Ryan looks encouraged and goes to share the idea with his band mates, but Dan feels a little like he just dug his own grave. After Evan’s performance, it’s going to be really hard to tell Ryan that Evan owns the record company and that Dan knew all along. Well, it would have been hard anyway, given that he’s left it so long, but even harder now that Evan has been deliberately evasive. Dan knows he can’t blame Evan for this one; it had been Evan’s idea, but Dan’s decision. He just hopes the record guys do show up, so at least the lie will have been worth something.
The band starts playing again, and after a couple songs the doors open and three people come in, two men and a woman. The woman and one of the men are young, thirty at the most, but the other man is older, maybe in his fifties. They’re dressed casually, but they don’t seem to be at the bar for fun, and while they order drinks, they only sip them. Dan exchanges a glance with Evan, who shrugs but grins. Ryan and the band have noticed them, too, and their energy increases dramatically. They finish the set and the younger man gets up and goes and introduces himself to Ryan and the band, and Ryan goes over to the table and talks to all of them for a while. He goes back and talks to the band again, and they look like they’re sorting things out.
The final set is made up almost totally of the band’s own songs, including some that had been played already that night. Nobody minds the repetition, though, and everyone makes sure to cheer enthusiastically. They wrap up that set and the whole band goes to meet the A&R team while the rest of the bar pretends to be busy with their own affairs. The band visits for a few minutes and then the record company people shake hands all around and head out. Ryan waits until they’re safely away before he goes back to the stage and takes the mic.
“Okay, uh… first, let me thank you all for coming out on a weeknight and being such an incredible audience. I think that really helped. And, I don’t know if it was you or something else, but something went right, because they’re going to give us a call tomorrow to work out a contract!” The bar erupts into cheers, and Dan joins in happily. He hasn’t known Ryan for long, but he likes him, and he’s happy to see something good happen for him.
Ryan comes down off the stage to celebrate, and he stops by Dan’s table, but he has a lot of people to visit. It makes it clear to Dan how little he knows the man. There are people here who’ve loved Ryan his whole life, and Dan is a johnny-come-lately next to them. When Dan gets up to tell him that the gang is heading out, he looks disappointed but not crushed. “We’ve all got to be up early for work tomorrow, so we need to go. But you have a great night celebrating, okay?” Ryan nods and gives Dan a hug, and Dan wonders if it’s over, if whatever they might have had has flared out and gone. It makes him sorry to think so, but he realizes that it’s nothing that he can’t move past. He hopes it’s not gone, but if it is, he’ll be okay. He guesses he managed to keep it casual after all.
He spends the next day working, not thinking. He rides all of the horses that are going to the horse trial on the weekend and finds them all in good shape and totally ready for the level of competition they’ll be dealing with. He’s happy about that. Tat is going to be riding Sunshine, and he spends some time walking her through what to expect, then he gives shorter reviews to Robyn, who’ll be riding Chaucer, and Michelle, who’s taking Kip. Dan looks over his own strategies for Monty and Winston. Two of the horses, Sunshine and Monty, are competing well below their appropriate levels and will be entered hors concours, which means they can’t win any prizes, and Dan is just taking Chaucer and Winston along for experience, and isn’t sure if he’ll take either on the cross-country course. That leaves Kip to represent the barn in the ribbons, and Dan really doesn’t have a good enough idea of the level of competition out here to be confident about the results. Back in Kentucky he thinks he’d have done pretty well.
Ryan calls in the late afternoon. He’s got a dinner meeting with the band, but wants to know if Dan’s free afterwards. They agree to meet up at the Fireside at ten o’clock. Dan goes home shortly after the call and has a nap. He doesn’t usually sleep during the day, but he’s had a few late nights, and it looks like another coming up. When he wakes up it’s fully dark outside, and he looks at the clock to see that it’s nine thirty. He’s slept almost four hours. He hurries into the shower and gets dressed. He’s just about to head out the door when he stops and goes back and takes a long look at Justin’s picture. He’s really not sure what’s going to happen with Ryan, but he can’t shake the feeling that it all somehow comes back to Justin.
Ryan is waiting for him when he gets to the bar, looking a little flushed and very happy. He stands and gives Dan a bear hug in greeting, and Dan is happy to return it. They sit down and the waitress brings Dan a beer, and then Ryan just beams for a minute, until Dan breaks and says, “Okay, okay, give me the details.”
Ryan just about explodes. “The contract is good—we ran it by a lawyer and she says it looks fair… not a lot upfront but a good share of any profits. There’s support for touring and recording, and they want to get started right away.” He sits back and looks a little less happy, but only a little. “The only downside is that they want to start right away. They had some other band lined up for a bunch of gigs, and they fell apart somehow, but the A&R guys say that our sound is similar enough that we can just slip into most of their shows.”
Dan shrugs. “Well, that’s not really a downside, is it? I mean, you’ve been waiting for this for a long time—why wait any longer?”
Ryan smiles a little sadly. “Well, I was kinda thinking maybe we had something good happening here. I know it doesn’t make sense to try to go long distance after three dates. I just… you know.”
“Wonder what could have been. Yeah, I know.” He smiles. “But, seriously, man, this is a great opportunity, right?”
“Yeah, it totally is.” Ryan starts to look happier again.
“When are you leaving?”
“Monday morning, first thing. We’re in LA for rehearsals and set up for four days, and then, bam, on the road.”
Dan nods. “And I’m leaving tomorrow before noon, and won’t be back until Monday sometime.” He looks at Ryan. “So this is it.”
Ryan looks back at him. “I guess it is.”
Dan takes a deep breath and looks at the table. He thinks about Justin, thinks about himself. Then he looks up at Ryan. “So, do you want to get out of here?”
Ryan looks a little surprised and smiles almost shyly. “What, you mean…. Do you want to go back to my place?” He sounds like he’s not sure he believes it.
Dan shrugs a little. “Yeah, maybe. If you do….”
“Are you shitting me? I mean, yeah, I do. I absolutely do.”
“Dude, you sound like we’re getting married.”
“Okay, I don’t think ‘are you shitting me?’ is a traditional part of the wedding vows.”
Dan laughs. “Maybe it should be.” He pulls out his wallet and throws a ten on the table. “No guarantees, man… I could still chicken out at any moment.”
Ryan stands quickly. “Okay, let’s try not to let that happen.” He looks at the ten. “Are you paying for my beer?”
“Consider it a Happy Contract present. Now are you coming or not?”
They walk quickly, neither saying anything, and Dan can feel his nerves beginning to build. He wonders what he’s doing, wonders if he’s ready. He wonders if he’s even going to make it to Ryan’s apartment at this rate. They’re cutting through an alley behind a corner store, and Dan stops walking. Ryan turns and looks at him in concern, and Dan steps forward and brings their mouths together, a quick, nipping kiss. He puts his hands on Ryan’s arms and pushes him gently backward until he hits the wall, and then he goes in for another kiss, slower and deeper this time. Ryan tastes good, feels good, soft lips and tongue, hard teeth, warm breath catching when Dan nips a little. He runs his hands down to Ryan’s waist and then up under his shirt to find the warmth of his skin, and he feels Ryan’s hands under his shirt,
leaving a trail of goose bumps on his stomach and then up to his chest. They break for air for a second, and Dan runs his mouth down along Ryan’s chin to his neck. Ryan lets out a shaky little groan when Dan’s mouth finds the hollow above his collarbone, and Dan focuses there for a minute. He’s never been much of a marker, but he likes the idea of sending Ryan away with a memento, so he sucks hard and nips a little. Ryan leans his head back against the wall, drops his arms to his sides, and just lets it happen. When Dan decides that he’s done, he licks the reddish bruise, and has a flashback to Evan’s quick pink tongue lapping at Jeff’s neck that night on the porch.
Dan pulls Ryan’s head forward and wraps his tongue around Ryan’s, hears Ryan groan again as Dan licks at his mouth and then pulls away. “Okay, let’s go.”
Ryan’s eyes are dazed when he looks at Dan. “What?”
“Let’s go. That was just a refreshment break. We still need to get to your place, right?’
Ryan nods and stumbles away from the wall, and Dan remembers how much he used to like this, the sense of power that comes from driving somebody crazy. He walks alongside Ryan and reaches his hand out, tucks it under his shirt to touch the small of his back, and then dips it down to rest on the waistband of his jeans, fingers just tickling the very top of his ass. Ryan’s body is warm, and Dan likes the feel of it.
They have one more make-out break before getting to Ryan’s, this time up against a mailbox. When they get to the apartment, Dan grabs Ryan and eases him down on the stairs before they even get inside, one of Dan’s knees taking most of his weight between Ryan’s legs, grinding his cock down against Ryan’s thigh, biting and licking and sucking now more than kissing. This isn’t romantic. This isn’t about love or even affection. This is just physical need, and Dan wants to keep it that way.
Ryan is writhing beneath him, trying to get more friction for himself, and Dan thinks about getting him off right there on the stairs, fully dressed. It’s tempting, and he grinds his thigh up into Ryan’s groin for a second, lets him rub along it. But Dan wants more, wants at least nakedness, and he pulls away and puts out a hand to haul Ryan to his feet. “One more stretch,” he mutters and turns Ryan and shoves him up the stairs.
They get inside and Ryan turns as if he expects Dan to jump him right there, but instead Dan brushes by him, forces himself to look nonchalant as he crosses to the fridge and looks inside. He pulls out a bottle of water and crosses over to lean on the wall next to the bedroom door. He opens the bottle and takes a long swallow, then turns to Ryan. “You have too many clothes on, Ryan.”
Ryan grins a little. “Yeah, you too.”
Dan reaches down with one hand and casually pulls his T-shirt up and over his head, dropping it on the floor. Ryan starts undoing the buttons on his shirt, walking closer to Dan. He stops about a foot away and drops his shirt, and Dan has to grip his water bottle to stop himself from reaching out to touch. Ryan is darker than Dan but lighter than Evan, a delicious honey color that Dan wants to taste. Dan bends from the waist to pull his shoes and socks off, and he feels Ryan reach over the top of him to rub along his spine, then bend over to kiss each knobby bone. Dan waits until Ryan pauses before he sinks to his knees and brings his hands to Ryan’s fly, his fingers loosening the button while his palms push against the hard bulge inside. Ryan is breathing quickly again, and Dan loves it. He undoes the zipper and runs his hands back over Ryan’s ass, still on top of his underwear but beneath his jeans, and then he runs his hands down Ryan’s legs, pushing the jeans with them. Ryan shifts his weight to let Dan pull his jeans and flip flops right off, and then Dan’s attention returns to Ryan’s cock.
Dan runs a hand up and over it, caressing it through the cotton of the underwear. He mouths along the outline of it, and he smiles as it twitches and Ryan takes a quivering breath. He gently pulls the fabric down, letting Ryan’s cock bob out in front of him, swollen and hard and begging for attention. Dan breathes on it, gives it one or two almost experimental jacks with his hand, and then sinks his mouth as far over it as he can go. The taste and the weight on his mouth feel like favorite memories. Ryan gives a hoarse little shout and grabs Dan’s hair, and Dan goes with it, bobbing his head a few times, sucking hard and using lots of tongue along the bottom. Ryan’s breathing is ragged, and he’s pulling at Dan’s head, trying to get him to stop. Dan thinks about keeping on, bringing Ryan off right away, but he decides Ryan would be disappointed with that, so he eases off and rubs his body along Ryan’s as he stands and brings their faces together.
“Problem?” He asks softly. There’s a little mole on the left side of Ryan’s chin, and Dan leans forward to kiss it a little, then lick it.
“No problem, but I’m gonna be done pretty quick if you keep that up.” Ryan sounds a little shell-shocked.
“Okay. I don’t think I want to fuck, but… you can have my hand or my mouth.”
“Oh, shit,” Ryan almost whimpers. “Okay, I’m gonna be done pretty quick if you keep saying things like that too.” He closes his eyes tight, and Dan wonders if he’s reciting baseball scores, or thinking of kittens, or….
Dan grins and waits patiently for a minute. “You all right?”
Ryan nods. “Yeah, I think so.” He looks down at Dan. “Hey. You’ve got too many clothes on, man.”
“Well, no one’s taken them off of me yet.”
Ryan grins. “Sorry about that.” But instead of reaching for Dan’s jeans, he takes his hand, and pulls him toward the bedroom. “Come on. I want you horizontal.”
Dan can’t argue with that, especially when Ryan stops him by the side of the bed and eases his jeans and underwear off together, and then turns Dan and shoves him onto the mattress on his back, standing over him and looking down. “God, you are gorgeous.”
Dan grins up at him and raises a hand. “Come down here.” Ryan complies readily, stretching out on top of Dan, lining them up so their naked cocks rub together, smearing precome all over. He grinds down while he sucks on Dan’s collarbone, leaving a mark to match the one on his own skin. It feels good, great even, warm skin and warm mouths, but Dan wants more. He grabs Ryan’s hand and brings it down with his own, works them between their bodies and wraps their joined hands around their cocks, rubbing them both together. Ryan groans and thrusts even harder into the new tightness, and Dan picks up his rhythm and works with him. Ryan’s mouth gets increasingly frantic, roaming from Dan’s lips to his neck, all over his face and then down into the crook of his shoulder. It’s there that he stays, burrowing in a little and moaning, as he makes a few final, wild thrusts and then spasms and spills all over their joined hands and onto Dan’s chest. It feels like a baptism, like the start of something new, and Dan isn’t sure how he feels about it.
Ryan only rests for a few moments, and then his mouth is back on Dan’s, kissing deep and sloppy. It’s a good distraction from Dan’s thoughts. Ryan’s hand takes up its rhythm on Dan’s cock, but after only a few kisses he drags his lips down Dan’s body to take him in his mouth. He’s pretty good at this, and Dan looks down and enjoys the visual, the blond hair falling forward and brushing on Dan’s sensitive skin, the hollowed cheeks and rounded mouth…. It doesn’t take long before Dan’s gasping and throwing his head back. “Shit, Ryan, I’m gonna come,” he warns, but Ryan just hums a little and pulls off part way, working his tongue even faster and harder along the sensitive head. Dan feels the orgasm building and tries to hold off for a bit longer. Everything feels so good; he doesn’t want it to be over. But it washes over him anyway, more powerful than the ones he gets by himself, and he feels his hips thrusting, feels Ryan’s throat working around him as he swallows, and he’s almost crying by the time his body relaxes, and he collapses on the bed.
Ryan worms his way up to Dan’s face and kisses him, and it’s a little too sweet, a little too real, and Dan doesn’t know if he can handle it. He sits up, rests on the side of the bed, and Ryan sits up next to him. “You okay, man?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just… a littl
e intense, you know?”
Ryan chuckles. “You’re telling me.” He brings a hand up to Dan’s shoulders. “You want to get under the covers, sleep for a bit?”
A part of Dan really does, but he thinks that might be a little too much. “No, thanks. I mean—” He turns to look Ryan in the eyes. “Thanks. For everything. I guess this is pretty much it, and… you know…. I haven’t known you for that long, but you’ve been… important.” He squints a little, looking for understanding. “Does that make sense?”
Ryan smiles a little sadly. “Yeah, kinda. But my work here is done. Is that what you’re telling me?”
“Well, that’s what you’re telling me, really. You know… you’re leaving. Which is great. I mean, it’s not great that you’re leaving, but it’s great that you’re getting your shot. I’m happy for you, really.”
Ryan looks like he’s trying to decide something, and finally bursts out with, “Do you want to try to keep it going? I mean, keep in touch at least?” He reaches out and runs a hand along Dan’s neck. “I just… I think maybe we could have something here. I know we said it was casual, and that’s cool, but….”
Dan smiles at him. “Dude, you’re going out on the road! You need your freedom. And I have no idea what I’m doing, but I don’t really want to be sitting around pining after a guy who I only knew for about a week.” The words are a little harsh, but he keeps his tone soft, and he thinks Ryan’s okay with it. “I mean, let’s stay in touch, absolutely. But… you know, let’s do it as friends. And then if we ever end up in the same place again, and the timing’s right… who knows?”
“Yeah. No, you’re right, that makes sense.” He smiles ruefully. “Damn, though. I really don’t want to say goodbye.”
Dreamspinner Press Year Four Greatest Hits Page 58
