Dreamspinner Press Year Four Greatest Hits

by Felicia Watson

  Robyn slips into the seat beside him and snuggles in under his arm, and then speaks softly in his ear. “Jeff and Evan are still here. I can get a ride home with them, if….”

  “No.” Dan isn’t loud, but he’s emphatic, and he knows Ryan notices. He decides to get it over with and he turns to face Ryan directly. “We’re gonna head out, I guess. But, thanks, seriously, for inviting me. It, uh….” He doesn’t really have any words, so he just smiles at Ryan, hopes he understands. “I’m glad I came.”

  Ryan pauses, then nods. “Yeah, I’m glad you came too. And you know pretty much all the places to find me—here, home, or the restaurant—so if you want to do something sometime, let me know.” Dan nods and they both stand up, and Ryan gives him another hug, and then looks at him with warm, sincere eyes. “I hope I’ll hear from you.”

  Dan nods. “Yeah, absolutely. My schedule’s still a bit up in the air, but… yeah. I think you will.” He grins a little, and Ryan grins back, and suddenly everything seems just a little bit more clear. Robyn tucks herself back under Dan’s arm and they work their way out of the restaurant. They glance over at Jeff and Evan on the way, and Robyn gives a little wave, which Jeff returns. Dan doesn’t even want to start thinking about them tonight. He just wants to feel good for a while.

  They hit the sidewalk and head for the truck, and Robyn keeps looking at Dan. He tries to ignore it, but eventually he cracks. “What?” he growls.

  “Nothing.” She makes it three more steps before she says, “I like Ryan.”

  “Yeah, I like him too.”

  She nods, and just before they get to the car, she says, “Seriously, though? Nothing, ever, between you and Jeff? Or you and Evan?” Dan sighs and shakes his head. “Huh.” Robyn’s mouth twitches a little, and she says, “I’ve gotta say, the barn gang is going to be a little disappointed to hear that!”

  Dan’s head swivels toward her, and she laughs as she says, “What, you thought you were magically immune to being gossiped about? Please! But that’s all right. You should hear all the great stuff I got tonight! I swear, living in a small town is brilliant—everybody knows everybody! By the time I get done passing all this along tomorrow, we might not even have time to get to your sorry lack of a love life.”

  Dan stares at her, and he can tell she’s starting to think she went a little too far. Then he shakes his head in exasperation. “Okay, then, tell me what you got.” And the rest of the ride home is filled with happy chatter about people who Dan doesn’t know, and whose problems he doesn’t have to care about. It turns out to be a really, really pleasant drive.

  Chapter 23

  DAN WAKES up with the sun the next morning. He’s only been in California for a little over a week, but already his body has adjusted to the time change and re-established its old patterns. He puts the pillow over his head and tries to get back to sleep, but it’s no use, and eventually he gives up and just lies there. He’s been trying to avoid having any downtime. When his mind isn’t occupied, it always seems to go back to Justin, and there’s no point in dwelling on things that he can’t change.

  But this morning he lets his mind go there. He doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life searching for ways to distract himself. He wants to be able to just be, at least sometimes. So he lies there in bed, and he lets himself think about Justin. And it isn’t as hard as he’d thought it might be. It still makes him sad, and maybe he’s crying a little bit by the end, but he remembers a lot of good times too. He’s never understood people who like watching sad movies, but he thinks maybe he’s starting to get it. He thinks maybe it’s possible to be sad and happy at the same time.

  But he can only handle it for so long, and then he hauls himself out of bed and into the shower. He runs the water cold for a while, hoping it gets rid of any puffiness around his eyes. He’s not vain, but he doesn’t really feel like advertising his emotional frailties.

  He gets dressed, finds some breakfast, and then heads down to the barn. He still hasn’t worked out any system of days off for himself, but he doesn’t really think he’s going to take many. He truly does enjoy his job.

  Tatiana is already there when he arrives, helping Devin with the chores, but she abandons that as soon as Dan appears. “Morning! Ready for the cross-country course?” she chirps, and Dan groans. He’s glad he’d had to stay sober enough to drive home the night before. Tatiana must be pretty hard to take with a hangover. But he had promised her.

  “Yeah, okay. You’re going to take Sunshine?” She nods and goes to get the mare out of her stall. Dan is tempted to take Monty, but this is Tat’s first trip up the hill on horseback, so Dan decides that he’d better make sure he’s not being too distracted by his own horse.

  He heads over to Smokey’s stall, and checks out the additions to his name plate. “Smoke and Mirrors,” “Smoke Gets in My Eyes,” “The Big Smoke,” “When Smokey Sings,” “Smokin’ Tails”… the poor horse is going to have an identity crisis. But he seems to be handling the pressure all right, and ambles out of the stall and into the crossties. He nuzzles affectionately at Dan, who’s just about to be flattered when Devin strolls by and gets the exact same treatment. The little horse is just friendly.

  Dan and Tat saddle up and head out along the path up the hill. When they get near the house, the pit bull comes out again. She’s made a bit of a habit of joining Dan for his morning rides, and it seems like she was waiting for him.

  “Oh, Lou! Hi, sweetie!” Tatiana coos, and Dan is a little disgruntled. He’d known intellectually that the dog must belong to somebody, had thought she was likely Jeff’s, but he’d started to think of her as his own little friend. Tat turned to Dan. “Is it okay if she comes with us?”

  “She’s never been a problem before. Just give Sunshine a chance to meet her, make sure she’s okay with it.” Tat loosens her reins and the mare extends her nose down, and then tries to sneak a bite of grass while she’s down there. “Yeah, she’s fine,” Dan snorts.

  They head on up the hill and onto the course. Dan finds his stomach knotting up a little. He doesn’t really like the feeling of being responsible for someone else’s safety, especially not for a fifteen-year-old’s. “Okay, so this is your first time around. We’re not going to do the whole course. We’ll just look at each obstacle, you’ll tell me what the challenges are, how you’d handle it. If it sounds good to me, you’ll give it a try.” Tat nods seriously, and Dan continues. “Your focus will be on precision and control. If the horse starts getting worked up, the jumping is over, and we’ll head back down to the barn. If you start getting reckless, the jumping is over, and you’ll walk back to the barn. All right?”

  Tat nods and tries to look serious, but Dan can see her eyes dancing. He remembers the feeling, and doesn’t want to discourage it. He just wants to make sure she’s safe.

  “Okay, we’re not gonna do any of the tricky ones today. Let’s start with four—it’s just a brush jump, like you’ve seen in stadium jumping. What’s going to be different when you’re doing it out here?”

  They follow Dan’s cautious approach for several jumps, with Dan and Smokey standing at a distance from the jump with Lou, and Tat discussing the jump, trying it, getting feedback, and trying again. Dan’s impressed with her focus and ability to analyze what she’s doing wrong and what she’s doing right. She really does seem to be taking this seriously. Toward the end of the session he has her take a few jumps in sequence, and she’s clearly thrilled. He’s just about to suggest a break when he sees a man’s head rise over the top of the hill. Lou is taking off toward him, barking happily, before Dan’s even sure that it’s her owner.

  Jeff greets Lou and walks over to join Dan, and Tat trots Sunshine over happily. “Jeff, this is so incredible! We’re doing really well, and Sunshine is awesome, and I’m not, but I’m learning! You should see us!” She turns to Dan. “I know you said that was our last trip, but can I do just one more? I’m not tired, and Sunshine is fine….”

  Dan smiles, and nudges
Smokey to move forward to stand next to Sunshine. “You can do one more if you chill out a little. It’s good to be excited, but you’ve got to keep it under control, or your horse will feel it and things will get crazy. Do a couple big circles, get yourself calm, make sure Sunshine’s good, and when you’re ready, do one more run.”

  Tatiana beams at him and pulls Sunshine away, heading out to the track of the large circle they’ve been riding. “This job would really suck if she wasn’t a sweetheart,” Dan says mostly to himself, but Jeff’s rumbling laugh isn’t unexpected.

  “A lot of things would be a lot more difficult if she wasn’t a sweetheart. She could have made things hell for me and Evan.”

  Dan glances over at Jeff. He hadn’t thought about that, but it’s a good point. Tatiana is old enough now to know what people are saying, and to know that her brother and his older male lover aren’t exactly standard issue. Dan thinks of the girls at the restaurant the day before and winces to think of Tat having to deal with that.

  Jeff sees Dan’s agreement, and continues. “He’s having a bit of a tough time, lately. I hope he wasn’t a problem last night at the bar?”

  “No, not really. Just a little drunk, a little random. No big thing.”

  Jeff’s looking at him. “Seemed random, did it?”

  “What? There was a reason?” Dan is confused, as usual. “You mean, like, his employees aren’t allowed to hang out in the same bar as him or something?” That doesn’t sound like Evan, but Dan has to remember that he doesn’t know the guy too well.

  Jeff laughs a little as he shakes his head. “No, Dan, I don’t think that was the problem.” He looks over at Tatiana, who is lining Sunshine up to start jumping. Both men watch her quietly as she approaches the first obstacle and takes it cleanly. Dan is just thinking that he needs to talk to her about keeping Sunshine straight for a little longer on the landing when Jeff mutters, “Straighten her out a little,” and Dan feels reassured. He’s used to training horses, not riders, so he’s glad Jeff agrees.

  Dan bobs his head and practically jumps with Tat as the second and third jumps also go well, but when Dan glances over at Jeff to see if he’s pleased, he finds that the man is looking at him, not at Tatiana. Dan gives him a questioning look, and Jeff smiles a little. “I think… I think Evan and I haven’t been as clear as we should be. You’re a part of Tatiana’s life, now… a good part. Hopefully you’re going to be around for a long time. And what Evan and I are trying right now isn’t really working.” He pauses, and then smiles brightly at Dan. “And you’re really, really terrible at reading people.”

  Dan barks out a quick laugh. He hadn’t realized his problem was quite so apparent. “Yeah, I kinda am.” He glances almost shyly at Jeff. “I have no idea what’s going on with you and Evan. But, seriously… I’m not nosy. I don’t need to know everything, if you’d rather not explain yourselves… ’cause you’re right, I’m really not likely to figure it out on my own.”

  Jeff smiles at him, and Dan almost feels like they’re back in Kentucky. The heat isn’t there, and, all things considered, Dan is thankful for that, but there is warmth, and the feeling that Jeff actually cares about him. He feels like a cat basking in the sunlight. Jeff shifts, almost reaches out for him, and Dan can practically feel the heavy hand sitting on his knee, but then Jeff pulls back, and says, “I’m gonna talk to Evan, okay?”

  Dan shrugs. “Okay.” Jeff could tell him he was going to build a new barn out of oatmeal, and that would be okay by Dan.

  Tatiana pulls up on Sunshine, and Dan and Jeff both congratulate her warmly. Dan feels a bit like he and Jeff are parents watching their child perform, and it strikes him as odd that none of them are actually related. They set off down the trail to the barn, Tat and Dan riding on the outside, Jeff and Lou walking together in the middle.

  Both horses prick their ears forward as two large dogs appear off to the side of the path, and Sunshine dances a little as Trapper and Copa approach. They aren’t quite as well-behaved as Lou around the horses, and when Evan appears they act up a little more, as if they are protecting him from the horrible equine monsters. Jeff quiets them down pretty well, and when Evan meets the riders on the path the dogs settle completely with his hands on their foreheads.

  Evan smiles a little tentatively at them all, and then addresses Jeff and Tatiana. “Tia sent me out to find you. She’s got brunch just about ready.” He turns to Dan. “I’m sure there’s lots, if you haven’t eaten yet.”

  “No, thanks, I did eat. I can take the horses back, though. Tat, I can ride Sunshine back and lead Smokey, if you want to head straight to the house.”

  Tatiana looks shocked, and maybe a little offended. “But you said that a true horse-person looks after the whole horse, not just the riding part!”

  Dan smiles at her. “Yeah, I did. But a true horse-person is also happy to trade chores with another horse-person. It’s no big deal, seriously.”

  She shakes her head stubbornly. “No, Sunshine did her job on the hill, now I should do mine in the barn.”

  Dan sees Jeff and Evan both smiling at her, and for a second it’s like they’re all fond parents. “Okay, then,” Jeff says, slapping Sunshine on the shoulder. “You take care of your responsibilities. We’ll keep brunch warm for you.”

  “And save me some bacon!”

  Evan shakes his head. “It’s every man for himself with bacon, you know that.”

  “Jeff—can you ask Tia to save me some bacon?” Tat asks sweetly.

  “I’ll see what I can do, sweetheart.”

  Tatiana smiles smugly at Evan and then nudges Sunshine forward. “Let’s go, honey—we’ll find some brunch for you too!”

  Dan has a quick urge of irrational jealousy as he watches Jeff bring his hand up and rest it on Evan’s neck as they turn and walk back to the house. He needs to get a lid on that. Whatever Jeff may or may not want to talk to him about isn’t going to be any easier to understand if he’s still harboring some stupid crush.

  Dan and Tatiana head back to the barn with the horses, and when they get there Robyn is waiting for them, looking a little excited. She lets Tatiana take Sunshine into the barn and then grabs Dan’s arm. “It’s about time! Hurry up!”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “We’re going to Santa Cruz.” She gives Dan a pleading look. “Please, please, please, we’re going to Santa Cruz?”

  “Wait, who’s ‘we’, and why are we going to Santa Cruz?” Dan has only a vague idea of where that even is.

  “You, me, and some people from last night. Scott called about half an hour ago, asked if we wanted to go with them.”

  “Scott the drummer? You gave him your number?” Dan gives Robyn a long look, and laughs when she blushes.

  “Okay, yes, I’m weak! Are you happy? But I don’t want to go by myself, and you were invited, too, so… please, Dan? He’s really cute, and I think he was pretty nice.”

  Dan shakes his head, but he’s not saying no. “Yeah, he seemed all right… who all else is going?”

  Robyn makes a face. “Okay, will it make it more likely or less likely that you’ll go if I say Ryan is going?”

  “It’ll make me less likely to dump a bucket of water on your head if you just spit it out.”

  She looks at him skeptically, and then says, “Okay, fine. He’s going. But so are Molly and Nikki, but without Donny because he has to work, so it’s not like a date unless you want it to be.”

  “I don’t know, Robyn. I’ve got a lot of work to do around this place. I can’t just keep taking off every afternoon.”

  “It’s not every afternoon! It’s two afternoons this week, and you worked fifteen hours every other day. I don’t think anyone’s going to accuse you of shirking.”

  “She’s right.” It’s Tatiana, looking out at them from the door of the barn. “Sorry to eavesdrop, but… if you want to go, you should go. You’ve been working really hard, and Santa Cruz is pretty fun. It’s less than an hour’s drive, and th
ere’s lots to do there.” She looks a little sad, and Dan finds himself unable to read another Kaminski. “I mean, if you don’t want to go, that’d be great—you could stay and hang out with Jeff and Evan and me. But if you want to go… you shouldn’t stay just because you think you’re supposed to work.”

  “Please, Dan? I’ll be your slave for a week,” Robyn pleads.

  “You’re already my slave, stable girl.” So much for not letting their new work hierarchy change their relationship.

  “Yeah, but for a week I’ll actually listen to you. And… I won’t gossip about you at all, for a whole month. Please, Dan?”

  Dan honestly isn’t even sure what he wants to do. He isn’t against the idea in general, it just all feels a little… rushed. Rushed to get ready today, but also rushed that he hadn’t even met Ryan twenty-four hours earlier, and now he’s thinking about going on his second semi-date with him. Third, if you count the deck building… and, hey, there’d been dinner. But Robyn’s really excited, and Dan still feels a bit guilty for neglecting her all week. Her phone rings, and she looks at him imploringly as she picks it up. He nods resignedly, and then watches as she puts her game face on to be cool for the phone call.

  While Robyn is sorting out details, Dan leads Smokey into the barn and pulls off his tack. He’s carrying it to the tack room when he notices Tatiana looking at him a little shyly. “You okay, Tat?”

  “Yeah. I just… this Ryan guy… do you really like him?”

  Dan really hopes this isn’t more of that crush that Evan had teased him about. He really hasn’t seen much sign of it, though, so maybe she’s just curious. He decides honesty is the best approach. “I don’t really know, Tat. I mean… I don’t really know him.”

  “But you like what you know.”