A Soldier's Gift

by Lynne St. James

  “I guess that’s why he’s telling stories instead of reading them?”

  “Yep. He can’t read or see up close very well. But he said every day his sight gets a little better and he hoped soon it would be back to normal.”

  “That’s wonderful. He’s lucky to be alive. Head injuries are bad. Your father had a couple of buddies who never were the same after it.” Shit, why had she brought up Doug. Things were going so well. Holding her breath, she hoped Dani would let it slide by without saying anything.

  “It’s okay, Mom.” Okay, who was this girl and what had they done with her daughter. Should she look under the hospital bed for a pod?

  “It is?”

  “Yeah, Miss Barb says we need to talk about Dad and remember the good times.”

  “She’s a smart woman.”

  “I hope so since she’s my therapist and you hired her.”

  “Smart ass.”

  Dani stuck out her tongue and laughed, a sound of pure joy. It’d been a long time since she’d heard it and it warmed her insides.

  They chatted a bit longer and then Jackie came in to take Dani’s vitals and said they’d be coming in soon to take some blood. Dani wasn’t happy about it but she didn’t put up a fight either. It seemed that her soldier—Lieutenant MacDonald—affected both women in the Fraser family. Leaving her daughter in good hands, she headed back to the bookstore. She couldn’t wait to tell Julie.

  “No way. He was in Dani’s room?”

  “Yep. His voice is amazing, deep and so sexy. Oh my God I could feel it in my stomach.”

  “You’ve got it bad.”

  “Stupid right? I barely know him, in fact I don’t know him at all really. How can I feel this way?”

  “Maybe your fairy godmother is watching over you?”

  “You’re the romantic, I lost my belief in happily ever afters about five years ago, remember?”

  “It looks like someone or something is trying to prove you wrong.”

  Shaking her head, Beth laughed. She loved Julie like the sister she never had, but sometimes her views on love were too much to handle. Still, there were so many coincidences. “I think you’ve been reading too many romances.”

  “It couldn’t hurt for you to read a couple. In fact, I just finished this one. Why don’t you give it a try?”

  “They’re your genre, you know that.”

  “I do. But something tells me you’ll really like this one.”

  “Whatever.” Taking the book, she slid it into her purse as she put it under the counter.

  The rest of the afternoon passed quietly. She stopped by the hospital on her way home with sandwiches and had dinner with Dani, but sticking to her decision she went home to sleep, dropping a kiss on Dani’s forehead as her eyes drifted closed.

  Driving home, Beth rehashed the day in her mind. Surprising, stressful, and something else. Seeing Lieutenant MacDonald affected her in an unexpected way. Just thinking about him and she was a giddy sixteen-year-old high schooler again, instead of the thirty-four-year-old cranky mom she’d felt like for months.

  Chapter Eleven

  The weeks passed and Mac’s vision returned a little every day. He could almost make out the details on faces now. Dr. Pinsky was happy with his progress and the stitches were supposed to come out the following week. It was hard to believe it’d been almost three months since the surgery. And three months since he’d met Beth and Dani. Actually fallen for them was more like it.

  Tag had gone to the bookstore and met Julie, Beth’s partner. At first she wasn’t very talkative, but he kept going. Something about Julie caught his eye too because after the initial ‘recon’ mission, Tag became a frequent visitor to the small bookstore. Tag obviously had the hots for the woman since he spent more and more time with her, even bringing her coffee when he could. Still he hadn’t invited her over for dinner, or spent the night with her. Mac had never seen Tag hold back with a woman and he wondered what was up. He wanted to ask but figured if his buddy wanted to talk to him he would.

  Tag continued to go to the bookstore a couple of times a week, and eventually Julie told Tag that Beth and her husband had been divorced for over five years, he’d had PTSD and it had destroyed their marriage. He wasn’t sure how he felt about her friend spilling secrets but then as much as Tag teased Mac about being a womanizer, he was ten times worse.

  Other things changed too, Tag got a new car and it was adapted for him to drive. It made life easier for both of them and he was sure Anna was secretly relieved not to be at their beck and call. They had real freedom again. She’d been working on them both to take the classes and the exam to become realtors. Tag told her he was considering it once he got his discharge and retired from the Army, but Mac knew it was a lie, it was the last thing he wanted to do. And Mac was still hoping to go back on active duty as soon as his eyes healed. No one ruled it out yet so it was the plan he was following. Just because he couldn’t be deployed didn’t mean he couldn’t be useful.

  Now Tag was driving, Mac went to volunteer later in the day and he’d even managed to convince Beth to have coffee quite a few times. Tonight was going to be different. A real date. Dinner. He hoped he wouldn’t make a fool of himself since he’d have to wing it as far as being able to order from the menu.

  Beth had started showing up to visit Dani at the same time they had their story time. The story grew quite involved and all the kids seemed to enjoy it. Beth kept trying to convince him to write it down and get it published. He’d never imagined being an author, especially of children’s books, but maybe. Mac learned a lot about Beth, and he admired how she dealt with Dani. He’d be lying if he didn’t say the best part of the day was being around Beth and Dani. Tag gave him grief about it regularly but he didn’t care.

  “Where are you guys going for dinner?” Beth had told Dani they were going to dinner. She was twelve and not stupid, and from what others said, it was obvious there was something going on with him and Beth so it was best to tell her. Especially since she was finally getting discharged on Friday. It had been almost six months due to all the complications and her weakened immune system. Beth and Julie planned a surprise welcome home party for her with a few of her friends from school. Tag and Mac were invited too.

  “The Cove, right, Mac?”

  “Yes. I reserved a table on the deck too so we could watch the sunset over the water.”

  “Can we go when I get out of the hospital? I want to go.”

  “We’ll see. If you annoy the crap out of me then no.”

  Dani laughed. “Don’t I always?”

  “Most of the time.”

  Mac laughed. Dani was like a little mini-me of Beth, stubborn and beautiful. He still couldn’t see either of their faces clearly but it didn’t matter. “We’ll go. Maybe with Julie and Tag too.” Dani met Tag one of the times he’d brought Mac to the hospital. She’d asked him a lot of questions about his amputations and if they still hurt. They found out later that she’d almost lost her leg because of the burns and following infection.

  “Yeah, that would be fun.”

  Beth shook her head but he didn’t care. He loved seeing them smile. Now he had to convince Beth he wanted to be more than friends. There were times he thought she wanted more too but then she’d pull back. He hadn’t gotten the guts to tell her he’d been the recipient of her husband’s corneas either and it was weighing on him. When he found out they’d been divorced he was glad, it meant she wasn’t grieving as much—at least he hoped. But then he started to think about it, and after hearing some of the stories Julie told Tag, he was worried she wouldn’t want to be around him knowing he had a part of her ex-husband.

  They got to the restaurant at the perfect time. The sun was making its way down the sky and they had a table at the edge of the deck leaving nothing but a railing between them and the water. He couldn’t have asked for a better table. So why were his hands sweaty, and why couldn’t he think of a thing to say except for ‘wow it’s really nice he
re’. He was never shy. He didn’t think his body knew what the word meant, or didn’t until they sat down and he suddenly had no idea how to carry on a conversation.

  “I haven’t been here in ages. I forgot how beautiful it is.”

  “Great, I mean, I’m glad we came then.”

  “Me too.” Beth smiled. Ugh, wishing the Earth would open and swallow him, he reached for his water glass and took a drink, only to choke when the vodka and tonic hit his throat. Shit. He’d completely forgotten they’d already ordered drinks. Dumbass. What the hell is wrong with me?

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, just grabbed the wrong glass. I’ll be happy when the blurriness goes away.”

  “How is that going?”

  “I saw the doc the other day and she said I’m healing well. Things looked better than expected. So basically my only issue is the blurry vision and the migraines.”

  “That must suck.”

  “I keep hoping they’ll go away, Dr. Andrews thought they would but so far they’re hanging on. But how about we talk about you instead.” Why did this feel so awkward? He was fine when they went for coffee. Maybe it was because it was dinner—a real date—at least in his mind. The setting sun reflected on the water and colored her skin a soft pink. He wanted to look in to her eyes—the windows to the soul—so he could read her like he always read his men. Maybe that was the problem. Without being able to really “see” her, he didn’t know what she was thinking.

  “Umm okay, what do you want to know?”

  “What made you open a bookstore?” He’d start safe then hopefully she’d open up and not disappear inside herself like usual.

  “Julie and I always loved to read and share books, and when my dad died he left me some money and we took a shot. It does pretty well but we’d hoped to expand it into a little café too. You know, serving coffee, tea, pastries, stuff like that. One of these days hopefully.”

  “I’m sure it will be a great success.” Oh man, I really do sound like a dumb fucker. “What do you like to read most?”

  “Espionage, mysteries, sci-fi, and thanks to Julie, some romance too. I never read romance until she made me.” When she laughed her whole body language relaxed. The wind picked up a little and a few strands of her hair blew across her face. Mac wanted to reach across the table and push them behind her ear. He wondered what she’d do. So far they hadn’t had anything physical between them. His body had been demanding more. He’d go to bed thinking about her and wake up with huge morning wood. He’d have to shit or get off the pot soon, jerking off in the shower had lost its appeal ages ago.

  “I miss reading, but I love telling stories to the kids. They sit so quietly, all their little faces focused on me, and it introduced me to you and Dani too. A huge bonus.” He’d swear on a stack of bibles she blushed.

  “You’ve been so much help with Dani, she loves your stories. I think you’ve helped her more than her therapist. She opens up to you.”

  “I’ve always been good at getting people to talk to me. My mother used to say it was a gift. I don’t really believe all that crap, but it sure did help on patrol.”

  “I bet. Is she still alive?”

  “Who, my mother?” At her nod he continued. “No, they’ve both been gone for a long time. Hell. Before I went into the service, probably why I went in actually and definitely why I stayed in. It was the best place for me, and I had no reason to come home.”

  “That’s sad.”

  “Nah. It gave me goals and focus.”

  “And the desire to order people around?”

  “Nope, that I’ve always had.” Mac laughed. Finally they both seemed to relax. He’d bet it was due mostly to the alcohol.

  “What are you going to do now?”

  “I’m hoping to go back on active duty, but we’ll see. They may not let me. I figure I’ll have to wait for the all clear to find out.”

  “Oh I see. How many times have you been deployed?”

  “I went in right after college. I’ve spent most of my time deployed if that’s what you’re asking. Eight years at least of my twelve in service.”

  “My ex had three tours, the third one pretty much finished him for life.”

  “I’m really sorry. I don’t want you to think you can’t talk to me about him. You can tell me anything but I don’t want to make you sad.”

  “I was just thinking how much we’d miss you if you went away. I mean Dani of course.”

  “Right, uhh, just Dani? You wouldn’t miss me?” The sun set and there were only candles and the deck lights leaving it too dark to tell for sure if she was blushing or not. But she squirmed in her seat and looked at her plate.

  “Maybe a little,” she answered and flashed him a beautiful white smile.

  Finally, some headway. “Good because I’d miss you both. Hell, I’ve been trying not to spook you for weeks. I want to be more than friends, Beth. To see where this can go between us, I thought for sure you’d see I care about you.” Cursing his blurry vision for keeping her expression hidden, he had to wait for her to say something, anything. He gambled, now he had to wait to see how his hand played out.

  At first nothing, and he fought the urge to wipe his sweaty palms on his slacks, instead he took a swig of his drink. This time he picked the right glass at least.

  “I like you too, Mac, a lot. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it. But I’m just not sure how things are going to be with Dani when she gets home. I’m not sure how much time I’ll have.”

  “You can’t tie your life to her either, you know that, right? She’s twelve going on twenty. Once she realizes her friends will be there for her, she’ll be fine. Besides, I like being around her, so I have no problem hanging out with you at home if that’s what it takes. Just don’t shut me out.”

  She’d turned her head and was looking out at the ocean. The breeze carried a few strands of her auburn hair across her cheek. Once again he fought the urge to reach out and tuck them behind her ear.

  “Okay, I can’t make any promises but I’ll try. It’s been only Dani and me for a long time.”

  “Baby, that’s all I ask.” Relief crept through his body and the tension in his shoulders eased as he leaned back in his chair. He didn’t even realize he’d been sitting forward and practically holding his breath waiting for her answer. Damn he had it bad.

  The waitress appeared and asked about dessert. Mac wanted what wasn’t on the menu, a taste of the woman sitting across from him. He’d been dreaming about her, how she’d feel in his arms, what she’d look like as he peeled the clothes off her body, what she’d taste like. Squirming to adjust his suddenly too tight pants he ordered coffee, and she ordered the same.

  The next hurdle was how to handle the rest of the evening. She drove since he still couldn’t. Would she take him back to his apartment or could he get her to take him to her house. No wonder he had no confidence, he felt like a fifteen-year-old on his first date waiting for his dad to pick him up and take them home from the dance. This fucking sucked donkey balls.

  “Have you decided what you’re going to do about Dani and school?”

  “Yeah. I spoke to her teachers and the principle. I’m going to homeschool her for the summer so she can catch up what she missed. Then she can start eighth grade in August with the rest of her friends. I’m hoping it will be enough time to get her used to her body again and be fully healed.”

  “Sounds great. But how are you going to do that and work at the bookstore?”

  “That’s the problem. I can give her the assignments but I would need to leave her home and trust she’ll do them and be okay. Or bring her to the store and hope she can concentrate.”

  “How about I homeschool her? It’s a standard curriculum right? I mean are there guidelines or something to follow?”

  “Ahh yeah, but I wouldn’t want you to be stuck helping.”

  “Trust me I’d love it. It will give me something to do besides telling stories all day. If you don’t want
me hanging at your house you can always drop her with me. We even have a pool at our complex so she could swim and hang out with me.”

  “Wow, you’re amazing you know that? You barely know us, and you’re willing to do this for me…us?”

  “Beth, didn’t you hear me. I’m falling for you. I could tell you otherwise but I like to just tell it like it is. I want to spend as much time with you and Dani as possible.” As she shrugged her shoulders, he cursed under his breath. She didn’t really believe his feelings for her. Why should she, he hadn’t mentioned them, or even tried to kiss her. He’d been afraid he’d push her away, scare her, or totally fuck it up. What if he missed her mouth? How fucking humiliating would that be? Instead he’d kissed her a million times in his dreams. Tonight he’d show her just how much he wanted her.

  The waitress returned with the bill and he pulled out his credit card. “Umm I can’t see the lines, can you help me?”

  Beth took the pen. “How much tip?”

  “Twenty percent please.”

  “That’s what I leave too.” He watched her hand as she filled in the receipt. Then she showed him where he needed to sign. “Thank you for dinner, Mac. I had a really great time.”

  Putting the card back in his wallet, he stood to hold her chair for her. “I hope you’re not ready for the evening to end?” Entwining her fingers with his, they went out to her car.

  “What did you have in mind?” Hell yeah, he couldn’t have asked for a better opening. They were at her car and as she leaned back to look at him, he moved closer, his arms learning on both sides of her as he pinned her to the car. Without answering, he sighed as his lips found hers. He’d waited so long for this, he was almost shaking. His first taste told him she was more than he’d hoped. Warm, soft, and tasting of coffee as she parted her lips, letting him inside.