GRIER’S EYES remained fixed on the bathroom door, trying to understand what just happened. Lil looked hurt, no matter how he tried to brush him off, and he had a feeling it was his fault. Why? He had no clue, and right now, his brain was filled with thoughts of his son and nothing else. He dialed his father’s number.
“Dilorio,” Santino yelled into the receiver.
“Dad.”
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Has there been any change in plans for this stupid wedding?”
“They’ve moved up the date.”
“Are they crazy?”
“Why are you being so shitty about this?”
Grier sighed so loudly he was sure Santino could smell his breath all the way in Elk Grove. “We need to talk, Dad.”
“You’ve already said that. Let’s talk now.”
“This is not something I can discuss over the phone.”
“Then we’ll do it when you get back.”
“I need to stop the wedding.”
“Why would you want to do that?”
“It’s a mistake.”
“What aren’t you telling me?”
“I know something which might affect the way Ali feels about her.”
“Grier, you’re making no sense.”
“I know. Will you pick me up at the airport on Friday? I’m going to try and catch an earlier flight.”
“Whatever you want.”
“Do we know any retired judges?”
“Bob Sterling down the street.”
“I didn’t know he was a judge.”
“What the hell is going on, son?”
“I’ll explain on Friday.”
“You’d better make it good because right now you’re the one who sounds a little crazy.”
“Sorry, Dad.”
“Call me when you land.”
“Yes, sir.”
Grier’s next call was to American Airlines. After getting all the information he needed, he threw the phone on the mattress and headed for the bathroom. It was so hot and steamy it felt like a sauna. “You trying to cook yourself?” he asked when he stepped into the shower stall.
“Hey.” Lil smiled, apparently recovered from his sulk. “Let me do your hair?”
“Sure.”
“Is everything okay?”
“No. I need to change my flight.”
“WHY ARE you changing plans?”
“Things are fucked up at home.”
“I see.” Lil’s reply was like a blast of cold air in the warm enclosure.
“Listen.” Grier held Lil’s arms and drew him close. Shampoo ran down his face, but the risk of it getting in his eyes was obviously trumped by his need to explain. “I have to take care of this before anything can move forward.”
“You’re preaching to the choir, love.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“I know what’s important to you.”
“You are.”
“Am I? Is this thing we have as important to you as it is to me?”
Grier silenced him with a fierce kiss, cutting off his breath. Lil could tell there was a desperate quality behind the aggressive move as Grier’s tongue sought entry, sweeping through every crevice and possessing him thoroughly. The feel of the day old scruff tickling his mouth, and the stiff cock rubbing against his own swollen shaft added a certain element to the encounter, which made Lil weak with lust. The need for this enigmatic man was so powerful it knocked away his negative thoughts.
“You’re the most important person in my life, next to Luca.” Grier said, practically incinerating him with his fiery expression. “Hear me?”
“Yes,” Lil breathed. “Grier?”
“What, Lil?”
“Nothing,” Lil sighed and gave himself over to his feelings. Fuck the words. Actions spoke louder, and he could certainly feel how much Grier cared. The “I love you” would come in due time, and when it did, it would be that much sweeter because he hadn’t begged for it.
He closed his eyes when Grier wrapped his hands around their cocks and began to stroke them in a determined effort to bring him to a quick orgasm. Lil cried out and clutched Grier’s shoulders, stunned with the force of the climax that crashed into him, making him sag against his lover. They leaned up against the glass, waiting for their heart rates to return to normal.
“How thick is this plate of glass?” Grier choked out.
“Don’t worry,” Lil said, “if it breaks, I’ll sue the fuckers for all they’re worth.”
“As we pick shards of the stuff out of our assholes.”
Lil laughed. “Come on, love. We’d better get dressed if we’re going to catch the ferry.”
Lil pushed the door open and took towels from the heated rack, handing one to Grier.
“When do you want to go back to Chicago?” Lil asked.
“There’s a flight that leaves San Francisco tomorrow, just before midnight, which will put me in Chicago around five thirty Friday morning.”
“That means we only have today and tomorrow.”
“We’ll make the most of it, okay?”
Grier smiled, and Lil’s heartbeat sped up when he saw that beautiful face transformed back into the loving Grier he knew. The fiercely aggressive alpha he’d just had sex with was gone. Still, both of these personalities made up the man he loved, and he was finding that it appealed to his been-there-and-done-that side to be with someone so different from anyone he’d ever known. Grier’s duality kept Lil on his toes, and he never knew what to expect, but each taste was more delightful than the last.
“Before we go anywhere, I have to call Brandy and set up a time to pick up Sebastian.”
“I’m dying to meet Sebastian.”
“He’s a snob.”
“I have to give Luca a full report on this creature, and speaking of Luca, I need to buy him something.”
“We can pick something up in Sausalito or Fisherman’s Wharf.”
“Sounds good.”
“Grier?”
“Yes?”
“Wear a wife-beater under your jacket.”
Grier’s voice turned seductive. “Why?”
“I’ve already seen everything there is to see. I may as well enjoy your tattoos while you’re looking at the landscape.”
Grier looked pleased. “You like my tats, don’t you?”
“I like everything about you.”
“Ditto.”
THEY LUCKED out and had a beautiful day. The sea was calm, the sun was shining, and the drinks aboard the ferry were top-shelf. They decided not to get off at Alcatraz since that involved several hours of an accompanied tour, and time had become an issue now that Grier was leaving sooner rather than later. It was much nicer to sit out on the open deck and enjoy the wind in their faces and the warm sun beating down on their shoulders, so they removed their shirts to take advantage of the rays. Lil couldn’t help but notice the group of gay men across the aisle and the glimmer of interest that followed Grier’s every move. He scooted closer to Grier and put his arm around the brown shoulders, laughing loudly when he received a thumbs-up from one of the guys, followed by a lewd pantomime of a blow job on the neck of a Corona.
“What’s so funny?”
“That queen over there is green with envy because I have you right where I want you.”
Grier slanted a glance at the guy and grinned. “Shall we put on a show?”
“Nah… we’re almost there.”
Fisherman’s Wharf was its usual crowded self, exploding with tourists who milled about in a frantic need to spend money. They stopped at one of the food booths that lined the sidewalk to have some clam chowder and share a Dungeness crab the vendor had been gracious enough to crack for them. They tore at the sourdough bread that had come with the meal and wolfed everything down in record time.
“That was delicious,” Grier remarked. “I didn’t realize how hungry I was.”
“Me too,” Lil said with a nod, passing over some of
the Wet Ones they’d been handed to wipe the fishy smell off their fingers. “Let’s go and buy Luca his present.”
“Good idea,” Grier said. “I think I’d like to buy him a replica of a cable car.”
“Does he like cars?”
“Do you know any little boy who doesn’t?”
“I don’t know any little boys except for him. I gather he likes cars?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, let’s do it.”
By the time they climbed into the Mercedes for the trip home, they had the miniature cable car, a blue sweatshirt with the Golden Gate Bridge embroidered on the front, and a small box of See’s Lollypops in assorted flavors.
Lil drove with the ease of a local, navigating the side streets to avoid the crush, and they ended up in front of an apartment building on Pine Street, where Brandy lived.
“Is she expecting you?”
“I sent her a text from the boat.”
“I’ll wait here.”
Lil returned with an animal carrying case and a very disgruntled cat that meowed and hissed when Grier tried to stick a finger into the wire mesh to stroke his nose. He yanked his hand back before Sebastian could sink his canines into him. “Testy fellow, isn’t he?”
“He’s having a tantrum.”
“I guess so.”
When they got home, Lil let Sebastian out of the cage. He went straight to his corner in the kitchen and began lapping at the water in the pet fountain that dispensed a filtered supply in a regulated stream. He nibbled on the tuna-flavored kibble Lil had left for him before leaving on the tour, and Grier noticed Sebastian’s long white tail swishing gently back and forth as he crunched on his food.
“He’ll probably crawl on your lap, now that he knows he’s back home, and he’s been fed and watered,” Lil remarked.
“Luca would love him.”
“He is pretty. You want to go and have dinner at Alex’s place?”
“I don’t care. I’m open to any and all suggestions.”
“I’ll give him a call. You want to take a shower?”
“Sex, shave, and shower,” Grier recited. “In that order, please.”
LIL HAD not exaggerated when he touted the fine cuisine that came out of his friend’s kitchen. The hearty Beef Bourguignon, heavily laced with red wine, had chunks of red potatoes and carrots and was served with crusty bread that came out warm from the oven. They ate with gusto and didn’t stop to chat until they had wiped their bowls clean. “What’s your plan of attack?” Lil asked, leaning back in the upholstered chair while the waiter poured freshly brewed coffee into their cups before getting the layer cake they were going to share for dessert.
“First I have to tell my dad what’s going on. He deserves to know before anyone else.”
“And then what?”
“Then I go and lay my cards on the table at the Garcias’.”
“Have you thought about what this revelation will do to Ali? He may not want to marry Jillian after he finds out she’s slept with you.”
“I can’t keep thinking of everyone else’s feelings, or I’ll end up doing nothing. My primary concern is Luca. I want him to be happy, and I believe I can do that much better than anyone else.”
“They know how much you care.”
“Jillian knows, as do her parents, but we’re talking about joint custody. I have to convince everyone that I’m more than able to support him. I’m going to have to make some drastic changes for Luca.”
“Such as?”
“I want to get my own place. I can’t continue to live with my father, but maybe I can find an apartment in Elk Grove. This way, he’ll be close to my dad and his other grandparents. We can continue to share him in the childcare rotation. He’ll be able to stay in the same school district.”
“Aren’t Jillian and Ali going to live in the city?”
“I don’t see why they would. Jillian works in Elk Grove. It makes more sense for Ali to commute, and not her.”
“You seem to have this all worked out except for one thing.”
Grier bit his lip and focused on a spot over Lil’s head rather than see the pain in the blue eyes. “I have to do what’s best for my boy,” Grier said softly. “Don’t you understand that?”
“Of course,” Lil replied. “I know he comes first.”
Grier shook his head. “What we have is special, and I’ve never felt this connection to anyone before, but my life is in Illinois, Lil. They would never consider giving me part custody if I told them I was moving to San Francisco.”
“You don’t know that for a fact. Couples separate, move apart, and still manage to share their children.”
“You’re talking about a traditional relationship between a man and a woman. I don’t know how two gay men will fare in court. I don’t live in Iowa or Massachusetts.”
“I don’t either, Grier, but this is a moot point if you’re not willing to have me in your life.”
“I want you in my life, but I need to make sure it won’t jeopardize my son.”
“Would you even consider living with me?” Lil asked.
“In Chicago?”
“I don’t see how that’s possible,” Lil said. “I have a thriving business.”
“You’re making me choose, Lil.”
“I’m trying not to, Grier. I want to know what you’re thinking.”
“I’m thinking of Luca. I want him to share a home with me, someplace where people don’t flip out when Bianca scratches the furniture. I want to hear him call me Dad instead of Tito. I don’t ever want to worry about him being hungry or alone because Ali and Jillian are so caught up in their quest for the almighty dollar they forget he’s around.”
Lil stared at him without saying a word.
“I can’t think about our future until my present situation is resolved,” Grier said. “I’m sorry. I know you want to hear something else, but I can’t make any kind of offer or commitment right now.”
Lil removed the napkin from his lap and folded it into a neat square. “Let’s table this, shall we? No point in ruining what little time we have left.”
Grier reached for the leather folder that contained the bill. He removed it from Lil’s trembling hand well aware that he’d upset the normally unflappable blond.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” Lil said, heading for the restroom.
Grier wished he could say something to erase the pain he’d just inflicted. However, they’d known this ending was inevitable. They’d known from the beginning. Still, he never thought it would hurt this much.
LIL WAS silent on the ride home after his meltdown in the men’s room. It was a moment of weakness he’d sworn to avoid, especially in front of Grier. It wouldn’t do to shake Grier’s resolve now that he’d finally decided to move forward. Lil knew in his heart that letting Grier go, without putting any pressure on him, was the only way they could possibly have a future. He would not resort to emotional blackmail to keep him around. It was petty, immature, and counterproductive. He had to hope that whatever they shared would be strong enough to endure a separation, and if fate continued to work in their favor, as it had from the beginning, they would reunite. Grier’s mention of a move to Chicago had been unexpected but had planted a seed he’d never considered.
Their lovemaking took on a desperate quality that night due to Grier’s imminent departure in approximately twenty-four hours. Lil had managed to change Grier’s flight to depart the next evening around midnight which put him in Chicago early Friday morning, just in time for breakfast. It would give Grier a chance to confess everything to his father before he approached Jillian and her parents. Having Santino’s support was imperative since Grier hoped his father would be the bridge between him and the older Garcias. After all, Grier had stated, they’d been friends for over twenty years. Surely that counted for something.
Lil had to agree that there was logic to Grier’s reasoning, even if he resented their abbreviated visit. He had hoped to show him more of the city
, but right now all he could think of was keeping Grier close at hand. He savored every kiss, searing the experience into his memory as if it were the last time they would be together. He luxuriated in Grier’s touch and allowed the younger man to be the aggressor tonight. He let him orchestrate every move, soaking up the tenderness and studied caresses, knowing this was Grier’s only means of demonstrating his love. Words would have made the separation easier, and lifted his spirits considerably, but Grier remained silent, stubbornly hanging onto the admission. He answered Lil’s words of love with torrid kisses instead.
They spent the next day in and out of bed, only breaking to shower, change the sheets, and eat. It was a sexual marathon the likes of which Lil hadn’t experienced in years, and despite the age difference, he’d managed to keep up with his randy young lover, who was determined to leave Lil with a lingering taste of what could be possible if they ended up a couple.
They strolled around Lafayette Park around six in the evening holding hands and cooing like the pigeons that settled around them as they sat on the wooden bench. “I’m going to miss you so much,” Grier admitted. “I don’t know how I’ll get through the next few days without you.”
“I’ll be a phone call away, love. Call me anytime, night or day, if you need to talk or hear me tell you how much you mean to me.”
Grier leaned into Lil silently and pressed his nose against the hollow between Lil’s neck and shoulder, inhaling his scent. “You smell so good.”
“I didn’t think I managed to wash away the smell of sex.”
“It’s a good smell,” Grier teased. “I wish I could bottle it and bring it back with me.”
“Grier….”
“I know, Lil.”
“Don’t ever forget.”
“I won’t.”
THEY HAD dinner at a small restaurant on Union Street to take a short break and replenish their depleted fluids so that they could go back to the apartment and have another round of sex before Grier left for the airport. This time he dressed for Lil, going all out for his lover, who enjoyed the playacting as much as he did. He wore black stockings held up by a garter belt that cinched his slim waist. The black lace thong barely covered his engorged package, and Lil could see a dark stain seeping through the fabric as Grier’s arousal bloomed. He wore the black vest Lil had purchased for him, black elbow-length gloves with the fingers cut out, and a black, leather ball cap turned back to front to top it off. His multicolored tattoos spilled down his arm and torso, breaking up the monochromatic backdrop. Lil gravitated toward Grier, captivated by the sight of his lover in leather and lace. He begged Grier to let him take a photo, several in fact, to sustain him while Grier was gone.
Dreamspinner Press Year Four Greatest Hits Page 150
