Honor Bound

by Radclyffe

  “There will never be some other time,” Blair said flatly. “Or a better time. Not for us, Cam. Tell me what happened out there.”

  “It was the engine stuttering that reminded me,” Cam murmured.

  An uneasy feeling fluttered through Blair’s chest. Cam looked pale. Blair stepped a little closer, resting her fingers lightly on the top of Cam’s hand where it lay along the edge of the counter.

  “Go ahead. It’s okay.”

  Cam drew her mind from the past and focused on Blair’s face, smiling gratefully. Blair’s touch steadied her, anchored her in the present.

  “I was late for school, and my father said I could ride with him on his way to the embassy. He went out ahead of me to tell the driver about the change in plans while I got my books. When I came down the steps, I could hear the car engine coughing like it was going to stall.”

  She hesitated, running a hand quickly over her face. She was sweating, the cold sweat of fear and dark memories. A faint nausea made it hard to speak.

  Blair forced herself to breathe, but it was difficult around the choking dread as she began to understand what Cam was saying. They had never talked about it. They had had so little time to talk at all. Not about what mattered, she realized. “You were right there?”

  Cam nodded. “About twenty feet away, I guess, when the bomb exploded. It knocked me down.” She was clutching the counter and made a conscious effort to relax her grip, to keep her voice even. “When I got up, the flames were so high, and it was so hot...and I...I couldn’t get close.” She looked at Blair, her eyes shadowed with old misery. “I was too scared.”

  “Cam,” Blair whispered, lifting her hand to caress her cheek. “Even if you could have...you know...”

  “I know,” Cam said. “But I should have tried.”

  “You were a child then,” Blair argued gently. “And yesterday you weren’t, and you still couldn’t have saved either of them.”

  Cam closed her eyes briefly, seeing her father disappear as his car roared into flame. She wasn’t sure who she had been trying to rescue yesterday, but she’d failed. Again. “I know.”

  Hearing the guilt still heavy in Cam’s voice, Blair shook her head in frustration and sympathy. Knowing and believing were two very different things. She was torn between wanting to shake her and wanting desperately to hold her. “Do you have any idea how crazy you make me when you do things like you did yesterday?”

  “Some,” Cam admitted, turning her palm so that their fingers met briefly. “I don’t mean to.”

  “You aren’t indestructible, you know.”

  Cam laughed shortly. “Believe me, I do know that.”

  “That’s some progress, I suppose.” Blair sighed.

  “I don’t want you to worry about m—”

  “Please! Don’t push your luck, Roberts,” Blair snapped. She withdrew her hand and pointed to Cam’s arm. “What about changing the bandages?”

  “I’ll have Stark or Savard give me a hand,” Cam said with a shrug. “I was just about to go shower. I still smell like smoke.”

  “The hell you will.” Blair narrowed her eyes. “I might just trust Stark, but I have no intention of letting Renee Savard put her hands on you for any reason, under any circumstances.”

  “I can assure you, Ms. Powell, you have no need to worry.” Cam's voice was dark and intimate. Don’t you know that?

  Unconsciously as they’d talked, they had moved slowly closer, until Blair’s hand rested on Cam’s hip, and Cam’s fingers brushed tenderly up and down Blair’s arm. There was space between them, but those few inches shimmered with heat.

  “Thank you for coming to my room last night.” Blair’s lips were inches from Cam’s. “I don’t think I could have stood waiting much longer.”

  “I’m sorry it took me so long.” Cam found her eyes unable to leave Blair’s. She shuddered faintly as Blair moved near enough for their thighs to touch.

  “You’re driving me out of my mind, Cam. First you show up and announce you’re back on my detail...now this.”

  “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Blair.” Her voice was suddenly heavy and thick. “I never meant that. I don’t know any other way to do this.”

  “You really piss me off, Commander,” Blair murmured, moving her hand upward to rest her palm against Cam’s chest. “And I’m not saying I like any of this, and I don’t intend to change my mind any time soon. But still...” She slipped her hand under the collar and caressed the uninjured side of Cam’s neck “You make me crazy.”

  This time it didn’t sound like an accusation. Cam answered the call in Blair’s deep blue eyes and lowered her head to kiss her. She stopped at the sound of footsteps behind them.

  “Good morning, Commander, Ms. Powell,” Renee Savard said smoothly as she walked through the door and headed directly toward the coffee machine. She’d always thought that the best way to handle an awkward moment was to move through it. And since her presence would have been obvious in another second, retreat was not possible.

  Cam straightened and stepped back from Blair. “Agent Savard,” she said easily.

  The instantaneous change in Cam’s demeanor was amazing, and Blair watched more in fascination than anger. A second before, she had felt the heat and the urgency rippling through Cam’s taut body. Cam had been aroused, about to kiss her. Now, she seemed totally cool, not a hint of disturbance or discomfort on her face.

  Renee Savard undoubtedly suspected what had been about to happen between them, but suspecting and observing were two different things. Though Blair did not think it would matter to Savard what went on between her and Cam, she had to admit that if it had been Patrick Doyle who had come walking through that doorway, the situation would have been difficult.

  She’d been forced to make that an uneasy acknowledgment many times in her life, growing up in the public eye. She’d had no choice but to be cautious, and sometimes she had been forced to hide. She hated it; she had never accepted it; but there had always been more than her personal integrity at stake. There had been her father’s career to consider, and her sacrifice of silence had seemed acceptable in the short term. She had compromised because she hadn’t had a good reason to fight. Watching Cam slip effortlessly into her professional persona, she thought that perhaps she might finally have found that reason.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “We’ll be briefing at 0900, Agent Savard,” Cam said as Savard started out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee. Her voice was steady, but her autonomic nervous system was still responding to Blair’s hands on her. She felt her own hands trembling and buried them in the pockets of her jeans.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Savard replied from the doorway. The commander met her gaze directly, her gray eyes completely unreadable. It wasn’t that hard to read Blair Powell’s expression, however. She was still looking at Cameron Roberts like she wanted to swallow her whole. Savard figured if she hadn’t walked in at such an indelicate moment, Blair might have been better able to hide her feelings. It seemed she usually did.

  “Anything you need from me in advance, Commander?” Savard asked, withdrawing onto safer ground. She imagined privacy was rare for these women, and it wasn’t her job to infringe on what little of it they shared.

  “I don’t suppose you have a report from the FBI field team on when I’ll have their videotapes from the park, do you?”

  For a moment, Savard looked away, embarrassed. She didn’t want to admit that she was out of the loop, and had been ever since she’d told Doyle that she’d be happy to work on the inside with Egret’s security detail but that she wouldn’t pass him information outside of channels. He’d been angry, but he couldn’t order her to do it. It was a messy situation, but she was still FBI, and she would keep the Bureau’s dirty laundry private.

  She shook her head. “I’ve had no updates since arriving here, Commander.”

  Cam had expected nothing different. She knew Doyle would keep his intelligence reports from her as long as he could. “That
’s all, then.”

  Savard left without another word, and Cam turned to Blair, a rueful smile on her face. Blair’s eyes were still deep with desire, and it took all of Cam’s willpower not to touch her again.

  “I had better get to work. We should have some food supplies within the hour, and your clothes will be coming later today. I sent Grant back to the city this morning. I thought she would know what you needed.”

  “What about Stark? Is she all right?” Blair asked, her throat oddly tight with the lingering ache of arousal. Much more of this torture and I’m going to lose my mind.

  “She was cleared for duty, but I suspect she’s downplaying her symptoms,” Cam said, distracted by Blair’s fingers caressing the side of her coffee mug. She has such sensitive fingers. She always manages to find just the right spot, and then she strokes it so... She swallowed and pulled her eyes away. “Since we won’t be traveling for a few days, she may be okay.”

  Blair tore her gaze from Cam’s mouth, which she had just been imagining on her skin. Struggling to sound businesslike, she asked, “You expect this to be an extended stay, then?”

  “I don’t really know yet.”

  The space was too small, and Blair was too close—she couldn’t concentrate. Cam moved to lean against the opposite counter, but the three feet of distance failed to solve her problem. She was having trouble thinking about anything at the moment except the way Blair touched her when she was hungry.

  “How long do you think?” Blair ran a hand through her hair in frustration. I’ll really go crazy if I have to stay cooped up in here with you. It was agony last year, and I hadn’t slept with you then.

  “Ah, well—at the very least, another day. I hope to have preliminary reports from the ATF bomb center in a few hours. I expect that the FBI profiler and the ATF commander will be here sometime later today for a briefing. All the videotapes from our cameras and the FBI teams, if they cooperate, will be arriving here along with our computer equipment this afternoon.”

  “Why can’t I go home?” Blair asked, thinking that there she would at least be able to touch her, just touch her, without someone walking in on them.

  “Your apartment building has to be checked again, just to be certain we don’t have any breach in security there.” Cam wanted to hold her—just long enough to comfort. “I know it’s hard.”

  Blair tried to absorb the magnitude of the investigation, realizing that this was not something that was going to disappear overnight. A complex machine had already been set in motion, and there would be no stopping it. It all centered on her, and all she could hope was that there would be enough privacy for her to breathe, and to steal a few moments with Cam.

  “Tonight, then?” she asked hopefully.

  Cam shook her head. “We don’t know enough yet. We assume that the car bomb was some kind of message from Loverboy, but it could just as easily be a terrorist attempt on your life...or a warning to the government from some extremist group that wants recognition. It could be the first of a series of bombings that don’t involve you personally at all.”

  She paused for a deep breath, wishing she had better news to deliver. By rights, she shouldn’t tell her anything at all, but there was too much between them for that.

  “You’re safe here, and until we gather intelligence from the CIA and the antiterrorist divisions of the NSA and FBI, plus get an analysis of the bomb and a few hundred other bits of information, you can’t go home. It’s never easy getting intel from other security branches. I’m sorry—but for the next few days, I’m using this as our command center. I’d like you to remain here for at least that long.”

  Cam waited, knowing that what she was saying was probably more threatening to Blair than the physical attack on her life. This kind of focus would mean an even greater assault on her privacy and a more pervasive objectification of her life. There would be very little time, and almost no place, for her to live normally in the midst of such scrutiny.

  “Do I have a choice?” Blair felt her anger rising quickly. She could barely imagine being surrounded by strangers twenty-four hours a day. Not just in the background anymore, but literally in the same room with her.

  “We could have a helicopter take you back to the White House, where the White House guard would be responsible for your security.”

  Cam held her breath, knowing that, in theory, Blair should be perfectly safe inside the White House. Except that she knew damn well that Blair wouldn’t stay inside the White House, and there was no one there that she trusted to guard her. And she’d go crazy if she thought that Blair was likely to slip away from her security detail and inadvertently place herself in danger. And she didn’t think she could stand being separated from her now.

  “Why can’t you come back with me to DC?” Blair asked, risking disappointment but needing so desperately just to be with her.

  “I have to stay here, Blair.” Cam hated to say the words that she knew would hurt her. “At least until I’m sure that I’m getting all the information I need. It’s going to make a difference in the future. Sooner or later, you’ll be visible again.” She didn’t state the obvious, that Blair would be vulnerable again then, too.

  “Well,” Blair commented dully, struggling to hide the ache of rejection, “better the enemy you know. I’ll stay.”

  “Thank you,” Cam said softly. “A few days, and I’ll try to get you home again.”

  Anger and disappointment warred with desire. “I hope so, because I’m not sure how long I can stand this.”

  “Blair,” Cam whispered, her voice husky with the need to soothe her, “I’d give anything in my power to make this different for you.” She couldn’t bear seeing the pain in her eyes. She couldn’t bear being the cause of it one more time. “But I can’t.”

  “God, Cameron. You don’t get it at all, do you?” Blair took one step closer, clenching her fists to keep her hands off her. “I don’t want you to fix it. I want you to touch me.” She trembled, uncertain whether she wanted to scream or cry. I want you so much!

  Cam didn’t have the strength to look into Blair’s eyes and lie to her. She couldn’t say no to her, because she couldn’t tell her she didn’t want her. Not again. She wavered slightly on her feet, rapidly losing the battle with sense and reason. “Come with me,” she finally said hoarsely as she turned abruptly and walked away.

  Blair hesitated for half a second, staring after her, then she hastened to follow. She caught up to her at the beginning of the hallway that led to the rear of the house where most of the bedrooms were situated.

  “Fielding is down there,” Blair said in an urgent whisper.

  “I know that,” Cam said curtly. “I posted him there last night.”

  They reached Blair’s bedroom door and Cam opened it, stepping to one side so Blair could enter before following her through and closing the door. When Blair turned, confusion in her eyes and a question on her lips, Cam reached out with her left hand, gathered the fabric of Blair’s oversized T-shirt in her fist, and pulled Blair roughly to her. Lowering her head, she captured Blair’s mouth and swallowed her gasp of surprise with a kiss. She kept her hand twisted in the material, forcing Blair against her as she slowly walked them across the bedroom toward the open bathroom door.

  Blair had no choice but to hold on. She raised one arm and wrapped it around Cam’s uninjured shoulder, threading her fingers through the hair at Cam’s neck. John Fielding, and the fact that the house was filled with federal agents and other assorted individuals, was completely forgotten. At that moment, she couldn’t have cared less. All she was aware of was the heat pouring from Cameron Roberts’s body and the demanding press of her mouth.

  The kiss was anything but gentle, but even in her haste, Cam was careful not to hurt her. They were five feet from the adjoining room when Cam relinquished Blair’s mouth and moved her lips to Blair’s neck, biting her hard enough to draw a startled cry.

  “God, Cam,” Blair exclaimed, struggling to keep her voice muted
. “If you leave a mark, everyone out there will know.”

  “Shut up.” Cam quickly released the shirt and in the same motion, drove her hand beneath it until she found Blair’s breast.

  When Cam’s fingers closed firmly on the taut nipple, Blair’s legs began to quiver so unexpectedly that she stumbled. She pressed her face to Cam’s shoulder, eyes squeezed tightly closed, struggling desperately to contain a moan. They were still staggering toward the bathroom, and she reached between them, trying to work the buttons open on Cam’s jeans. Her hands shook so much she couldn’t manage.

  “I’m going crazy,” she gasped against Cam’s neck. “I’m so hot I can’t stand it.”

  Cam pushed her up against the wall beside the open bathroom door and dragged down the loose cotton sweatpants that were the last tangible barrier between them.

  As she bared Blair’s thighs, she looked into her eyes and said, “I know.”

  Then, still staring into Blair’s eyes, she slipped her hand between Blair’s legs, gliding smoothly through the wet heat, entering her in one fluid motion. She held her breath, watching Blair’s pupils dilate and her lids flutter nearly closed.

  “More,” Blair managed to gasp, before she caught her lower lip between her teeth and arched her hips with the sudden pleasure. As Cam pressed deeper, Blair’s head thudded against the wall and her entire body shook.

  Cam straddled Blair’s thigh, pressing herself, swollen and hard, against Blair’s leg. She withdrew her fingers, added another, and entered her again, deeper this time. Their lips were a fraction of an inch apart, their gazes locked.

  “I’m coming,” Blair whispered brokenly. She spasmed repeatedly around Cam’s fingers, clutching desperately at Cam’s hips, trying to stay upright.

  “I know,” Cam murmured, leaning her forehead against Blair’s, stroking almost completely out and then moving into her again, pushing deeper still with each thrust. “I know.”