Virgin

by Gadziala, Jessica

  Surprised, caught off-guard, my hands loosened.

  Just enough for her hands to slide out.

  It happened too fast for me even to react.

  Her hands free, she cocked her arm, catching me in the jaw with her elbow with enough force to make me rear back, the crack sending off sparks of pain through my jaw, mouth, teeth. Using the opportunity, her foot finally found my hipbone, cracking in hard, knocking me off, onto my ass.

  She was up in a blink, shoving her hands into my shoulders as her hips slammed down on mine, pinning me to the ground.

  On top of me as pain ricocheted off my nerve endings, her face victorious, proud, beaming, she was the sexiest fucking thing I had ever seen.

  "You're supposed to run," I reminded her, my hands settling in at her hips.

  Her smile went slow, sly, as her body folded forward to press against mine, her lips pressing into the spot below my ear as her hips ground down into me.

  "You want me to run?" she asked, voice low, teasing.

  It was right then that I realized two things.

  Training turned her on.

  And I suddenly had absolutely no objection to it.

  Freddie - 1 year

  Okay.

  I was being picky.

  I will admit that.

  And, judging by Ty's defeated look, I didn't even have to.

  We'd been looking at places.

  As in to move into.

  Together.

  It was time. We'd spent pretty much every night - save for when he was on a run - together since we had started officially dating. But it was always at the clubhouse where there was next to no privacy, or Thad's apartment that felt a lot more crowded lately since he finally found his upside-down-feeling person.

  Had you told me that a tall, skinny, cardigan-wearing, glasses-clad, economics professor would be the one to steal his huge - albeit carefully guarded - heart, I would have laughed in your face.

  But Olwen Doyle had been his first back-to-back.

  Then his first week-ender.

  Then his first meet-the-family-at-a-formal-introduction guy.

  Until, finally, four months into dating, they decided it was time to move in together. And since Olwen's place was a shoebox in a crummy area a long drive away from the college, it made sense for them to shack up at Thad's apartment. Where they promptly adopted a bright orange flat-faced cat with unsettling yellow eyes named Odette who silently judged everything you did.

  After a couple months of awkward 'we heard you having sex last night' morning interactions, Ty had been the one to suggest it was time to get our own place.

  Then probably just as promptly regretted it.

  I'd dragged us to eighteen places in seven days.

  Some were great, but too far from the clubhouse and my job.

  Some were just around the corner, but had noisy neighbors or terrible light or too small of a backyard.

  See, my mind was on things other than a house where we could have sex without being overheard.

  There needed to be at least two bedrooms.

  And a yard to play in.

  Because, well, while I hadn't taken a test yet, I was late. And I was never late. You could set national calendars based on the regularity of my schedule. First, the craving for sweeter coffee. Then pizza, always settling for pizza bagels instead of ordering in. The telltale soreness. The cramps. Then finally, the big event.

  It never mattered what was going on in life, it came as expected since I was fifteen-years-old.

  I was going on three weeks late.

  I didn't want to settle for a smaller space, only to have to upgrade with a baby or toddler in a year or two.

  "Just this last one today, I promise," I consoled him. "Then I will make you something to eat."

  "Two courses," he demanded, rolling his neck as we climbed back into my car which I had proudly bought with my own money after six months of working. Sure, it was three-times used. The back seat had stains that no upholstery cleaner could fix. And the radio came and went. But it was mine. I bought it. I took care of it. Took it for its oil changes. At Repo's garage. Because he, apparently, got butt-hurt if you paid for it at another place.

  If Ty thought it was weird that I insisted on the car instead of the bike all the time, he didn't mention it.

  We would get there.

  I just wanted to be sure first.

  "Done," I agreed, thinking of what was in the fridge and cabinets as we drove two blocks over. Still walking distance from the clubhouse. In fact, it was just one street behind where a bunch of the other club members bought houses, nearly owning their entire neighborhood.

  It was a quiet street of starter homes - nothing with a second floor, everything with quaint fifth of an acre lots.

  The one we were going to see was the last, on the corner that butted up to the back of a soccer field where there used to be little league games when I was growing up. I imagined there still were every weekend. It was a craftsman style painted a sweet gray-blue color with all white trim. I knew from the online advertisement that it was just shy of twelve-hundred square feet with three bedrooms, one oversized bath, and a basement that could easily be converted into more living space.

  I knew before we even got out of the car.

  "This is it, huh?" Ty asked, moving to stand next to me at the side of the car, looking at the small front porch where I could see us standing in the morning, waiting for our son or daughter to get on the school bus, waving to us from the window.

  "This is it," I agreed.

  "Alright. Let me go find the realtor."

  I went to laugh at that.

  It wasn't that easy.

  There could be other offers.

  There was the matter of loans and mortgage affordability quotes.

  But, as it turned out, when someone was willing to pay cash at ten grand over the asking price, it really was that easy.

  His arms wrapped around me when the tears - hormonal, they had to be hormonal, right? - Welled up in my eyes. "I love you," I told his chest, feeling it to a depth I never knew existed before.

  "Love you too, babe," he said, kissing the top of my hair, his hands moving comfortingly over my back for a long minute before sinking into my ass playfully, making me laugh as I pulled away.

  "Gonna have to put a swing set up," Ty told me as we climbed back in the car, making my head whip over, my surprise clear on my face. "I'm a lot of things, babe, dense isn't one of them. Haven't touched the pizza bagels. Eased up on the coffee. Won't ride on my bike anymore. Being picky as fuck about the house 'cause you know we need extra room and a yard. When were you planning on telling me?"

  "When I knew for sure," I told him, shrugging it away.

  "Well, let's stop on the way home," he suggested. "Let's get sure."

  That night after eating pork chops with sides of mashed potatoes and green beans, while waiting for the banana bread to bake, we both huddled in the bathroom, me on the toilet lid, Ty on the edge of the tub, waiting for the timer.

  According to the box, one meant nothing.

  And life could go on as usual

  Two meant we were about to be three.

  Sure enough, life as we knew it was about to change.

  The next morning, I rolled over to find Ty in bed.

  With a diamond ring.

  Virgin - 2 years

  Roan came flying up the stairs, not even remembering to close the front door on the way out in his hurry.

  It seemed the storm he had been waiting for had finally blown into town.

  Virgin - 3 years

  If there was one person I never expected to see walking into The Henchmen clubhouse, it was my brother-in-law.

  Not Thad.

  He always showed up when some big event was going on.

  But Colson.

  The man who approved of my love of his sister, of the life we had started, the family we were building.

  But never my lifestyle.

  "Colso
n, everything alright?" I asked, getting to my feet as Sugar sent me a lowered brow look.

  "Can we talk?" he asked, voice weighted. It was then I noticed the tension. In his jaw. His shoulders. His hands were clenched down by his sides. "In private?" he added, looking around at Sugar, West, Cam, and Edison.

  "Sure. Let's take a walk out back," I agreed. "What's going on?" I asked as soon as we were halfway into the backyard.

  "I don't have anywhere else to turn."

  "What's wrong?"

  Both his hands rose, scraping up his forehead, over the top of his head.

  "I lost my job."

  He lost another job.

  He used to have the security job at a club at night, but the owner had gone belly-up, closing without a warning, holding their last paychecks hostage.

  That had been less than a month ago.

  And I knew that he must have already been hurting financially.

  Neither job paid that much. He paid a lot in rent to live in a nice area of town so he could send Jelly to a good school. He had her dance classes. And lately, karate. Freddie had suggested it, had wanted to give it to her niece as a gift, but Colson was a man with a lot of pride. He had insisted on paying for it himself. He also had a savings he put away for her college.

  So losing one of the jobs had to have made him hurt.

  Losing the second one must have been devastating.

  "Downsizing?"

  "Someone fucking accused me of stealing," he told me, his breath a savage hiss. "Me. Been there forever. Never even took a ketchup packet home. But they are sure it was me. Fired just like that. No reference. And, to be perfectly honest - and it fucking kills me to admit this - I was already hurting."

  "That's fucked, man," I told him, shaking my head. "I'm sorry to hear that."

  "Don't make me beg," he demanded.

  Beg?

  My head twisted to look at him. Seeing the desperation, the uncertainty, but also the determination.

  And I understood.

  I had once told Freddie that if he ever needed a better-paying job, more security for him and his daughter, to get in touch with me.

  This man, who so completely disapproved of my lifestyle, wanted to sign up.

  "I'll talk to Reign," I assured him, clapping a hand on his shoulder. "My word will go a long way. So as long as you don't change your mind, I figure you will have a weight off in a few days."

  The numbers of the club were decent.

  Reign didn't want to get much bigger.

  But he would do this as a favor for me so long as Colson got through an interview and prospecting.

  "I won't change my mind," he assured me with absolute certainty.

  He didn't either.

  I could see it the moment Reign handed him the cut.

  The weight that got lifted from his shoulders, a weight he had been shouldering for years. Near poverty and single parenthood full of uncertainty and stress.

  He wouldn't have to worry about money again.

  About taking care of Jelly.

  About not being able to get out of work when she was sick or off from school.

  He was set.

  Because he was now a Henchmen.

  Freddie - 10 years

  "Rune, get your turtle off your plate."

  Motherhood, it seemed, consisted of sleepless nights, endless worries, annoying cartoons on obnoxious repeat, and saying a bunch of phrases you never could have imagined yourself saying before.

  Especially, I imagined, when you chose to raise a small litter.

  We were on four.

  Rune, our oldest, a wildlife lover who spent most of his free time over at Rey's place, playing with animals. And, apparently, bringing some of them home too.

  Then there were the twin girls. Aged five. Zora and Jovie. Who I swear loved their Uncle Thaddeus more than me.

  Then, finally, two-year-old Carver. Who still loved me best. Bless his heart.

  "He's hungry too," Rune insisted.

  "He can eat in his tank."

  "He's part of the family too."

  "Let me get the kid a dog," Ty whispered to me as he passed. "It would stop all the little critters."

  He'd had them all.

  Hamsters of the dwarf and full-size varieties.

  Guinea pigs.

  Hermit crabs.

  Mice.

  "The cage cleaning is worse than the upkeep of a dog," he added.

  He wasn't wrong about that. I spent a couple hours every week cleaning out cages and tanks and making specialized meals for all his creatures.

  I had been worried about a dog knocking over Carver who was still a little unsteady on his feet. I figured it would be something to look into in another year or two.

  But maybe it wasn't fair to Rune to deny him something he would absolutely get a lot of joy out of because of his brother.

  "Something small," I specified. "And don't say anything until Rey finds something. Otherwise, we'll never hear the end of it."

  "Knock knock," Thad's voice called, cutting off whatever Ty was about to say.

  "Uncle Thad!" Zora and Jovie said in unison, hopping off their chairs it had taken me twenty minutes to make them sit down in for breakfast.

  "And Uncle Olly," Thad added, moving inside. "And someone else."

  Honestly, I expected their cat.

  Who they brought everywhere.

  I never thought it was possible for Thad to keep a secret. He was far too into attention, in being the center of every conversation.

  He couldn't keep it to himself when he got a wax, or when he and Olwen tried a new sex position, or when he had a really fantastic brunch somewhere.

  But, apparently, he could keep some things secret.

  Big things.

  Like the baby hopped up on his hip.

  It all came back to me at once. The way Thad had been more distant lately. The way the guest room door at their apartment was stubbornly closed when it was always empty. The extra classes Thad was taking on at the gym, earning money I didn't think he truly needed for anything. And, of course, their mini-vacation they took last weekend.

  It wasn't a vacation at all.

  It was a trip to pick up a little girl with huge brown eyes in a doll-like face.

  "Oh, my God," I gasped, settling Carver on the floor, forgetting all about cutting up apples and pears to go with the oatmeal I was supposed to be making. "Why didn't you tell us?"

  "Like you told us?" Thad shot back, still a little salty about the fact that we hadn't told anyone the news until we were almost five months along.

  "That was different," I insisted, moving close, leaning down to give the baby a smile which she returned easily, without hesitation.

  "Mmhmm," Thad said, rolling his eyes. "Anyway, this is Bea. Her birth mother named her Beatrice," he clarified. "But we like Bea better."

  "She's beautiful."

  "She sure is," he agreed, leaning into Olwen who automatically put an arm around his husband, rubbing the side of his face against Thad's.

  "You're going to be an amazing daddy," I told him, meaning it from somewhere deep.

  "I've had a lot of practice," he brushed the praise off. Something the Thad he had been a decade ago never would have said.

  A decade.

  I had hardly even noticed the passing of it.

  The same span of time that I had lost inside a prison.

  It was amazing how much had changed.

  Thad had shaken off his singleness, had found the man of his dreams, had started his own family.

  Colson had become a Henchmen. He had found a woman who made his family complete. Jelena went from the cutest little girl to the most beautiful young woman. Who could dance like a swan. Or kick your ass if you looked at her wrong.

  I had a strong, amazing, unexpected support system of fantastic female friends who could seem to sense when I was at my wits end being shacked up with all the kids, and show up at my door with coffee, with new craft projects to keep the
kids busy, and would sit with me, having adult conversation that solidified the brain that started to go to mush when all it had to think about was diapers and laundry and if the new show the twins were into was mildly sexist or bully-promoting or not.

  There were the men too, a whole new, giant group of brothers. The kind who would change the oil in my car without having to be asked. Who all showed up on the day when a giant swing set arrived, ready to get it all together. Who all happily watched the kids when the girls all wanted to go train at Hailstorm.

  And, of course, then there was the best of all the men.

  At least in my little opinion.

  Ty.

  It was hard to believe it had been a decade. It felt like last month when we had been cuddled in bed after our first night together, eating brownies right out of the baking tray. Just last week that we shopped for houses and watched a stick tell us our lives would never be the same.

  He'd been right there in the room, letting me nearly break his hand as we welcomed Rune into the world.

  He'd dried my cheeks after an epic meltdown when, suddenly, at just three months, Rune refused to breastfeed any longer, and we needed to switch to bottles.

  He'd wrangled Jovie in front of him while I worked on Zora, both of us carefully styling their hair as quickly as possible.

  He would sit up with me after we put all the kids to bed, exhausted, but not ready for sleep, wanting some adult time to just exist.

  In the mornings, we would take our coffee out to the front porch while Carver played in the gated living room, waving as the bus took Rune, Zora, and Jovie to school.

  We'd created a life from what had felt like - at the time - impossible odds.

  We'd become the couple I never thought I could have.

  We'd become the parents the world had denied us.

  He'd been the man I hadn't even let myself dream about.

  And more.

  So much had changed.

  And I was so incredibly thankful.

  "Bitch," Thaddeus said in a low voice, hip free of his new daughter, "what in the actual fuck are you wearing?"