Your Heart Is Mine (Our Hearts Are Lost Book 1)

by Nicole Thorn

  Seth’s friend had called in the bomb threat. I got groped and ignored because he thought it would be so funny to do it. To have the cops come and make a big scene. Well, that didn’t really work out for him. A few of these morons thought it had been funny, but the rest of us thought it had been stupid. I wished I’d just stayed home. No one would have noticed anyway.

  And no one noticed that I stayed quiet through lunch. I didn’t mind that too much. I didn’t feel like faking being all right.

  Not today.

  ****

  In the morning, I put on clothes that covered me up a little more: Jeans and a sweater. A baggy sweater. I looked frumpy and awful. I even tied my hair up into a ponytail. I wanted to be touchy-teacher-proof.

  I didn’t bother telling anyone. The girls would probably laugh about it, the boys would call it hot, and my mother would accuse me of being dramatic. It didn’t seem worth it, and I didn’t want Miss Finch to get fired or anything. As long as she didn’t do this to other people, then I could handle it.

  I felt sick for the entire drive to school. I dreaded first hour. Miss Finch only met me a few days ago, and already she had touched me. What would it be like in a couple of weeks? How far did she want to take this? Thinking about it gave me headaches, not to mention I hardly slept the night before. Honestly, IS this whole damn town a hot mess and no one wanted to warn me about it?

  The thought came into my head that I should transfer classes. I could get away from her, before this got out of hand. It went from nothing to something so damn quick. Did I look easy? Like I’d give it up to anyone who gave me a little positive attention? She must’ve thought that. That I did it on purpose. As if it worked like that

  I could get through today. I’d get through today and then make up some reason to get a transfer slip. Finch would be out of my hair, and she could get over whatever thing she had for me. I had too much to deal with to add this onto my plate.

  When I got to school, I had to convince myself that it wouldn’t be that bad. I could sit there and stare at my book for an hour. What could she possibly do with thirty other kids in the room with us? Not enough to send me running.

  I sat in my seat, careful to not look her way. I got in just before the bell rang. My notebook came out and I pretended that it had the most interesting things in it. She didn’t have time for chatter today, and I sighed in relief.

  Miss Finch started in immediately, and I threw myself into the notes. I took more detailed notes than I ever had before in an effort to distract myself. My head pounded with all the stress crashing down on me. The Ripper, and now Finch. I should’ve felt safe. Even with the bomb threat being fake, it still left me feeling icky. Nothing in this town felt safe, and I wished I could go back home. I wished I had a home. A safe haven. Anywhere.

  As I took my notes, I could sense Miss Finch near me. When she walked, she slowed down as she passed me. She stopped and rested her hands on the table, speaking to the class without moving away. Never had I been so sad to not have a tablemate, someone to take the heat off me.

  I looked up when Miss Finch stopped talking, and immediately felt stupid for doing so. She caught me and smiled, like she knew something that I didn’t. Her hand glided along my desk, and it brushed mine. She didn’t see me recoil.

  When the bell rang, relief poured through my entire body. I put my things away as the crowd of students pushed and shoved to get out and to their next class. Once I’d put my things away, I grabbed them and made a break for it.

  “Rocelyn?” Miss Finch said.

  I came to a hard stop, shutting my eyes and pressing my lips together. Without turning, I said, “Yeah?”

  She circled me, looking over her shoulder while she closed the door. “I need to have a word with you.”

  I hooked my thumb into my backpack strap and rocked up on my heels. “Shoot.”

  Miss Finch smiled. “You seemed really tense in class today. Is something wrong?”

  Not anymore. I’m getting that transfer slip right now. “Just a headache.”

  She nodded. “Ah. I get those a lot. Ya know what I’ve found works great for that? A little…” She cleared her throat. “…alone time. Makes you think about something else for a while, and then you feel all better.” She beamed.

  I laughed it off, but it sounded strangled. “Oh, well… class and… stuff.”

  She shrugged. “If this is an emergency, I can write you a note. I don’t have a second hour. You can stay in here.”

  Oh my God. “Um, thanks, but I think I’ll be fine.”

  “Okay.” She smiled again. “Maybe next time.” I waited for her to move out of the way. She didn’t. “I really like you, Rocey,” she said, taking a step closer. The nickname made my stomach roil. “You’re a good girl. I really like good girls.”

  Not happening. This is not happening. I must have been out of my mind or in the middle of a nightmare. “Th-thanks,” I said. “I’m gonna be really late.” I tried to move past her, but she took my hand.

  Miss Finch spun me so that my back pressed to the door. She stood so close to me. “Yeah, you are.”

  Her lips hit mine and forcefully parted them. When she forced her tongue in my mouth, her hands found my hips and held me to the door. Fear so potent filled me that I couldn’t move. Or do anything. I stayed as still as the dead, feeling her in my mouth until she pulled away.

  Finally, she lifted her mouth, but kept the rest of her body pressed against me. “I love how you taste,” she whispered.

  I tried to tell her to let go of me, but I only let her name out on a breath. She took it as me being flattered, and her lips turned up all the way. Her hand slipped under my sweater and rested unwelcomed on my waist. I might have stopped breathing; the shock of it all leaving me without a clue what to do, or the ability to think up a solution.

  She said my nickname again. “We have something special,” she said, sounding insane. “I want you at my house tonight. After ten. Can you do that for me?”

  I needed to get out of there, by any means necessary. I nodded. “I can do that.”

  “Good,” she whispered. “I’ll wear something nice.” Her lips met mine again and she held me tighter against the door. Her hand slipped up my torso, cupping my breast before gliding down my body and to the front of my jeans.

  She pulled back, panting and smiling. “Go on, you don’t wanna be late. Or do you?”

  I shook my head, trying not to cry. When I turned, she smacked my ass before I could open the door. I didn’t do anything about it because, what could I do? I walked out of the room and started running.

  I got outside and stopped, unable to think of my next step. I couldn’t go back in there. I couldn’t even bring myself to go back into the school. I needed to be home. Safe.

  My feet started moving before I realized I’d made a decision. Somehow, I hadn’t started crying yet. My heart pounded, and I could feel this weird coldness moving through my body. Like I did something wrong. I had to have…

  My hands shook as I got to my car. I got the keys out of my pocket and dropped them on the ground. When I bent to pick them up, I choked on a sob that I refused to let escape. It hurt my throat, but it didn’t matter. Not now.

  As I put the key in the lock, I knew I did the wrong thing. I shouldn’t drive like this. I could hurt somebody.

  I couldn’t go back inside. Instead, I chose to walk it off, if I could.

  I shoved my keys back in my pocket after I left my backpack in the car. Without knowing where to go, I went. My eyes stayed glued to the pavement and my hands hid in my pockets. The air felt cold on my face and I found it easier to focus on that than keep a blank head.

  Did she do this with a lot of students? Did she find people who she thought would let her do what she wanted? I didn’t feel weak, but maybe I looked it. I looked like someone who would roll over and take it. She thought that. Bird thought that. My parents thought that. They thought so little of me. Maybe they had been right to.

 
“Lynn?”

  I stopped walking, hearing a voice I recognized but didn’t know. The second I looked up, I saw a familiar face. The deputy before sat in a police car, doing a work search. Barker. The one that totally stared at me like I was crazy. How did he even remember my name?

  I waved and kept walking.

  I heard him open and close his door. “Hold on.”

  With a sigh, I turned and put on a falsely neutral face. “Oh, hey. What are you doing here?”

  He came to a stop and looked back at the car. “I was sent to patrol the school. Make sure there’s not another incident.”

  I raised my eyebrows at him. “Ah. Hard to do with your nose in a word search, huh?”

  He scratched the back of his head. “Yeah… I already patrolled. I was just killing time before I have to get back. Why are you not in class?”

  “What? Are you going to report me truant?”

  He half smiled. “I can if you want. I was just going to ask why you looked like you were ready to jump off a cliff, and recommend that you not do it.”

  I forced a smiled back. “I’m fine.”

  When I started walking away again, he ran till he got in front of me. “Or, you’re lying to me. Which I get. It’s none of my business what’s wrong, but you can tell me anyway.”

  If I told him, then it would be real. I had to admit what happened. It would be a huge mess. People would find out. I didn’t want people to look at me and see some whore who tempted a teacher and then tattled for attention.

  I shook my head. “It’s nothing.”

  He didn’t buy it. “I’m probably the worst person in the world to understand human emotion, but it’s impossible to not see that something happened to you. You look like you just watched a fleet of puppies get run over.”

  I stared at the ground. “Nothing happened,” I said, almost whispering.

  “Please,” he said. “I’m a deputy. If you got hurt or something, I should know about it. You won’t get in trouble, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  Whatever dam had been keeping the tears back, decided to come down then. I broke into unintelligible sobs in front of the poor man. Worse, my arms went around him because I thought I wouldn’t be able to stand if they didn’t.

  The deputy let out a confused, “Whoa,” when I grabbed him. I couldn’t see his face, but he must have been so lost. He moved me over to a bench and sat me down. I stayed attached to him. “Please tell me what happened?”

  I gave him as much space as I could, drying my eyes on my top. “I didn’t want her to,” I cried. “Please believe me.”

  His eyes darkened, and I thought for a moment I made him angry with me. “Did somebody hurt you? You need to tell me. You need to let me fix it.”

  I looked at him, trying to decide the right thing to do. I didn’t know anymore. What if I really had done something to make Miss Finch think I wanted it?

  “Lynn,” he said, quietly. “You can trust me. I took an oath to protect people.”

  I sighed as another tear burned my cheek. I went over everything that happened with Miss Finch since we met. I figured he would be better at deciding what the right course of action would be. He could have the information and do with it what he would. I began crying again by the end of it. I didn’t go for him this time, crossing my arms and folding my legs under me instead.

  I watched Deputy Barker’s face carefully, trying to figure out if this would get me in trouble. Slowly, his features smoothed into a mask of stone. “She touched you? Kissed you?”

  I nodded. “She thinks I’m going to meet her at her house tonight. It was the only way I thought I could get out of the room.”

  The deputy nodded. “I’m going to make this right, I promise you. For now, I think you need to go home. Do you have someone who can come and get you?”

  I shook my head. “My parents work.”

  “They won’t make an exception to come get you?”

  I laughed and wiped my eyes. “They’d be annoyed that I called.”

  The mask cracked for a moment, and I saw fury. “Annoyed?”

  “Yeah. Listen, can you keep this all to yourself? I don’t know what kind of hell I’m going to get if everyone finds out, but I’ve been at this school for less than a week. I’d like to finish without everyone thinking I’m some kind of monster who screws her teachers.”

  “Something has to be done. She broke the law. You’re a minor, and she’s a predator. I don’t even want to think about how many other students she’s doing this to. We need people like her far away from students.”

  “I’m almost nineteen, actually. Bad grades.”

  “Okay, well your age isn’t the issue here as much as the fact that she’s your teacher and touched you against your will. She assaulted you, no matter how old you are.”

  I didn’t respond.

  Deputy Barker stood up after five minutes of silence. “All right, come with me.”

  My eyes went up. “Where are we going?”

  “I’m taking you home.” He adjusted the loaded up belt he wore. “I don’t think you should drive. Let’s go.”

  I stood, but I didn’t start walking. “My car is here.”

  He smiled. “I’ll get your car home. Try again.”

  I eyed him. “Are cops allowed to be snarky?”

  His smile widened. “I’m a deputy, miss. I get privileges that regular officers don’t. This…” He tapped the badge on his shirt. “…means I get to be mouthy throughout the whole entire county. Plus, if I can’t use my perfect skills with charm to make someone feel better, it would be a terrible waste.”

  I bit my bottom lip. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re kind of a dork?”

  His eyebrow went up and my bottom lip hid under my top one. “Oh, really? I’m a dork?”

  I nodded. “Little bit.” I made the gesture with my thumb and index finger.

  “I see.” He sighed. “Abuse me, I don’t mind. Just trying to help.”

  I could barely see it, and I didn’t even know if it could be real, but the way his eyes turned up and the microscopic smile made it seem like he had been kidding. Nothing else would give it away. His voice and stance looked stern. Is he trying to freak me out, or does he not know how to relax?

  I walked next to him as we went to his patrol car. When we got there, I cut in front of him. “Am I sitting in the back?”

  He smirked. “Only if you do something wrong.”

  I frowned. “But I’ll probably never get to ride in the back of a cop car in my whole life. You should handcuff me,” I said with too much enthusiasm.

  He actually laughed. “You don’t want that.”

  “Oh.” I narrowed my eyes and got up on my tiptoes. “I think I do, sir. I really do. What do I have to do that’s going to get me lightly tossed in the back of your car? I can come up with something if I have to. I need to make my dreams come true. Tell me what evils to commit.”

  “None,” he said flatly. “Just get in the car.”

  I dropped to my heels. “Come on, buddy. If I tickle you, will that work?”

  He tried to keep a straight face. “I’m not ticklish, but I appreciate your complete lack of self-preservation.”

  I wiggled my fingers in front of his face. “Where, oh where, shall I tickle you, Deputy Barker?”

  “Nowhere.” His voice still sounded flat.

  I cocked an eyebrow. “Sides it is!” I pressed my fingers to his sides, taking a liberty that I really shouldn’t have. I stared at his face while I attempted, poorly, to tickle him. He did not move, but the corner of his mouth turned up. “You’re not gonna cuff me, are you?”

  He shook his head. “I’m not gonna cuff you.”

  I dropped my hands and pouted. “Not fair.”

  “Very fair. You didn’t break the law. You were assaulted. Why are you trying to tickle me? You should still be crying.”

  I shrugged. “I could cry. I’d rather not, if I can help it at all. What’s it going to do fo
r me to cry right now, when I’ve already lost five minutes crying?”

  It didn’t look like he understood. “I thought you’d still be upset.”

  My eyebrows pushed together. “I’m miserable. I feel disgusting and guilty and sad. And that is exactly why I was tickling you and trying to get you to cuff me. If I wasted time being sad every time I should be, then I wouldn’t have much time for anything else.”

  He watched me for ten seconds. I counted. Then he hung his head and sighed. “I’ll put the cuffs on you if you want, but you’re not riding in the back.”

  I smiled so wide it hurt. “Thank you.” I may have jumped a little in joy.

  When I put my hands out in front of me, he rolled his eyes and grabbed the cuffs. He put them around my wrists loosely and escorted me to the passenger side of the car. I got in without trouble.

  Deputy Barker started the car, and I marveled at all the little things inside. I saw buttons and a little computer thing, and I wanted to mess with it all.

  I looked sideways. “Can we turn the lights on?”

  He looked at me with a touch of exhaustion. “Are you always this lively?”

  “No,” I said, seriously. “Sometimes I’m sleeping.”

  The smile on his face spread slowly and reluctantly. But that didn’t make mine go away. The way his clear blue eyes seemed glued to me did. He looked at me with… a lot. I couldn’t describe it any other way. He looked at me with years and memories we didn’t have.

  I must have made a face because he pulled it back. “No siren.” He pointed to a button.

  My eyes widened. “I get to do it?”

  “If you want to.”

  I didn’t hesitate. I put my cuffed hands on the switch and watched the lights go. I had the brightest smile on my face because it I’d never seen anything cooler in my life.

  Deputy Barker started the car, turned the lights off, and I buckled up. I couldn’t play anymore, but I still beamed.

  Deputy Barker glanced at me. “You look over the moon right now.”

  “Of course I am. I’m handcuffed in the front seat of a cop car. I win life.”