Love's Sacrifice

by Georgia Le Carre

  When I raise my head and look at her she is staring at me, speechless with disbelief and horror. Suddenly she seems to find her strength, and raising herself on her elbows, she stamps her feet on the carpet and pushes hard and away from me. I grab her foot and she kicks out with the other. I grab that one too and pull her toward me. She slides helplessly along the carpet, like a rag doll toward me. Her hands flail.

  ‘Don’t,’ I growl. ‘I smelt a man on you.’

  She stops fighting. When her face is very close to mine she closes her eyes. ‘I kissed Jack.’

  That cuts me. I take a sharp breath. ‘Why?’

  She opens her eyes and stares at me. ‘Because he is leaving for a war-torn country. Because I may never see him again. Because he asked me and he has never asked me for anything before,’ she sobs. Tears flow freely. I have never been able to resist her tears.

  I scoop her up in my arms ‘Shh… I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you,’ I croon.

  But I cannot make her stop. The tears run quickly down her temples.

  ‘Please don’t cry. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just can’t bear thinking of you with anyone else. I don’t even want you in the same room with other men,’ I confess.

  ‘What is happening to us, Blake?’ she whispers. She sounds scared. I have frightened her with my aggression.

  ‘Nothing is happening to us. I just lost my head for a moment. I didn’t think. It was pure instinct.’

  ‘What’s going to happen when the forty-two days are up, Blake?’

  Not that again. I can’t tell her anything. Even what I have just done is incriminating. He will know when he sees the tapes that she is special. He will see me lose control. I will simply have to be more careful from now on.

  ‘I don’t know,’ I tell her, ‘but will you trust me that everything I do is in your best interests?’

  ‘And what is in my best interests, Blake?’

  I can see that it is tearing her up inside. My heart feels heavy. How I wish I could tell her? But I can’t. Too risky. Strange, how much I want to tell her. I’ve never wanted to make another human being happy before. ‘In thirty-one days you will know.’

  Gently, I start kissing her eyelids, her cheeks that still smell of him and her mouth. I kiss her hard, force her lips open and thrust my tongue into her mouth, making her suck my tongue. Possessively, staking claim on what is mine, erasing the mark, even the memory of his mouth. My hands unbutton her blouse, cup her breasts. She lets me lift her so I can undo her bra clasp. I pull the blouse out of her skirt. It slips easily from her shoulders. The skirt follows.

  I claim her on the floor beside the front door.

  To anyone watching or listening let it be known: this is my woman.

  Hey you awesome  people,

  Sadly, we have reached the end of the Lana and Blake story. When I began this journey back in the autumn of 2013, I had no idea where it might lead, not even if I would still be writing books one year on.

  It was always my hope that my readers would find the characters of Lana and Blake endearing, but never did I imagine they would have such a strong connection with you. I am truly humbled by your loyalty to this series and for all your reviews, emails, and words of encouragement thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are like my dear friends now and for you I am writing something new.

  Below are my forthcoming releases. Until the back of the next book I wish your life to be filled with great stories and unforgettable characters.

  Big, big kiss to all...

  Georgia

  One

  Billie Black

  ‘Fucking kids,’ I swear and bury my head under the pillow, but the irritating ringing of the doorbell continues mercilessly. The desire to go out and throttle them is so strong it makes me grit my teeth.

  I pull myself out from under my pillow abruptly with a frown. Hang on a minute. I no longer live in the poor end of Kilburn, and there are no kids roaming the corridors annoying people on Sundays here. Also, I have no debts left so it can’t be debt collectors either. Not that those lazy fuckers will work on Sundays.

  I get out of bed and, walking barefoot to the front door, curiously put my eye to the spy hole.

  Whoa!

  I draw back hastily, and press my hand to my shocked belly. This is far worse than any debt collector. By far worse. The bell rings again and holds. The sound is loud and insistent. It’s not going to go away. I turn my head and look at myself in the mirror on the wall. My hair is a spiky rat’s nest. I pull my fingers viciously through the unruly mess, but it does not improve. The bell goes again. Oh, fuck it! Whatever. I don’t care, anyway. I take a deep breath, rearrange my face into one of impatient exasperation and fling open the door.

  Cor… Look at that. Tight black T-shirt packed hard with muscles, he fills the corridor like the Incredible Hulk, only he is all blond, and he makes little kitty clench tight even on a Sunday. Damn this man to hell. How can anyone look this good at this time of the morning?

  He removes his finger coolly off my doorbell and smiles a devastatingly attractive smile, before letting his gaze, all wicked and sexy, start roving down my body. It’s like having melted chocolate poured all over me. I want to lick myself. Keep it together now.

  ‘What do you want?’ I demand aggressively.

  ‘To fuck you senseless.’

  I don’t succeed in stifling the gasp that rises into my mouth. The cheek of the man is astounding. Last night he brazenly introduces me to his girlfriend, and this morning he stands on my doorstep wanting a legover! I feel a fine rage in my veins.

  ‘Fuck off, you cheating skunk,’ would, as Ali down the sweet shop would say, be giving him too much face. ‘Piss off, I don’t want you to fuck me senseless,’ would be a lie. So: I nod, and move quickly to slam the door in his lazily smiling face. With lightning speed he lays his palm firmly against the wood and resolutely pushes his way in. I am engulfed by the smell of his freshly showered body. Probably washing off her smell, I think sourly. I don’t do the undignified thing and attempt to fight against such a male show of strength. I will decimate him with pithy wit instead.

  Inside, he looks as out of place as a rhino in a China shop.

  ‘The polite thing to do would be to offer me some tea,’ he says, one blond eyebrow arching.

  I cross my arms over my chest. ‘I’m actually not feeling very polite at the moment.’

  He flashes a pearly white grin: wolfish in the extreme. The guy is a walking sex bomb. ‘That’s just grand,’ he says. ‘We can be impolite together.’

  Pithy wit deserts me. ‘Don’t make me punch you in the face.’

  ‘You were the best lay I ever had.’

  My eyes widen. The surge of pleasure I experience irritates me. I pretend to laugh dryly. ‘Is that supposed to be some sort of compliment?’

  ‘Yeah, and a goddamn fine one too.’

  Before we go any further, let me first tell you that this man is good in bed. And I mean he’s really, really good. Like out of this world good. He butterflyed my legs and went to work on my girly bits with the precise dedication of a Swiss watchmaker until I nearly fainted with pleasure. And believe me, I’m the expert in muff diving, since I have been for most of my life a lesbian.

  ‘Well, you were the worst lay I ever had,’ I lie.

  Unoffended, he laughs merrily. ‘Time to make amends, then.’

  ‘Don’t you fucking dare come near me,’ I warn. I realize instantly that there is not enough threat and too much desperation in my voice.

  His eyes glint, dark and dirty. They make me horribly uneasy. I’m not in charge here. We stare at each other and the rush of sexual heat that sweeps over my body makes me feel oddly dizzy. The memory of his touch still burns in my bones. Unable to speak I stare foolishly at him. The truth is I’m pissed off with this guy for not calling after he promised to, for making me sleep with my phone for nearly a month, for confusing the hell out of my sexuality, and for having a girlfr
iend who is the exact opposite of me, but as the seconds pass, I am not sure anymore if I am more pissed off with him or with myself for being so pathetic.

  The problem is that my pulse is racing and I can’t think past the aching throb between my legs. I take slow breaths as my body, the hyperaware Judas, remembers and replays the sensation of all the hard planes, the raw silk of his skin, and the absolute perfection of that one night we shared.

  I blink. Big mistake.

  He advances, his lips twitching with amusement.

  I step backwards, purely instinctive, and he takes another step, and so do I, but in the opposite direction. A warm flush spreads over my skin. All kinds of thoughts are running through my brain. Uppermost: of course he’s going to get what he came for. I can already feel his hand on my hips, and the lure of a seriously explosive orgasm. He got me the last time through the same fearlessness of consequences he is exhibiting now. No fear of rejection. Such naked confidence can be mind-numbingly seductive.

  He turned my no into a maybe and my maybe into a yes.

  And afterwards, when the curiosity and desire had been aroused inside me, he delivered big. I mean BIG. I told myself that I had gone with him because I loved that he did not have a prejudged idea of beauty. He found my spider tattoos beautiful! But the truth was/is, he intrigues me like no other. My body is already craving it. It’s only sex, Billie, I tell myself.

  I stop retreating when I feel the hard edge of the table against my buttocks. He takes his next step silently. With his hands around my neck he tilts my face upwards and swoops down on my mouth. Sweet mother, Mary. So bad, and so hot. My will is slipping away. What will? It’s been a long time. A long time. Bloody hell. He tastes so fuckin’ good I want to eat him. I get lost in the raving desire that comes in waves from his mouth into mine.

  For a few more pulse-ripping seconds his lips bruise mine, a clash of teeth and lips and tongues. It is brutal, arousing, and totally feral. And then I tear my mouth off. The insides of my mouth are still stinging. He is strong, I’ll give him that. Very fucking strong. And that arrogant tilt to his chin. Like he should be in a vampire movie. Like he’s never heard the word no.

  ‘So you don’t think I’m cute?’

  ‘If you like psychos.’

  He grins and lifts me up by the waist as if I am a doll and deposits me on the table. My legs dangle off the edge. With both his hands he rips open my nightshirt. The tearing sound is deliciously erotic. Nobody has done this to me before. Underneath I am butt naked. His eyes drop to my breasts. With a slow smile he cups them in his hands.

  ‘I wasn’t wrong last night: you’ve had them done,’ he growls and pushes his tongue into my mouth. The man’s an animal and I love it.

  His tongue drives in as I suck it enthusiastically. So different from a woman’s tongue. So demanding. So muscular. Suddenly his mouth leaves mine, and a complaining mewl escapes me. Watching me like a hawk he bends down to take a nipple in his mouth and sucks at it cruelly. I close my eyes and moan. His hands move lower. He spreads his fingers into the thatch of light brown curls.

  ‘A hairy girl is hard to come by these days,’ he murmurs. ‘You’re one in a million, Billie.’

  ‘Fuck you.’

  He runs his fingers along the slit. I am embarrassingly soaking wet for him. One finger dips inside.

  ‘Yes,’ I gasp. Even that one word sounds incoherent. I want more.

  He plunders my mouth. Slowly the finger inside me becomes two and then three. The stretch is delicious, but I want more. I need more. And holy fucking shit, I know where there is smoking more. I reach for his belt.

  ‘You’re throbbing for release,’ he whispers huskily as he pulls away from me and splays my legs open. He watches me, his heavy-lidded eyes roaming my thrown back throat, my excited nipples, my legs spread so wide he has a full view of my pussy dripping and swollen for him.

  He tears open the condom foil and then unbuttons the top button of his bulging jeans. The zip comes down and he takes out his cock. This is the thing about us lesbians. We’re used to big toys, but this boy’s toy—it struts right out at a right angle to his body. In its own way it is an aggressive angry thing with large veins. I’m not really sure if I consider it attractive. Certainly it is not pretty the way a pussy is, but there is something wild about it. Something animalistic and caveman-like.

  I watch while he sheathes it and obligingly open my legs wider when he plunges the raincoated thing straight into me. That scream. It came from my mouth! His large strong hands are underneath my bum tilting me upwards. Whoa…this is an attack! I wrap my legs around him and he fucks me like a wild man, furious.

  We are a violent, hot tangle. I writhe and claw at him, but he rams into me until I come, quick and hard. The world shatters beautifully and becomes more perfect than before. Almost immediately he does too with a growl and expletives. Fucking like this exposes the darkest part of the soul. I bet his girlfriend doesn’t see this.

  I grasp the firm globes of his buttocks. We are both panting hard. We have sinned. Now that I am sated I am back to my rather inelegant situation.

  ‘And you thought you were a lesbian,’ he says with such a smug smile that I slap him, so hard his head jerks back.

  ‘That’s the first time…’ he mutters.

  I raise a disbelieving eyebrow.

  ‘I’ve been slapped by a woman while I’m still inside her.’

  I use both my hands to push him away from me, but I might as well have been pushing at a brick wall. The hands cupping my buttocks are like steel manacles.

  ‘You’ve had your fun. Now get out of my home,’ I force between clenched teeth.

  'I’m still horny.’

  I tingle at the promise his words hold. I glare at him. ‘We all have our afflictions and addictions.’

  Suddenly I have the fierce and surprising urge to mark him. To let her know that he has been with me. I want to claim him and then I forget about it when he sucks my tongue into his mouth. Too urgent to be gentle. Then his mouth moves, warm and wet against the side of my neck. I know what he’s doing. He’s sucking on my tattoos, on the blue spiders. He takes his mouth away and looks at them.

  ‘How did you find me?’ I ask.

  ‘Not easily,’ he confesses. ‘I had to shell out a thousand quid. Must be nice not paying your own bills.’

  I ignore the jibe. I’m not about to explain anything to him. ‘What happened to last night’s posh and world-weary murmur?’

  He grins.

  ‘When I first met you, you had a BBC accent. Last night it was decidedly posh and today a trace of Australian has slithered in. Will the real Jaron Rose please stand up?’

  ‘This is the real Jaron Rose.’

  ‘Are you going to fucking get your dick out of me?’

  ‘I will but first let me tell you what you’re going to be doing tomorrow. At three thirty p.m. sharp you will bend over this table, your elbows and hands and cheek pressed against the glass, your ass in the air barely covered by lace and transparent material. You will be wearing thongs. The rims will become soaked very quickly and you will consider using your sweating hands to masturbate to relieve the ache, but you will not. You will keep that position, nipples and cunt tingling, and wait. The high heels you’ll be wearing will make your calves cramp, but you will ignore it.’

  My mouth drops open.

  He ignores it. ‘At four I will turn up. You will not turn around to look at me or speak to me. No matter how wide your legs are I will have to correct the position by kicking apart your legs and flipping the last bit of covering over your back, so your ass is totally exposed to me. I will roughly rub your panties, find the jellied part, and dig my fingers into it. You will immediately raise your hips higher to try to catch more of my flesh, and moan the way you would if you were begging for it.

  ‘I’ll tell you to be quiet. That you are not to make a sound until I allow it. I will flick your clit through the material and your body will start bucking and squirming. A
t that moment I will swat your butt on the fleshiest part of your buttocks just once, but hard. My fingers might strike your clit. It will make your head spin and you are bound to cry out from the surprise of my assault. So I will spank you again. Just to hear you cry out and see the blush spread. And again, until you are panting and dripping onto my hand. Excitement, shame, joy.

  ‘Then I will back off, make myself a cup of tea and drink it while I stare at your reddened ass ripe for the picking. Once I have had my tea I will undress. Slowly. You will strain to hear buttons, material scraping my skin, shoes sliding away, socks pulling, zip tearing. I will grasp the reddened, burning skin in my palms and feel its weight in my bare hands.’

  I try not to show it but his dick is slowly growing inside me and I am starting to want him to fuck me all over again.

  ‘Then I will pull the warm red cheeks apart and holding them apart with one hand I will slide my finger into you, first one, then two and eventually three. You will moan, and shiver and maybe even grunt like an animal. Your head will start to lift off the table—you are about to come. That is the moment I’ll stop and will ask you to touch yourself. You will take your hand off the table and press it between your legs, turning your head to look at me while starting to masturbate.

  ‘“Do you want my cock in your pussy?” I will ask. “Yes,” you will whisper. I will ask you again. “Yes, yes,” you will plead.

  ‘And that is when I will ram so hard into you, you will shudder and scream and arch and quiver and come in a screaming rush.’

  ‘I won’t be in at three thirty p.m. or four p.m. tomorrow,’ I tell him proudly.

  ‘Don’t be absurd. Of course you will.’

  ‘If I am bent over the table, who will let you in through the front door?’

  ‘That’s my affair. You just assume your position.’

  He pulls out of me. And fully erect he takes a step away from me. I close my legs and slip off the table. Expertly, he removes the condom. I watch him pull his underpants up and over the rigid flesh.