Free Spirit

by Andi Bremner

  It tasted worse than it looked. It was tough and dry and cold. Maintaining his demeanor, though, he told her how great it was, loved watching how her eyes sparkled and widened at his words, and then he ate some. God, if she looked at him like every time he told her she could cook, he’d eat this crap every night for the rest of his life.

  Juliette watched him, seeming to buy his fake enthusiasm, before she started on her own plate. Taking a bite of the meat, coupled with some mashed potatoes, she popped it into her mouth. Then with a shriek, she spat it back out.

  “Ugh!” she cried in horror. “It’s disgusting!”

  She looked over at Noah to see his mouth twitching, his eyes dancing with amusement. “Why are you eating it?’ she demanded. “It tastes like—like cardboard!”

  Noah tried to keep his mouth straight but he couldn’t help it, and he started laughing, loudly and heartily. Juliette and the outraged, shocked look on her face were too much.

  “What’s so funny?” she asked. “You’ve eaten nearly all of yours.” She reached over and cut a piece from his plate, her knife sawing through the toughened meat. Popping it into her mouth she chewed and chewed, making a face as it slid awkwardly down her throat. “It’s disgusting.”

  “I know,” Noah spluttered through laughter, wiping at the tears in his eyes. “It’s awful. I’d rather eat sawdust.”

  Juliette glared at him for a long moment before she began to smile and then soon joined him in laughing.

  “Oh, Juliette,” he told her, grabbing her hand and squeezing tight. “God, I—”

  He stopped, having realized what he was about to say. Which had felt normal and natural and right. He was about to tell her he loved her, because right there, in that moment he felt as if he did love her, even if he knew that it was completely impossible. And the way her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open told him she knew exactly what he had been about to say and was watching him, waiting, expectant.

  “I think you’re awesome,” he said eventually, his words sounding odd and forced as the tension grew between them. “I don’t care that you can’t cook for shit.”

  Juliette made a face, looking down at the ruined food. “I wanted to do something nice for you, you know, after all you’ve done for me. Teaching me to swim and all.”

  “I teach you to swim because I enjoy it,” he told her, “because I like spending time with you and because I like teaching you. You don’t have to cook for me. In fact,” and his eyes twinkled as he continued, “please promise me that you won’t ever, ever cook for me again.”

  “Oh ha-ha,” she said, getting to her feet and taking the plates away, emptying the food straight into the trash. Loops watched on, perhaps hoping for some leftovers.

  “Honestly, Juliette,” he said. “You don’t need to do anything.”

  Turning around she eyed him speculatively, and he could see her mind working.

  “What?” he demanded, suddenly wary of her change in mood.

  “I have an idea,” she moved towards him, swaying her hips from side to side, “of something I can do for you.”

  He swallowed over the sudden dryness in his throat as his eyes slowly travelled from her eyes to her mouth to her breasts to her hips and then up again. “What’s that?”

  Stopping before him, she squeezed between his thighs, her hands resting lightly on his shoulders. Noah’s hands slid up the back of her legs to cup her butt as she bent at the hips and pressed her mouth to his, her tongue sliding in to tease his and draw out a long, delicious groan from the back of his throat.

  Then, she fell to her knees, her hands going to the buttons on his jeans.

  “Juliette…”

  He watched, his breath caught, as she tugged his jeans and underwear down, freeing him to her hands, already hard and ready. She licked her lips, her eyes dipping to his cock as she stroked the length of him. He groaned again, tilting his head back and surging his hips forward, and when she lowered her head, her mouth sliding over him and drawing him down her throat he thought he’d come right there and then.

  Slowly she worked him, her hands cupping his balls, stroking his shaft as she sucked him deep into her mouth, her tongue licking and teasing him, swirling around the tip until he was thrusting up into her mouth, his hands knotted in her hair. He looked down at her to find her watching him, her pupils dilated as she met his steady gaze.

  “Juliette,” he muttered tugging on her head, “you have to stop. I’m going to come.”

  She nodded, as if that was what she wanted and continued her ministrations, sucking him even harder and deeper as she urged him on, the look in her eyes wild and wonton. Her tongue flicked over the tip again, and he lost himself, pumping into her mouth as he spurted his seed down her throat. He heard her swallow, and something surged inside him, something primal that made his chest swell and made him want to grab her and hold her and never let her go.

  He closed his eyes and pushed the feelings away. There’s no room in my heart, he told himself, no room for Juliette. And with that he quietly turned the lock and shut his heart to her.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Juliette

  Juliette’s mail arrived the following day from Harry. It sat in a neat pile on the hall stand waiting for her when she came home from work. Picking it up she flicked through it, noting that it didn’t seem to be anything other than bank statements, a few bills, her last pay receipt. And a letter from St. Jude’s.

  Her heart clenched tightly in her chest as she stared at the letter.

  “Hi, honey,” Renee called from the kitchen, making her jump. “Fancy a cup of coffee?”

  Juliette blinked, tucking the letter to the back of the pile as she wandered into the kitchen. Renee sat at the table, her hands already wrapped around a steaming cup, another poured for Juliette and a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies splayed out before her.

  She’d obviously been waiting for Juliette.

  “I should shower first…” Juliette said, wiping her hands over her jeans and t-shirt. The overalls she donned at work protected her clothes and she always scrubbed her hands with the strong soaps in the shop at the end of the day, but she liked to use her own shampoos and body washes to get rid of the stench of sweat and grease. A workshop didn’t smell particularly feminine.

  “That can wait,” Renee said. “Sit.”

  Juliette hesitated just a moment before she sank into the seat Renee gestured wondering what this was all about. Placing her mail on the table next to her she wondered if it had anything to do with the letter she had received, if Renee recognized St. Jude’s.

  She didn’t have to wait long.

  “You have cancer,” Renee said, making Juliette blink at her in surprise. Renee obviously wasn’t going to beat around the bush. “I recognize the scar on your collarbone. My mother had the same scar, from the port they inserted for chemotherapy although her scar wasn’t as bad as yours and faded to nothing over time, which makes me think your scar is recent.”

  Juliette felt the blood rush from her face as she struggled to find the right words to explain. “I have bad skin. It’s a keloid scar, and it’s old.”

  It didn’t really address what Renee was saying to her, and she knew it. But it was what Juliette had done her whole life. Answered questions, told the truth, without sharing or telling too much. Most people realized when she didn’t want to talk about something and left it at that, although she had a feeling Renee wasn’t most people and wasn’t going to let her get away with being evasive. It was the mother in Renee that would make her ask questions, and Juliette couldn’t help but feel touched that Renee even cared enough to ask. After all, her own mother had never really cared much.

  Juliette sighed. “I don’t have cancer. I had cancer.”

  Renee nodded, and Juliette noted the relief in her eyes. “When?”

  “When I was twelve,” she replied. “Leukemia. I had treatment for a few years, which is why I have the port scar.”

  “And the letter?” R
enee prompted. “From St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital.”

  So, she has looked through my mail, Juliette thought, although she didn’t feel annoyed or angry. The mail had arrived, and it was hard to miss the distinctive logo of a child praying in the corner.

  “They send me reminder letters,” she explained, her voice quiet, “to go for check-ups.”

  “And you’ve been cancer free,” Renee urged, “for how long?”

  “Seven years,” Juliette replied. “I’m in full remission now, and they don’t expect the cancer to return. Ever.”

  Renee nodded. “Does Noah know?”

  “No,” Juliette told her keeping her voice as light as possible. “It’s not something I really share with people. Voluntarily.” She couldn’t help the accusation in her voice, although she didn’t really blame Renee for confronting her, for making her answer questions she didn’t want to answer.

  “I had to ask,” Renee explained. “He’s my son. And I saw what he went through before, when he lost Charlotte. I couldn’t stand by and let the same thing happen again. It would destroy him completely. He’s been hanging on by a thread all these years as it is and the idea that he’d finally find some happiness…with you…only to have it….” Her voice trailed off as tears choked her.

  Juliette nodded and reached across the table to squeeze Renee’s hand. “I understand. And I would never wish any pain on Noah. Ever. You must know that. I care a lot about him.”

  Renee stared at her. “You care about him?”

  “Of course.”

  Renee stared at Juliette, as if searching her face for something. When she spoke, she seemed to choose her words carefully, stating them slowly and carefully. “I’ve never seen Noah so happy, so in love.”

  At this Juliette snapped her eyes back to Renee. “I think you’re overstating what’s going on between Noah and me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean this isn’t serious. Noah isn’t serious about me, and I’m not serious about him. We like each other, enjoy each other’s company.”

  “Juliette…”

  “I haven’t told Noah I was sick,” she said suddenly. “There’s no reason for him to know, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t mention it.”

  “I won’t lie to my son,” Renee replied her voice tight.

  Juliette set her chin and lifted her head a notch. “I’m not asking you to lie. If Noah asks you if I have ever had cancer then of course you should tell him the truth. I’m just asking you not to volunteer the information.”

  Renee stared at her.

  “Please.” Then she appealed to Renee’s strong mothering instinct. “It would worry him when there’s absolutely no reason for him to worry.”

  After a moment, Renee nodded, assuring Juliette that she wouldn’t tell Noah about her cancer history. “But, Juliette,” she said after a moment, “when you went through this. Who was with you? I know you weren’t with your mother.”

  Juliette shrugged. “I was in care. And the doctors were great.”

  It was another non-answer and Juliette knew it, but she was suddenly tired and she had to get ready for her double date with Ava and Mike. Plus, she knew, right then and there, that she had to start looking for a place of her own.

  She had to put some distance between herself and the whole Daniels family.

  ****

  “Juliette.” Ava giggled as the four of them took their seats at dinner later that evening. “You have grease in your hair.”

  Juliette picked up the end of her ponytail and sighed when she saw the dark black streaks marring her otherwise blonde locks. “Mmmmmn. I think I’m going to have to take you up on your offer to cut my hair, Ava.”

  “Well come on in anytime,” Ava said. “I’d love to do your hair. Please don’t get me wrong, you have great hair, I just love getting creative, and I promise I won’t cut too much off—I won’t make you bald!”

  Juliette stared at her a long moment before she blinked and then smiled, picking up her water to take a sip. “I don’t mind at all really. I trust you.”

  Noah nuzzled his face in close to Juliette, inhaling deeply her signature scent of sunshine and strawberries mingled with the tiniest hint of grease that he seemed to find so sexy. “Please don’t cut your hair.”

  Juliette shrugged. “I’m going to have to if it keeps getting grease on it. Besides, I’d hate to get it caught in an engine or something.”

  Noah’s eyes widened. “Well if you put it like that … maybe you should cut it short. You’d look gorgeous even if you were bald and then I’d at least know you were safe.”

  Juliette offered him a tight smile and sipped more water.

  “Are you feeling better now?” Mike asked. “Ava said you fainted.”

  “You did?” Noah didn’t bother to hide his surprise or concern.

  Juliette shook her head, avoiding meeting Noah’s eyes. She had all but forgotten about fainting in the store yesterday and hadn’t mentioned it to Noah because it was no big deal. “It was nothing,” she murmured and then to Mike, “I’m fine. Just a bit lightheaded.”

  “When was this?” Noah asked.

  “In the supermarket, yesterday,” she explained. “I just had a moment.” She touched the tender spot on her head where a lump had formed.

  “A moment? I’d say more than a moment. She blacked out,” she informed Noah, “went down like a piece of lead on the floor and was out cold for a few minutes. We were just about to call an ambulance when she came to.”

  Noah narrowed his eyes, his brows knitted together as he examined every inch of Juliette’s face. “Are you okay? Did you go to the doctor?”

  “Honestly it was nothing.” Juliette waved her hand dismissively. “I have low blood pressure, and these things happen.”

  Noah was just about to ask another question when Juliette turned to Mike. “Mike, I hear you run a Jet Ski business down on the water.”

  Mike grinned. “I sure do. You like Jet Skiing?”

  “I’ve never actually tried it,” Juliette replied. “I’m only just learning to swim. Do I need to be able to swim to Jet Ski?”

  “You do if you fall off,” he laughed.

  Her face fell. “Don’t you wear a life vest?”

  “Yeah, that will help,” Mike told her, “but maybe you should improve your swimming skills a bit…”

  “I could take you out,” Noah said suddenly. “You could ride with me.”

  Juliette smiled, her eyes lighting at the prospect. “Really? I’d love that!”

  Mike turned his attention to Noah, the surprise evident on his face. “Serious? You back in?”

  “Yeah, I’ve been out a few times,” Noah replied somewhat nonchalantly. “Glad to get back in it.”

  “Well if you want,” Mike said, “Noah can bring down you tomorrow? I think Kelly and Gavin are coming down as well, so we can make a day of it.”

  “Sounds like fun!” Juliette said just as the waitress came to take their order.

  The rest of the evening passed in pleasant conversation, and afterwards they headed down to the Oak. There was a band playing, and Juliette and Ava managed to pull Mike and Noah onto the dance floor. Juliette pressed herself up against Noah, looping her arms around his shoulders as she danced. He moved with her, his body melting into hers, and when she slid a leg between his thighs he drew in a shaky breath, leaning forward to plant his mouth firmly on hers, pulling her in for a long, drawn out kiss, his tongue swiping her bottom lip.

  She shivered.

  “I want to take you somewhere,” he murmured, “now.”

  Her eyes widened, and she felt her heart turn over as her mind conjured a million and one naughty but delicious scenarios. Scenarios that involved a naked Noah, his broad, tanned chest, the hard stomach, narrow hips, fully erect…

  “Where?” She glanced around the crowded dance-floor.

  He grinned, and looped his hand into hers and dragged her through the throbbing audience and towar
ds the back of the bar. Then, pushing open a door that declared NO EXIT he led her outside. The cool air brushed over her heated cheeks and sent a shiver down her spine. Juliette had just a few moments to determine where they were—in a secluded back alley—when Noah pushed her up against the back wall of the bar and slammed his mouth down on hers.

  All the air rushed from Juliette’s lungs, and she clung to him, her arms winding around his shoulders, tracing the flexed muscles and the pure strength she could feel beneath his shirt. Breaking contact with her mouth he rained kisses down her throat as his hand slid up her dress, reaching to the apex of her thighs and running a finger along her seam through her panties.

  Juliette moaned and was suddenly hungry to have him in her, filling her, stretching her and making her his. It didn’t matter that they were in an alley. It didn’t matter that anyone could stumble on them at any moment, although it did seem quite secluded. She just wanted Noah. And she wanted him now.

  Her hands went to his belt, but she fumbled, losing her train of thought as he tugged her panties to one side and ran his fingers over her. “Wet,” he murmured against her throat, his approval evident. “Perfect.”

  Juliette sighed at his words and his touch and leaned back against the wall, letting the delicious sensations he aroused wash over her. Her legs began to tremble, and she clutched at his arms, needing his strength to hold herself up as she began to fall apart. Suddenly she found herself hoisted, her back pressed against the wall as Noah tore her panties, rending the thin lace in two before stuffing them into his jean pockets. Crying out in surprise, Juliette barely had time to react before he slammed into her, sending shockwaves of pleasure from her core throughout every fiber of her body.

  “Juliette,” he muttered as he claimed her mouth again. “Juliette, you feel so fucking wonderful.”

  She cried out again, hardly trusting herself to speak as she clung to him, burying her face in his shoulder as he slammed into her again and again. He wasn’t holding back. His need was primal and deep and hungry, and he was taking what he wanted.