Shortie Like Mine

by Ni-Ni Simone

  “I don’t know, do you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, then it looks to me”—she pointed at the clock—“that you better get dressed.”

  “Here’s the dress!” Toi came rushing down the hallway.

  “You were listening this whole time?” I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “And here are your shoes,” Man-Man said.

  I couldn’t believe it. “Y’all set me up.”

  “Don’t worry about that,” Cousin Shake, who was dressed in his infamous MC Hammer suit, added. “Just hurry up.”

  “For what?”

  “I’m taking you.”

  “Oh, no, Ma, please.”

  “He’s taking my car, girl.”

  “Oh, okay.” I rushed in my room and slipped on my dress, which was a gray sleeveless cocktail dress with sparkling rhinestones all over. My shoes where open toe stilettos and I had a French pedicure. Toi curled my hair in abundance of Shirley Temple curls that framed my face and complemented my deep dimples. My makeup was mostly natural and the lipstick was a shimmering MAC gloss. I have to admit I was beautiful. I just hoped Josiah thought so.

  When I got to the dance I was beyond nervous. I kept holding in my stomach, somehow thinking that would help to tame the butterflies. Before I went inside, Cousin Shake kissed me on the cheek. “You look like a princess.”

  I was nervous and felt like I was on cloud nine when I walked into the high school gym. It was beautiful and I never would’ve thought that an ordinary gym could look like this. White and red balloons were everywhere, the dance floor sparkled, lights were dimmed, and the D.J. was playing Faith Evans’ “Tru Love.” Although I knew all eyes were on me, especially since no one expected me to come, I felt like Josiah was the only one in the place. His back was turned to me and he was leaning against the wall looking toward Shae and Melvin, who were slow dancing. I took a deep breath and walked over to him.

  “It’s true love,” I said to him as I walked up from behind, “when you can’t be without me ... like I can’t be without you.”

  Josiah turned around and it seemed as if his entire body lit up. He was so handsome in his black double-breasted two-piece, gray silk tie, and square toe gators. His swagger was serious and his entire look reminded me of Puffy or Jay-Z when they be throwing it on. All I could do was smile as he stared at me. “You look beautiful.”

  “Thank you. So do you.”

  “Thanks, I’m glad you came.”

  “I couldn’t be without you.”

  He held me by my waist and as if on instinct, we started slow dancing. “Don’t leave me, Seven.”

  “I’m never going to.”

  “You wifey, Seven.”

  “I’m gon’ always be wifey.”

  “Well, I got something for you.”

  “What?”

  He pulled my earrings out of his pocket.

  “You been carrying these in your pocket?” I couldn’t believe it.

  “Yeah. Everyday. I’ve carried them everyday.”

  All I could do was hold him tight. “I missed you so much.”

  “Prove it,” he said.

  “How?”

  “Put your earrings on.”

  He didn’t have to ask twice. I slipped my rhinestones off and put on my bamboo heart-shaped earrings with “Wifey” on them. I know I probably looked liked Boom-Kiki from the projects, with a cocktail dress and bamboo earrings on, but at this moment I didn’t care. This wasn’t about nobody else but me and my boo.

  20

  Can’t leave ’em alone ...

  —CIARA, “CAN’T LEAVE ’EM ALONE”

  I woke up in the middle of the night and thought my sister was peeing on herself, until I realized it looked as if a river had exploded in her bed. “Ma!” I screamed. “Ma!” Toi’s face was scrunched up in pain. “You scared?”

  “Yes.”

  “Where is Mommy?” I fanned my face, “ ’cause I’m about to pass out.”

  “Seven,” Toi panted, “I’m having contractions.”

  “Me, too.” I started letting out short breaths. “Ma!”

  “Seven, I’m having the baby, so you can calm down.”

  “You sure?” I think I felt my stomach cramping. “Ma!”

  “WOULD YOU SHUT UP! Dang, Mommy is at work. Go wake Cousin Shake so he can take me to the hospital, call Mommy, and I need to call my doctor and Quamir.”

  “Quamir?”

  “This is his baby,” she said sternly, “and I have no time for what you think.”

  “Whatever!” I ran upstairs and started banging on Cousin Shake’s bedroom door. As usual, he had “The Best of Run DMC” blasting. “Cousin Shake! Open up! It’s an emergency! Cousin Shake!”

  He snatched the door open and I immediately started throwing up. He was standing in the doorway with the biggest pair of booty-chokin’ briefs I’ve ever seen. His stomach was hanging over the waistband and he had his hands on his hips. “Cousin Shake, Lord ... Jesus ... holy Ghost ... somebody please, put some clothes on you.”

  “Let me tell you something, lil’ girl ...” As he spoke his belly shook. “I got a lil’ shortie up in here and I don’t appreciate you calling me away from my physical therapy. Now, what you want?”

  “Ta-Ta-Ta-Toi is in labor.”

  “Good, ’bout time she got a job.” And he went to close the door in my face.

  “No, she’s having the baby!”

  “The baby?! Oh, Lord. Okay, go boil some water.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know. Just do it. Now let me get dressed so we can get to the hospital. Oh, and call ya mama.”

  I ran from Cousin Shake’s room to use the phone in the kitchen. When I spoke to my mother she was calmer than I thought. All she said was to grab Toi’s bag and she would meet us there.

  I went back into my room, grabbed Toi’s bag, and then I shut the door. Wait a minute, I forgot Toi. I am so not cut out for this. I opened the door. “I guess you need to leave with me.”

  “Ya think?” she snapped.

  We all piled into the car. Man-Man was half-asleep but Cousin Shake was fully awake as he ran every red light in the city of Newark. “You don’t know nothin’ about this girl,” he said. “This one of the benefits of having a tricked-out hearse—er’-body scared of you.” He whipped into the hospital parking lot.

  “I can see why,” I said. “Cousin Shake, how are we going to get Toi out of here?”

  “Better drag her ass out the back.”

  “Cousin Shake!” Toi screamed.

  “You know I’m just playing with you, girl,” he said while helping her to get out the driver’s side of the car.

  By the time we got in the hospital, my mother was already there. She didn’t look as panicked as we did, in fact she even seemed cool. The doctors took in Toi right away and me, Cousin Shake, and Man-Man waited in the family waiting area.

  After falling asleep, waking up, and pacing the waiting room floor, my mother came out and announced that Toi had a baby boy. I was so excited.

  We all crept in the room, like we were scared for some reason. “Hey,” I said, walking over to the bed and looking at the baby. It was hard to tell what he looked like because he was so small. Toi looked exhausted.

  “How do you feel?” Cousin Shake asked her.

  “Fine.”

  “Well, what’s his name?”

  “Noah.”

  “Noah?” Cousin Shake looked surprised. “And what’s his middle name, Jesus?”

  “Cousin Shake.” My mother laughed. “What in the world.”

  “I’m just playin’—I’m just playin’.”

  We laughed and looked at the baby for about an hour and then my mother said we needed to leave. My sister needed her rest. I looked at Toi on the way out and I knew she was just as frightened as I felt. I never imagined she would be a mother so soon. I kissed her on the forehead and said, “I love you, big head.”

  “I know,” she said as she drifted to
sleep. “I know.”

  21

  Ain’t nothin’ wrong

  If you wanna do da butt all night long ...

  —E.U., “DA BUTT”

  I had to give it to Melvin. I had never heard of Murfreesboro, but his dirty-dirty crew that he imported up here had his fish fry slash birthday party jumpin’. DC Go-Go was thumpin’ and food was everywhere. All the fish and fried cornbread you wanted to eat or could ever imagine was making its way around the room. Even Melvin’s mama was here having her a good ole time. She was dressed in black biking shorts, a white V-neck tee, a red belt wrapped around her waist, some runnin’ socks, and high-top L.A. Gears. She danced over toward me and Shae and when her nephew, Garfield, who was also the D.J., started playing E.U.’s “Da Butt,” she, along with the rest of Melvin’s down south crew, went crazy.

  “Seven,” Shae said as we watched everybody get their party on. “Three o’clock.” When I turned my head to the right, it was Cousin Shake shakin’ his way through the party, screaming, “This my jam right here!”

  “Do it, baby!” Melvin’s mother yelled at Cousin Shake.

  I almost passed out. This was Cousin Shake’s fifty-year-old tender? Melvin’s mother? “Shake it like a salt shaker!” she said as they did “Da Butt” together. If they weren’t so funny I would’ve been embarrassed.

  “Di’ane gotta big ole butt!” the D.J. yelled.

  “That’s right!” Melvin’s mother responded.

  “Shae gotta big ole butt!”

  “Oh, yeah!” Shae started dancing, which shocked the mess outta me. Not that she didn’t dance, but heck, she was doing a dance that was older than she was.

  “Seven gotta big ole butt.”

  “Oh, yeah!” Heck, if my girl could do it I figured I could do it, too. That’s when Josiah walked over and whispered in my ear, “Don’t make me hurt nobody in here.”

  And as if on cue, the music switched from E.U. to Nelly’s “Flap Your Wings.” All I can say is this, Cousin Shake looked to be having an epileptic seizure. This was by far the best party I’d been to in a long while.

  I looked at Shae. “I gotta go to the bathroom. Hold my drink.”

  After a few minutes, I came back and Deeyah was all over Josiah like butter on rice, and as I contemplated if I should clown and punch her in the face or smack him, I decided to stand back and peep the situation.

  Bow Wow’s “Outta My System” was playing and along with Cousin Shake and Melvin’s mama, who were bumpin’ and grindin’ and rubbin’ each other, Deeyah held Josiah by the waist and swayed by herself while he stood with his arms folded across his chest, watching her carry on like she was stupid. “For real, baby,” Deeyah said, “I miss you and I’m sorry. I was just trying to make you jealous with Dollah and I want you back.”

  “Man, please, how many times do I have to tell you I got a girl. What part don’t you understand? The B or the ounce?”

  “Oh, Josiah, please, you know as well as I do that big-behind Seven can’t make you feel like I do.”

  “You know what, you can’t think of nothing else to say about her but to call her a big-behind. What, you jealous ’cause she gotta better body than you? You steppin’ way outta line little girl, and I suggest you play your position, which is over there to the side!”

  “Oh, so you really diggin’ this fat ho?!”

  As Chris Brown’s “Shortie Like Mine” started playing, I walked and cut in between them. Josiah placed his hands in my back pockets and I wrapped my arms around his waist. “Don’t be mad ’cause this fat ho took yo’ man, you thirsty trick.”

  “Was that nice?” He looked down into my face.

  “No.”

  “Ai’ight then, I was handling this.” He looked at Deeyah as we rocked from side to side, and as if in tune with Chris Brown he said, “ ‘Searched around the world but you won’t never find another shortie like mine.’”

  “Oh, no, you didn’t just try and play me?! I will turn this countrified ridiculous party out!” Deeyah screamed. “Do you understand?! You better recognize.” As she started walking toward me, Melvin’s mother stopped dancing and said to Deeyah, “We gotta problem over here, baby? Let me know now.” She looked at me. “ ’Cause Mother will handle it.”

  “Oh, please.” Deeyah rolled her eyes. “And what your ole country butt gon’ do?” As soon as Deeyah said that the entire party stopped and the music literally came to a screeching halt.

  “What you say now, baby?” Melvin’s mother asked, as three of the biggest women I’d ever seen in my life gathered around her. “You didn’t wanna do nothin’, now did you, baby? ’Cause we can make it happen.”

  “Whatever,” Deeyah snapped. “Ki-Ki, Yaanah, let’s blow this popsicle stick and beat it.”

  “That’s what I thought,” Melvin’s mother said as she snapped her fingers, and the party resumed. “They don’t want nothing with Mother.”

  “They sure don’t,” Cousin Shake said. “But Shake sure do!” And they started dancing again.

  “I said,” Deeyah stressed, “let’s go, Ki-Ki and Yaanah.”

  “Naw,” Ki-Ki said. “I’m good. Seven”—she paused—“I’m real sorry for everything that I’ve done. I’m glad you and Shae made up and that you and Josiah are together, because what I did was wrong. Can you please forgive me?”

  Shae pushed me on the shoulder and Josiah stared at me. “Yeah, Ki-Ki,” I said reluctantly, “I accept your apology.” Josiah winked his eye.

  “I don’t believe this,” Deeyah said. “You just played yourself, Ki-Ki. Yaanah, come on.”

  “Girl, please.” Yaanah frowned. “Seems to me you just played yourself. Why don’t you get your attitude together and maybe you’ll be able to keep some friends. You’re just jealous of Seven and always have been. You need to get over it and stop trippin’ off yourself, ’cause for real, ain’t nobody even feelin’ you like that.”

  I couldn’t believe Yaanah was going off like this. For the most part, Yaanah didn’t say two words. “Dang, Yaanah. Look at you!” I said.

  “Girl, Seven, I been trippin’ and if you’ll accept my apology, I wanna become friends again.”

  “It’s cool, Yaanah,” I said. “It’s cool.”

  “Y’all ain’t even worth my time.” Deeyah stormed out. “Forget y’all.”

  “Yo, Seven,” Ki-Ki said as we all started gettin’ a serious party on. “Can you introduce me to the D.J.?”

  A READING GROUP GUIDE

  SHORTIE LIKE MINE

  Ni-Ni Simone

  ABOUT THIS GUIDE

  The following questions are intended to

  enhance your group’s reading of

  SHORTIE LIKE MINE.

  Discussion Questions

  1. In the beginning of the story do you think Josiah owed Seven an apology? Explain why or why not.

  2. Do you think Seven had low self-esteem?

  3. How much of Seven’s belief that she was fat played in the decisions she made? If she were skinnier, do you think she would’ve acted differently?

  4. Do you think Seven stole her friend’s boyfriend? Would you ever date the same guy as your friend?

  5. What did you think of Shae’s life? Do you know anyone like her or her mother?

  6. What lessons did you learn from the things Toi did? How different were the twins?

  7. Do you think Josiah was wrong to pressure Seven to have sex with him?

  8. Do you think things would have been different if Seven would’ve had sex with Josiah?

  9. What did you think of Seven’s father? Do you think he was a good father?

  10. How do you think Seven’s parents’ marriage affected her life?

  11. Do you think Seven should have forgiven Josiah sooner in their relationship?

  12. Who was your favorite character? Why?

  13. What character do you think you are most like?

  14. What lessons did you learn from Shortie Like Mine?

  A Discussion with the Author

/>   What do you like most about being an author?

  What I like most is that I can bring all of my dreams to life. If I want to be a singer, a dancer, or a rapper then I can be. The world on paper is limitless. But I couldn’t do it without my education. And no, I’m not a walking afterschool special, but I do keep it real. I know I couldn’t write books without paying attention in my English classes and when it came to the literary contracts, math was useful too—LOL.

  What is one of the best things you’ve ever done?

  Uhmmm, okay, dump a boy who didn’t treat me like a lady. I had to let him know he had me twisted.

  Name one of the worst things you’ve ever done?

  Date a boy I didn’t like.

  Who’s your favorite rapper?

  You know it’s Bow Wow.

  Who’s your favorite famous couple?

  Beyoncé and Jay–Z, they are so hot!

  What’s your favorite TV show?

  Actually I have two: Run’s House and Keyshia Cole’s reality show The Way It Is. Oh, and Flavor of Love. Wait, wait, oh yeah, BET’s Hell Date. I Love New York is the bomb, too. And I do have two oldies but goodies, Good Times and Little House on the Prairie. What, chile please can you say J.J. and Nelly Olsen? I know that was more than two.

  What lesson do you want readers to learn from Shortie Like Mine?

  To never doubt yourself and to know that the sky is the limit.

  Stay tuned for Toi McKnight’s story,

  IF I WAS YOUR GIRL,

  available in October 2008 wherever books are sold.

  Until then, satisfy your craving

  with the following excerpt.