Jana DeLeon - Miss Fortune 05 - Gator Bait

by Jana DeLeon

  “Normal people, maybe, but regardless of agency, they wouldn’t be in the field unless they were investigators.”

  “Government investigators. They’re wearing sunglasses inside. How much of me could they have possibly zeroed in on in the half second they looked my direction? Besides, I’ll put on a disguise.”

  Before I could protest, she slipped into the supply room. I looked back at Carter’s room and Ida Belle poked her head out. “What the hell’s the holdup?” she asked.

  “I don’t think you want to know.”

  “Well, hurry up.” She ducked back into the room, leaving the door open a crack.

  I reached for the handle and as I started to pull it open, the supply room door opened and Gertie came out. I froze and did a double take.

  Her rose-print dress was gone and now she was clad in green scrubs, complete with the plastic booties that medical staff wore over their feet for surgery. She had a purple bandanna wrapped around her head and her silver hair stuck out the sides, making her look like a geriatric chicken.

  “What’s with the booties?” I asked.

  “I can’t exactly wear my red pumps. Oh! I almost forgot.” She reached back into the room and stuck a hand in her purse. Then she pulled out a pair of black glasses with the thickest lenses I’d ever seen in my life and slipped them on.

  “You got new glasses! Why don’t you wear them?”

  “How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t need new glasses? I only got these for undercover work.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  She glared at me and I held in a smile. It was like looking at an owl, really close up. She reached into the room once more and pulled out a rolling bucket and mop. Gertie plus a rolling bucket of water brought all kinds of possibilities to mind, and none of them good. “Do you think…”

  “What?”

  “Never mind. Just be careful, and don’t be obvious.”

  I slipped into Carter’s room before Ida Belle poked her head out and stopped Gertie altogether. I didn’t think it was a great plan, but if there was even a 1 percent chance of finding out something that helped us catch whoever had tried to kill Carter, I was willing to roll the dice. Besides, it was Gertie. If things went south, she could always do the fuzzy-headed old lady thing she was so good at.

  Chapter Five

  Carter was propped up in bed and gave me a weak smile as I walked in. Emmaline stood next to his bed, clutching his hand and biting her lower lip as she studied the bruises on his face. I was glad Dr. Stewart had issued a warning. The discoloration didn’t worry me, but I was used to seeing such injuries on others as well as myself. Someone who lacked exposure would automatically assume the injuries were far worse than they were.

  “How are you feeling?” I asked as I stepped next to the bed.

  “Like I got shot twice and almost drowned.” He locked his gaze on mine. “I hear I owe you big.”

  I shook my head. “I did what anyone else would have done.”

  “Not true,” he said, “and even if they’d tried, I doubt many would have been successful.”

  I felt a blush creep up my face. “I just got lucky. I mean, I’m a certified scuba diver, but that doesn’t exactly qualify you for this sort of thing.”

  He reached for my hand and squeezed it. “I’m not sure anything qualifies you for this sort of thing. Thank you.”

  The words were simple, but the depth of emotion in his eyes had my heart beating a little harder and faster. The alternative ending flashed through my mind and I slowly drew in a breath, trying to shift my thoughts from what could have happened to what did.

  “I would say ‘anytime,’” I said, “but I’d really prefer if we didn’t do this again.”

  Emmaline looked up at the ceiling. “Lord, I hope you heard that.”

  “Amen,” Ida Belle said, then glanced at the door. “Where’s Gertie?”

  “She’s, uh…had to make a pit stop,” I said, grasping at the first excuse that might pass muster. “She’ll be along in a minute.”

  Ida Belle frowned and I knew she didn’t believe me for a minute. Then a wrinkle of worry appeared across her brow and I gave her an imperceptible nod. The wrinkle deepened and I could see her lips moving, probably in prayer.

  “Mom says there’s Feds in the waiting room,” Carter said and looked at Ida Belle and me.

  “That’s the general assumption,” I said. “Dr. Stewart stalled them but they’re demanding to see you. What happened yesterday?”

  Carter frowned. “It’s all kind of fuzzy. I remember leaving the dock at the sheriff’s department, and I remember calling for help when the first bullet hit me…” He shook his head. “But I don’t remember anything after that.”

  Emmaline’s brow creased with worry.

  “It’s the concussion,” I said. “In a day or two, it will probably all come back. What were you looking for?”

  “I can’t remember that, either. Damn it!” He banged his hand on the railing and we all jumped. “Sorry.” He gave Emmaline an apologetic look. “Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to know that somewhere in your foggy brain is the answer to why someone tried to kill you and not be able to access it?”

  I glanced over at Ida Belle, who looked even more worried than Emmaline, but for entirely different reasons. I had no doubt Carter would be okay, physically, but the longer Carter’s memory took to return, the more likely the perpetrator would be long gone.

  “Deputy Breaux said when you came in that you said you’d seen something the day before that you wanted to check out,” I said. “That’s why we looked for you near where we had dinner.”

  Carter frowned. “It’s like it’s right there, and just when I think I have hold of it, it’s gone again.”

  Emmaline patted his arm. “It will come, dear. Don’t strain yourself. Those federal agents are here for a reason. Maybe they’ll tell us what’s going on.”

  “Maybe so,” Carter said, but I could tell he was humoring his mother. He knew there was no way Feds were going to give him any information on their investigation. And boy, were they going to be pissed when they found out he didn’t know anything.

  I was about to ask him about the depth of the lake when I heard loud voices outside the room. Ida Belle and I hurried out of the room and saw the Feds arguing with a nurse at the end of the hall. Gertie was about five feet away, mopping one side of the hallway. Ida Belle glanced at her, then the fact that it was Gertie registered with her and she jerked her head back around and uttered a strangled yelp.

  “We’re not waiting one minute more,” the first Fed said and pushed past the nurse.

  A burst of anger ran through me as I saw the nurse stumble backward, and I started down the hallway, but before I made it two steps, Gertie pulled a well, Gertie.

  Fed One approached swiftly and when he got to Gertie, she whipped the mop around, striking him in the shins. It was a hell of a good blow. Fed One went sprawling onto the tile floor. Fed Two, who’d been following right on his tail, tried to put on the brakes, but his shoes slid on the wet floor and he ran straight into the now-prone Fed One. He flailed about, waving his arms as if he were going to attempt flight, but finally lost the battle and fell right on top of Fed One.

  “Oh my!” Gertie dropped her mop back in the bucket, feigning innocence and concern.

  She took a step toward the prone men but while she’d been busy acting, hadn’t noticed that the mop handle had fallen in front of her. She tripped over the mop handle, which wouldn’t have been a disaster if the end of the mop hadn’t been wedged between the side of the bucket and the handle. As she fell, the entire bucket flipped over, sending a wave of dirty mop water over the three of them.

  Ida Belle and I rushed down the hall and pulled Gertie off the two cursing agents. Fed Two jumped up and glared at Gertie. Fed One flailed around in the dirty water for a bit before gaining his footing and finally making it back to a standing position.

  “What the hell are you trying
to do?” Fed One yelled. “Kill people?”

  “Don’t shout at her,” I shot back at him. “She’s just trying to do her job in a place that you don’t even have any right to be, I might add. Are you all right, ma’am?”

  Gertie pulled off her glasses and blinked several times. “I think so.”

  Fed One glared at me and whipped around, grumbling something about the hospital hiring more competent staff as he stalked off toward Carter’s room, Fed Two falling in step right behind.

  The nurse, who’d been staring openmouthed at the entire scene, finally shook herself out of her stupor and focused in on Gertie. “You’re not an employee,” she said.

  “She’s my great-aunt,” I said. “She used to work in a hospital.” I leaned toward the nurse and whispered, “Sometimes she gets confused.”

  The nurse frowned. “But when you spoke to her just now, you sounded like you didn’t know her.”

  “I wasn’t about to let those two know she was with me. They didn’t seem overly friendly.”

  The nurse’s face cleared in understanding. “No, they’re definitely not friendly. I won’t file a report, but do you think you can get your great-aunt out of those scrubs and back into the clothes she was wearing when she came in? There’s liability and all.”

  “Of course.” I put my arm around Gertie’s shoulder and headed for the storeroom to retrieve her clothes and handbag. “Get changed and meet us in the car.”

  Gertie started to protest, but Ida Belle pointed to the bathroom, then tugged on my sleeve. “Hurry or we’ll miss the questions.”

  Ida Belle pushed open the door to Carter’s room just as the dripping Feds stepped up to Carter’s bed.

  “Ma’am,” Fed One said, “we’re going to have to ask you to leave.” He looked back at us. “All of you.”

  Carter gave them both an up-and-down, frowning at their disheveled appearance. When he glanced over at me, I mouthed “Gertie.” His bottom lip quivered, but he managed to hold in the grin I knew was straining to break out.

  “It’s okay,” Carter said and motioned his mother to the door.

  Emmaline wagged her finger at the Feds. “If you boys compromise his condition, you’ll answer to me. And trust me, you don’t want to answer to me.” She gave Carter a kiss on the forehead, then whirled around and followed us into the hallway.

  Gertie popped out of the restroom and drew up short when she saw us all standing there. “What happened?” she asked.

  “They kicked us out,” I said.

  “Crap,” Gertie said. “They didn’t talk in the waiting room, but when they were complaining to the nurse, I heard one of them say ATF.”

  I nudged Ida Belle in the ribs. “Maybe they got wind of Sinful Ladies cough syrup.”

  “I don’t think we’re big enough to draw the attention of the ATF,” Gertie said.

  “She’s joking,” Ida Belle said, and frowned. “They wouldn’t be here unless they think whoever they’re after could have attacked Carter.”

  I nodded. “The question is, who are they after and why did they attack?”

  “Exactly,” Ida Belle said. “They’re not going to be happy when they find out Carter can’t remember anything.”

  Gertie’s eyes widened. “He’s brain damaged?”

  “No!” I said. “It’s probably temporary, but those two goons aren’t going to want to hear that. They’ll be hounding Carter until he remembers.”

  “Over my dead body they will,” Emmaline said.

  I smiled. I really, really liked Carter’s mom.

  The door to Carter’s room flew open and slammed right into Gertie, who grunted. Fed Two stuck his head out. “Who’s behind the door?”

  “No one,” I said. “Just one of those laundry carts.” If he looked behind the door and saw Gertie standing there, the gig was up.

  “Then who made that noise?” he asked.

  Gertie, who was holding in position lest the door open any wider, held up one hand behind the door, middle finger extended.

  “Me,” I said. “You startled me throwing the door open that way.”

  “Whatever,” he said. “You’re the girlfriend, right? Get inside.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “Please?”

  “Please, what?” he asked.

  “Ask me politely, and include the word ‘please.’ I’m a lady, not your employee.”

  I glanced over at Ida Belle, who was giving me a thumbs-up and struggling to hold in a laugh. Playing the Southern belle might not be as horrid as I’d originally thought.

  He blushed and I could tell he was hacked. Finally, he sputtered, “Can you step inside, please?”

  “I can, and you’re in luck. I will.”

  I gave him a smile and stepped inside the room. Then I stopped short and drew in a breath so hard, it made my chest hurt. Thank God, Fed Two was mostly blocking me from view and neither Carter nor Fed One had seen my reaction. Fed One had taken off his sunglasses.

  And I knew him.

  You look completely different. You don’t even recognize yourself.

  I drew in a breath and slowly blew it out. All of that was true, and I’d only worked with the agent briefly, but I wasn’t about to leave anything to chance. Time to turn on the girl charm as I never had before. No way could he confuse a regular girl with the shaved-head, militant assassin he’d worked with before.

  “Miss Morrow?” Fed One—Agent Riker as I knew him—gave me an intense once-over as I stepped up to the bed.

  “Yes?” I replied, struggling not to cringe as he stared. “And you are…?”

  “You can call me Agent Riker. That is Agent Mitchell.”

  “Oh! Secret agents?” I widened my eyes and put one hand over my chest. “I hope I didn’t do anything wrong.”

  Carter stared at me, his brow scrunched. Awesome. If I had Carter confused, that meant my ploy was working.

  “No, ma’am,” Agent Riker said. “I’d just like to get some information from you.”

  “Well, okay, I guess.”

  “I understand you pulled Mr. LeBlanc from the sinking vessel.”

  “Yes, that’s right.”

  He gave me a skeptical look. “That must have been quite an effort.”

  “Oh, well, I’m a librarian.”

  He frowned. “And that qualifies you as a marine recovery specialist?”

  I giggled. Carter’s jaw dropped and he stared at me as if saying “Who are you?”

  “No, of course not,” I said. “It’s just that the library isn’t busy a lot of the time so I read. If I find something that interests me a lot, I take lessons. I read this great book about pirate’s treasure and decided to take diving lessons.”

  “Uh-huh. You had dinner Saturday night with Mr. LeBlanc near the location his boat sank. Is that correct?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did you see anything out of the ordinary?”

  “It was a first date, Agent Riker. I don’t like to see out-of-the-ordinary things until I get to know a man a little better.”

  Carter launched into a coughing fit, covering his mouth with one hand and reaching for a glass of water with the other, but I could tell he was covering a grin.

  Agent Riker’s frustration began to show. “No. That’s not what I meant. I mean did you see anything out of the ordinary in your surroundings.”

  “Well, sure. Hardly anything in Sinful is what I would call normal. There’s alligators and frogs that sound like they’re using amplifiers, the most enormous mosquitoes I’ve ever seen, and none of the people are normal, at least not compared to home back east.”

  Agent Riker’s face fell a bit. “I see. You’re not from here.”

  “No. I’m just here for the summer to settle up my great-aunt’s estate. I can’t even remember the last time I was here—probably too young to recall.” I frowned. “What’s all this about, anyway? Do you know who shot Carter?”

  Agent Riker’s expression went from contemplative to blank. “I’m not at liberty to talk
about that.”

  “Not at liberty, my foot,” I complained. “If you know who shot Carter and don’t tell, you’ll have to answer to his mother.”

  Agent Riker looked mildly disturbed, then pulled a card from his pocket and handed it to Carter. “As soon as your memory clears, give me a call.”

  “Sure,” Carter said and placed the card on the tray next to him.

  “I can’t express enough how important this is, Mr. LeBlanc,” Agent Riker said. “Attempting to handle this matter yourself is not advisable.”

  “Got it,” Carter said, not bothering to look at Riker.

  Agent Riker frowned. “I wonder if you do. In case you’re fuzzy on the law as well as what happened to you yesterday, if you interfere with my investigation, you’ll be arrested so quickly, it will probably give you another concussion.”

  Carter looked up at him. “Since you haven’t told me what you’re investigating, you might have trouble making charges stick. I can hardly be expected to sit in my house until you decide it’s all right for me to do my job.”

  Agent Riker smiled. “If you give me any reason to doubt your intentions, that can be arranged.” He motioned to Agent Mitchell and they left the room. The door hadn’t even closed before Ida Belle and Emmaline hurried inside.

  “What a douche bag,” I said.

  Carter laughed.

  I whirled around. “Did I say that out loud?”

  “Yes,” Ida Belle said, “but I was thinking it.”

  Carter looked at me and grinned. “You were a maniac. That whole airhead routine made Agent Riker crazy.”

  I nodded. “It also made him leave. So what the hell is going on?”

  Carter shook his head. “I couldn’t get a thing out of them except that they’re with the ATF. I threw out some comments and questions that I thought would elicit a response, but I didn’t even get an eye twitch. Lobotomies must be required for government agents. I swear, they’ve all had their personalities scrubbed.”

  Ida Belle glanced at me, looking a little worried. I probably should have been offended, but I couldn’t muster up the energy to be. His statement held entirely too much truth, even about myself. My entire career, I’d essentially been a machine. Granted, a highly reliable and extremely efficient one, but personality hadn’t played into any of my accomplishments. At the CIA, personality was usually considered a detriment.