By My Side

by Wendy Lou Jones

  “I suppose so.”

  “Any new men on the horizon?”

  Kate paused, just for a second, but it was long enough. “No.”

  “Katy Heath, there was hesitation there. Tell me everything.”

  “There’s nothing to tell,” Kate said, realising her mistake. “So when’s the wedding going to be?”

  “Don’t you ‘wedding’ me. Who is he?”

  “Nobody. There’s no-one.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “It’s nothing, honestly.”

  Anna tilted her head and gave Kate a look that eventually made her crack.

  “You’ll end up marrying him, I bet,” Anna said when Kate had finally brought her up to date.

  Kate spluttered into her tea. “Yeah, right. Did you not get the bit when I messed everything up by running my mouth off? I probably just need to find a nice uncomplicated guy.”

  “Is there such a thing?”

  “Then I’ll be able to get Adam Elliott out of my head. It’s probably just an infatuation. Maybe I’m deficient in something?”

  “Yes: a good man,” Anna told her.

  “Thank you. It’s okay, I’ll probably clash heads with him again next week and remember exactly why I hated him so much in the first place.”

  “Or he could be the perfect guy for you, but you’re too chicken to try?”

  “What?” Kate was struck dumb.

  “Face it, Kate. You throw yourself into these relationships, until they’re just starting to go really well and then you panic. You find something miniscule that you don’t like about them and blow it up out of all proportion and then finish with them. It’s the way it always happens.”

  Kate was astounded. Where had all this come from? “I thought you were supposed to be my friend?” Kate joked back, but there was an edge of hurt in her voice that she couldn’t seem to hide.

  “Don’t look at me like that. I’m only saying this because I want you to find someone who makes you as happy as John makes me. You’re my best friend, Kate. It’s just that you seem to really like this guy. Is there no way that you could save it? Be brave for once and give it a go.”

  Kate laughed sadly. “Don’t hold your breath,” she said. “Anyway, you’ll be far too busy drooling over your new fiancé to worry about little old me. Oh, Anna, I’m so pleased for you. And I can’t wait until you’re living closer to me.”

  Anna gave her a serious look and then like a light switching on, she beamed. “I know. It’s going to be great, isn’t it?”

  On the train on the way home, Kate looked through her pictures of the party and the ceremony on her shiny little camera. She smiled at the shots of Anna in her silly hat and gown, the pair of them together, and then a lovely one of Anna and John.

  Kate thought back to her conversation with her friend. Her relationships had all been complete disasters to date. Was she just being too picky? Did she panic, as Anna had suggested? She paused, unable to process her inner fears. One man out there had to be right for her, surely? And then maybe she would no longer have to fight.

  Kate walked back into the house and found Sophie and Rich looking serious. She stood in the doorway and smiled, but neither of them smiled back. “What is it? What’s up?”

  “It’s your mum, Kate. She’s in hospital,” Sophie said. “Your dad rang about an hour ago. We’ve been trying to contact you, but your phone was turned off.”

  Kate immediately grabbed her mobile and found the battery was dead. “What… What’s happened?”

  “She’s all right.” Sophie quickly came over to stand beside her. “She tripped up at the top of the staircase and fell all the way down.”

  “Oh God!” Kate’s hands flew to her mouth and her knees became weak.

  Sophie put an arm around her shoulders and sat her down in the nearest chair, crouching before her. “It’s okay. They’re with her now. And Rich’ll give you a lift in as soon as you’re ready.”

  “I can drive,” Kate said.

  “No, you can’t. Not in this state.”

  Kate looked over at Rich. “Can we go now?” she asked.

  Rich nodded. “Of course.”

  Sophie gave her a big hug and helped her to her feet. “Go on then,” she said. “Send her my love, won’t you?”

  It was a Sunday night and the streets were clear and in no time at all Kate was running through A&E in search of direction.

  Sheila, the night sister, was on. She stopped Kate as she went hurtling through. “Kate. What’s the matter?” she said.

  “It’s my mum,” Kate replied. “She was in here about an hour ago. She fell down the stairs.”

  “Of course, I should have realised. She’ll be in Theatre by now. But don’t panic, she wasn’t too badly injured. It could have been a lot worse.” She turned to another nurse passing by and held a leaflet out to her. “Amy. Take this to Mr Conner in Cubicle Three, please, and then send him on his way. I’m just going to take Kate up to find her dad. I won’t be long.”

  The two of them marched through the hospital up to Kempton Ward, talking about her mother’s injuries on the way. In the day room they found Kate’s dad looking small and lost. Kate rushed up to him and hugged him fiercely, tears springing to her eyes.

  “Kate, you came. I didn’t know what to do.” He clasped his daughter so close to him that Kate was rocked by a vulnerability she had never known.

  Sheila made sure they were okay and then left them to it and Kate sat down next to her dad. “What happened?” she asked him, holding on to his big warm hand.

  It turned out that Kate’s mum had suffered a broken ankle, the bone in her wrist had been sticking out through her skin and at first they had feared for a broken neck but the scan had cleared her of that. Kate drew in a big sigh of relief. “You poor old thing,” she said. “And poor Mum.”

  “But you’re here now,” he said. “Everything will be all right now, I know it will.” And he patted Kate on the back of her hand as they sat there, waiting for news.

  About an hour and a half later, a surgical registrar walked in and told them that the operation had been a success and that her mother would be up on the ward very soon. Kate asked which consultant her mother was going to be under and the doctor told her, “Mr Elliott.”

  After the doctor left, her dad turned to her. “Is he good?” he asked.

  Kate’s head was reeling. “Em… yes, Dad,” she said. “He’s very good.”

  The next day Kate was on duty and eager to see how her mum was getting along, so she grabbed the earliest break possible and took the stairs two at a time up to Kempton Ward and buzzed to be let in.

  When she arrived, her mum was sat up in bed, wearing a soft collar. Her left ankle was in plaster and her right wrist was strapped up high in a sling. She smiled when she saw Kate and Kate walked in and kissed her.

  “Mum. Are you okay? Are you in any pain?” Kate asked.

  “No. I’m quite comfortable, thanks, dear. They’ve all been very nice to me in here.”

  “What about your wrist? How’s it feeling?”

  “A little sore.”

  “Can you wiggle your fingers?”

  Her mum concentrated on moving the little she could. “See. I told you I was all right. How are you, love? You look shattered.”

  “Really? Because my mother only went and threw herself down the staircase last night, completely ruining my evening off. Some people are so inconsiderate, you know?”

  Kate’s mum chuckled but then she winced.

  “What’s the matter?” Kate asked.

  “I don’t know. I’ve probably bruised my ribs, or something. I think I bashed every part of me on the way down that stairs.”

  “You poor thing,” Kate soothed.

  “Oh look, there’s my doctor. Over there. See? The one in the dark grey suit. Oh good, I think he’s coming over.”

  Kate’s body froze. Mr Elliott walked past the end of the bay, he stopped and looked across at her mother and Ka
te reached for her charts and pretended to be looking at them.

  “Mrs Heath. How are you feeling this morning?”

  “Much better, thank you, Doctor. Sorry to be such a nuisance.”

  “You are nothing of the sort,” he said. “I’m glad you’re feeling more comfortable now. Are the nurses treating you well?”

  “You are all being wonderful. Far better than I deserve, silly old woman that I am.”

  “Nonsense, there is nothing silly or old about you.”

  Kate’s mum beamed and then unwittingly scythed down her daughter in one fell swoop. “I believe you know my daughter, Kate?”

  Mortified, Kate turned around, preparing to witness the disapproval in Adam’s eyes.

  “Of course. Kate, I hope we are treating your mother to your satisfaction?”

  Kate couldn’t help but feel the barb in his words, even if his tone was painfully pleasant. “She seems very comfortable, thank you,” she said, and she was sincere in that, even if her voice betrayed the tension that he caused. Her eyes lowered, unable to meet his gaze and she longed for a hole to open up in the floor so that she could fall right through and disappear.

  “Good. I’ll pop by again tomorrow, but if you need anything, I’m sure the nurses will be able to see to you.” He nodded a goodbye and withdrew.

  “Such a lovely man. I don’t know why you had such a hard time with him? He’s been sweetness and light to me.”

  Kate was dying. Her mother had done that on purpose, she was convinced. In fact it was no wonder Kate found difficulty maintaining a moderate level of tact when her mother seemed devoid of even the basics. At a time when she wanted nothing more than to forget the entire sorry incident, the world seemed to be conspiring against her, and her mother obviously wanted in on the act.

  At dinner the following evening, Sophie brought up the subject of Mr Elliott and Kate gave her a pointed look.

  “I’m sorry, but I told Rich all about it,” she said, sheepishly.

  “Soph!” Kate was horrified.

  “Don’t worry, he won’t tell anyone, will you?”

  “Scout’s honour,” he said, holding two fingers up beside his head.

  “I just thought it would be good to get a man’s point of view on things.”

  Kate humphed in reluctant acceptance.

  “Men don’t work like women, Kate,” he said.

  “Tell me something I don’t know.”

  “They’re far less complicated.”

  Kate looked at him as if he was mad.

  “No, honestly. If we like a girl, we’ll go for it. If not, we won’t.”

  “Like: good, don’t like: bad. I’m with you so far.”

  Rich shook his head. “We don’t do subtle changes in the tone of our voice, or a look in a different direction. If we’re pissed off at you, you’ll know about it. If we’re angry, you’ll hear it. Same goes for horny.”

  Sophie joined in. “If they’re ignoring you, they’ll smile and nod.”

  “Exactly. You’re getting it.” He grinned at his girlfriend. “Don’t try and read more into the guy than is actually there.”

  “Okay, so what should I do?” Kate asked, open to hearing any pearls of wisdom that Rich was willing to offer.

  “Nothing.”

  “Nothing?”

  “Nothing. Don’t always be trying to do something, Kate. If he likes you, he’ll get around to it. If he doesn’t, he won’t.”

  “As simple as that?”

  Rich nodded. “Yep. Pretty much.”

  Kate let out a large sigh and started clearing the dishes. What did he know? He’d never met the guy. Adam Elliott was far more complicated than most other men she knew. She was swimming through fog to get to him and why? It was still a mystery to Kate why he had such a hold over her.

  She spent the next few days dashing between work, her mother and helping out her dad. She saw nothing of Adam and had little time to be either sorry or thankful for it.

  A week or so later, Kate was out in town doing some shopping when she stopped off in a coffee shop for a drink. She set her tray on the table and placed her bags at her feet and then settled herself down. A moment later Pete walked in. He spotted Kate and smiled. Kate smiled back and then pulled out a magazine and started to read.

  A few minutes later a chair pulled up on the other side of the table and Pete peered over the top.

  “So I’ve finally got you out for a drink,” he said. “This can be our first date.”

  Kate set down her magazine and looked at him. “This is not a date.”

  “But it could be. Come on, Kate. Give me a try. What have you got to lose?”

  “My rarity.”

  “Oooh. Touché!”

  “I’ve heard about you, Peter Florin: serial philanderer and heart-breaker extraordinaire! Can’t say I’m eager to join the club.”

  “I’m cut to the quick. I had no idea you had such a low opinion of me,” he said feigning injury.

  “I think you’re a great guy, all that aside. I just have no interest getting my heart broken. Although I know of at least one nurse who might be willing to give it a try.” She smiled.

  “Really? We’ll get back to that in a minute. So why can’t I tempt you, Kate? Heart already taken? Already broken?”

  Kate was suddenly less amused.

  “It is, isn’t it?” he said, curiosity most definitely engaged. “But which one? And by whom?”

  Kate looked into her coffee. “Why so interested? Is it just that you can’t have me, so you feel the call of a challenge?”

  “No. I like you, Kate. You tell it like it is. I can respect that. I wouldn’t want to break your heart, whoever has got there before me. Talk to me, Kate. Come on. Who is it?”

  “Only if you tell me why you go through women like a bullet through butter.”

  “Ah. Well, that’s the million dollar question.” Pete took a swig of his drink and then looked back at her, thoughtfully. “I lost someone a few years ago. Someone who was dear to me. After that I guess I felt it was time to really live.”

  Kate looked at him. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I wasn’t expecting you to be as honest as that. That must have been very hard.”

  “It was. It still is some days. Especially now I’m here.”

  “Why here?”

  “Because I find myself haunted by a reminder. Adam Elliott.”

  “Adam?” Kate’s mouth went dry. She tried for a normal voice. “You and he don’t get on?”

  “It’s a long story.” Pete looked at her. “Are you all right?”

  “Yeah. Sure.”

  “Only you seem a bit… disturbed? I haven’t said something to upset you, have I?”

  “No. No. We’re just obviously haunted by the same person.”

  “What, you and Adam?”

  “Not really. I don’t know. You won’t tell anyone will you? I would die if anyone found out.” She heaved a big sigh.

  Pete shook his head and reached over to cover her hand. “Your secret’s safe with me, Kate. I may be many things – desirable, intelligent, debonair…” He grinned. “But I’m a good friend.”

  Kate gave him a sad smile.

  “He’s a good man, Adam. You could do a lot worse.”

  “Yeah, well. If I ever manage to dig myself out of the mess I’ve made with him, I might find out.”

  Pete’s phone went off. He looked at her. “Saved by the bell,” he said and answered the phone.

  Kate sat there sipping her drink while Pete made plans to meet up with his latest woman. She smiled to herself as he put on the charm. Perhaps she had had a rare glimpse of another side of Peter Florin and he seemed to be a pretty decent guy underneath.

  Weeks went by without seeing more than a fleeting glimpse of Adam. Kate began to hope for even his passing displeasure. A cross word from him would be better than nothing at all. Willing a big trauma into existence wasn’t something she was proud of, but at least then she might get to spend some time wi
th him. But with her luck, it would be someone else’s turn on duty if a call actually did come in.

  Rich was spending more and more time round at the house. Sophie and he were becoming inseparable. Many a night Kate would wander off up to bed leaving the two lovebirds downstairs, kooched-up together on the settee. And although she was happy for the two of them, it only seemed to accentuate how thoroughly alone Kate actually felt. No, not alone exactly, but with a growing awareness that she wanted to be with just one person: Adam.

  Finally a call came in. A young man had been badly injured in a fall and a call went out for the trauma team. Kate felt a shiver of excitement race through her and she immediately went to find out who was on duty that day, but it wasn’t Adam and her heart deflated.

  Still, she got ready to receive the patient and when he arrived he was bleeding out fast. The lad had fallen from the height of a roof, or that’s what they had been told, and they were prepared for that, but what control had forgotten to mention was that he had fallen through glass. He was cut to ribbons. Paramedics had tried to stem the flow and had given all the fluids they could, but what he desperately needed now was blood.

  Kate was put to the task of getting on to blood bank, but the line was engaged. She waited a few seconds, tapping her pen on the mountain of paperwork lying across the desk and then she tried again. Still no luck. She looked for the list of consultants’ numbers, usually pinned above the desk, but it wasn’t there. She rifled through the paperwork littering the area and still she couldn’t find it. She tried the department again. The tone beeped out a busy rhythm and after a third try, with Mr Cobham shouting at her to report, Kate jumped up and ran.

  She ran down the corridor, out of A&E and shot through into the main corridor of the hospital. She ran as fast as her legs would carry her, weaving in and out of staff and visitors, eventually arriving in the labs. She rushed up to the desk and gasped out the problem. The technician looked confused, until he noticed the phone lying just off the hook. He apologised profusely, shouted abruptly and the team jumped into action.

  They assured her they would get more blood down to A&E as fast as possible and the head of department rang through to apologise to Mr Cobham. Kate took a moment to catch her breath and thanked them before walking back down to A&E at a far steadier pace.