One Taste

by Cari Quinn

  He’d backed his truck up beside the faded structure and immediately tackled the tangle of orders as well as the packaging from the moving company. For hours he got lost in the organization of the barn, in carving a space for himself within the dumping grounds of the catchall barn filled with extra furniture and wood.

  He itched to work, but he needed a clean spot to do that. He built shelving units for his tools and the various discarded appliances that had been in the kitchen at one time or another.

  Lily dropped him off a carafe of coffee and plate of sandwiches without a word. He could feel her curious gaze, but she managed not to ask questions.

  He wasn’t sure if was out of loyalty for the silence between him and Kendall or because she wasn’t sure what to make of him yet. Probably a mix of both.

  By ten that night, not even his flood work lights could keep him awake. After a painfully quick shower, he vowed to fix the water heater the next morning. Again he fell into a dreamless sleep and woke at dawn to work on the barn before heading into town for a water heater.

  Kendall brought him two breakfast sandwiches and a carafe of black coffee. She watched for a few minutes before heading behind the barn to the dock. Part of him wanted to follow her, to see the spot she talked about so much, and the other part of him couldn’t stand any more disappointments when it came to her.

  So he stayed away.

  And he worked until he didn’t have to think. Until he was able to stop wanting Kendall for a little while. He added a new smart water heater. It would increase efficiency in the house and bring down her utility bill.

  Their utility bill.

  He put one foot in front of the other and made a list of projects to do to increase the value of the property. Kendall left every morning at seven and returned sometimes as late as seven in the evening.

  They passed each other in the hall, outside the bathroom, and occasionally in the kitchen. But they kept separate lives. Lily fed him and left him lists for when he went into town. He finalized the orders he’d created with the koa wood and began renovations on the barn. He framed out a room for himself over the workshop.

  Living in the B and B and so close to Kendall messed with his brain. He hoped that if he made a completely separate spot, then he could begin to work her out of his system. Maybe the love deal had been just the hazy side of lust.

  Remarkably he was able to sleep at night. He had a feeling it was because he worked until he hit a wall and had no choice but to blink out and recharge. If he hit that wall, then he didn’t dream about her. He didn’t wake up reaching for her.

  If he rolled out of bed and got right to work, he didn’t even have to see her before she left in the morning. And if he didn’t see her, he didn’t wonder why she was working away from the house. And he didn’t care that she didn’t come to see him either.

  As November bled into December, he got the barn converted into a true workshop. He’d built a bunk over the office and could finally get out from under the Heron’s roof and into a space of his own.

  Shane headed up the side stairs to his room. It was two in the afternoon, and Lily would be watching her television shows. She was the ultimate morning person, scrubbing the house to an inch of its life so she could enjoy her soaps and talk shows in the later part of the day.

  It was amazing how quickly he’d moved into a schedule without actually speaking to her. He didn’t know what the hell to say, and Lily seemed to know he needed his space. It worked for them.

  He loaded up his duffel bag with his clothes and toiletries, and just as he slung it over his shoulder, Kendall filled the doorway with a stack of towels and fresh sheets.

  “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t know you were in the house.”

  “I was just leaving.”

  She glanced at his bag, her huge dark eyes slowly surveying the room. “You’re really leaving.” There was no question, just a resigned statement.

  “Just moving into the barn. I also updated the Web site with new pictures of the front of the house. I hope that means we’ll get a few requests. I want to get out of your hair.”

  “You’re not in my hair.”

  He shrugged. “Out of Lily’s.”

  “She likes having someone to take care of.”

  Shane lifted a brow. “She has you.”

  “You let her mother you.”

  “I do not.”

  An almost Kendall smile tipped up the corner of her wide mouth. “You do. Hey, if someone else is doing the honey-do list, then I’m all for it.”

  “Speaking of which, you haven’t been around much.”

  “I temp during the slow season to make some extra money.”

  He frowned. She shouldn’t have to do extra jobs. He jammed his hand into his pocket so he didn’t do something stupid like grab her and make her realize that. “But not today?”

  “No, it’s decorating day. First we have to clean all the rooms.”

  “Your mother keeps every room sparkling.”

  “Agreed, but Christmas is her deal, so I have to do what I’m told.” She held up deep-green-and-white towels. “Christmas towels. But I guess it doesn’t matter now.”

  He stood in front of her and flicked a blonde curl over her shoulder. He was playing with fire, but she was there in front of him, and he couldn’t stop himself. Not when her apple scent rolled through his room—his former room—and reminded him of just what he’d been missing for the last few weeks.

  She closed her eyes. “Don’t.”

  “Don’t what?” He stroked his thumb under her chin and along her jawline until he felt her pulse flutter wildly.

  “Don’t make me want you again.”

  “You stopped?”

  She swallowed, and he could feel the muscles of her throat work. He lowered his mouth to her temple. Her orchard flavor mixed with the fresh linens in her arms. It made him think of Sunday-morning sunshine when he caught her hanging the laundry.

  He stepped back, even as his cock screamed at him to move forward instead. To lay claim to her mouth, to stretch her out on his bed and lift her arms above her head and watch her break apart in the diffused winter sun.

  He wanted it way too much. And he couldn’t invite that back into his life. Not when he was working so hard to separate himself.

  KENDALL WATCHED HIM walk away. Her chest ached with the need to call him back. Already the room was empty without him. The little toiletries that dotted his dresser, the clothes hanging in the closet, his extra pair of work boots—all of them were gone.

  Just how long before he’d be gone too?

  Resolutely she put the towels in the bathroom and stripped his bed. The lingering wisp of cedar chips ripped into her. She sat on the bed and pulled his pillow forward and buried her face in his scent.

  No. Not again. She stood and shook out the pillowcase until the feather pillow landed in the chair with a thud. When the bed was stripped, she snapped out fresh sheets.

  The last three weeks had been a lesson in self-control. She decided she pretty much sucked at it. The nights were the worst. Even working twelve hours a day wasn’t enough to banish him.

  She appreciated the new water heater, but she was still taking cold showers out of necessity. She woke with his name on her lips, his phantom hands on her body, and an orgasm teasing the edges of her sanity.

  Even a hot shower and taking care of herself didn’t do the job.

  She was going to go mad if she didn’t figure out a way to make him see that she hadn’t lied to him on purpose. She finished making the bed and tossed the dirty sheets in the laundry chute. Before she could talk herself out of it, she hit the stairs at a dead run.

  The cold December air slapped her in the face. She stormed across the driveway to the barn. Shane’s lathe was on, and a pile of sawdust sprinkled over his boots. A spindle took shape as he worked his chisel up and down the length.

  That wasn’t helping.

  She waited at the door for him to turn it off, and he tossed his glasses o
n the workbench. She crossed the room before she could talk herself out of it, then hooked her arms around his neck. She laid her lips on his. At first there was no response.

  Shane stood there as still as one of the carvings he had on his shelf.

  Then his fingers fisted into the back of her shirt, and he dragged her against him. She gave a sighing moan as the hard length of him pressed into her belly. He lifted her and dropped her on a metal workbench on the far side of the room.

  His mouth was relentless on her neck and collarbone. He peeled up the bottom of her shirt, his teeth capturing her nipple on the reveal of her plum-colored bra.

  He moaned around the stiff tip and flipped her cups up with the sweater until both were hanging around her neck. He went from one breast to the other, taking care to suck both of her nipples into aching points.

  He pulled her to the edge of the table and stripped her of her jeans. His green eyes were wild and his jaw hard as granite. She kicked off one pant leg. He pushed aside the elastic of her panties, and then he was finally there—inside her.

  The metal table rocked with the force of his thrusts. She cried out and took each one like a punishment. Her swollen heat clasped around him and held him tight as he ground against her pelvis.

  Her nails bit into his shoulder, and the smoky scent of sawdust drifted up with the musky scent of them together. She whispered his name, her knees flexing at his hips as she took every thrust.

  She came so hard her teeth rattled. And when she opened her eyes, Shane’s fierce and focused face burned itself in her memory. He lifted her knee higher and slid just that much deeper into her, and then she heard the guttural groan as he filled her.

  Unable to stay upright, she dropped her forehead onto his shoulder.

  “Shane.”

  He backed up, and she locked her legs around his hips. “No. Don’t go.”

  “Kendall, I have to.”

  Sunshine. She missed the soft, gravelly way he’d say Sunshine like it was an endearment. “I’m sorry.” Her voice broke. “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you to want to be here without it being a perfect bed-and-breakfast. I just didn’t want to lose you.”

  “Or the Heron,” he said quietly.

  “No. I don’t want to lose my home either.”

  He slid his hands along her knees and pulled her away from his hips. Feeling exposed, she jumped down and jerked her jeans back on. Turning away from him, she fixed her bra and sweater.

  From the outside she didn’t look any different. Inside, she knew she was changed yet again. The disappointment in his voice scooped out the pleasure and left it with the sawdust on the ground.

  “I don’t know what to say to make you understand why I did what I did.”

  “I was all the way in. And now I just don’t know.” He tipped his head back. “Now all I see are the things that need to be done. And all the return we’ll never get.”

  She clenched her fists. Return on the business or them? “Don’t you have any faith?”

  “I thought I did.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest and backed out of the barn. How was she supposed to have enough faith for both of them when she was teetering on the edge alone?

  She wanted to believe that she and Shane made sense, that they could pull the Heron out of the mire with faith alone, but what if he was right? What if it was smarter to sell and start over somewhere else?

  Maybe she should let someone else shoulder the burden and find a job where she could put her managing skills to work without the responsibility of ownership.

  She climbed the side stairs and heard her mother singing in the kitchen. She bypassed that route and headed for her bedroom. She quickly cleaned up, her insides still reeling from the sex and their confessions.

  Before she could change her mind, she called Bells, and they agreed to meet in town. She backed her Outback down the drive and out to Heron Way. She needed someone else’s point of view.

  Kendall bustled into the pizza place, elbowed her way to the counter, and ordered a pie before she claimed a booth against the window. Bells waved to her and wove her way through the Friday-night crowd.

  “How’d you get a booth?”

  “There might have been snarling involved.”

  Bells flipped her thick red hair over her shoulder and quickly braided the end to keep it under control. She waved two fingers in the air at the waitress, and two Stellas landed on the table.

  It was good to be a regular.

  “Okay, spill it, sister. You have scruff burn on your neck, and you look miserable. Orgasms are supposed to end with sighs, not cries.”

  Kendall shook her head. “Knowing someone from second grade sucks sometimes.”

  Bells grinned and took a sip from her beer. “I’m jealous. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve even had a whiff of whisker burn?”

  “Three months.”

  She roared out a laugh, and a few people looked at them. Bells just shrugged and waved. “I wouldn’t count that. Maybe a mild case of accidental orgasms. And only if I moved my hips just right.”

  “You are so wrong.”

  Bells smirked. “I don’t wanna be right.” She slid her hands across the table and covered Kendall’s. “Enough with the witty banter. What’s going on, chica?”

  “I’m in love with Shane.”

  “Well, duh. I got that much.”

  “And he doesn’t love me back.”

  “Are you sure? Because I was getting the gigundo I’m-so-messed-up vibes from him.”

  “Just because he’s messed up doesn’t mean it’s over me. It might be the situation. It might be because he wants to start over in another town without me weighing him down.” She thought of Shane after they’d come together so furiously. Maybe it was just attraction, and he wanted to cut and run now that he saw what a future with her entailed. She couldn’t blame him.

  “And it might be that you’re both too afraid to say the L word.”

  “I… Well, maybe.”

  Bells tucked her chin on her hand. “Honey, there’s a reason I’m still single too. It’s hard to say those words. It’s supposed to be hard to say them. If they were easy, they wouldn’t mean anything.”

  “Did I actually call you here to be the voice of reason?”

  “Yep.”

  “I must be stupid.”

  Bells lifted her glass. “I’ll go with very, very smart.”

  Kendall let her head drop onto her folded arms. “You know that self-fulfilling-prophecy thing? Yeah. That’s me.”

  “Oh, my drama queen.”

  Kendall flashed her a middle finger.

  “Look, sweetie. You’ve been getting away scot-free with the male drama crap. You were bound to fall hard for someone sometime.”

  “But him?”

  “Of course it was going to be him. He’s a perfect match for you.”

  She lifted her head. “You don’t even know him.”

  “I know him through your eyes. I knew the first time you talked about him that he was going to be important to you in some way. It’s just how you work, Ken.”

  “He and his mom are the reason Lawrence left me and Mom.”

  “And how old was he when that happened?”

  Kendall shrugged. “Eight.”

  Bells rolled her eyes. “That’s not a valid reason for turning down the love of your life. You need to just say it.”

  “And if he laughs in my face?”

  The pizza—cheese and mushrooms well done—came to the table. They dug in without breaking stride. “Then you call me, and I’ll come beat his ass.”

  “I knew there was a reason I kept you around.”

  Bells lifted her piece of pizza over her head and slurped the excess cheese off. “Damn right.”

  An evening with Bells, pizza, and beer was pretty close to perfect. She still didn’t have any better answers, but her head didn’t feel like it was going to explode anymore. By the time she returned to the Heron, she was a little mo
re even.

  She got out of her car and turned to look at the glowing light from the barn. Shane stood in the doorway, his shirt gone, his forearm over his head against the jamb. When she took a step forward, he backed away and closed the door.

  She swallowed against the hurt and climbed the stairs.

  “I don’t think we have nearly enough lights.”

  “No comments from the peanut gallery.”

  Kendall grinned at her mother as she wrapped another string of lights around the newel post and through the spindles. They’d finally finished with the cleaning that afternoon, and now it was all about decorating. Starting with the porch.

  The phone rang, and her mother pulled the cordless from her apron. “The Heron, this is Lily. How may I help you?”

  Her mother’s chatter faded into the background as she told whoever was on the phone about rates and the highlights of the bed-and-breakfast. Kendall wrestled with another string of lights, plugging it into the end she’d tucked under the railing, and moved her way down the porch.

  She looked out over the front of the property. Snow had been a constant in the forecast for the last few nights, and the fresh powder sprinkled a bit of fairy dust on the terrain. The new fences that Shane had put up were stained a deep walnut and popped against the picturesque blues and cool whites that blanketed the lake. The huge oak was sturdy and majestic.

  When had he trimmed the branches?

  “You need how many nights?”

  Kendall snapped back into the moment.

  “Absolutely. We’ve got a few rooms available. Mmm-hmm.” Her mother made happy little noises as she laughed with the caller.

  Relief unknotted the ball that had been sitting in her gut for so long she hadn’t even realized they were there. At this point, she’d welcome the fish smell in her kitchen. They needed income to keep the B and B running. They might own the house outright, but they still had to pay taxes and utilities.

  Her mother chatted for a few more minutes and disappeared inside to bang out the details of the visit. Kendall made her way around the back of the house.

  She could hear Shane using a saw. Soft plumes of steam billowed into the crisp air from the exhaust vent he’d set up. She squatted to line the lower rail and shake out her tired wrists. A twinge of soreness between her thighs reminded her of the furious lovemaking—no, not lovemaking. It had been sex. Pure, tension-breaking sex. No emotion, just the endgame of an orgasm for the both of them.