. It’s to be with you, however that turns out.” He swept his other arm around her waist, and pulled her close. In the same moment, he leaned in and met her lips with his own.
She didn’t expect the kiss. It caught her off guard and sent her spiraling into a new place. A place where she didn’t anticipate what to do next, or whether he was pleased enough. All that mattered was the graze of his lips, the power of his touch, and the intensity of what engulfed them both. She was lost in the potential of what would be and the joy of that very moment.
He deepened the kiss, instead of pulling away. He held her tighter, as if he truly would never let her go. Ella knew then that even if moments of fear shook them, they’d find a way to get through it together.
She pulled away and looked into his eyes.
“What is it?” He smiled at her and cupped her cheeks. He stroked the rise of her cheekbones, and down along the curve of her jaw. He savored her in a way that no man ever had before. She could see her value reflected in the glow of his eyes. He didn’t need her to be anyone but her. He didn’t want her to be anyone but her.
She felt a sense of relief and comfort that had evaded her for years. This was a man who loved her. This was a man who would give up everything he was used to, just for a chance with her. For him, she could do the same. What would blossom from that she was sure would be the most beautiful experience of her life.
“Dane, I didn’t come here looking for you, but you are the paradise that I’ve found.”
He smiled and brushed her hair back from her eyes. The sea air stirred it out of place again. He tucked it back behind her ear and gazed at her.
“That we’ve both found, Ella. You’ve reminded me that life is to be cherished, not just survived. I’m sorry that it took me so long to realize that. Thank you for being brave enough for the both of us.”
Ella grinned at him and before he could say another word, she kissed him. She didn’t hold back, didn’t resist, didn’t worry or attempt to control it. Her heart swelled with the reality of what had happened to her. She’d come on this vacation to find herself again and she’d ended up finding love again—the one thing that she’d thought she’d truly given up on.
Dane embraced her with the same sense of abandon—without tension, without hesitation, without predicting where anything would lead.
Their love could be like the water they sailed across. It could flow. It could rise and fall. It could be endless. It could be anything they both wanted it to be.
Forty and Free
(Book 3)
To Hope Again
A Sweet Romance
By
Lillianna Blake
& Maci Grant
Copyright © 2016 Lillianna Blake
Cover design by Beetiful Book Covers
All rights reserved.
Chapter 1
Jillian trailed her fingertip through the cool water in the fountain she sat beside. The soothing sound of the cascading water reminded her just how lucky she was to have created her own peaceful space.
When she’d first purchased the house, it had been a risk. She’d been just out of a relationship and reliant only on her own income. It had been a little overwhelming to her at the time to think of owning her home rather than renting, but it didn’t take long before she’d begun to savor the idea of having something that was just hers.
She’d filled her home with things that had meaning to her—memories of the best experiences in her life. Every little detail had a purpose—to remind her that her life was good, that there was always a reason to smile.
Her house had become her favorite place to be. Even a vacation to a tropical paradise wasn’t more enticing to her than her own home. In fact, no matter where she went on vacation, it wasn’t until she returned home that she felt complete relief and comfort again.
As content as she was, though, she’d also begun to feel a bit bored.
Everything was just fine. Her career as a life coach was doing very well. Her soul was nourished by regular relaxation and meditation. She had a wide network of friends that she often engaged in friendly debate and deep conversations. Yet, she found herself feeling a little unsettled.
Nothing was wrong, but something wasn’t quite right.
She stood up from the stone bench beside the fountain and stretched out her arms. As her muscles began to unwind and relax, she released a long breath. Above her, several black birds flew across the puffy white clouds. The moment was perfect and she took the time to savor it.
The loud rumble that suddenly filled her ears could have been thunder, but it was followed by an unmistakable beep of a horn. Her entire body jumped at the sound. She must have been more relaxed than she’d thought.
Curious, she walked around the side of her house to see a large moving truck backed up into the driveway. Her house, and the house beside it, shared one long driveway that led from the road and then branched out into two individual driveways. It left the houses far removed from the road. She knew that the house next door had been up for sale before she’d left for vacation, but she hadn’t realized that it must have sold while she’d been gone.
A rush of excitement drove her forward as she wondered who might be moving in. Two men, wearing uniforms that matched the name of the company on the truck, were busy unloading boxes.
She scanned the contents that were being moved out of the truck. Was it a couple? Did they have kids? Pets?
“I can be a little nosy.” She smiled to herself. Why not? They were going to be neighbors, after all. The sooner they got to know one another, the better.
She saw a couch, a recliner, and a bed being carried off the truck. There was nothing to indicate that there were children in the home. Then she noticed a bicycle, followed by a kayak. She smiled at the sight of that. She had a kayak too. But she noticed that there was only one of each. Was it possible that someone single had moved in? She couldn’t be sure, but she thought it was likely.
She immediately hoped it would be a woman, maybe someone she could bond with over tea in the morning and good music in the evenings. She noticed what might have been a guitar case being carried off of the truck.
A commanding voice drew her attention toward the door of the house. “Be careful with that! I told you not to put it inside the truck! It was supposed to go up front. It better not be damaged!”
She followed the deep, rough voice to see the man it belonged to. The first thought that struck her was just how beautiful he was. That wasn’t unusual for her. She saw beauty in mos
t people. But in his case, the mop of unruly brown waves on the top of his head, combined with the slight pout of his full lips, made her take a sharp breath.
He was clearly irritated, but she didn’t judge him for that. Moving was one of the most stressful things a person could do.
She was a bit disappointed that it appeared to be a man who’d moved in next door to her. She was sure that they’d still get along, even if at the moment, he seemed quite angry.
“Are you going to get the rest of the boxes?” He barked the question at two men in uniforms who were walking away from the truck.
“We’re taking a little break. We’ll get it done, don’t worry.” The taller of the movers flashed a smile at him and then walked over to his partner, who sat on the low stone wall that framed the driveway of the house.
“This is ridiculous. I’ll do it myself!” With long determined strides, the man stalked toward the truck.
Jillian was fascinated by the fluid motion of his body. She assumed he might be some kind of athlete, as he had the strength to haul the boxes off the truck without hesitation. She considered waving, but it didn’t feel like the right moment.
She watched as, one by one, he carried boxes off the truck and in through the front door. His muscles flexed under the taut red shirt he wore. He was someone who took care of himself, at least physically.
A moment later the movers started to help.
“Oh, you’re ready to pitch in? Great. Maybe you could try not to break anything?”
Jillian pursed her lips. She understood his frustration, but he seemed to be taking it a bit far. She despised anyone who bullied others, and she was really trying not to think the worst about her new handsome neighbor.
She watched as the man paused in front of the house and looked up at it. His posture displayed tension in every area of his body. His jaw locked and quivered.
As his emotions were on open display, she became aware of how deeply she may have invaded his privacy. He didn’t expect anyone to be watching him, yet she couldn’t seem to look away. Anger was something she tended to avoid, but in that moment—the way he wore it—she couldn’t bring herself to look away. It was like the collision of a mighty wind with a solid mountain—harsh, rough, and impenetrable. It was powerful, despite the potential darkness of its roots.
Forty and Free: A Sweet Romance Series Bundle - Books 1 - 4 Page 25
