Why would he have taken her to his mother's for Sunday dinner, introduce her to all his siblings, if he was going to dump her? Why would he have taken her to Connor's softball game today?
Maybe his mother had said something when Tessa had gone to the concession stand. Maybe Rose didn't think Tessa was good enough for her son.
Or maybe one of his siblings had seen Tessa's flaws and pointed them out to Quinn. They were a close family. Quinn would pay attention to their opinions.
"Now you're the quiet one," Quinn said.
"Just thinking," she said, trying to sound nonchalant and suspecting she'd failed miserably.
He reached across the cup holder and took her hand. "Don't. Whatever you're thinking, you're wrong."
"How can you know that?"
"Because you can't possibly guess what I need to tell you."
The knot in her chest loosened a little. "I have a vivid imagination."
One side of his mouth curled up. "Yeah, I know. I always look forward to your...ideas."
Okay, maybe he wasn't going to break up with her. But what else could make him look so serious? Almost scared.
Neither of them said much the rest of the way home. He parked his car behind his building, and she headed toward her apartment next door. But he snagged her hand and stopped her. "I think we need to go to my apartment for this."
"How come?" She frowned at him. She'd been to his place a few times, but they usually ended up at her apartment. His place was okay, but it was bare bones. Utilitarian. The living space of a man who wasn't home much, and when he was, just wanted to sleep.
"I need to show you something." They stepped into his lobby, and he unlocked the inner door.
"You know how to build a mood," she said. "All these mysterious hints and cryptic remarks."
He shifted the keys to his other hand and twined his fingers with hers. "Just trying to delay the moment of truth."
What could Quinn be so reluctant to tell her? Her heart pounded as they climbed the stairs together. The more close-mouthed he was, the more her mind raced.
Finally they stepped into his apartment. He tossed his keys on the counter and opened the refrigerator. "You want a beer?"
"No, thanks." Her stomach was twisted into a knot. She didn't dare put anything into it.
"Think I need one," he muttered as he pulled out a bottle. After he opened it and took a long drink, he set it on the counter and met Tessa's eyes. "Let's go into my bedroom."
"Really? That's what all this was about?"
"No." He pressed his lips together. "Well, mostly not."
Her curiosity raging, she followed him into the darkened room. They'd been in here before, but she'd been so focused on Quinn she hadn't noticed much else. His drapes were open, probably because he seldom slept here anymore. And when he did, he didn't mind if Tessa saw him.
He pulled her onto the edge of his bed and swallowed. "What do you see out my window?"
"My window. We've already talked about this. What a weird coincidence it was."
"Well, that's what we need to talk about." He stood up abruptly and paced the small area between his bed and the window. Finally he stopped, as far away from her as he could get, and said, "It was about two weeks before your break in. Before we actually met."
"What was?" She was thoroughly confused.
He swallowed and looked away. "I saw you, Tessa. On your bed. You were naked, and you were..." He swallowed again. "You were masturbating."
It felt as if he'd punched her in the stomach. "What? You spied on me?"
"God, no. Not deliberately. I'd just gotten home from work and walked into my bedroom when I heard someone moaning." He closed his eyes for a long moment, then opened them again. "I'd come from a murder scene. A brutal one. When I heard you moan, my brain went to the worst case scenario. That someone was injured, or worse. So I opened my curtains and looked out the window. That's when I saw you, and realized that no one was hurt. It was...it was you, Tessa. Enjoying yourself."
"And you watched?" Part of her was mortified that he'd seen her in such an intimate moment, when she was so exposed both physically and emotionally. But now that she knew Quinn, now that he'd seen her in many intimate moments, she was mostly aroused.
He sank onto the bed a careful distance away from her. "I told myself to go into the other room. That you deserved privacy. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't make myself stand up and leave." Red stained his cheeks. "It was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen, and it was like I was frozen in place."
There was a bulge behind the zipper of his jeans. He was aroused by the memory of what he'd seen, and arousal heated in her, as well.
"I never saw your face. Never saw anything above your abdomen. I saw one hand higher on your chest, and knew it was at your breasts. And your other hand...." His pupils were huge, almost completely obscuring the blue of his eyes. "I saw that you were a redhead. I saw you touching yourself, drawing out your pleasure, crying out as you got closer to your climax. It was the hottest thing I'd ever seen in my life. I was more turned on than I've ever been, and I hadn't seen anything above your waist. I wanted to leap through that window and taste you. Touch you. Give you orgasm after orgasm.
"I know it was wrong, Tessa. I know I should have walked away as soon as I realized what was going on. But I couldn't move my feet. All the blood in my body had rushed to my cock. Watching you was forbidden, wrong and made me a voyeur, but you were the most erotic sight I'd ever seen. I hope you can forgive me."
Tessa moved a little closer to Quinn, more aroused than upset. "I'm glad you didn't tell me this earlier. It would have been completely creepy. It would have made me feel so exposed, so vulnerable, so...naked, and not just physically." She would have shut him out of her life and taken a hot shower to cleanse the memories. "But now that I know you? It's kind of a turn-on, knowing you were watching while I did that." She took his hand. "While I was on the bed, touching myself, what were you doing?"
Arousal flared in his eyes. "I think you know what I was doing."
Her gaze flickered over his erection, and she wanted to touch him. "Maybe, in payment, you should let me watch you."
Hope dawned in his expression. "You're not upset? Embarrassed? Pissed off at me?"
Heat flooded her face. "Yeah, I'm a little embarrassed. And if we hadn't been so...intimate for the last few weeks, I'd be completely freaked out."
"Don't be embarrassed." He took her hand, rubbed his finger over her palm. "You know I'm crazy about you, Tessa. Even that night, before I met you, before I even knew your name or what you looked like, I felt a bond between us. As I watched you, there was a small voice telling me 'that's her. She's the one.' Hell, I even tried to stop myself from coming before you did. For some reason, it was important for me to come with you."
Hearing him say he was crazy about her should make her want to run. In the past, if a guy got too close, she took off. Whenever she sensed a guy was on the verge of falling in love with her, she shoved him away.
She didn't want to push Quinn away. Not until he went past 'crazy about you'.
"Did you?"
"Did I what?"
"Did you come at the same time as I did?"
He shook his head slowly, his eyes dark with arousal. "Hell, no. I tried, Tessa. I really did. But seeing you on that bed, touching yourself, listening to you moan, was too much for my self-control. I held out as long as I could, but I was like a teenager, having a girl touch me for the first time. I just exploded. I couldn't stop myself."
Arousal moved through her, a swelling wave of desire that made her shift on his bed. "Take off your clothes, Quinn."
His hands went to the button of his jeans, fumbled as he watched her. His face was all sharp angles, his eyes nothing but black.
Holding his gaze, she drew her own tee shirt over her head and dropped it on the floor, exposing the black lacy bra she wore.
He shoved his jeans to the floor, then tore his still-buttoned shirt over his head. He sa
t in front of her, wearing only dark blue boxers. His penis was swollen behind the fabric, the tip peeking out above the waistband.
"Touch yourself," she whispered
"God, Tessa." His hands trembled as he slid his palm up and down his shaft, still hidden behind his boxers. Then he curled his fist around his penis and ran one finger over the visible purple tip.
Her hands were shaking, too, as she unsnapped her jeans and tugged them slowly down her legs. She wriggled her hips, squirming on the bed as arousal pounded through her veins and her body screamed at her to reach for him.
Instead, she touched one breast, first cupping it in her hand, then brushing one finger over her nipple. The pleasure was intense, and she had to press her lips together to keep from moaning.
She'd save that until they were both naked.
Quinn groaned, his hand tightening on his cock. "God, Tessa." He leaned toward her. "I have to touch you."
"No," she whispered. "This is your punishment. I get to watch you. And you have to watch me."
"Don't know if I'll make it," he warned, his voice shaky.
"Let's find out."
She reached behind and unhooked her bra, letting the straps fall to her elbows. The cups slid excruciatingly slowly off her breasts, revealing her skin inch by inch. Quinn's cock twitched as he stared at her, and he stroked it with one hand. She didn't think he even realized his hand was moving.
Her bra caught on her erect nipples and she shimmied to get it off. Then she lay back on her elbows and ran one finger over the front of her black lace panties. Quinn swallowed hard as he watched her.
"Take off your boxers," she murmured.
"Afraid to."
"Why?"
"If I'm naked and watching you, I won't last. This way, I have a chance."
His words sent desire surging through her, and she suddenly needed to touch herself. Needed to relieve the ache that was building to an unbearable level.
She slid the panties down and dropped them, then lay back on Quinn's bed.
"Naked, Quinn. I want you naked."
Chapter 19
"You're killing me, Tessa," he groaned.
"Take your punishment like a man, Donovan." She dipped one finger down her cleft, found herself already wet. She began to lie down, then realized she wouldn't be able to watch Quinn if she did. So she mounded his pillows behind her and leaned against his headboard.
Then she froze. She'd never done this in front of anyone before – at least not knowingly. She wasn't sure she could actually do it.
"Don't stop," he begged. "For the love of God, keep going."
This was Quinn. The man she lo...cared about. He'd already seen her do this once. She could do it again. For him.
She cleared her throat, but when she spoke, her voice trembled. "My nipples are sensitive," she said, brushing one hand over them. The nipples tightened to hard nubs. "When I get myself off, I like to touch them ."
Quinn groaned and grabbed his cock. "God, Tessa."
"When I did this the time you watched, I was thinking about you. About the time I saw you naked." She circled her clit, then squeezed a little. She couldn't stop the tiny moan from escaping, although she tried. "Come with me this time, Quinn," she whispered. "Please."
Pleasure grew and grew as she stroked herself, alternating between circling her clit, pinching it lightly, and sliding one finger inside herself. Quinn gripped his cock, his hand moving furiously up and down the thick, dark shaft. The skin was so tight, it was shiny. He ran one finger around the tip, then stroked down again.
The sight of him, so aroused by the sight of her, made her hand speed up. In moments, her hips arched off the bed and she moaned, louder and louder as she trembled on the edge of her climax. Quinn's jaw was clenched and he was clearly trying to hold back.
Then, with one final pinch, her orgasm crashed over her, making her scream with the intensity of it. Quinn groaned and his hips arched high as he ejaculated.
"I need you," she moaned. "Quinn. Hurry."
In a flash he was on top of her, thrusting his still-spurting cock inside her. She wrapped her legs around him and pressed her mouth to his as her orgasm went on and on.
Finally the last spasms eased and she kissed him one more time, then pressed her face into his neck. He murmured words she couldn't hear as he nuzzled her ear and stroked his hand down her back, his hand warm against her skin.
His hand tightened on her hip. "Tessa," he murmured, shifting so he could look at her. "I'm more than crazy about you. I love you. I'm crazy in love with you."
"Quinn." Panic clutched at her chest, sweeping away the sensation of floating on air. "Don't say that. You can't say that. We barely know each other."
"I think we know each other pretty well. We've spent a lot of time together since we met."
"Yeah, we have. Mostly in bed." You couldn't build a relationship on sex, no matter how great it was.
"We are great together when we make love," he said, brushing her hair away from her face. "But we're great together at everything else, too. I can be myself with you, Tessa. I don't have to pretend to be the tough cop. I don't have to censor myself. We laugh together. Do you have any idea how damn rare that is? Being able to make each other laugh?"
She drew away from him slowly and gathered the sheet around her, feeling so much more naked than when she'd been masturbating in front of him. "You told me earlier you were crazy about me. I'm crazy about you, too. But this can't be love. It's too fast. Too sudden." She swallowed and looked down at her hand, which was clutching his knee. She unclenched her fingers and let him go. "Too scary."
Quinn lifted himself so he was sitting braced against the headboard. The same way she'd sat just a little while ago, while she exposed herself to him. "Why is love scary, Tess? I think it's pretty damn great."
"Bad things happen when you love someone," she whispered, staring down at the sheet, remembering the emergency room at the hospital. The blood. Brian's white, still face. His fixed eyes. "They can be gone in a moment."
Quinn took her hand and held it tightly. "Who did you lose, Tess?"
"My...my fiance," she whispered, closing her eyes. "He was a police officer. He was shot during a domestic arrest. He was wearing his vest, but the bullet hit his thigh." She swallowed. "His femoral artery. By the time they got him to the hospital, he'd already lost too much blood." Tears dripped down her cheeks, but she ignored them. "I was working in the ER at the time. I heard the commotion, but I was busy with another patient. Then I saw his partner outside the cubicle.
"Brian was gone before I got to him. Just like that, he was dead. We'd made love that afternoon, before we both left for work. He was going to pick up a pizza on the way home." Hot tears fell onto her chest. Besides the pain, all the guilt came rushing back.
Quinn pulled her close. "Brian Harper. I remember that. It explains why you don't date cops," he murmured, stroking her back.
She nodded against his chest, trembling. She'd broken her vow and now she was involved with Quinn, a whole lot more than she should be. She'd told him she was crazy about him, but if she were honest with herself, it was more than that. Her feelings for Quinn were dangerously close to the place she'd swore she'd never go again with a cop.
She couldn't bear to see Quinn the way she'd seen Brian. Dead. Lost, in the blink of an eye.
"How long had you and Harper been together?" he asked into her hair.
"That's a little complicated. We were high school sweethearts. We were each other's firsts. Then we went to different colleges and drifted apart." She took a ragged breath and shoved her hand through her hair. "We met again, accidentally, about a year before he died. We started dating, and everything went quickly. We got engaged after about six months."
She hiccupped a sob. "His partner used to tease him about that all the time. That we were high school sweethearts who reconnected. Said he must be Dick Tracy because he had his own Tess Trueheart. Called him Dudley-Do-Right, Pathetic Sap, Sweet Cheeks, a
ll kinds of stupid things." She hiccupped again.
"We only do that when we like our partners," he said, tangling his fingers in her hair. "So he and his partner must have gotten along well."
"They did. Brian loved working with Dave." She reached for her resolve and eased away from Quinn. "I couldn't go through that again. It took me too long to pull myself together after Brian died." Not just because he'd died, she reminded herself. And pushed that thought aside.
"I have a dangerous job," he acknowledged. "But a lot of people do. Would you date someone who drove a truck for a living?"
She frowned. "Yes."
"How about a firefighter? Would you date one of those douche bags?"
She couldn't suppress a tiny smile. "Just because they beat Connor's softball team doesn't make them bad guys."
"Would you date one of them?"
"I don't know." Her smile faded.
"What about a farmer?"
"Of course."
"A construction worker?"
"Yeah."
"How about a commercial fisherman?
"Sure." She stared at him, frowning. "What do any of those jobs have to do with Brian?"
"Nothing, except that all those jobs are more dangerous than being a cop." He drew her into his arms, and after a moment resisting, she let her body flow into his. "It doesn't matter what you do for a living, Tessa. You could sit at a computer in an office all day and get hit by a car walking home from work. Avoiding falling in love with policemen isn't going to guarantee that everything will be peachy."
"No. There are no guarantees. Believe me, Quinn, I know that. But no one doing any of those jobs carries a gun. None of those jobs involve someone shooting at you."
"That's mostly true. But some people would say you have a dangerous job, too."
"Yeah, I might stick myself with a syringe. Not quite in the same class as facing a gun."
"Not what I was talking about. You work in a hospital full of sick people. You're exposed to diseases every single day. You don't think that's dangerous?"
Watch Me (The Donovan Family Book 2) Page 17
