A Soldier's Gift

by Lynne St. James

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’ve been having nightmares about not being able to save the guys and I keep seeing your face stuck in the front of the Humvee trying to drag you out.”

  “That doesn’t make sense. You got me out, hell, if you hadn’t I’d be six feet under. FUBAR’d. Maybe you need to talk to someone, bro. There’s a reason they have go to counseling, right?”

  “Maybe, I dunno. I don’t have PTSD. I’m fine during the day it’s just the nightmares. I figure they’ll fade in time, right? So what’s up with you? You’re bitchy.”

  “Nuthin’, I’m fine.”

  “Right. I don’t believe you, fuck you can’t even look me in the face when you say it.”

  “I’m telling you I’m fine. Fuckin’ leave it alone, okay?”

  “Whatever, dude. Is it Julie?”

  “Mac, for Christ’s sake fuckin’ drop it will ya.” Okay something was fucking going on with his friend, he didn’t know what, but he was going to find out. Maybe not from Tag but he’d figure it out. He’d seen and heard too many of their friends go down this route and he wasn’t going to let it happen to Tag.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The lightness that settled over Beth when Mac’s eyes opened slowly evaporated over the course of the drive home. Dani’s excited chatter followed by yawns and her soft snores gave her time to think. Now he could see, would he go on active duty, be deployed overseas and leave them? She’d made the promise to tell him she loved him, but she didn’t find the right moment. Not in front of Dani at least.

  Waking Dani, she half carried her into the house and up the stairs to bed. All the excitement wore her out. Poor kid, she’d been through the wringer. At least now Mac would be discharged from the hospital, life could get back to normal. Hopefully there’d be no more hospitals for a long, long time. Beth spent more than her fair share inside them this year.

  After she got Dani settled in bed, she let Bo outside to take care of his business and poured a glass of red wine. Holding the glass up to the light, she was surprised to see how similar it was to the color of the heart shaped garnet she still had around her neck. It was an odd coincidence having Mrs. Middleton bring the presents today and Mac wake up later. But to think it was other than a coincidence was too strange. Beth believed in reality, the here and now. Life gave you what you put into it. She’d had to be strong most of her life and it was a matter of habit now more than anything she thought about—her way of life. No reason to cry over what was lost, instead she tried to teach Dani to focus on what she really wanted and go for it. She hoped the lesson would help when she had to deal with going back to school and the possibility of Mac leaving them.

  A scratch at the sliding door made her look up. Bo watched her with knowing eyes, and his tongue half hanging out of his mouth. “Hey, boy. How you doing?” Rubbing the poodle behind his ears and giving him a hug, she took the wine and sat in the living room.

  It was late but she wasn’t ready for bed. The wine slid down her throat and warmed a path to her stomach. Picking up the pendant, she examined it in the light. It was a large stone but still managed to look delicate with the silver filigree wrapped around the edges. It had to be expensive and she’d hated to take it from Mrs. Middleton. There was no reason for the woman to give them expensive gifts. They’d have to write her thank you notes tomorrow.

  The wine relaxed the thoughts in Beth’s head and she went upstairs and climbed into bed. Bo followed her and she wondered briefly if she’d find Dani in bed with them when she woke up in the morning.

  The alarm pulled her from a dream about Mac, and the bright sunshine streaming through her bedroom window brought a smile to her face. A cloudless blue sky awaited them at least until later. Florida sunshine and heat brought Florida thunderstorms in the late afternoon or early evening and, if the heat coming through the glass was any indication, it would be a hot one.

  Getting Dani up, she went downstairs and made a pot of coffee. She’d been half surprised when she hadn’t been in bed with Beth. Either she was too exhausted to move or talking with Mac stopped the need. The thought made Beth itch a little. Dani was so attached to Mac. She didn’t want to see her hurt anymore, but was there anything she could do about it either? Mac was entitled to live the life he wanted. He didn’t owe them anything even if he could see because of Doug’s corneas.

  She’d found out by accident from Dr. Andrews. He thought she already knew since she was so devoted to Mac. Beth wondered if maybe the doctor thought her feelings were transference from her husband, but she’d been closer to hate than love for the last few years. She’d been happy to know part of Doug helped Mac. From the stories Tag told, he was a good man and deserved a second chance.

  Hearing Dani on the stairs, she called to her. “Hey, bug, grab the box of thank you notes from the desk please.”

  “Okay.” When she walked into the kitchen a minute later she dropped the box on the table. “What do you need them for?”

  “I think we should write thank you cards to Mrs. Middleton for the gifts.”

  “Good idea. I can work on mine while we’re at the bookstore.”

  Beth smiled behind her coffee mug. Dani really was growing up. She had to look hard to see the little two-year-old who got into everything, and smiled remembering coming home to plastic containers all over the kitchen floor every day.

  “What are you smiling at?”

  “You.”

  “What did I do now?”

  “Nothing. Just thinking about when you’d get all the plastic containers out of the cabinets every day, so I’d come home to a sea of bowls and lids.”

  “Oh yeah. I sort of remember. Dad used to get so mad.”

  “Because he didn’t want to hear me yell about not picking them up.” She laughed. It’d been a while since she’d shared her life with anyone but Dani, how difficult would it be to adapt? Could they work it out? Giving herself a mental shake, Mac never mentioned anything about a forever, only about going back on active duty. She needed to stop the daydreaming and planning, chances were it was all a waste of time.

  They arrived at the hospital just as Dr. Andrews was making his morning rounds. “How’s the patient this morning?”

  “The lieutenant is doing well. Other than some muscle weakness from being in bed so long, he seems just fine.”

  “Mom, can I go see Mac please?”

  “Yes go ahead. I’ll be right there.” Shaking her head, she apologized to Dr. Andrews for the interruption.

  “No problem. It’s nice to see her happy.”

  “Yes it is. Do you have any idea when Mac will be discharged?”

  “Probably tomorrow. He has to exercise but he says he has a pool and he’s promised to use it.”

  “I’m sure Dani will make sure too,” Beth said as she laughed. “The kid is a fish, and she likes Mac’s pool because during the day it’s empty so no one comments on her scars.” Hmm, would she be self-conscious around Mac now that he could really see her?

  “I saw the ones on her arms. From the accident?”

  “Yes, but she’s come a long way. At first she wouldn’t have gone anywhere if they were showing. I really hope they fade and she can enjoy a normal life.”

  “Not surprising, and I’m sure she’ll be fine. From what Mac says you’re an excellent mother.”

  “Mac said that? Really? Wow. Thank you. Well I’d better get down there before she drives him crazy. Thank you, again.”

  “You’re welcome, Mrs. Fraser. Stay in touch.” He was gone before she answered, and it seemed like a strange request. Who keeps in touch with their ex’s doctor?

  Hurrying down the hall, she heard Dani’s excited chatter before she got into the room. As she stood in the doorway watching her daughter and Mac interact a feeling of home washed over her. It seemed right, like it was meant to be.

  “Good morning. How are you feeling today?”

  Mac looked up from the tablet he was looking at with Dani, and flashed her a b
right smile. “Good morning, gorgeous. What took you so long?”

  “Oh I was flirting with the doctors. Got to keep all my options open you know.”

  “Uh huh. I guess so. If you think you need to.” Hmmm. Was she reading too much into his response?

  “Well you just never know.” Dani caught her sticking her tongue out and giggled.

  “Mom, you’re not supposed to do that. It’s not polite.”

  “Yeah, Mom,” Mac echoed. Of course that made Beth do it again, this time to both of them. They were all laughing when the nurse brought in Mac’s breakfast tray.

  Dani’s eyes got huge when she saw all the food on his tray. “Are you going to eat all that?”

  “Probably. I’m starving, and this isn’t all that much.”

  “No way. It’s tons of food. You’re gonna get fat.” Said like the typical twelve-year-old. She had no idea how much grown men ate.

  “Seriously, yes and it’s not that much. You forget how much bigger I am than you.”

  “True but still holy crap.” She winced and looked at Beth. It was still debatable whether or not she’d get away with it. Beth let it go, too happy this morning to worry, her doubts from last night had left with the night.

  “I saw Dr. Andrews in the hallway. He said you’re probably being discharged tomorrow. That’s great.”

  “Yay! Can you come over for fireworks then?” Dani practically bounced with excitement and gazed at Mac with hopeful eyes. Beth shook her head. Poor guy didn’t have a chance.

  “Mac might not be up to fireworks yet.”

  “Oh yeah.”

  “I’ll try, how’s that? I’m not sure what my ‘instructions’ will be from the doc yet. But if I have the all clear I’ll be there. Deal?”

  “Yes!” Fist pump and all. Yeah her daughter was smitten, at least it wasn’t a crush, or maybe it was, just not as a boyfriend.

  Beth mouthed the words ‘sorry’ to Mac and he shrugged. She was excited about it too, they had a yearly tradition with Julie celebrating with a BBQ and fireworks, relaxing at home. This year would be even better if Mac was there too. She’d already invited Julie and Tag, but Tag wasn’t sure he’d be able to come.

  “I think we need to let Mac eat his breakfast before it gets cold and I have to get to the shop. We can stop by later. Let me know if you need me to bring anything.”

  “Thanks, although Tag was here last night and he’ll be bringing me some stuff today.”

  “That’s great.”

  “Don’t forget to think about coming over for Independence Day, Mac. Okay?”

  “I promise.” Dani jumped up on the side of the bed and gave him a quick hug then headed out the door. Beth leaned over and was going to kiss his cheek but he turned his head and took possession of her lips in a scorching kiss. Breathless as she pulled away, the heat in her cheeks told her she was red as a beet. Wow just wow.

  “Alright then,” she said as she tried to catch her breath. “What was, umm, yeah. Okay, we’ll see you later.” His laughter followed her down the hallway.

  Chapter Twenty

  Dani insisted on decorating the house for the Fourth of July, but Beth thought it was more because Mac was coming. They had this BBQ every year and never decorated before. This year Mac, Julie, and Tag would be coming, at least she crossed her fingers Tag wouldn’t let Julie down.

  There were balloons and streamers all over the living room and tiki torches on the patio. The picnic table was set with red, white, and blue paper plates and plastic ware and she’d been cooking every day after work to get ready. They would do hamburgers and hotdogs on the grill but she had a pork tenderloin in the crockpot for pulled pork too. For dessert, there would be brownies and a red, white, and blue cake and ice cream. Julie was bringing the beer and she had stuff to make margaritas and some other drinks. It looked like they had everything covered.

  Mac hadn’t been real chatty after he’d been discharged from the hospital, and she hadn’t seen him at all. She hoped it was just him trying to figure out what he wanted and getting his life back together. It had to be rough being asleep for a month. He texted last night and they chatted a bit before bed but it was the first time and only time since he’d been discharged from the hospital. Because of that, Beth didn’t know how to handle today. Was he coming just because Dani begged him, or because he wanted to see her too?

  The kiss at the hospital still burned her lips when she thought about it. It seared her heart and her panties were soaked when she got back to the bookstore. Talk about being uncomfortable all day. But not seeing him until today, what was up with that? Poor Julie too, she was getting it from Beth about Mac and Tag was giving her grief too. She deserved better, and Beth was trying to decide whether to have a talk with him today if he showed up. Julie wouldn’t be happy but she couldn’t stand seeing her best friend being treated like crap.

  “Mom, they’re here,” Dani called from the living room, where she’d been watching out the window. Beth grinned. At least she’d convinced her to invite Hannah too. It was a good thing. Especially since Dani was in shorts and a tank top and her scars were visible. Plenty of sunscreen had been applied, but Hannah would have her first look. Beth prayed there wouldn’t be trouble.

  Placing the last of the hamburgers in the fridge, Beth followed the voices into the living room. Dani was practically bouncing up and down. Mac, Julie, and Tag were here, and Hannah’s mom’s car pulled up just as they were coming into the house. Hannah ran up to Dani and gave her a hug almost knocking her down with her backpack. She’d be sleeping over too. Teenage girls. At least Hannah should take a little of the pressure off Mac.

  Hugging Julie and Tag, Beth turned to Mac. “Hi. How are you doing?”

  Instead of answering her, he pulled her into his arms and sucked the breath out of her. His mouth didn’t just slide over hers it possessed her, and his tongue slid between her lips. When he finally released her everyone was clapping. Holy shit.

  “Hi, babe.” A twinkle in his eye warned her he was up to something. But hell, he could come over any time if he was going to kiss her like that. She wondered if he’d felt her shiver of desire as his tongue took over her mouth. She pressed her fingers over her lips and was surprised they weren’t burning.

  “I guess you’re ready for some fireworks, huh?”

  “You know it.” He laughed. “Can I help with anything?”

  “Nope not yet. I figure you and Tag can run the BBQ, everything else is ready.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “Where do you want us to put the beer?” Julie asked as she and Tag still held the bags. Crap, she’d completely forgotten everyone else, just how scatterbrained did he make her?

  “Oh shit, I’m sorry. C’mon, we’ll put them in the kitchen. I made room so we wouldn’t have to go up and down the stairs all night.”

  “Good plan. I swear last year I almost killed myself.”

  The two women laughed as they went into the kitchen, the memory still making their sides hurt. They might have had a little too much to drink after Dani went to bed.

  “I don’t remember that, Mom.”

  “You were in bed already.”

  “Oh.”

  “Why don’t you take Hannah up to your room or outside? I have soda in the cooler too.”

  “Okay.”

  “What’s the menu? Julie swears you throw an amazing party.”

  “I dunno about that, but we’ve always had fun. I have potato and macaroni salad, hamburgers, hotdogs, baked beans, and pulled pork. Then we have brownies and red, white, and blue cake for dessert.”

  “I’m starving already.” It was the first thing Tag said since he’d arrived. He looked tired like he hadn’t been sleeping. Maybe he was part of the reason Mac had been home. She exchanged glances with Julie who just shrugged.

  “We can eat anytime or all the time,” Beth said with a laugh. “I’ve got enough to feed us for a week I think. Although I have seen the way Mac eats so maybe only two days.” />
  Mac and Tag laughed. It was a great sound, their deep voices echoing around her kitchen. It made the house feel whole. Weird, she’d never missed the sound of a man in her house before. Since they were hungry already, she went to grab the salads. As she bent over the heart necklace swung forward and almost ended up in the potato salad.

  Saved by the soldier, she giggled to herself. He grabbed it right before it went in the bowl. “Good save, Lieutenant.”

  “I live to serve, ma’am.” He winked and took the bowl of salad from her. “Where do you want this?”

  “Do you want to eat in or out?” Mac waggled his brows at her and she wondered if the A/C was working because she was feeling really warm all of a sudden.

  “It’s fuckin’ hot, how about in,” Tag replied, then looked around. “Sorry. I forgot there are kids here.”

  “It’s okay, it’s nothing she hasn’t heard, I just try to keep it to a minimum.”

  “Gotcha.”

  They got out the rest of the stuff, popped a few beers, and sat around the dining room chatting.

  “So what have you been up to?”

  “Who me?” Mac asked with an innocent look.

  “Yeah you.”

  “A lot of freaking swimming for one. Then I had a few meetings to take care of and I bought a car. That was liberating I tell you.”

  “I bet.” Beth wondered about the meetings but didn’t feel it was her place to ask. If he wanted to share he would, right?

  “We were busy in the bookstore, all the vacationers found us. It’s been great for business. Right, Julie?”

  “Uh yeah.” She’d been nursing her beer and looking dejected. So un-Julie-like. If this didn’t change soon she was going to kick some Tag ass. As if he’d heard her he reached over and rested his hand over hers, and Julie’s face lit up like the sun. Now that was more like it.

  “Tag and I are going out of town for about a week next week.”

  “Oh yeah?” Beth hoped she kept the surprise and disappointment off her face. “For fun?”