A Fine Mess

by Kristy K. James

  “Trust me, you won’t fall asleep. We have a pretty upbeat song service, and Pastor Caldwell could never be accused of being boring.”

  “One of those hellfire and brimstone kind of guys, is he?”

  “Not very often. Mostly he’s just really enthusiastic. He knows what he wants to say and he says it in a way that gets, and keeps, your attention. At least that’s how it is for me.”

  Ian hoped that was the way it was for him, too, as he wheeled into a parking spot at the non-denominational church Annie had attended her whole life.

  He helped her out of the car and then walked, his arm around her shoulders, to the carved double doors. Somehow he’d assumed it would be bigger than it was. A place he could get lost in the crowd. He couldn‘t get lost here if he tried.

  Not when he appeared to be the focus of attention. Person after person greeted Annie, letting her know they’d missed her last week. And looked at him curiously.

  “Do they know we’re married?” he whispered, once they were seated in a corner of the classroom.

  “I’m sure that Pastor Caldwell does. Mom tells him everything. But I don’t know if anyone else does.”

  Anyone who hadn’t been aware of it at the beginning of the day found out when the service itself ended around twelve-fifteen. Because the pastor had Ian and Annie stand in order to make the announcement.

  ~~~~

  “You still look a little shell shocked,” Annie observed as they reentered the apartment.

  “You would, too, if you were me,” he said, collapsing in one of the recliners and closing his eyes.

  She noted that he’d unbuttoned the jacket of the suit he’d worn for their ‘wedding’ and yanked the knot out of his tie. All in all, he looked like he’d been through a harrowing experience.

  “What, exactly, is the men’s group?”

  “A lot of guys would have asked that question before they said they‘d be glad to join it,” Annie pointed out, unable to suppress a grin as she kicked off her high heeled shoes. Which didn’t matter since his eyes were still closed.

  Well, one of them was still closed. The other was squinted open, watching as she sank down on the sofa.

  “Annie, my darling submissive wife. I repeat, what is the men’s group?”

  “Not being a man, myself, I’m not sure why you’d think I’d know.”

  “But you do.”

  “Of course I do. Dad‘s been a member of it for years.”

  “And?”

  “He likes it fine.”

  “Because?”

  “Because he’s a man, I suppose.”

  “Annie,” he growled, sounding very much like a bear.

  “Okay. I’ll tell you. It’s a group of men- No, don’t interrupt me. I’m trying to tell you. They meet once a month. They always have breakfast, and then they do something.”

  “Define ‘something.’”

  “Last month they painted the house of an older couple at church. Sometimes they go canoeing, or to the races. Usually, though, they do something to help someone else.”

  “And supervise the boys lock-in night,” he said sarcastically.

  “I didn’t see anyone twisting your arm, Ian.”

  “Because you weren’t looking close enough,” he sighed. She laughed at that.

  “You can always back out.”

  “Yeah, right. That’d look good, wouldn’t it?”

  “All I asked is that you come to church with me, not get involved in anything.”

  “And every one of those people know that you wouldn’t marry a man who didn’t get involved, don’t they?”

  “I’m sure they would expect that. But it doesn’t mean you have to be that man.”

  “As I recall, it was part of our agreement.”

  “Chaperoning the boys lock-in was part of our agreement? It’s funny but I don‘t recall that subject ever coming up.”

  “Ha-ha. You fit into my life, I fit into yours.”

  “I can guarantee you that, in my life, I’ve never gone on a boys sleepover. Ever.”

  “You’re giving me a headache.”

  “Look, Ian. I appreciate that you’re tying to be super-husband here, but I never expected you to get involved in things that make you uncomfortable. Certainly not something like this.”

  “Maybe not, but these people assume I’m like you. A Christian. And Christian’s have to do things like that.”

  “Oh sure!” Annie shook her head in disbelief. “Where did you ever get that idea? Why do you think they pounced on you like that? Because a lot of Christian guys avoid getting involved like the plague. And because they knew you’d want to make a good impression on them.”

  “So you’re saying they took advantage of me?”

  “Well, maybe. Uh- Kind of. If they did, it was with the best intentions. They’re probably hoping you’ll decide you love working with the boys so much you‘ll jump at the chance to teach a class.”

  “Not in this lifetime.”

  CHAPTER 6

  “Lord, forgive me,” Annie prayed, on her knees next to her full size, four poster bed.

  Ian’s words, ‘in this lifetime,’ had echoed in her head all day long. Certainly he wasn’t saved. But did he believe, like so many, that he would ‘come back as another person when this life was over? Did he believe in an eternal destination?

  As his wife, temporary as that position might be, she needed to make it her business to find out. As a Christian, she was obligated to be Christ’s light in his life. Thus far, she hadn’t done a very good job of it.

  Sure they’d talked about submissiveness, and he’d gone to church with her. But she'd only said grace silently for the entire eight days they’d been married, for fear of offending him. She’d only read her Bible in the privacy of her room. And she’d turned the radio off anytime he was around rather than listening to Christian radio or music.

  It was time to stop. And time to start fulfilling her duties as a wife. As much as their agreement allowed anyway.

  “Just please, Lord, don’t let me fall in love with him!”

  And that, she realized, was a distinct possibility. He was nice, he cared about others. His sense of humor was wonderful. He’d proven time and again that he was thoughtful, especially the day they’d taken her mother to the doctors and she‘d been so tired. So she couldn’t risk her heart with him. Not knowing full well that he intended to end the marriage just as soon as the terms of the will allowed.

  “All things are possible to him who believes.”

  Annie jumped, looking around to see who had spoken the words, because they sounded like they‘d come from behind her. But no one was there.

  “Lord?” she whispered.

  “All things are possible to him who believes.” This time she knew the thoughts she heard were silent, but there nevertheless.

  “Are You trying to tell me something?”

  Sure the old testament had examples of arranged marriages. And she supposed hers could be considered something like that. They both agreed to it. Entered in to it with their eyes wide open.

  The only real difference was that arranged marriages were intended for a life time, not just five years.

  She got to her feet and walked to the window, looking out into the brightly lit street below. Even at ten o’clock the traffic was heavier than it should be.

  “So what do you want me to do, Father?”

  She wasn’t even sure she wanted to spend a lifetime with Ian. Eight days wasn’t enough time to base that kind of decision on.

  Maybe he was an alcoholic. Or even a drug user. Maybe he was a closet wife abuser and she had yet to see that side of him.

  And if she believed that, surely there was someone waiting for the opportunity to sell her ocean front footage in Montana.

  As she waited, a passage in the bible came to mind, but only its location. She couldn’t remember what it was about, so she walked back to retrieve her bible from the bedside table. Flipping through the pages she fo
und Proverbs chapter thirty-one, verses ten through twelve.

  ‘A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.’

  Her knees gave out and she sank onto the edge of her mattress and tried to breathe.

  “All the days of my life?” was her first thought. Her second was, “What can I possibly give him that’s of value? He has everything he could ever want.”

  And then she realized he was missing some very important things. Jesus, being number one on the list. Love and security coming next.

  “I just asked that You help me not fall in love with him, Lord. I didn’t say I did love him. Are You telling me I should?”

  But the Lord, it seemed, had impressed upon her all He intended to for one night.

  ~~~~

  “You’ve done what?” Ian’s father said, far too quietly.

  That was usually an indication that the elder McCann was furious. Most people got louder the madder they were. But not his father.

  “I got married last week, Dad.” He watched as his father’s face turn an alarming shade of red.

  “You did not!” Even his head, bald because he thought it made him look more distinguished, was starting to turn color. Ian held up his left hand to show him his wedding ring. “Then why am I only hearing about it now?” Now being nine days later.

  “Because we wanted a week to ourselves.”

  “Who is she?”

  “Annie Blake.”

  It was clear that, while the name rang a bell, Ian McCann senior couldn’t quite place her.

  “I’ll save you the trouble of asking. She’s Paul Blake’s daughter.”

  “Paul Blake?” Again, the name sounded familiar but he had to think for a moment before he remembered who it was. “Paul Blake from accounting!”

  “That would be the one.”

  “You married a girl from accounting?”

  “No, I married a secretary. Her father is from accounting.”

  “A secretary!” He said the word with such distaste that Ian started to bristle.

  “Yes, Dad. You’re starting to sound like a parrot. Why don’t you just congratulate me and ask if I’m happy so I can get back to work?”

  “I could care less if you’re happy! What do you mean by going off and marrying someone so far beneath you? I expected more of you than that.”

  Ian walked toward the desk and carefully placed his hands on its surface.

  “Watch it, Dad. That’s my wife you’re talking about. I married who I wanted to marry. I’m sorry if she doesn’t meet with your approval. But I’ll tell you what. She meets with mine!”

  With that he turned to stalk out of the pretentious office that had been his father’s for as long as he could remember.

  “I’ll be telling my secretary in a minute so you might want to compose yourself before the news makes its way through the grapevine. I hope you’ll welcome Paul to the family with more enthusiasm than you’ve welcomed his daughter,” he said, glancing over his shoulder.

  “You always were a disappointment to me,” his father muttered, not bothering to even look at him.

  Ian just shrugged his shoulders and headed back to his own office. Some people would have been hurt by such a hateful reaction from their parent. Fortunately he’d grown used to that kind of coldness years ago.

  ~~~~

  With Maddie recovering nicely from her most recent illness, preparations for the move began in earnest. As the realtor had predicted, the offer had been accepted in short order and, within a matter of days, they owned the house on Wildwood Way.

  Because Ian wanted to be settled soon, he and Annie had taken to eating quick restaurant meals so that they had more time to shop for furnishings and decorative items.

  And to pack. And clean both the apartment and the house. Although Ian insisted on hiring a cleaning service for both places, Annie insisted on cleaning the cupboards and bathrooms in the new place herself. So Ian was left with no choice but to pitch in and help.

  It would be a relief when they were finally able to eat relaxing meals in their new home. Especially since Annie had taken to saying grace at mealtimes. A practice she continued to do in public.

  Not that Ian thought there was anything particularly wrong with prayer. Or praying in public for that matter. It wasn’t like she was shouting it or anything. She was actually fairly discreet. Still, it tended to draw the attention of people around them, and that made him uncomfortable.

  But what could he do? Tell her to stop it? Probably not without starting a mutiny. And so he sat at the table in the steakhouse they’d decided on tonight, waiting for her to finish fixing her salad at the bar a short distance away, preparing to be embarrassed again.

  Of course if she’d stop talking with the man standing beside her like they were glued together, they could start eating a little sooner.

  Ian sat up a little straighter, his attention zeroed in on them. Now that he looked closer, the man seemed to be doing all the talking. Annie seemed to be ignoring him. Or trying to. He shot to his feet when the guy grabbed her arm.

  “Sorry, pal, but this one is taken,” he said, smoothly cutting between Annie and her admirer.

  “Says who?” the young man asked sarcastically, reaching up to flip some of his long, jet black hair out of his eyes.

  “Her husband.” Ian flashed his wedding ring in his face. “So I suggest if you want to hit on someone’s wife, you get one of your own, okay. You finished here, Sweetheart?”

  “Yes I am,” she said quickly, shooting him a grateful smile.

  “I already got me a wife,” the guy persisted. “Yours is prettier. How about we trade?”

  “Sorry, but I prefer to keep mine.” With that, he put his arm protectively-and possessively-around his wife, and led her back to the table. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. Thank you for rescuing me,” she said her voice shaking slightly. She sat down in the chair he pulled out for her. “He certainly was determined.”

  “What he is is lucky.”

  “What!” Annie gasped

  “Lucky that he’s not picking himself up off the floor! Hitting on someone’s wife, while her husband is standing right there, takes a lot of guts. Or stupidity!” Ian grumbled, scowling at the salad bar, where Romeo had found a new, and evidently more willing, target.

  “Violence never solved anything,” Annie said gently, placing her hand over his, which he’d curled into a fist on the tabletop.

  “I wasn’t talking violence. Just a quick clip on the jaw. That’s all.”

  “Well, I’m glad it didn’t come to that. Now can we forget about it and eat please? I’m starving.”

  But Ian found that he couldn’t forget about it, craning his head this way and that in order to keep track of the grungy looking pick up artist. What if he hadn’t been here to intervene, he wondered.

  “Have you had any self-defense training?” he asked suddenly, turning back to glare at Annie.

  “Uh-uh,” was all she could manage, having just taken a bite of salad.

  “I’ll arrange for some lessons first thing in the morning. One of my clients teaches martial arts and I understand he knows his stuff.”

  “Ian-” He watched her swallow quickly. “You don’t have to do that. He wouldn’t have done anything. He was just being rude and pushy.”

  “You don’t know that he wouldn’t have done anything! You’re having the lessons and that’s all there is to it.”

  “Now wait just a minute,” Annie said, straightening her back. “You can’t order me to do something like that. I’m not ten years old. And you’re not my father!”

  “No, but I am your husband. And your Bible gives me the right to do whatever I want,” he snapped, annoyed that she was taking this the wrong way.

  “Oh no it doesn’t!” she said, her voice starting to rise in volume. She quickly ducked her he
ad and glanced around, but he could have told her that no one had noticed the outburst. She refused to look at him when the waiter, seconds later, delivered their meals

  “Read it. You’re to submit to and obey me,” he whispered as the young man walked to another table.

  “I’m pretty sure that privilege only belongs to men who actually love their wives!”

  “I’ve read quite a bit of the one your mother gave us and I’ve figured one thing out. If you believe it, you have to do what it says. And you believe it.”

  “And you don’t,” she responded sarcastically, spearing a piece of steak off her plate like she wished it were his hide.

  “I don’t know yet. I’m reserving judgment for now.”

  They ate in angry silence for several minutes. Long minutes during which Annie still refused to look at him.

  He finally admitted to himself that he had handled the whole situation badly. He also suspected that if he didn’t stop throwing the whole submissive wife subject in her face, she was probably going to throw something in his. And he doubted it would be just words.

  “Annie.” She continued eating as though he weren’t there. “Annie, I’m sorry. It’s just that you’re so little and I realized that it wouldn’t take much for someone like that guy to hurt you. I was just worried. But I was still mad, too, so nothing came out like I meant it.”

  It felt like time stopped as he waited to see what she would do now. And then she looked up, tears brimming her eyes. He hadn’t expected that reaction.

  “I’m sorry, too,” she whispered. “It was so sweet of you to come and rescue me like that. He did kind of scare me, but I didn’t want to admit it. But then you started telling me what I was going to do like I was a little kid or something and- I don’t know. I guess I’m kind of rebellious sometimes.”

  “I think anyone would be if some egotistical jerk started ordering them around like I just tried to do to you,” he said gently, reaching across the table for her hand. “I really am sorry, Annie.”

  “I really am, too. And you‘re not a jerk.”