Forty and Free: A Sweet Romance Series Bundle - Books 1 - 4

by Blake, Lillianna

“I know this may seems strange, Angela, but I have the feeling we were meant to meet today.”

  She avoided looking directly at him. “I suppose we were—or my day would be going much differently.”

  “Yes, there’s that. You might think I’m crazy—I don’t blame you if you do—but I feel something between us. I’d like to find out what that is.” He sought her eyes again. “If you’re feeling it too, I mean.”

  She caught his gaze, then looked away. “Don’t you think most people feel something after such a harrowing situation?”

  “Yes, I do. But I also think this is different.”

  She set her mug down, and he reached out to capture her hand. When his fingertips stroked along her palm her hand trembled in his grasp. “You do feel it too, don’t you?” He stared into her eyes and held his breath.

  Had he spoken up too soon? Would she think he was trying to take advantage of her? As his mind raced with concern, he felt her hand slip from his grasp.

  Chapter 5

  The sensation that curled through Angela’s body was more intense than she’d ever experienced before. It was as if the stroke of his fingertip on her palm went through every sense in her body. She could almost taste it. She closed her eyes and pulled her hand back from his grasp. To try to disguise the motion, she picked up her mug of tea.

  “I’m not sure if I believe in things being meant to be, Ryan. Don’t you think that’s a little old-fashioned?”

  “Oh.” He let his hand fall back to the table. “I’m sorry. I’m being too forward. I guess I am a little old-fashioned about a lot of things.”

  “No, don’t be sorry. I tend to be a little too blunt. It’s nothing personal.” She glanced over at him. “I don’t believe in that, in general. No offense to you. It’s just that, I’m at an age now where fairy tales are just that—fairy tales.”

  He nodded slowly. “I see what you’re saying. I’ve been waiting for my happy ending for a long time too. Sometimes I wonder if it will ever happen.”

  “Never married?” Angela met his eyes as curiosity brewed within her. She would guess a man like him would have been snatched up in no time.

  “Not once. Not even close.” He laughed and shook his head. “You’ll probably think I’m pretty foolish, but I’ve been waiting for that one right person to cross my path. I’ve dated here and there of course, but nothing too serious.”

  “One right woman?” Angela smiled a little. “That’s an interesting belief to hold on to.”

  “Interesting?” He quirked a brow and lowered his eyes. “It’s just how I feel. Why waste my time on a relationship that I know isn’t right?”

  “I can agree with that. I suppose that’s why I haven’t had too many second dates.”

  “You trust your instincts.” He grinned. “That’s a good thing.”

  “You could say that.” She considered his words. “It’s more like, I just know what I want and what I don’t want. To be honest, I don’t even know if I want a relationship at this point.”

  “No?” His eyes widened. “How could you know that?”

  “It seems like it might be more trouble than it’s worth. How will you know when you meet that one right woman?”

  He gazed into her eyes, the connection steady and deep.

  Her heart fluttered at the intensity that she saw in his eyes.

  “I’ll know.”

  She looked back down at her tea. “I wish I could feel so confident. At this point, I’ll be surprised if it ever happens.”

  “Why is that?”

  “I don’t know. I haven’t been in many relationships either. I think I’m just one of those people that isn’t meant to have one great love.” She finished the last swallow of her tea. “Whether it exists or not, it’s not in the cards for me.”

  “I don’t know if I could handle thinking that way. What would life be without love?”

  The question startled her. The man that sat across from her didn’t strike her as the intellectual type. Maybe that was because she knew his profession. As it was, she didn’t have a lot of respect for police officers. But this man, without his uniform, without his badge—he seemed to be looking at her as if she was the most fascinating woman he’d ever seen. He’d questioned the meaning of life and challenged her belief in love—all within the first hour of meeting her. She hadn’t been asked those types of questions by a man ever.

  “I don’t think I need a relationship to be fulfilled. Over the past few months, I’ve gone from a very dark place, to a sense of freedom that I haven’t experienced in years. I guess to me that’s the one great love—knowing that I’ll be just fine no matter where life takes me.”

  “I can respect that. But life can surprise you. What if it takes you headlong into romance?” He pushed his mug aside and studied her.

  She wondered if he noticed the ripple of fear that she felt course through her features.

  “I doubt it will.”

  “Or you’re afraid it will.” His eyes locked to hers.

  Angela couldn’t draw a breath. Had he seen through her so easily? Stop, Angela, he’s no mind reader. You just wear your heart on your sleeve. She forced herself to draw a breath.

  His lips tensed for a moment and he hung his head. “I’m sorry, that wasn’t fair of me.”

  She stared at him for a long moment. Normally, she’d avoid talking about such a heavy topic with someone she’d just met. Normally, she’d laugh off a serious conversation about love. But something about Ryan’s honesty made her want to be honest in return.

  “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I am.” She murmured her words. “I’m entitled to that fear.”

  When he looked back at her she noticed his gray eyes were a bit darker than before. “I’m sorry that you have to live with that. No one should.”

  She shook her head and laughed a little. “It’s not that serious, I promise.”

  He frowned. “It sounds pretty serious to me. Maybe I’m waiting for that one right woman—the one I’ve been waiting for all my life. Maybe I’m a fool and she’ll never show up, but I can tell you that if she does, I’ll be overjoyed to meet her—not afraid.”

  “Then I guess we have two different views on life and love, which is perfectly fine. Don’t you think? We’re all a little different.”

  “Yes.” He nodded and sat back in his chair. “You’re right about that.”

  “I should get going, I have a lot of errands I need to get done.” As she stood up from the table, he followed her with his eyes. “Thanks again, Ryan. I mean it.”

  “Dinner—just one dinner.” He stared into her eyes. “I promise, after that, I’ll never bother you again.”

  Her heart pounded against her chest. His lips drew her attention—the way they almost curved up into a smile. His eyes swallowed her whole, as they stared into the depths of her—places she never imagined anyone would want to explore. It was just so tempting—to be seen, to be the object of someone’s desire. Even as all the red flags went up in her mind, as all the reasons that she should decline paraded through her thoughts, she already knew what her answer would be.

  “Just one dinner.” She pulled out her cell phone. “To say thank you. That’s all.”

  “Thank you.” His lips curled all the way up into that gorgeous smile as he rattled off his number to her.

  She offered him hers as well.

  As she walked away from the table Mae winked at her.

  Chapter 6

  What was it about her? The sound of her voice? The way she avoided his eyes? The subtle pout that her lips settled into when she wasn’t smiling? His head spun when she’d looked at him. Could it really finally be happening after so many years of waiting? Ryan found it difficult to believe, but at the same time, he hoped that it could be true.

  It took all his will power to watch Angela walk away. Like a puppy, he wanted to follow her. A part of him was afraid that he’d never see her again. Had he scared her off with his talk of romance?

  His buddies
always ribbed him for having such an old-fashioned view of dating and love. While his fellow single officers flashed their badges to impress women, Ryan hung back and observed. He didn’t want a bunch of brief encounters. He wanted one inescapable love affair.

  Maybe it had been the adrenaline or the intensity of the moment they’d shared when he’d pinned down the mugger, but he couldn’t shake the notion that there was something about Angela that he’d never seen in a woman before.

  Still, she didn’t seem terribly interested.

  He left a tip on the table and waved to Mae on his way out the door. By the time he arrived back at the bank, Angela was already gone.

  He went to the ATM to take out the money he was there for in the first place and then drove back to his apartment. His thoughts were on Angela for the entire drive. It got to the point that he worried he might be developing a bit of an obsession.

  “Cool it, Ryan.” He looked at his own reflection in the rear view mirror.

  He parked in front of his apartment and headed inside. As he tossed his keys down in a small wicker basket on the shelf near the door, he was struck by a familiar sense of isolation. For many years now he’d been fine with his solitude. He enjoyed the quiet and the predictability of the same four walls.

  Lately, though, he found that quiet to be a bit unnerving. Perhaps it was time ticking by, or maybe it was the fact that most of his co-workers were on their second marriages while he hadn’t even been engaged. He thought back to the one woman he’d considered moving forward with.

  Belinda, willowy and perfect—with a heart of gold. She’d bent over backwards to love him. She moved across the country to give their relationship a shot. But in the end, she was just beautiful, just one of the best people on Earth, but not that one woman just for him.

  It had broken his heart to break hers, but he didn’t want to hold her back from finding her own future.

  “Maybe I was wrong.” He grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and sat down on the couch. “Maybe I missed my chance.”

  He thought about what Angela had said about there not being a one great love out there for her. Was that possible? It had never really occurred to him that it could be.

  Perhaps his mother was the one that had put the idea into his head. His father died when he was only six and she had never remarried. Instead, she told Ryan stories of her one great love, his father, and how those memories were all she needed to live a happy life. Was it possible that she’s lied to him? He knew it was, but he didn’t want it to be true.

  He picked up his phone and stared at it for a moment. Then he sent a text.

  I’m off duty tonight. Could we have that dinner? 8 o’clock at Humphrey’s?

  To avoid staring at his phone, he turned it off and set it on the table beside the couch.

  He could easily be misreading the situation with Angela. She didn’t seem to reciprocate his affection, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something there. He’d know more after they had dinner that night—if they had dinner.

  He flipped on the television and tried to lose himself in the drama of one of his favorite shows.

  About an hour later he checked his phone to find no response from Angela. He frowned and set it back down. Maybe she’d only agreed to dinner to be nice. Maybe he’d never hear from her again. The thought inspired a deep ache in his chest.

  “Get a hold of yourself, Ryan.” He shook his head and headed into the bathroom to take a shower. It was clear that he needed to cool off.

  As the water splashed over him, he focused on clearing his mind. If it was meant to be, it would be. Now it was all in her hands. He doubted that she’d be able to resist the kind of pull that he was feeling if she felt it too.

  Chapter 7

  Angela blew through her remaining errands as fast as she could. The event at the bank and then her encounter with Ryan had left her feeling unsettled and off-center. It was as if everything she’d worked so hard to create for herself—a sense of peace and stability—was now in a tailspin of emotion and uncertainty.

  By the time she returned to her apartment, a multitude of thoughts were crowding her mind.

  She put away her groceries and the other items she’d picked up at the store and then grabbed her computer. It was always a good distraction for her.

  She surfed a few of her favorite websites, forcing herself to ignore the way her mind wandered right back to the stroke of Ryan’s fingertips along the palm of her hand. The more she thought about it, the more confused she felt.

  She pulled out her phone to call a friend and noticed that she’d received a text from him.

  “Tonight?” She frowned. “That’s awfully fast.” She stared at the screen for some time.

  Before replying to the text, she decided to call her friend Sasha. Maybe she could help clear her mind.

  “Ready for flea markets this weekend?” Sasha squealed into the phone.

  “Yes, I am. But you will not believe what happened to me today.” Angela recounted the event from the moment the mugger touched her shoulder to the text that Ryan had just sent. When she took a breath, complete silence greeted her on the other end of the line. “Sasha, are you there?”

  “So this is what happens when you have a day off?”

  “I guess so.” Angela laughed. “I’m still a little shaken up by the mugger, but to be honest I’m more rattled by Ryan.”

  “Your knight in shining armor?” Sasha groaned. “Do you know what most women would give to be rescued by a hottie with a badge who also quite apparently has a crush on you?”

  “Okay, wait. He doesn’t have a crush, and you know how I feel about cops.”

  “Oh please, all because that one gave you a speeding ticket.”

  “I wasn’t speeding and that wasn’t the only reason.”

  “You forget I was in the car with you, and you were most definitely speeding.”

  “Yes, at one point I was, but not when he pulled me over. Anyway, that’s not the point. I get that they serve a purpose, but the type of man that decides to be a police officer is not the type of man that I’d ever want to be with.”

  “Why? Give me one good reason.”

  “Violence. I don’t agree with it.”

  “Well, whether or not you agree with it, violence found you at the bank today and a cop put a stop to it.”

  “I hear you. But I’m talking about guns, car chases, shoot first and ask questions later—that type of violence.”

  “You can’t believe everything you see on television. Besides, just because there are some not-so-great cops out there doesn’t mean that Ryan is one of them. He didn’t shoot the mugger, did he?”

  “No. But he was off duty.”

  “Angela, here’s the thing. As long as I’ve known you, you’ve found a fault in every man who has ever even looked in your direction.”

  “Like there have really been that many.”

  “Okay, fair enough, but that’s only because you’re always so shy. Now, here’s this amazing man who put his life on the line to protect you, and you’re already crossing him off the list of potential lovers because he wears a badge.”

  “It’s not as simple as that. It’s not like I dislike him because of his profession. It’s that I know me well enough to know that I couldn’t accept that aspect of him. Why would I even try to start something with him, if all it will lead to is an eventual break up? I like my life the way it is right now.”

  “And maybe you only have that life because of him.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, if he hadn’t stopped the mugging, that guy might have hurt you. He might have even killed you, Angela.”

  “He just wanted the money.”

  “So he said. But you don’t know that for sure. In that instant, everything could have ended for you.”

  “I hadn’t really thought about it that way.” Angela stared at the computer screen in front of her without seeing any of the images on it. As Sasha’s wor
ds sank in, her heartbeat quickened. Was she right?

  “So, what if it had? What if right now, you were looking back on your life and it was all over? What would you wish you’d done?”

  Angela sighed. “You’re right. I might wish that I’d had a meaningful relationship.”

  “Then why are you putting off this chance? What could it hurt to go to dinner? You’ll have a nice conversation, and then you’ll know whether you want things to continue or you can end it right there.”

  “I guess you’re right. You wouldn’t want to come with me, would you?”

  “Absolutely not. You’ve got to do this on your own. You’ve come a long way this past year, but there’s more to life than just finding a balance, there’s discovering your passion and stepping out of your comfort zone.”

  “But I really, really, like my comfort zone.”

  “Only because it’s all you know. There could be so much more waiting for you. Take a chance, Angela. It’s going to be worth it.”

  “You’d better be right.”

  “I always am.” Sasha laughed and hung up the phone.

  Angela debated how to answer the text. After a few attempts she finally hit send.

  I’ll be there. Thanks.

  It was lame, but it was the best she could do.

  Chapter 8

  Ryan turned off the television and grabbed his gear from the closet. He’d learned over his years as a police officer that the best way to deal with frustration was to hit the gym. Sometimes it was aggression left over from a bad day on the job, sometimes it was frustration over things not going the way he wanted in a football game. Today, it was a needed release from all the emotions that swirled within him.

  He’d waited this long to find her; if Angela was the one, then how could she just ignore him? It brewed a sense of discontent that drove him right to the gym and toward the boxing ring.

  He used the weights now and then, and liked to run for cardio, but the real reason he went to the gym was to hone his mixed martial arts skills.

  As a rule, he didn’t like to discharge his weapon. He’d gotten flak from superiors over it, but he believed a bullet was something he couldn’t take back. If he could take a criminal down with a punch or a tackle, he much preferred that route. Of course, that wasn’t always an option.