Virgin

by Gadziala, Jessica

  I expected them to object, to fight, to demand not to be left out. This group of headstrong women who had been on a mission just a moment before. But to my surprise, they all turned in unison, Peyton slipping her arm through mine, half pulling me away, leading me back down the street where we all shuffled into the car.

  Lou, this time in the driver's seat, didn't immediately turn the car over.

  "He was Third Street," she said in a small voice after locking the doors. "Right?" she asked, looking to Lenny in the passenger seat for confirmation.

  "I didn't get a great look, but I'm pretty sure I've seen him around, yeah."

  "And he was on the wrong side of town," Liv agreed.

  "What am I missing?" I asked, all of them seeming to have some sort of silent conversation without me.

  "This town is territorial," Peyton supplied. "Everyone stays away from the docks but the Grassis. Everyone stays away from Third Street except members of the gang. And everyone stays away from Henchmen turf but Henchmen. Especially if they are dealing drugs."

  "And even more so if they are selling date-rape drugs," Lenny added. "It never ends."

  "What doesn't?"

  "Club drama," Lou explained. "There are periods of peace followed by some kind of situation that has everyone on lockdown or partial lockdown. Or has the men tearing out of town, strapped down. Making all the women worry until they get back."

  "Come on," Peyton said, suddenly a voice of reason. "Sean said to get back to my place. Let's move."

  Girls night started with a humorous high, hit interesting levels of anxiety, then agitation, then worry.

  You could feel it in the air as we got back to Peyton's place, all of us huddled in her living room, episodes of Angel playing on the TV, but everyone seemed to be staring through the TV instead of at it.

  I couldn't claim to understand their fears, not knowing nearly as much about the town, about the organizations, about how they all interacted, to know what this issue with selling drugs on Henchmen territory meant in the long run.

  But the others, well, they seemed to have a lot to think about.

  Hours passed.

  The knock on the door made us all jolt.

  Peyton flew off the couch, knocking the strap-on off the table in the process, clearly excited to see Sugar, to know he was okay.

  "Oh," she said, sounding disappointed as she looked through the peephole. "New girl, you're up."

  I hopped up, moving into the doorway as Peyton pulled the locks and slid the door open.

  There was Ty.

  Injury-free from what I could tell.

  But there was something in his face that put me on pause, a hard set to his jaw, an uncertainty in his eyes.

  "We need to talk."

  His hand moved out, grabbing my wrist, pulling me outside with him.

  He looked back into the apartment. "Sugar will be here in a minute. If the rest of you want to head back to the clubhouse, you can," he added before turning, his hand slipping down to grab my hand, pulling me along with him.

  Ty said nothing as we made our way out of the building, across to the lot, then climbed on his bike.

  Uncertainty wobbled in my stomach as we rumbled down the street.

  Why did Ty need to speak to me?

  Of all people.

  Lou and Lenny and Peyton and Liv knew much more about this whole situation than I did.

  Maybe he just wanted to explain what I had seen, knowing that I was new to his lifestyle, that - what the records said aside - I knew nothing about crime. He could just want to soothe my nerves, make sure I wasn't freaking out.

  That, more than anything, made the most sense.

  Maybe his jaw was clenched because he was worried about what my response would be to what I had seen. Maybe his eyes were full of uncertainty because he didn't want me to freak out and leave over this.

  And, in all honesty, that made sense.

  Because that was how normal, sane people responded to seeing a beaten man dragged into a clubhouse to, as one might imagine, get beaten yet again. Maybe worse.

  I should have been horrified.

  Were he simply an innocent guy who had done nothing, I would have been.

  But I found I had very little pity for a man who was selling drugs that would allow other men to sedate and rape women.

  "Ty, what's going on?" I asked as his hand went to my lower back, leading me into the clubhouse where no one was around, save for Reign.

  "Go on," Reign said, giving Ty a nod.

  "Alright, so you know about this town and their different organizations..." Ty started.

  "I know that the man earlier was from Third Street. And that they were on your territory. And that someone has been selling date-rape drugs in town." I left off the part about Ty being the one to tell me all that.

  "Can't keep shit from those women," Reign murmured.

  "It didn't take too much thinking to put it all together," I informed him with a small smile. "You told all of them about watching their drinks. But... why am I here and not the others?"

  "Alright, so this club doesn't tolerate anyone working on our turf," Reign explained since Ty seemed hesitant to go on. "I especially don't put up with someone selling drugs on it. And that goes quad-fuckin'-drupal when it comes to shit like Easy Lay. So we have been keeping an eye out to confirm our suspicions. Tonight, Pagan and Sugar caught someone dealing just half a block away. They brought him in. For questioning," he went on, not even trying to make it sound like bloodshed wasn't a part of it.

  "Okay..." I said, looking at Ty, eyes questioning. Why the hell were they telling me all this? And not the others?

  "We wanted information on the new leader of the gang," Reign went on. "They have changed leadership a lot lately. We didn't know who is running the operation."

  "The guy told us that one of the guys who has been in the organization for the past eleven years decided to rise up," Ty pitched in, giving me the feeling that we were getting to the important part if he was the one finally telling it to me. "Someone who started when he was twenty. Had some unique ideas on how to sell the drugs without it being obvious what was going on. Someone with a spiderweb tattoo on the side of his neck."

  And there it was.

  Ten years charged back to me at once, knocking out my air, giving me the sensations of that day all over again.

  The unyielding, cold hood of the police car against my chest and stomach. The tightness of the cuffs around my wrists. The way his face had been utterly blank while my heart went just shy of in attack mode, my belly twisted painfully, my skin breaking out in a sweat, the fear making bile rise up in my throat.

  Betrayal.

  God, the betrayal.

  Nothing would ever feel like that day had.

  The day my life as I knew it ended.

  "He was here the whole time?" I asked, my voice sounding choked.

  The floor felt like it was crumbling underneath me, like the world was trying to suck me into its core.

  Ty's hand moved out, grabbing me under the elbow, keeping me steady.

  He'd been in town the whole time.

  Selling date-rape drugs.

  Ruining more lives.

  The anger, buried under those things I told myself wouldn't make a difference to my plans for revenge - hope, dreams, happiness, the ideas of a future, a sweet, budding relationship - came back with a vengeance, overtaking me completely.

  My hands curled.

  My teeth clenched.

  My skin started to buzz.

  "Breathe, baby girl," Ty demanded. "We're not done," he added. "I know that your plan when you came back was to do something about him. Track him down. Make him pay for what he stole from you. And I figure that revenge of yours had a lot to do with something that might have gotten you locked up again."

  "Ah, yeah," I admitted, something that made Ty smile a bit. "What?" I snapped a little, offended that he was amused by the idea.

  "Don't underestimate a fucked-over
woman," Reign butted in, sounding amused. "They are a force to be reckoned with."

  "Anyway, Reign and I figured maybe we could give you what you want, but in a way that won't make you give more of your life away."

  Were they offering to... take care of him for me?

  Why would they ask? Involve me? When they clearly wanted to handle the situation themselves?

  "Why are you running it by me?"

  "Because, I figure, it isn't a great way to start something with us by doing something behind your back. And what we have in mind isn't what you had in mind for him."

  "What does that mean?"

  "It means sometimes the best revenge is giving someone exactly what they gave you," Reign said. "I'm not in a place where I can judge you for wanting him to bleed for this. Trust me, I've been there. But you're free, babe. You don't want to throw that shit away on something as fleeting as revenge. And I don't think you're the sort who could do something like that without regret."

  "What is it that you guys have in mind?"

  "Reign knows someone in the NBPD who would like nothing better than to stop the date rape drugs on the streets."

  "You want to tell them what you know, catch him dealing, and put away for distribution."

  "Had Jstorm look into this Tanner fuck. He's been pulled in half a dozen times for possession. But they never caught him with enough on him to really put him away. With that on his record, they will throw the book at him," Reign told me.

  Throw the book at him.

  Like they'd done to me because of him.

  "It's the right revenge," Ty reasoned, seeming to think I was hesitant. "It's the same punishment for the same crime."

  "But he might get out in ten years, get right back on the street, doing all this again."

  "That's a problem for a decade from now, Freddie," Reign told me. "Don't take on tomorrow's problem right now."

  "I didn't want to take your revenge away from you. You give us the go, we'll call Lloyd. You don't think it's good enough, we'll handle it another way."

  Another way.

  They'd kill Tanner.

  For me.

  And not just any of them.

  It was Ty who would do it.

  He would get blood on his hands, take a life, take the risk of getting caught.

  For me.

  No matter my concerns about the future, Reign was right, that was a problem for then, not now. Now was the issue of Ty.

  And I didn't think we could have a future with a body between us. I would never forgive myself for letting him do that for me.

  "Call Lloyd," I said, voice not having enough conviction. "You're right. I wouldn't be able to go through with it myself. And I couldn't let you do it either. But he needs to pay for what he has done. Call the NBPD."

  "You're sure?" Reign asked.

  "I'm sure."

  "I might be able to persuade Lloyd to let you get a couple minutes in a room without a camera with the bastard," Reign suggested.

  "I'll think about that," I said with a small smile, oddly grateful for his interest in what would make me happiest. "Can I ask something?"

  "Sure," Reign agreed.

  "Putting Tanner away doesn't really fix the whole problem, does it?"

  "We'll see. Maybe someone else will step up and continue this shit. In which case, we'll have to handle it."

  "I mean with the date-rape drugs."

  "Those will stop," Reign said, voice suddenly fierce. "They can sell what they want to people who use it to ruin their own lives. They aren't going to be selling shit on these streets to ruin others. It's not just us who will have a problem with it either. Mallicks, Grassis, Hailstorm. No one is going to let that keep happening."

  "That's good to know," I agreed, giving him a small, grateful smile.

  It was half an hour later that Detective Lloyd showed up, casting a knowing look at Reign as I peeked out from the hallway. "So, I'm not going to ask of the fate of the man who gave you this information."

  "Not like you'd get a straight answer anyway," Reign agreed.

  "So, tell me how to get these drugs off the streets," Lloyd demanded, pretending to completely ignore that he was, essentially, in enemy territory, a place he knew was full of illegal guns, dirty money, and, well, who knew what else.

  "Come on," Ty said in a quiet voice, moving in behind me, wrapping an arm around my waist. With that, he led me into his room, dragging me down on the bed with him, tucking me in at his side. "You alright?"

  "I'll be better when I know he is not walking the same streets I am," I admitted. "But I'm glad to know it's going to happen soon."

  "Lloyd doesn't like working with us. Sometimes, he will look the other way, going after guys who do worse shit than us, but he doesn't like having to sit here and take advice from us. So it shows how hungry he is for this arrest. I imagine this will be done within the next week."

  "Hey Ty," I started, voice small after a long silence.

  "Yeah?"

  "Where's the guy? From earlier," I specified, knowing I probably wasn't supposed to ask questions like that, but not able to stop myself.

  "Chained to a bunk bed in the basement," Ty supplied without hesitation. "He will serve us better alive. But he can't go tattling back to his boss. So we will be holding onto him until Lloyd does his job."

  I could, oddly, live with that.

  It made sense.

  And it wasn't like the guy was innocent.

  "You think you're gonna wanna have some alone time with him?" Ty asked, voice hesitant.

  "I think I would like to lean against the hood of the squad car that will be taking him to county."

  "I'll make that happen."

  Nine days later, there I was.

  With Ty by my side.

  It was a day oddly similar to the one ten years before. The sun was out. The weather was warm, but not hot. I even had open-toe sandals on. Just like the ones I'd had on when I'd been arrested.

  Ty had gotten the call just half an hour before from Lloyd, telling us it was now or never. So we'd sped across town and got ourselves situated where we needed to be.

  Nerves skittered in my stomach, some part of me worried he might do something. But, really, what could he do? Even if he used his calls from county to get in contact with his gang, to try to put some hit out on me or something, there was nothing they could do. Not with the whole of every organization in town watching out for me.

  "All you, baby girl," Ty said, pressing a kiss to my temple before moving a few feet away as the door at the side of the station opened.

  All the times over the years that I thought on the idea of revenge, none of it compared to seeing Tanner, older, hair thinning, face riddled a bit with acne, far less carefree and attractive than he once had been, being led out of the police station with cuffs in front of him, flanked by a cop in blue and a newly familiar detective in a suit, one who shot me a small smirk as they came into view.

  I leaned back a little, wanting to go for casual, not wanting this to appear like what it actually was. A moment I had been anticipating for over a decade.

  The moment he got what he deserved.

  The moment he knew I was a part of it.

  Tanner's head raised, squinting a bit at the bright light after the dark of the building, not seeing me for a long moment.

  Then, even after his eyes landed on me, not recognizing for another long few heartbeats.

  His lips parted.

  His eyes widened.

  His feet forgot to keep moving forward.

  "Winifred?"

  "You took ten years of my life. I hear they're looking to take twenty-five of yours," I said, tone light, teasing even.

  "You bitch. You fucking bitch," he hissed, lunging despite his arms being held, his hands being chained.

  Ty moved in, closing in at my side. And Tanner's eyes moved over him, taking in his cut, the badge on his chest, realizing who I had aligned myself with. That he would never get revenge on me.

>   It was an amazing thing to witness a man whose life slipped away right before his eyes.

  Humbling almost.

  Since I knew that feeling all-too-well.

  And even though he deserved it, even though I had earned it, I didn't take the pleasure from it that I thought I would.

  "Thanks, Detective Lloyd," I offered before standing up straight, nudging Ty.

  "You ready?" he asked.

  Looking over, I took a good, hard look at this man. The one who accepted me without question. The one who urged me to heal a rocky relationship with my brother. Who helped me land a job. Who took things at my pace. Who got me an iPod and loaded it down with all the good songs I missed while I was away. Who proudly introduced me to his buddies. Who helped me get a bad man who ruined my life off the streets.

  Was I ready to go with him?

  To the ends of the Earth.

  Through the bowels of hell.

  To, possibly, our own unexpected, lovely, happily ever after?

  Abso-freaking-lutely.

  EPILOGUE

  Virgin - 3 weeks

  Lou was hanging out on the couch in the living room, a heating pad on her stomach, three blankets on top of her, but one whole leg stubbornly sticking out.

  I stood there in the doorway, not knowing if I wanted to head out there. Lou was unpredictable when she didn't feel great.

  I was about to turn around when I saw West come out of the kitchen, making a beeline for Lou.

  Letting out a sigh, I stayed put, figuring West was about to say the wrong thing to the wrong woman on the wrong day. I was going to be picking up pieces of him later if I didn't stick around to deescalate the situation.

  West moved toward the coffee table, dropping down low. Almost like a bow.

  A mug of coffee met the surface of the table off a tray he was holding. Then a pile of cookies. A bag of chips. A beer. And a bottle of pills.

  The fuck was he doing?

  Even as the thought formed, he ducked his head, studying his feet as he slowly backed out of the room, disappearing back into the kitchen as Lou reached toward the table, popping the top off the bottle, tossing some into her mouth, washing it down with the coffee.

  The bottle turned, label out.