Not Mine to Give

by Laura Landon

  Malcolm stopped too. A soft whimper, barely audible, seeped into the silence in the chapel. Duncan quietly listened. They heard it again. A soft, muffled moan from somewhere near, yet far away.

  Every muscle in Duncan’s body tightened in alarm. He moved around the railing toward the altar and the whimpers coming from somewhere behind it. A cold, uncomfortable sweat covered his body. Stabs of deadly fear prickled the hairs on the back of his neck.

  He heard it again. With Malcolm at his side, Duncan ran to a small storage chamber behind the altar. “Blessed mother, nay,” he whispered as he removed the square cut of wood that barricaded the small opening from the outside. “Do na let her be in here. Dear God, nay! She fears small, dark places.” Duncan pulled open the door and Kate’s pathetic whimper assaulted his senses.

  “Bring torches!” he bellowed, and at almost that same instant, Malcolm held up a bright light. Duncan didn’t have to enter the tiny room to find her. Kate had her arms clutched around her knees. Her trembling body was curled into a tight ball before the door. Her chest heaved with each low demented moan while her eyes darted wild with fear. Being locked in the small, enclosed darkness had almost driven her to the point of madness.

  He reached for her and lifted her up in his arms. She wound her arms around his neck with strength that defied her small frame. “’Tis all right, Kate. You are safe now.”

  Duncan carried her out of the chapel, past the small group of Fergusons crowded in the hallway. Someone gave him a cover and he wrapped her in it to keep her warm. The men and women parted as he walked past. He read the confusion on their faces.

  On everyone’s face except for Regan’s.

  Regan leaned against the stone wall with her hands crossed over her chest and watched as he left the chapel. She raised her eyebrows when he passed, and smiled. The amused look on her face sent a shiver down his spine. Their gazes locked, and Duncan paused. “Leave my keep, Regan. You will na come near my wife until I return from England.”

  Regan shrugged her shoulders and pushed herself away from the wall. She swaggered down the hall as if she didn’t fear him. Duncan gritted his teeth. God help her if she had done this to Kate.

  “Malcolm,” he ordered. “Send someone for Angus, and have everyone return to their beds. Then come back to me.”

  “Aye, Duncan.”

  He carried Kate into their chamber and sat with her on the edge of the bed. He couldn’t have pried her arms from around his body if he’d tried.

  He pushed the hair from her face, then held her close. Eyes filled with wild terror stared out at nothing and he stroked her flesh with his hands while she trembled in fear. “Kate?” he asked when her breathing had calmed some.

  He slowly eased her arms from around him, releasing her death grip. He stared at the blood still smeared at the ends of her fingers from where she had clawed at the door to get out.

  “Kate? What happened? Who locked you in the room behind the altar?”

  She stiffened against him and refused to answer. A small part of him did not want to hear her answer.

  “Did you go there to get something?”

  She shook her head then buried her face harder against him. He cupped the back of her head to hold her close, but her soft moan of pain stopped him. He eased his grip and felt the lump there. “How did you get this?”

  She closed her eyes and frowned as if the knot on her head slowed her ability to think. “I must have fallen,” she muttered with a great deal of effort.

  “Do na lie to me, Kate.”

  “Leave it be, Duncan. It doesn’t matter.” She tried to push away from him, but he would not release her.

  “I’m tired, Duncan. I’d like to sleep now.”

  She fell against his chest and he pulled her away to hold her straight. “You will na fall asleep until Angus looks at you. It is na wise to—”

  “Duncan.”

  “Aye.”

  “I think it would be wise to let me up. I don’t feel so well. I think I am going to be ill.”

  Duncan stopped his lecture and handed Kate a pail just in time. By the time Angus arrived, he had her in bed and a little of the color had come back to her face.

  “Drink this, milady,” Angus said, handing Kate a cup. “It will soothe your stomach.”

  “Thank you, Angus. I feel much better now.”

  “Feel her head, Angus,” Duncan ordered. “There’s a lump as big as my fist at the back.”

  “It’s a very small lump, Angus,” Katherine contradicted, as Angus lifted her hair to feel her head.

  Angus smiled and Duncan frowned. He did not appreciate Angus’ humor.

  “It’s not as big as your fist, laird, but neither is it very small, milady. Just big enough for you to stay in bed on the morrow.”

  Duncan nodded his approval. “Angus. Stay with Kate for a moment. I need to speak with Malcolm.”

  Duncan closed the door behind him as he and Malcolm left the room. “Find Gregor. He will stay here to guard Kate while we’re gone. Have him choose what men he’ll need, but I do na want my wife alone for a moment. Not even when she sleeps. Her maid will sleep in the room with her, and a guard will sleep outside her door each night. Someone will be at her side every minute of the day.”

  A frown covered Malcolm’s face. “You think someone tried to hurt the mistress?”

  “I do na think she locked herself in that small room, and I do na think the lump on her head was caused by any fall. Tell Gregor to guard her closely. I do na want anything to happen while we’re gone.”

  When Malcolm went to find Gregor, Duncan went back to be with Kate. He couldn’t believe that someone would want to harm her. That someone could hate her so much they would dare to raise a finger against her.

  No one other than Regan.

  Chapter 11

  “Do you have all the salves and potions you’ll need, Angus?”

  Katherine looked into the early morning sky and tucked her hands into the folds of the heavy woolen shawl around her shoulders. Duncan was leaving to get Brenna. She looked at the huge army gathered around him and a shiver ran down her spine.

  “Aye,” Angus answered. “See here?” He opened his sack and showed Katherine the various containers. “Stonecrop, to take care of the wounds. Sorrel for bruises and a fever. Lady’s mantle for bleeding.”

  Angus patted his sack and recited the names of a dozen more powders and salves he had with him. The names were more familiar to her now, but she was so nervous she doubted she would remember much today.

  “Keep him safe, Angus,” she whispered. She watched Duncan give last minute instructions to Gregor, then check his horse and armor a final time.

  “I will, milady. With Malcolm watching his back and me at his side, nothing will happen.”

  “Kate.”

  Duncan’s voice echoed in the crisp, pre-dawn air and Katherine walked over to where he stood. He tipped her head up with his finger and stared into her eyes. “I want your word that you will na try to leave the keep for anything.”

  She nodded.

  “Answer me, lass.”

  “Yes, Duncan.”

  “And you’ll do whatever Gregor tells you without question. Understand?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you sure you are well?”

  “Yes. I stayed abed all day yesterday and now I’m fine.”

  Katherine looked into Duncan’s face. He’d taken her again last night. She loved the feel of his muscled flesh against her own. She loved the feel of his naked body atop her. Her cheeks warmed as she remembered the hours they’d spent in each others’ arms.

  “I’ll be home before long with Brenna.” Duncan studied her face as if he wanted to memorize her features before he left.

  “And Bolton will be dead?”

  “Aye. Bolton will be dead, and there will be nothing for you to fear.”

  “Except my father and my king.”

  “He is na longer your king.”

  “And my fa
ther?”

  “Aye, lass. He will always be your father, but you are now my wife. Your first allegiance is to me.”

  “I’ve given you my loyalty as well as my allegiance, husband.”

  “But you have na given me the crown.”

  He could not have hurt her more if he’d slapped her face. “It’s not mine to give.”

  “It is na yours to keep.”

  Katherine closed her eyes and turned her face from him. It was always the crown. The crown always came first.

  “I will have it when I come back. You can na keep it from me or from Scotland.” He gave her a look that demanded her compliance, then mounted his horse.

  She couldn’t let him leave like this. Not when he may never come back to her. Katherine ran to his side and touched his leg. “Stay well, my laird.”

  “I will return leading my men as you have ordered. You have my promise.” He turned his steed toward the drawbridge and crossed the inner bailey with his men behind him.

  Katherine ran up to the battlement and watched after him until the huge army was no bigger than a tiny dot on the horizon. Then they were gone.

  “How touching, English. Do you intend for all who watch to believe the laird’s wife will actually miss her husband while he’s gone?”

  Katherine turned to face the voice. It was Regan.

  “It matters little to me what you think, one way or another, Regan.”

  There was only one set of stairs that led down from the battlement and Katherine turned to make her way past Regan to get to them. She did not want to face her now. Not when Duncan’s words still hurt so much. But the dark-haired beauty took a step to the center of the narrow walkway, blocking her path.

  “Do na get too comfortable here, English. Once Duncan gets the crown, he’ll turn his back and be glad to be rid of you.”

  Katherine refused to let Regan’s words affect her. She lifted her chin and stared back. “And you think he will come to your bed?” Katherine couldn’t help the sarcasm that dripped from her voice. She and Regan were no better than two sharp-clawed cats fighting over the same piece of meat.

  “I do na think he will, English. I am sure of it. Duncan will never be happy with you. All he need do is look at the graves of his family and he’ll remember why he can never love you.”

  Regan took one menacing step closer, and Katherine looked for a way to escape. There was none.

  “Regan!”’

  Katherine and Regan both looked down from the battlement to find the low voice that had bellowed Regan’s name. It had been a warning and Regan glared at Gregor’s battle ready stance.

  “You’ve detained your mistress long enough.”

  Regan gave Katherine a scathing look that sent shivers down her spine then stepped to the side to let Katherine pass. “I would be careful if I were you, milady. A fall from so high could be dangerous.”

  Katherine braced her shoulders and answered her glare. “I would be equally careful if I were you, Regan. Threats made against your laird’s wife from any height could be dangerous.”

  Katherine stepped past her and walked down the steep steps to the ground. Her legs trembled with every step.

  For the second time since she had come to Lochmore, she was truly afraid.

  …

  Katherine stood on the sentry walkway high on the rampart wall and watched the band of Ferguson warriors make their way over the horizon. Duncan was coming home.

  A sennight and three days he’d been gone, and she had tried unsuccessfully three times to escape long enough to get the crown. She had gotten no farther than the front door of the keep.

  If Gregor was not there to stop her, one of his many spies was. Morgana had even moved her bed into Katherine’s chamber and slept in the same room with her. She’d searched all but the one locked room on the second level at least a half dozen times. She couldn’t find a secret passage that led beyond the walls.

  Katherine pulled her plaid closer around her shoulders and watched from the battlement to catch her first glimpse of him.

  “They’ll be here within the hour, milady.”

  Gregor’s soft voice whispered behind her and Katherine looked into the distance to watch them approach. She’d told herself she wouldn’t miss him, but she had. She’d missed his gruff voice and his harsh words, and his struggle to deny that he wanted her. “Can you see him, Gregor?”

  “Aye. That’s his big black horse in front. Just as he promised, the laird is leading the way. Malcolm’s bay is to his right and Angus’ roan is on his left.”

  “Where is the Lady Brenna? Can you see her?”

  Gregor didn’t answer at first and Katherine watched with him as he studied the procession.

  “I am na sure, milady. I canna see her horse.”

  A wave of fear smothered the breath in her chest. “Is she riding with someone, Gregor? Do you think she’s hurt?”

  “I do na know, milady. They are na close enough for me to see her.”

  Katherine turned, then headed for the stairs. She refused to believe that Duncan had not been able to rescue his sister. She refused to think that Bolton may have killed Brenna without waiting for the crown. “We must make sure her room is ready and that there is plenty of food and ale for the men. They’re probably tired and hungry and …”

  Katherine didn’t take time to finish her sentence as she ran down the stairs and across the inner bailey. Everyone within the castle walls had heard the news that their laird was coming home and the buzz of activity was frantic.

  “Margaret. Anna,” Katherine yelled as they passed the kitchen. “Make sure there’s plenty of food and ale for the men. Have you any meat pies made up?”

  “Aye, mistress,” Margaret yelled, wiping the flour from her hands on her apron. “Anna said just this morning she thought we would need extra food. She said she had a feeling when she arose that this was the day the laird would come home with Lady Brenna. How she knew it, I do na know, but she was right.”

  “Yes. The laird is coming,” Katherine said as if to reassure herself it was true. A giddy feeling of expectation surged through her chest. She ran to the keep and up the stairs to her chamber, then to the chamber she had prepared for Brenna.

  “Morgana. Have hot water brought up for a bath. The master and Lady Brenna will want to bathe as soon as they arrive.”

  “Aye, milady.” Morgana ran to have the water sent up. There was always a contented smile on Morgana’s face, but today she beamed even brighter than usual.

  Katherine then ran to each room to make sure a fire blazed in each hearth.

  “They’ve crossed the drawbridge, milady,” Gregor yelled up at her. Katherine ran down the stairs and across the entryway, dodging servants who were scurrying to make ready for the men.

  She stood on the top step of the keep where she could see the warriors as they approached. Duncan had kept his promise. He was in the lead, with Angus on his left. Malcolm was on his right with the Lady Brenna cradled in his arms.

  She was safe. Everything would be all right.

  Katherine looked at the riders. They were still a fair distance from her when the first unexpected niggling of concern rushed through her. Her eyes riveted on Duncan and she saw that he sought her out in the same way. She wasn’t sure what she expected to see in his gaze, but what she saw alarmed her.

  The horses and riders closed the space separating them. Katherine’s gaze rested on the small form nestled in Malcolm’s arms. Brenna stared blankly ahead, seeing and reacting to nothing.

  Katherine shifted her gaze to Malcolm. He was close enough now for Katherine to see him breathe a huge sigh then look over at Duncan in the protective way he had about him.

  All was not right.

  Next she looked at Angus. The look on his face was serious, worrisome. Her heart jumped to her throat in warning. Angus had his head turned to his laird, watching for…

  Katherine looked at Gregor standing beside her and noticed the frown that covered his face. S
he took one step toward her husband then another, then almost ran the last few feet.

  His coloring was pale and there was a sheen of perspiration that covered his face, but it was the look in his eyes that frightened her most. The wild look of unrelenting pain.

  “I have come back to you, Kate, as I promised.”

  “As you promised, husband.” Katherine moved closer to him. His eyes closed and he swayed above her on the horse.

  “Duncan!”

  Katherine reached for him as he leaned and fell to the ground. Gregor was at her side as was Angus, and three or four more Ferguson clansmen she could not name. They lowered their laird, then each of them took a hold and carried him up the steps to their chamber.

  Angus bellowed orders but Katherine did not listen to what he said. She focused on Duncan’s face, then moved her gaze to the circle of blood at his middle growing larger with each step they took.

  The men lay their laird on the bed and stepped back and out of the room. All except Malcolm and Angus. Katherine moved to one side and placed her hand on Duncan’s forehead while Angus and Malcolm moved to the other and removed his clothes. Duncan’s face burned with fever.

  Katherine brushed a strand of errant hair from his forehead and touched his cheek. “He’s badly hurt, Angus.”

  “Aye, milady. Prepare yourself to be strong if you are going to be any help to me.”

  Angus pulled open Duncan’s shirt, then cut away the blood soaked bandage around his middle. When he exposed the gaping, gnarled flesh, Katherine let out a muffled cry and swallowed fast to keep the little she had eaten in her stomach.

  “Take deep breaths, milady, and steady yourself. I have na time for your weak stomach. We must work fast to stop the bleeding or your husband will die.”

  Katherine reached down to rinse a cloth in a pan of water one of the servants had placed beside the bed and handed it to Angus.

  “You must wash the dirt and the blood from his wound, milady.”

  Her heart leaped to her throat. She was not sure she could touch the raw flesh standing open.

  “Wash him or watch him die!” Angus roared.

  Malcolm held Duncan’s shoulders while Katherine touched his skin with her cloth and began to clean the wound.