All In: Paying to Play (Gambling With Love)

by Lane Hart

“Holly?” he asks. “Who the fuck is…oh.” His mouth falls open in understanding. That’s right. You’re so busted, you bastard!

  “Yeah, oh,” I repeat.

  “Why do you give a shit about her?” he asks, rubbing a hand over his head like he really doesn’t get it.

  “Seriously, Jake? Did you think I wouldn’t care that you were fucking her?”

  “Now you’re just acting crazy,” he says, pissing me off even more. “That was before you and I even met.”

  “Oh, so we just met the day before yesterday?” I ask.

  “What the fuck are you talking about, because I’m really damn confused?”

  “I know you screwed her Wednesday, after you were with me that morning and then you came home and fucked me again like nothing happened!” I yell.

  “Addy, I haven't been with her Wednesday or any other day since we met. I swear,” he says softly, coming off so sincere that I want to throw something heavy at his lying face.

  “The video says otherwise.”

  “What video? Because I know for a fact that there is no video since after you and I met!” he exclaims. “What’s going on, Addy? Why would you think I’ve been with her when I’ve spent every fucking minute since we met wanting you, you infuriating woman?”

  “She told my dad. He has the video-”

  “That son of a bitch!” he yells and I bristle at the insult. “He’s lying to you!”

  I gasp at the accusation. “No he’s not!”

  “Yes he is! How can you not see it, Addy? He lied to me. He told me you wanted out, that you just wanted the money. But I know you, and you don’t give two shits about the money.”

  I lower my eyes since that’s not exactly true. It’s not like I’ve thought about it since we started hooking up, and now I don’t want a penny from him.

  “Addy? Tell me he was lying. That you could care less about the fucking money.”

  “I was going to use it to start my own practice-” I begin explaining, but he explodes.

  “Oh my God! It’s fucking true, isn’t it?”

  “That was before. Now I don’t want a dime from you.”

  “Fuck you and him,” Jake yells. “He’s the only reason I ended up with you instead of Holly in the first fucking place!” Then he storms out of the office.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Addison

  One week later…

  My heels echo down the long hallway with each step. It's only forty degrees outside as we get closer to Halloween, but I'm sweating like a pig in my black pinstripe suit. My very snug suit after all the cheesecake I've been binging on every night after work. I may need to invest in a diary to try a different form of therapy. I'm going to need a double dose of New York style after I leave here. This place is a brutal reminder of the asshole I still miss like crazy.

  Today's a big day. I'm meeting with Jerry Tucker in the Wildcats' stadium to discuss the incredible opportunity for me to become the team's psychiatrist. They don't currently have one, but a lot of teams are adding them to their medical roster. I'm sure I'm just one of many to be interviewed, and probably only because of my father's insistence. That thought makes my shoulders slump. I want to earn this position, not have it handed to me as a favor.

  I step through the owner's office and give the receptionist my name before taking a seat to wait. My knee refuses to quit bouncing, and I'm afraid the buttons of my jacket are going to pop from my new cake gut.

  "Dr. James," Jerry says in greeting when his office door swings open. With a cordial smile, he offers me his hand which I stand up and then shake.

  "Thank you for meeting with me today, Mr. Tucker," I say as he leads me into the office and shuts the door.

  "You're one of our top candidates, Dr. James. I've read your impressive resume, along with your dissertation on brain injuries and their connection to personality changes and disorders. Very insightful."

  "I appreciate that, sir."

  Once he sits down behind his desk I do the same in the chair across from him.

  "To be honest, the position is yours. I just wanted to meet with you and discuss one small concern I had."

  "Oh, well sure," I say with an excited smile.

  "As I told your father, your...arrangement with Mr. Young may raise concerns with the players, and some may even question the confidentiality of their sessions with you since they're aware of your and Mr. Young's intimate relationship."

  Ah, he thinks they may worry I'll run my mouth to Jake. Don't have to worry about that.

  "I understand your concern, but as a professional, I strictly adhere to the patient-doctor privilege and would never disclose any confidential information with other individuals. And Mr. Young and I are no longer involved in...an intimate relationship."

  "That's what your father assured me of as well," he responds with a nod. "If that's the case, then there's nothing to worry about, is there?"

  "No, sir."

  "I have to say I'm surprised to hear that news. You seemed to inspire a remarkable change in Mr. Young and his notoriously wild ways."

  Not all of his wild ways apparently. Wait a second. If my father has been talking to Jerry, could Jake be right? That he lied to me about Jake cheating on me so we'd end things and I'd get the job with the team?

  "So I think all that's left is to work out the details like salary, and tell you about all of the great perks like season tickets for joining our team. I'll have Human Resources contact you about coming back to fill out all their paperwork."

  "Sure, that sounds great," I say, standing when he does. My mind is still trying to put all the pieces together. I need to go see my father. "Thank you so much for this opportunity, Mr. Tucker." I offer him my hand again, which he shakes before I turn to leave.

  "Oh and Dr. James?" he stops me before I walk out the door. "If your...situation with Mr. Young changes, your position with us is still safe as long as you're honest with me and assure me that we can all trust your professionalism."

  "Thank you, sir," I reply as I walk out into the hallway and make my way to my car. I feel like I'm in a daze and everything is foggy. My father wouldn't lie to me, would he? If he thought I might be passed up for the position because of Jake, could he really be so manipulative?

  I drive straight to his building downtown, but instead of my dad's office, I knock on the open door of his assistant's. Holly's head snaps up from her computer and her eyes widen in surprise.

  "Um, hi, Addison. Can I help you with something? I think your dad is in a meeting."

  After shutting her door I step farther into the room to quietly ask the question weighing on me so that the whole office doesn't hear.

  "When was the last time you slept with Jake?" I ask, using the term "slept" loosely instead of a much cruder word.

  "Oh," she mutters before her face reddens. "You want to know about me, and ah, Jake?"

  "Yes. Please. When was it?"

  "Ah, the last time he was here I guess."

  "How recently was that?" I ask, silently praying it wasn't last week.

  "A few weeks ago, maybe? I don't know the date, just that it was a Saturday when we were closed."

  "When I was here signing paperwork?" I ask hopeful. When she nods I almost explode with relief. "So not last week?"

  "No," she says with a crease forming between her eyebrows. "I haven't seen or talked to him since."

  "Thank God," I exhale and collapse down into a nearby chair. "My dad told me he was here last week and that you...you know, in a conference room."

  "What?" she asks. "No, it definitely wasn't last week. We only dated for a few days before you and he signed the contract."

  “You dated?” I ask in surprise.

  “Well, um, yeah. He told me about the owner wanting him to get a girlfriend, so we went out a couple of times. Until your dad found out.”

  “My dad? What do you mean?”

  “He told us he’d fire me if we didn’t stop seeing each other. Then the next day you were si
gning the contract, and I haven’t talked to him since.” When she shyly pushes a strand of hair behind her ear she looks so embarrassed that I believe her. My dad blackmailed her and Jake, then lied to me for a job and a hundred thousand dollars. How could he?

  "Where is he?" I ask Holly.

  "A meeting in the large conference room."

  Well, if he wants to disrupt my life, then I'm going to disrupt his.

  "Wait, Addison. It's an important-"

  She tries to stop me, but I don't slow down. I get angrier with each step I take and don't bother to knock on the door before busting in. All the heads turn to look at me but I don't care.

  "Addison? Is everything okay?" My dear old dad asks before standing up.

  "No, it's not. It was okay, but you had to screw it up. Jake was right about you all along."

  He quickly grabs my arm and ushers me out into the hallway, closing the door behind him. Like that will keep those men from hearing this conversation.

  "Look, Addison. The shrink position with the Wildcats is a huge break for you. It's more important than some asshole who's going to screw around on you and hurt you."

  "You've hurt me more than that asshole ever has!" I yell.

  "I'm sorry," he says automatically.

  "No, you're not. And that's a real shame, that you can't see how fucked up what you did was to me, to Holly, to Jake. You manipulate everyone to get what you want without thinking about the consequences. I used to think that made you a great attorney, but now I know it just makes you a scheming liar."

  "I just want what's best for you."

  "What's best for me is to let me make my own decisions. I'm not a child, and it's time for you to stop treating me like one."

  "You're right," he concedes, rubbing his temple like I'm giving him a migraine. Good, I hope I am.

  "I know I'm right. Jake is a good man, and now you're going to have to fix what you've broken," I tell him.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Jake

  Sunday's home game is sold out, the crowd roaring as soon as we run out of the tunnel. Once the visiting team, the San Diego Sharks, take the field everyone stands for the National Anthem, turning toward the flag that flies high above the scoreboard on the north side of the field. That’s when I see them. Two jerseys with the numbers eighty-six and my last name hang from the billboard, slightly swaying in the wind. Enormous jerseys by the look of them, since I'm able to make out the lettering so clearly. What the hell? I glance up and down the sidelines at my teammates who have their hands over their hearts and are all avoiding eye contact with me.

  Then the announcers voice booms through the stadium.

  "The Wildcats would like for you to stand and join them for eighty-six seconds of silence in remembrance of two incredible individuals who lost their lives three years ago this week. John and Diane Young were only able to cheer proudly for their son Jake in his first six NFL games before they were tragically killed by a drunk driver. Thanks to the kind donation of the law office of Winston, James & Bradshaw, John and Diane Young's memory will not be forgotten as their two symbolic jerseys with Jake's number will hang high above the stadium where they will always have a place honor for as long as Jake plays for the Carolina Wildcats. The law firm, in conjunction with the Wildcat players, has also initiated the Young Safe and Sober initiative in all local high schools to educate our youth on the immense danger to themselves and others when driving under the influence."

  Oh my God. There are no other words that come to mind. I'm too stunned and overwhelmed. Pretty sure my fucking face is wet. The whole stadium is so quiet you could probably hear a pin drop on the grassy field.

  I force the image of the shredded jerseys from my mind, the one that haunts my nightmares, and it's immediately replaced with one of seeing her in my jersey for the first time. Yelling my name across the field until I go over to her and she orders me to kiss her. So I do, and...it was like finding paradise after spending the last few years trapped in a living hell. Unexpected, but such a relief.

  Thumps to my shoulder pads pull me back to reality as I watch our special teams run out onto the field to get ready for kickoff. Unable to resist searching for her, my eyes scan the stadium for section 112 at the fifty yard line where my brothers' season tickets are. I bark out a laugh when I find her standing next to them, holding a big white poster. A poster that reads, "Let's go Jake-ass! Score some touchdowns! Love, Your Bitch" It's ridiculous and immature, so unlike Addy, but perfect because she did it to make me laugh. If I can grow up and try to be more mature for her, then maybe this can work after all.

  Since the Wildcats won the coin toss and deferred to the second half, our defense is on the field. I jog over to the wall and wait for her to come down the steps before pulling her into my arms and down to the field with me. As soon as her feet hit the ground I kiss her, both hands in the back of her hair to hold her to me. I missed her so damn much.

  "Nice jersey," I finally say with a smile splitting my face open.

  "Thanks. I was hoping to get an autograph," she responds with her own grin.

  "You know what to do, sweet cheeks."

  "Get naked?" She laughs.

  "Hell yes. In my bed. Every night."

  “I’ll be there,” she replies before pulling my lips back down to hers.

  Chapter Twenty

  Addison

  10 Weeks Later…

  Touchdown!

  The whole stadium jumps to their feet as the clock winds down on the last home game of the season. My boyfriend just caught a pass in the end zone to seal the deal on the win. The Wildcats aren’t going to the playoffs this year due to some injuries, but at least they’re finishing the season on a high note.

  After all the players shake hands in a show of good sportsmanship, Jake jogs over to our section. His brothers still can’t believe he has dated me for this long, twelve weeks if you count the pretend ones. I still have my apartment, even though I haven’t slept in it in weeks. In fact, a little at a time I’ve moved in with Jake. He knows I’m taking over his closet and adding my things with his, but he hasn’t commented on it. If I brought up living together he’d probably freak out and say we’re moving too fast, so I haven’t mentioned it. I’ve just been slowly doing it.

  I walk down the cement steps to the wall where Jake kisses me in greeting. “You were pretty awesome today,” I tell him.

  “Yeah I was,” he says, oh so modestly with a smile.

  “Are you sad the season is over?” I ask, rubbing my hands over the back of his sweaty hair.

  “A little, but at least now I’ll get to spend more time with you.”

  “That is true.”

  “I talked to your dad yesterday,” he says, and my smile slips. I wouldn’t have been more surprised if he’d said he flown to the moon. Sure, my dad and I have made up, but he and Jake still aren’t on the best of terms with each other.

  “Oh really?”

  “Uh-huh,” he mutters.

  “Why?” I ask in confusion.

  “To make sure he wouldn’t kill me,” Jakes says seriously.

  “For what?”

  “For this.” Jake nods to the jumbotron. The words, “Will you marry me, Addy?” are written across the bottom of the screen that’s broadcasting a live shot of us. And at the moment, I look like a ridiculous cartoon character, all mouth gaping and eyes bulging.

  I turn back to Jake who’s perfectly calm and looks amused at my surprise. “You want to marry me?” I exclaim, just to make sure I'm not seeing things.

  “Yes,” he says, then chuckles. “But now you’ve got this all backwards. That’s supposed to be your line.”

  “Are you sure? Because we just met and-”

  “Addy?” Jake interrupts. “You’re the only one I want to fight with, laugh with, and love for the rest of my life. So will you marry me?”

  “Yes,” I finally say on a tearful exhale.

  “Finally.” He laughs. “You don’t make anything easy, do y
ou?”

  “I like to keep you on your toes,” I joke.

  “I wouldn’t have it any other way, sweet cheeks,” he says pulling my lips down to his.

  Epilogue

  Jake

  Five years later…

  There’s only ten seconds on the clock. We don’t have any more timeouts and the score is fourteen to ten. We’ve got to have a touchdown to win. On first and goal, the ball is at the Washington Wolves' twenty yard line, and there's only time for one last play.

  Zack’s in the shotgun formation, reading the defense and calling out the snap count to the offensive line. Simpson hikes him the ball and I sprint forward and juke left before heading to the other side of the field. At the five yard line I look over my shoulder right as Zack hauls back and throws a perfect pass to me. I leap up right as the football hits me dead center over the eight-six on my jersey. As soon as my feet hit the ground I tuck the ball under my arm and take off for the end zone. From the corner of my eye I see the safety heading for me right as I dive over the orange pylon and the clock buzzes.

  Still lying on the ground, I look to the sideline ref, waiting for his signal.

  When both of his arms go straight up in the air chaos erupts in the indoor stadium.

  Touchdown!

  Everyone screams and cheers. My teammates jump on top of me, celebrating our win. When I finally come up from the pile, Zac lifts me off my feet and into the air, thanking me for making the catch that sealed the deal. We did it. We actually fucking did it!

  Cameras, bright lights, and microphones are shoved into all of our faces, Zack’s more than anyone else’s. Confetti and balloons in our team colors of black and blue rain down on the entire field.

  People are yelling out questions as I push my way through the crowd, looking for my gorgeous wife. Addy comes out of nowhere, throwing herself into my arms as she grabs me around the neck and I hold her to me.

  “You were amazing,” she shouts against my ear so I can hear her.

  “I know, right,” I agree, and she laughs.

  “Your parents would’ve been so proud of you,” she says softer, causing my eyes to water as I look for my brothers. I found them on the sideline together with their wives and my niece and nephew, all of them wearing number eighty-six, and wave them over to us.