My New Crush Gave to Me

by Shani Petroff

  This was so not in the plan.

  Thirty-Four

  I rushed into school Friday morning and headed straight for the main office. There was a little desk outside of it that had sign-up sheets, pamphlets, and most important—the paper. I picked up a copy.

  The cover page looked nice; it was about volunteering over the holidays and had pictures of students at a nursing home and another of the soccer team helping out at a soup kitchen over Thanksgiving.

  I thumbed through the next few pages. So far so good. I kept flipping. I really wanted to see the photo spread. It had better not be a giant photo of me with a poinsettia plant on my head.

  I opened to the center page and readied myself for the worst. Only it wasn’t.

  It was incredible. Roughly one hundred photos filled the page, but they weren’t just thrown on there. They were carefully placed to form a snowflake. From a distance you wouldn’t even be able to tell that it was a photo collage, but up close you could see all of our classmates doing everything from reading in study hall and performing in the school play to hanging out after homecoming and getting the winning touchdown in the football game. The snowflake had six points—and at the very end of each one was a photo of me. The unfortunate aforementioned one of me at the mall, one of Morgan and me cheering at the football game, another of us at Scobell’s afterward, one of me decorating J.D.’s Christmas tree, one of me in that ridiculous Christmas spirit costume laughing and singing with a group of children, and one of my snow angel alongside J.D.’s. While that technically wasn’t me, it was still my form. And smack in the center of the snowflake was a picture of me looking out at the town from atop the hill he brought me to. I didn’t even know J.D. took a photo of me there.

  I couldn’t stop staring at the page. “I can’t believe he did this.”

  “What?” someone walking past asked.

  “Nothing,” I said.

  But it wasn’t nothing. It was huge. By the end of the day J.D. had taken over all of my thoughts. In class, when I saw him I had a brain freeze. I didn’t know what to say. I just smiled and said, “Good job, and don’t be late to the party, you promised.” Then I barely waited for him to say, “I’ll be there” before I pretended to study my book. That wasn’t even close to how I wanted it to go down, but I was nervous, and that feeling only tripled itself by the time the Sentinel party started. I still wasn’t sure what to make of J.D. and his photo spread. Was it his way of telling me he liked me or was he just going with some artistic vision and trying for symmetry?

  That’s probably it. He said he doesn’t want me. I need to stop thinking about him. I don’t want him, either. Or do I?

  I clutched the bag I was holding. It had both J.D.’s and Teo’s gifts inside. Teo … Why wasn’t I focusing more on Teo? The past several weeks had all been leading up to today. I needed to get my head in the game.

  Noelle’s birthday party was just days away, and I was going to have a date. Not just a date, the perfect date. Teo. He was the one that would make Zakiyah’s head spin. But what did I care what she thought of me—or my date?

  I walked into the computer room right on time, and Teo was already there. He saw me and smiled, that smile that exuded confidence and charm. It wasn’t cocky or smug or accompanied by a giant, distracting dimple like his cousin’s. It was so much better. Of course it was.

  I took a deep breath and made my way over to him. He met me halfway, in front of Morgan’s massive dessert display. I had brought in a bunch of drinks, but she brought in homemade fudge, lollipops, and no less than a dozen different types of cookies. She had spent her last-period study hall setting it all up. And people thought I was the overachiever.

  “Hey,” Teo said.

  “Hey,” I repeated back to him.

  His eyes did a quick glance down my body, and I found myself shifting away from him. I had worn the dark-green dress because it brought out my eyes, and I liked the sleek A-line fit. I wanted him to notice, so why all of a sudden did it feel wrong?

  J.D., that’s why.

  But someone who liked me wouldn’t be late to my party, not when he knew how much that bothered me. I looked at the door. No sign of him.

  I took one of Morgan’s candy cane cookies and studied the red-and-white twists. “She’s really good at what she does,” I said.

  He picked up a green Rice Krispies treat wreath. “That’s probably part of why you get along so well. You’re both at the top of your game.”

  “You’re one to talk.”

  “That’s why we get along so well, too.”

  I raised an eyebrow at him. I had barely seen him since he gave me the gift on Monday. We’d passed each other in the hall maybe three times and didn’t even speak. “Do we?” I asked. “We never talk.”

  “That’s something we need to change.” He patted the present he was holding. “I thought about you a lot this week, and I found you something I think you’re going to love.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yep, you’ll see when you open it. I’d let you sneak a peek now, but I know you like to play by the rules.”

  That was true, and in the e-mail I sent out, I specifically said that the final present exchange would take place at the end of the party—one hour in, when we would all open our presents together.

  I was so confused. When Teo wanted to, he could ooze charm and make me feel like we could really be something incredible together. And here he was, trying to make an effort, making my power-couple dream seem like it could be a reality, and all I could do was look over his shoulder, hoping his cousin would walk in. What was going on with me?

  “Teo,” Bobby said, walking over. “Thanks for doing the article. It really beefed up the sports section.”

  As they talked about the championship game, I slipped away and sank into a chair in the back corner. There were enough monitors in front of me to keep me virtually hidden. Which was what I needed. I could not face Zakiyah right now. I just needed to think.

  “Here you are,” Morgan said, taking a seat next to me a little while later. “I’ve been searching all over for you. What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know.”

  I looked between the screens at the party for what had to be the eightieth time. My eyes went from Teo to the door. Still no J.D.

  “Looking for someone?” she asked.

  “No.”

  She knew I was, but she also knew not to push. I did not want to cry. Not here. Not in front of everyone. “He’s always late,” was all she said about it. She held out a little plate, and I took one of the three sugar cookies on it. “But I saw you talking to Teo. That’s good, right?”

  “Yeah, I guess so.”

  “What is it?”

  “It’s just…” I shook my head. “I just don’t know if he gets me.”

  “I thought you two were ‘perfect,’” she said, quoting my words from before back to me.

  “Maybe I was wrong.” I picked at the cookie. “I don’t know. He got me these amazing presents that show he listened to what I had to say. Don’t get me wrong, that’s a huge plus, but other than being coeditor of the paper, a straight-A student, someone who hangs out with his cousin, likes cats, marshmallows, and red flowers, I’m not sure he has any idea who I am.”

  I looked over at Teo. He was talking to a group of five people, and they were all laughing and hanging on to his every word. Everyone was having a great time, while I hid and kept a secret watch on the door. I was being crazy.

  “Would there be somebody else perchance who does?” Morgan asked. Then she quickly added, “Not that I’m naming any names.”

  I looked at the clock on the wall. “Apparently not.” We were just shy of an hour into the party, and J.D. still hadn’t made an appearance. He had broken his promise. “We should go do the gift exchange. It’s almost time.”

  I waited another two minutes and then called everyone to attention and launched into my prepared remarks. “Thank you all for coming out today and helping us celebr
ate not only the holidays, but the holiday edition of the paper. You put a lot of hard work into it, and I know I may have been difficult at times…” I paused as Zakiyah and a few others snickered. When I rehearsed the speech, I had planned to look at J.D. when I said that part and smile—now it felt flat. “But,” I continued, “it all paid off. It looks amazing, and you all did an incredible job. Thank you. And now what you’ve all been waiting for. It’s time for the big Secret Santa reveal—go ahead and give your last gift. We have the room for another fifteen minutes, and then we have to get out of here so the staff can start their winter break, too. So enjoy the rest of the party, happy holidays, and thank you again.”

  Teo held his present up and walked over to me.

  “Guess it’s not much of a reveal,” I said.

  “How’s this then—I actually pulled Gus’s name but traded it for yours.”

  “Really?”

  He wanted to get my name?

  “Wait,” I said, thinking back to the drawing. “You were sitting next to Zakiyah, weren’t you? She was asking about a trade.”

  “Guilty,” he confessed.

  “Then it wasn’t like you wanted to get me; you were only helping her out.”

  “Who said the two are mutually exclusive? I can help someone and get what I want, can’t I?” he asked.

  “I suppose.”

  “At least I put in a little effort; you only got my name by luck,” he said. “That still puts me ahead of the curve.”

  If he only knew.

  “So are we doing this?” he asked, raising his eyebrows up and down and pointing to the bag I was holding.

  He was sweet. Why was I being so weird? This was what I wanted. “Yes,” I said and handed him a little gift bag, ignoring the one for J.D.

  The baseball was covered by about three pounds of tissue paper. Teo tore into it and pulled out his present. “Is this really…? No. You didn’t! Did you?! You got me a signed Manny Franco ball?”

  I had seen him get excited over the other gifts, but those reactions were nothing in comparison to this. Those gifts were like stale fruitcake. This was like Santa struck gold. Teo actually picked me up and spun me around. Everyone turned to look, although he didn’t seem to care. But Zakiyah definitely took notice. I just smiled at her and turned away, but I knew she was fuming. I had won. Yet I didn’t feel like a winner.

  Okay, I needed to get out of this funk. It wasn’t like I even wanted J.D., I reminded myself. I was just disappointed he broke his promise about being there, that was all. We were supposed to be friends.

  “Charlie, this is incredible,” Teo said. “Thank you. Come here.” We walked over to a seat by the side of the room, and he handed me the wrapped gift he was holding. “Open yours. It was made especially for you.”

  The way he was looking at me, that’s what I wanted, that’s what I deserved. I ripped open the paper. It was a weekly planner. The cover had two kittens playing in the snow.

  “Look inside,” he said.

  There were little drawings and handwritten inscriptions written there. One page in December said, Remember to schedule time for yourself—a long walk or car ride, and it had a little car next to it. Another blocked off two hours for leisure reading and had a drawing of a book and hearts. And on January first, New Year’s Day was crossed off, and it said, Charlie’s Day, and it had a birthday cake, balloons, and streamers around it. I hadn’t even remembered telling him about my birthday. He must have found it on my GroupIt page. The whole calendar was filled with things like that. October had notes like stop stressing about college applications, you’re brilliant, you’ve got this.

  I looked up at Teo in awe. “You did this?”

  He shrugged. “I wanted something to impress you.”

  “Teo, thank you so much.” I reached over and gave him a hug, and he squeezed me back tightly. I had been so wrong. He did know me. He knew exactly what I needed.

  “Hey,” Katie shouted. “Where’s my gift?”

  “J.D. must have your name,” Bobby said, still holding a wrapped present. “He’s not here.”

  So typical. How had I ever thought that I liked J.D. better than his cousin?

  I turned my attention back to Teo. “Any chance you want to go with me to Noelle’s party?” And I wasn’t inviting him because of Zakiyah, or J.D., or just to have a date. I was asking because he was the right guy for me. A guy who was there for me, a guy who did what he said he was going to do, a guy who spent what had to be hours upon hours making me a gift he knew I’d love. That was who I wanted to be with.

  “Yes,” he said, putting his hand on mine. “I was hoping you’d ask.”

  It was true what they said, great minds really did think alike.

  Thirty-Five

  On Christmas Eve, Mom and I went to midnight mass. I should have been happy. The ceremony was beautiful, I was spending time with my mother, after next week her work schedule was going to be a lot lighter, and the date I had been dreaming about for weeks was actually going to happen. Everything was going the way I wanted. So why wasn’t I more excited?

  “Merry Christmas, sweetie,” my mother said as we walked to the car.

  “Merry Christmas.”

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.” It wasn’t technically a lie. There wasn’t anything actually wrong with me. I just felt a little empty, but I didn’t want to talk about it, so when we got to the car, I turned the radio on to some Christmas music and pretended everything was great.

  “You know,” my mom said as we walked into the house, “since it is technically Christmas morning, we could open presents now. I say we change into comfy pajamas and meet back at the tree in five!”

  She looked so excited that I couldn’t help but smile back at her and agree.

  “Look what I have,” she said, her face all mischievous, when I reentered the living room. She held up a tray of spicy cinnamon rolls. “It’s never too early for cream cheese frosting, right?”

  “Right,” I said and took a big bite of one. But it was just for Mom’s benefit. I wasn’t really in the mood to eat.

  “Okay,” she said, handing me a box. “Open this one first, since you already know what it is.” Inside was a brochure for the summer program I went to every year. “You can pick a different one if you prefer.”

  “This one is awesome, thank you,” I said.

  “That’s not all.”

  We opened up a bunch of little gifts. Blouses, earrings, Christmas socks—the ones she got me had reindeer on them and the nose was a little red cotton ball that protruded from it. They reminded me of J.D.’s ugly Christmas sweater. I bet he’d love these. I kicked myself. He wasn’t supposed to creep into my thoughts. I wasn’t in his. All I got from him was a one-sentence text on Friday that said: I’m really sorry I missed the party. No explanation. No “please forgive me” pleas. No phone call. I didn’t respond, and he didn’t reach out again.

  “Now the grand finale,” Mom announced with fanfare in her voice. We always saved the best presents for last.

  “Me first,” I said, handing her an envelope.

  “Charlie, this is perfect.” It was a gift certificate for a mother-daughter day at the spa. I wanted something we could do together.

  “We are going to use this ASAP. Now open yours,” she said. It was a small jewelry box, but when I opened it, it wasn’t jewelry; two tickets unfurled. Mom had had a similar idea. “I thought we could go away during your spring recess. Just you and me. Florida. The beach, Disney World, Epcot, whatever you want. I already put in for the time off.”

  I had been dying to go away forever. I hugged her. “Thank you, this is really amazing.” I traced my fingers over the tickets. Too bad we couldn’t take off right now.

  “Charlotte Donovan,” she said, studying me. “What’s going on with you?”

  “Nothing. I’m excited. I love the gifts. I love that we’re going on a trip. Really.”

  Mom shook her head. “No. Some
thing’s up. The Charlie I know would be screaming about these tickets by now.”

  She was right. Don’t get me wrong, I truly was thrilled with the gift, I just wasn’t in the mood to jump up and down. Everything seemed sort of muted.

  “Talk to me,” she said.

  And I did. I told her everything. About Teo, and how J.D. had gone from the most annoying guy on the planet to a guy I actually liked spending time with, and how he let me down. And how I should have been over the moon between my upcoming date and spending Christmas Eve with her and getting all these presents, but I was kind of sad.

  She put her arm around me. “I’m sorry, sweetie. Maybe J.D. had a good reason for missing the party.”

  “Doubt it,” I said. If he did, he would have told me already. Or at least made more of an effort to apologize. He knew I really wanted him there.

  “Well, even if he didn’t, don’t let him ruin your Christmas. You said it yourself, you have all these wonderful things to look forward to—focus on that. Now come on.” She picked up the tray of cinnamon rolls and headed toward her room. (Christmas was the one time a year she allowed eating in the bedroom.) “We have some Christmas movie watching to do.”

  She was right, I had to appreciate what I had. We crawled into her bed and turned on A Christmas Story. It played on TV for twenty-four hours straight. Mom had already fallen asleep by the time Ralphie came out in the pink bunny suit. I shut the television off when I saw it. I didn’t need a reminder of the caroling night. Instead, I went to my room and got out the planner Teo had made for me.

  This is what I need to concentrate on.

  The detail and time that went into it was unbelievable. Teo really cared. J.D. couldn’t even bother to show up. I held the planner close to my chest and took a deep breath.

  I was definitely going to Noelle’s party with the right Ortiz cousin; the proof was in my hands.

  Thirty-Six

  “Merry Christmas!” Morgan said when I stopped by her house late Christmas afternoon. Since my mom had to work, I decided to join Morgan’s family for a movie. “How was the holiday?” she asked.