A Boy Worth Choosing (The Worthy Series Book 2)

by S. M. Smith

  “Can I trust that you are not going anywhere tonight?” she asks.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Good. Then I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow.” And without looking back, she’s gone.

  ***

  By some miraculous work of my new accountabilibuddy, I am scheduled for two appointments the following Saturday at two different bridal boutiques. I had really wanted to talk to Janine in person to hopefully hammer out some of her hesitation about me and Stephen, but I just couldn’t find the time to make a trip home throughout the week. She was gracious when I called to ask her to join us, but so much so that I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect when she got into town this morning.

  I’m distracted by my nerves as I make my way to the first boutique, arriving almost twenty minutes earlier than I need to. I get checked in and take a seat outside the dressing room they assign me. I opt to wait for the rest of my group by flipping through a catalog, but don’t really see the pictures as I pray that Janine arrives before the other girls get here so that we have the opportunity to talk.

  The sweet blonde stylist that said she would be back when the rest of my group arrived, ushers in my future mother-in-law, closely followed, to my surprise by my fiancé.

  “Hey there, gorgeous,” he greets me as he steps around his mother and kisses my cheek. I take a step back and smile, speechless.

  “Good morning, Jessie.” Janine hugs me warmly as Stephen steps back and takes in all the mirrors, lace and bling.

  “Hi. Thank you for coming.” I’m too shocked that Stephen is here that I forget that I wanted to speak to Janine on my own.

  The three of us make small talk before Shaina and Daphne finally arrive. Poor Shaina is so swollen, she’s waddling. I jump up out of my seat and immediately force her to sit. Daphne eyeballs Stephen before greeting Janine and introducing Shaina.

  “Are we all here?” the stylist pokes her head around the corner to ask.

  “Yes,” Daphne barks, before turning to Stephen. “You. Out. I’ve already told you, you can see what she picks when she walks down the aisle.” She starts to shoo him out of the store, but he stops to kiss his mother goodbye.

  “Do you mind driving Mom to your second appointment and dropping her off at my place when you’re done?” he asks me.

  “Of course not.” I give him a smile that is a mix of nerves, anxiety, and faulty reassurance all in one. He winks at me and turns to leave. He abruptly stops though and turns around, crossing the distance between us in two steps and dips me low for a heart pounding kiss.

  I hear Shaina catcall and both Daphne and Janine huff their disapproval as he whips me back up and sets me back on my feet before strutting his way out of the store.

  Embarrassed and nearly out of breath, I turn to our amused stylist and ask, “Shall we get started?”

  ***

  I’m grateful that Daphne scheduled us a second appointment since the first boutique was a bust, but now I’m not so sure that inviting Janine was the best of ideas. I tried on at least a dozen dresses and every one of them received either a huff, a sneer, or a blank, hollow stare. To say I am a little more than irritated by the time we were done with the first boutique would be a bit of an understatement.

  To her defense though, I wasn’t feeling anything that I had tried on yet either. But still, would it kill her to be a little more positive with her responses?

  We climb into my Outback and start to head to the second boutique in silence. You could cut the tension in my car with a knife, and I can’t take it anymore.

  “I know you don’t want us to get married yet.” I throw the accusation out for free game after pulling off of the expressway. She doesn’t say anything for a few moments.

  “I don’t think you’re ready for another serious relationship, let alone a marriage.” She doesn’t expound, causing my temper to continue to rise. I quickly pull into the parking lot of the boutique and park, waving Daphne and Shaina on to check in for us, before turning to Janine.

  “With all due respect, how do you know what I am and am not ready for? You haven’t stopped judging me for two seconds to see that there is no one else in this entire world for me than your son. He has spent so much of his life being there for me and taking care of me when I’ve needed a friend. He’s been this incredible man who hasn’t gotten lost in the things of this world. He stands up for himself, the people he loves, and Jesus every day. He’s everything I’ve always wanted but was too afraid to admit I wasn’t getting. And he stood beside me, no matter how stupid I was in making life decisions. Now it’s my turn to do the same for him. It’s my turn to stand up for him, take care of him, be what he needs me to be. And it makes me happy to do so. And I like to think that I make him happy in doing so.”

  I take a quick breath, expecting her to go off on me for being disrespectful, but she doesn’t. So I make the grand finale I practiced while cleaning the bathroom at midnight last night.

  “I’ve always wanted the absolute best for your son. Above all else, I respect his well-being. If I thought for one moment I wasn’t ready, I wouldn’t have agreed to marrying him. But I am, and he’s ready to marry me. So I’m sorry if you can’t get on board with that, but we’re getting married. Whether it be four months from now or four years from now, it’s happening. Either way, I’m still going to defend our decision, because that is exactly what it is. Our decision.”

  My heart is pounding, feeling proud of myself for standing up to her, but fearful that I may have just crossed the fine line of disrespect to the one person who could make my life a living hell if she truly wanted to. When I finally break eye contact, I search her face to find a hint of pleasant surprise.

  “That,” she says after a few moments, “is probably the most honest you’ve ever been with me. I’ve never had a problem with you personally. But I did wonder if you were taking advantage of Stephen’s feelings for you. Clearly, I need to step back and regain some perspective.”

  She opens her car door and steps out, leaving me to try to interpret what she means by that. I shake my head and try to resolve myself into not letting her get to me while I try to get through this appointment.

  Janine is standing outside with one hand on the door to the boutique as I approach the building.

  “Thank you for inviting me to come along today,” she says, her tone a little softer than a few moments ago.

  “You’re welcome. Listen, I don’t want things to be hard between us. We both love your son very much and although we might disagree what it means, we both still want what is best for him. You’re about to become my mother-in-law, but you’ve always been like a mother to me. I really hope that we can overcome titles and can respect the new roles we will have in each other’s lives going forward. ”

  She kindly nods at me and opens the door, allowing me to enter in front of her.

  Daphne gives me a curious look as we make our way toward the dressing room, but I just smile and shake my head, praying she doesn’t ask what our delay was about. Thankfully she doesn’t.

  “Hey, I think we may have found your dress!” Shaina calls behind her as she hands two dresses that look like they could weigh a combined forty pounds to the stylist. I chance a glance back at Janine, who gives me a genuine smile as she takes a seat on the couch next to Shaina.

  Kasey, a cheerful younger lady with bright blue eyes and the darkest brown hair I’ve ever seen, ushers me into the dressing room and helps me secure a bustier and slip. She steps out and brings back in a gorgeous white trumpet dress with an illusion neckline and lacey three-quarter sleeves. I step into the dress, wondering who picked this dress out because it is most definitely not something I would have picked out. I notice how the dress practically hugs me comfortably and doesn’t itch like I expected it to. I look down and take note of the intricate details of the gorgeous lace as Kasey does up the long string of lace-covered buttons that flow down my back.

  I don’t get a good look in the mirror before we step out,
but I don’t miss Kasey’s quiet gasp when I step away from her and out of the dressing room. I climb onto the pedestal in front of my best girlfriends and future mother-in-law and watch each of their jaws drop in complete astonishment. Janine wipes a tear away and I twist around to see what has everyone speechless.

  In the mirror is a breath-taking image of my mother. Or so I think it’s her, but really it’s me. The idea that I could look at beautiful as I remember my mother being brings a huge lump in my throat.

  Kasey repositions the short train of the dress, fanning it out behind me. In that moment, I see it all come together. I see Stephen at the end of a petal covered aisle, rows of our friends and family. I see the large old oak tree in my dad’s back yard off to the side with its pretty orange leaves, and the sun setting off in the distance.

  The whole image makes me weak in the knees and I find myself struggling to catch my breath.

  “You…look...” Daphne starts.

  “Stunning,” Shaina says.

  “Exquisite,” Daphne adds.

  “Just like your mother,” Janine whispers. I turn back around to find her wiping more tears away from her eyes. “Jessie, it’s… more than words. It’s perfect.”

  Both Daphne and Shaina nod their agreement. Kasey disappears for a moment and comes back with a couple different veils, a jar of bobby pins and a box of Kleenexes. She hands the Kleenexes to Janine and asks Daphne to help her for a second.

  My eyes explore every detail of the dress while the two girls pin my hair up in a quick chignon. By the time I’ve taken in all the pearly beading and intricate lace detail, Kasey has added a veil to my simple bun and I can’t help the tears that have pooled in my eyes.

  No words are exchanged as I twist and turn to see all the different angles of the dress.

  “I think I’m done shopping,” I gingerly tell Kasey, who just nods in agreement. The girls behind me exhale a breathy giggle.

  “Good,” Shaina says as she winces from her seat next to Janine. “Because I think I might be in labor.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  ~Stephen~

  “She’s absolutely precious, isn’t she?” Jessie looks up at me in complete awe of the sleeping bundle of pink swaddled in her arms. “I can’t believe she’s already a month old!”

  I can see the wheels turning in her head, and I know that if I want to make this girl happy, we’re only just going to make it the year I asked her for.

  “She is pretty precious. Congratulations again, guys.” I turn and shake Lucas’s hand. I’ve only met the guy a handful of times, and though we have next to nothing in common, he doesn’t seem like a bad guy. And since he now thinks Caleb’s an idiot too, he gets extra points in my book.

  “Hey, babe, I have to get back to the office. Please don’t forget we have to be at the church by four.” I kiss the top of Jessie’s head and wave goodbye to Shaina and Lucas, and then to Daphne as I make my way out of the studio.

  ***

  I try to focus on the deposition documents that I’m supposed to be analyzing, but all I can focus on is the look of yearning in Jessie’s eyes as she held that baby in her arms. We’ve been together four months now, and I know for me that it isn’t long enough, but for Jessie, it’s not just about being with me. It’s about being a part of a family. About spreading all the love that incredibly large heart of hers has. Who am I to deny her that? But I just can’t get over my selfishness.

  “Mr. Cahill, you asked me to remind you about your four o’clock appointment. It’s in twenty minutes. Mr. Michaelson asked if you were done with the Tanner deposition yet. Would you like me to take him the files?” Tessa doesn’t enter my office, but stays at the door, with a stack of files already piled up in her arms.

  “No, thank you, Tessa. I’m not quite finished. Please tell him they will be on his desk first thing tomorrow. I won’t be back after this appointment, so have a great evening.” She nods with a smile and retreats from my door, most likely on her way to the file room. I pick up the files and make a mad dash for my car, doing my best to focus on getting to the church in time.

  Premarital counseling is a requirement my dad gave us before he would agree to marry us, but he insisted that he not be the one to do the counseling. He said he didn’t want to know some of the details that our counseling would undergo, so he recommended a friend he trusts here in the city. Quite honestly, I’m kind of thankful to not be having tonight’s discussion on sex with my father and my fiancé.

  Jessie’s car is already in the lot when I pull in, and after checking my watch, I find I’m already five minutes late. I pick up my pace and brace myself for the extreme uncomfortableness that today’s session will undoubtedly be. I find Jessie and Pastor Ken chatting lightly when I enter the room. At the sight of her my heart starts to patter. I’m such a girl.

  “Stephen. Welcome,” Ken says, holding his hand out. I shake it quickly and turn toward my girl.

  “Hey, you,” she smiles up at me, kissing my cheek as I take the seat beside her.

  “Sorry, I’m late. Traffic is a little crazy out there today. Shall we get started?” Jessie reaches over and grabs my hand, giving me a warm smile. Ken settles back into his seat, opening his Bible.

  “Alright. So last time we talked about what roles you expect one another to play in a marriage and I think we did a good job of covering what we should be providing for one another in all aspects. However, I want to talk about the expectations of sex. As I understand, you two have not had sex yet, is that correct?”

  My palms start to sweat so I pull my hand from Jessie’s grasp. She shifts in her seat too, and I’m somewhat comforted that she’s as uncomfortable as I am. But that just makes me want to escort her out of here as quickly as possible. However we need to get through this, so I stay seated.

  “We have not had intercourse together yet, no,” Jessie answers.

  “Oh?” Ken’s eyebrow pops up in curiosity as he reads the full meaning of her statement.

  “When I was in high school,” I interject, “I had one partner. It was only once, but the consequences turned into worst case scenario. I haven’t slept with anyone since.” Ken just stares hollowly at me, expecting me to go on, but I really don’t want to go into further detail. Jessie wrings her fingers but straightens her posture in her seat and sets her jaw, showing me that she’s just as determined to get through this session as I am, so I quickly explain the situation with Zoe to Ken. He sits quietly and watches both me and Jessie carefully while I tell him what happened.

  “So when you found out about the abortion, what was your initial reaction? Were you upset, angry…relieved?” Ken asks me when I’m finished. I think for a second, trying to remember what it was like when I first found out.

  “Initially I was sad, very upset. But more than anything, I felt betrayed. I wondered how someone who appeared to be so soft and sweet could do something so heartless. She chose to end a life. One that I helped to create. I mourned the loss for a long time. Still do occasionally, but not to the point that it consumes me anymore.”

  “So you think you’ve dealt with all of those feelings sufficiently?” Ken asks.

  “I do.”

  Ken writes a couple things down on his notepad before looking back up at both of us.

  “Okay, so you two are not having sex until the wedding night. Was this a mutual agreement?”

  “Yes,” I say at the same time Jess says “no”. Poor Ken looks pretty confused by our inconsistencies. Ironically he told us at our first session, after some personality and compatibility quizzes, that statistically we were essentially the perfect couple. I bet he’s reconsidering our results now.

  “We made a pact with each other, and God, shortly after the Zoe incident that we were both going to wait. We weren’t together at the time. But we kind of renewed our agreement, so I guess you could say it’s a mutual agreement,” Jessie explains.

  “Good. And how is that going for you both?”

  I can’t help the snic
ker that comes out. Thanks to the three person rule, Jessie and I have had little to no time alone in the last few weeks. Granted, we’ve had plenty of dates where we’ve been in quiet public settings. We have closed down our favorite coffee shop three times this month already. But I’m missing that quality time where it is just her and me watching TV in our sweats, or having a movie marathon that ends up with one or both of us falling asleep on the couch.

  We did try it a couple of times with our self-appointed chaperone, but Daphne could rival a plantation foreman with her beady eyes watching our every moment and uncanny ability to measure the distance between us from across the room. Needless to say, neither one of us has suggested a night in for quite some time now.

  “Well.” Jessie blushes. “We do seem to have this pretty incredible chemistry. So much so that we’ve had to enlist what we call the three person rule. My maid of honor helps mediate anytime we spend time in a less public capacity.”

  “I’m not sure mediate is quite the right term for what she does though. More like…impose.” I know I sound like a spoiled brat who isn’t getting his way, but seriously Daphne has quickly landed herself on my last nerve.

  “So you aren’t in favor of the intervention, then?” Ken asks me.

  “I don’t mind that she’s intervening as much as how she’s intervening. I feel like she takes her role a little too personally. And I don’t think I’m alone in my frustration.” Jessie subtly shakes her head beside me. She hasn’t really ever come right out and admitted it, but she’s the one who has picked where we hang out lately, hence the late nights at the coffee shop.

  “So how are you accommodating this frustration? Are you still getting to spend time together?”

  “Yes,” Jessie responds. “We just spend our time in public and limit our good night kisses to parking lots or front doors. We may not like how she’s going about helping us, but we both know what we want.” She looks at me and I take up her hand again. “And that is to wait. So we do what we have to do to control ourselves.”