I relaxed into my seat, watching rain splatter onto the windows and trying to make out the city beyond. Jared was sitting next to me, and he leaned over slightly, his breath fanning my ear as he spoke quietly. “I know of one way to avoid having to travel like that again.”
“Yeah?” I was careful not to turn my head too much, hyperaware that if I did, our lips would be mere inches apart. Not good, given that we were surrounded by people. “What’s that?”
“Easy.” He shrugged. “You said it yourself. You don’t have to face stuff like that when you travel with us, so just keep traveling with us.”
He said it like it was the most obvious answer in the world, but I couldn’t help reading into it. I had to play it cool, though. “Is that your way of inviting yourself on our next sisterly adventure?”
“Yup. I’ll bring my brothers. We’ll make it a family affair.” My heartbeat sped up before I could talk some sense into myself. Quickly, I reminded myself, He doesn’t mean it like that.
Jared sat back after that, his thigh pressed to mine as he turned his attention to the great song debate.
Evening was falling by the time we got to the hotel. The guys grumbled about being hungry and made straight for the hotel bar. Gerry caught my arm before I could go the reception desk to check us in or follow them to the bar.
“Could we have a word before dinner later?” he asked, his voice quiet.
I nodded, a sense of foreboding creeping up on me. “Sure. I’ll meet you in an hour?”
“Sounds good.”
Gerry beat me to the hotel restaurant later, after we’d checked in. He was waiting in a booth set back into an alcove, sipping a glass of water. His eyes lifted as I approached, seeming even more tired than he had earlier. Dark circles were starting to form beneath them, and his shoulders weren’t as stiff as they usually were.
“Thank you for coming,” he greeted me. “Have a seat. I know you’ll be working later tonight, so I’ll make it quick. Water?”
“Please.”
He lifted a silver jug from the table and poured a glass, his features solemn as he pushed it across the table to me. I shrugged out of my coat and hung it over the back of my chair before sitting down. “What’s going on, Gerry? You don’t seem like yourself lately.”
“I’m not, and I’m sorry about that.” He struggled to meet my eyes. As soon as he did, I saw why. His were watery, glassy like he was fighting back tears. “There’s something I need to tell you, and I need you to give me your word that this stays between us for now.”
“Okay.”
“I’m not going to be able to go on tour with you.” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat, regaining control of his emotions before continuing. “I have cancer. I start treatment soon, but no one knows about it yet.”
“What?” I blurted out. Of all the things I was expecting him to tell me, this was the last. Tears jumped to my eyes, and I struggled to keep them from falling. “You have to tell Destitute, Gerry. They’ll want to support you through this. So do I.”
“I know.” He exhaled deeply. “That’s why you can’t tell them, not until they’re on tour. They’ll want to postpone it. Cancel it even, since Jared’s on his ‘leave no man behind’ mission. I can’t allow them to do that. I won’t.”
“But—”
Overwhelming sadness in Gerry’s eyes silenced me. “I know, Alicia. It’s going to be hard keeping this from them, but you have to promise me. It’s the only way.”
His words stayed with me, echoing in my mind hours after our dinner when Jared showed up at my hotel room’s door. The second he saw me, he knew something was wrong. “What is it? What happened?”
“Nothing,” I lied. The lie came to wrap itself around my shoulders as soon as it was out of my mouth, its weight heavy and uncomfortable, but I didn’t have a choice. I had to pretend everything was okay for now, but I knew the news was going to destroy the band on tour.
More than anything, I wanted to confide in Jared. It was going to hit him hardest of all and looking at him every day while knowing this and not telling him was like lying to his face until the tour kicked off.
But it didn’t matter what I wanted because I’d promised Gerry I wouldn’t say a thing. And this was Gerry’s news, his decision.
Swallowing back my guilt, I tried my best to drum up a smile as I wrapped my arms around Jared. “Come on in.”
Fuck. This is going to suck.
CHAPTER 63
JARED
“Good evening, Seattle!” I roared into the microphone, running out on stage for the first time in months. Blood pumping fast through my veins, the energy from the crowd was seeping into my bones. The feeling like slipping on a familiar sweater or a favorite shirt.
There was nothing quite like being onstage, even if the audience was only a couple of hundred strong like they were tonight. Small crowd as it was, the audience radiated excitement. Their cheers nearly burst my eardrums as I ran out, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I lived for this shit.
Despite our lack of prep and practice time for this show, I was so ready to do this. As the stage lights heated my skin at the same time as they stole my view of most of the fans, I couldn’t believe I’d almost given this up.
I’d come this close to walking away from one of the few damn things that truly made me feel alive. I could count them on one hand, actually. Writing a song and hearing it come together, performing that song and soaking up the magnetism from the crowds as they sang it back to me, and being with Alicia. That was the list.
And I’d been days away from losing it all. Idiot.
It took me less than a minute of being back on stage to realize how much I missed being on tour. A huge part of me kicked into high gear, blissfully happy suddenly that the album was finished, so we could finally get back on the road.
Adrenaline coursed through me as I took my spot center stage and waited for the others to take their places. Waiting for the screams to die down some, I flashed my trademark smirk at the crowd and crooned into the mic.
“We’re really excited to be here. Thank you for coming out tonight.”
My words triggered another round of cheering, and I felt the persona slip for a second as I drank it all in. It still amazed me that people got this excited over us. Fucking imagine that!
In my periphery, I saw the rest of the band ready at their instruments. My cue to kick off this show. “We’ve got some new stuff for you.”
Dom was probably going to kick my ass later. We only had to perform three songs tonight and had only planned on playing one of the new ones, but I was changing the plan on the fly.
Fuck it. We’d worked hard on all our new stuff, and Alicia herself said she was leaving it up to us. This was meant to be a teaser performance, and as I pointed out to her, I fucking loved teasing. One song wasn’t going to do it for me, and from the sounds of things, it wasn’t going to satiate the crowd either.
Besides, no filming was allowed in the venue. It would be up to these fans to help us fuel the fires out there by spreading the word about whatever they heard in here. Even if a few bars or frames of our performing the songs leaked, it wasn’t like we were releasing it all at the same time to only these people.
“We can’t wait to hear what you think.” I spoke into the microphone over the sounds of Caleb’s guitar as he strummed the intro to the first song we’d agreed to. Dom fell in with him, and then we were off.
I launched into the song in perfect time, hitting every note and allowing the fever pitch of the energy in the room to fan the flames of my own energy.
After the first song, we played the second song we’d planned. One of the hits off the last album. The fans knew the words to this one, and a grin stretched on my lips as I lifted the mic to them and allowed them to lead us into the chorus.
We played hard, sweat dripping down our foreheads by the time the song was done. Holding up a finger to signal to the crowd that I needed a minute, I appr
oached Dom’s kit, and the others met me there.
“I know what you’re going to ask,” Dom said, breathing hard before taking a long swig of water. “I’m good with playing one more of the new ones if everyone else is.”
In the fastest band meeting in history and surprisingly, the fastest we’d ever reached an agreement on anything relating to our music, we picked another track off the new album and went back to our positions.
Nick led us into this one, starting the intro as I launched the mic into the air and caught it right in time to start singing. The beat was electric and took over the room, creating a tempestuous ripple through the crowd that caught and, by the time the second chorus rolled around, caused the fans to scream it right along with me.
For only playing three songs, we had the audience worked up into a frenzy. I wished we could stay and play the rest of the album, but it was time to wrap it up. Feeling like I’d been denied an orgasm, I raised the mic back to my lips after the cheering from the last song died down.
“That’s all we’ve got for you tonight, folks. It was a pleasure. If you liked it, keep an eye out for tickets for our upcoming tour. We hope to see you all there.”
I turned away from the fans and jogged offstage with the others before I launched into another song or gave in to the crowd begging for an encore. Performance blue balls, if that was a thing, I had it right now.
A roadie threw a towel at me as I hopped off the stage, and I caught it in one hand, wiping my brow and the back of my neck.
“Awesome fucking show!” Matt thumped my shoulder. He’d already pulled off his shirt and stuffed it into his back pocket. “Talk about a comeback.”
“I’d say,” Caleb agreed, his eyes alive in a way I hadn’t seen in a long time. Performing was in our blood, and though I was usually the only one interacting with the crowd, the others were as connected to the energy as I was. “That rocked.”
“Wonderful show, gentlemen,” Alicia’s smooth voice spoke from behind me. I spun to face her, the insane urge to scoop her up into my arms and kiss her until she was breathless almost too much to resist. I was dangerously close to saying fuck whoever was watching, she was my girl, and I didn’t care who knew it.
Nick stood next to me, toweling off with a huge grin on his face aimed right at Alicia. “What do you say? Proud of us like Gerry told us you had to be tonight?”
“Absolutely,” she agreed, beaming at each one of us. For the second time in as many days, I wanted to punch one of my bandmates for looking at her.
They were my best friends, my brothers, but they were also guys, and she was hot. And mine, but they didn’t know that for sure. They might’ve suspected, but as far as they knew for sure, she was fair game, a fact that was starting to bug me more and more by the day.
“Don’t we have an interview to get to?” I snapped, throwing my towel into a basket nearby.
Alicia’s eyes flashed in surprise at the harshness of my tone, but she nodded. “You do. The journalist’s waiting in your dressing room. She asked to speak to you first, Jared.”
“She’s interviewing us separately?” Matt asked, his towel following mine into the basket.
Alicia looked from me to him and back again. “Actually, she said she was okay only talking to Jared if the rest of you wanted to get going.”
“Sweet!” Nick cheered. “More party time. See you tomorrow! Jay, call us when you’re done. I’ll let you know where we are.”
“Thanks a lot,” I grumbled, not excited about being left alone with a reporter again. Not after what happened last time. But a plan was also starting to form in my mind. I’d learned my lesson from that interview that had almost cost me Alicia.
I wasn’t going to make the same mistake again. In fact, I was going to use that lesson to my advantage now. God knew I’d suffered enough to learn from it. It had to count in my favor some time.
“See you later, Jared.” Matt took off down the hallway after Nick, catching up to him at the door. Dom followed shortly after, pausing only to wish me luck.
Fuckers. They thought they were getting off easy, and they were, but now they’d all owe me one.
Thoughts of what I could do with that free time while they were dealing with the reporters and I had Alicia on the tour bus with me made my lips kick up into a smile, even as Caleb’s worried face loomed in front of me. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you? You said they wanted to talk about me being admitted to the hospital. It’s not fair for you to have to face that without me.”
“Don’t worry about it. I have a plan.” So I hadn’t been thinking about the possible questions about Caleb when I’d started formulating the plan, but two birds, one stone.
Sounded like a win to me. “Go with the guys. I’ll join you later. Just be careful, okay?”
“Yes, Dad,” he replied dutifully, winking over his shoulder as he jogged away.
“A plan?” Alicia asked, still waiting for me to walk with her so she could introduce me to the reporter. “What plan?”
“You’ll see soon enough.” And I couldn’t wait to see her reaction when she did.
Curiosity was etched into every beautiful plane of her face, but she didn’t ask again as we took us down the crowded halls to my dressing room. We were stopped every couple of feet, but Alicia briskly led me away from those trying to talk to me, saying we were late to an interview.
No one argued with her. That’s my girl.
The reporter waiting for me in my dressing room was a plump, pretty girl who had a smile like a shark. It wasn’t hard to tell she was probably considered the magazine’s secret weapon. All sweet looking, people wouldn’t expect the brutal stuff from her until she already had you by the balls.
Luckily, I was in the mood to have my balls fondled tonight. Metaphorically speaking, from the reporter, of course.
Alicia? She was welcome and encouraged to really do it if she wanted to later. In the meantime, I was ready to hand them to the reporter on a silver platter. She would think she had me in a corner, but that was exactly where I wanted to be to make the plan work.
“Mr. Larsen.” The reporter crossed the room when we entered, sticking out her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Annie Malhoney.”
“Hey, Annie.” I shook her offered hand and pulled back quickly.
None of my mistakes from the previous interview were being repeated, thank you very much. That included the flirtatious lingering that was expected from me. “You too. Would you excuse me for a minute?”
She nodded, and I ducked into the attached bathroom, grateful to find my duffel with a change of clothes waiting for me in it. I raced through a shower and was ready for the interview a few minutes later.
“Thanks for waiting. Just had to get cleaned up.” I dragged a hand through my wet hair, giving her a polite smile. Taking a seat a safe distance away from the woman, I motioned to the tablet she was holding. “Ready when you are.”
“Right to business,” she mumbled, but I pretended not to hear her.
Fixing me with a toothy smile, she glanced down at the questions on her screen. No doubt both the innocent, sudden smile and that she supposedly needed to double-check her questions were designed to set me at ease, but since I wasn’t tense and had already figured her out, I focused on my plan.
“First things first. Destitute’s new album is done. Are you excited for its release?” What a yawn. Like I was going to say no.
I didn’t let on anything, smiling pleasantly as I nodded. “We can’t wait to hear what people think about it.”
“I’m sure we’ll all love it,” she gushed, checking her screen for her next question.
The tamer questions continued for another couple of minutes before the talons I’d been expecting came out. She came at me hard about Caleb being in the hospital, refusing to settle for an answer she didn’t feel explained everything. Then she questioned me about the weeks none of us had been seen anywhere.
She dug into our scandals on past t
ours, asked what fans could expect from us on this one, and insinuated people were expecting us to get even more wild than usual.
I fielded all her questions expertly, if I had to say it myself.
Everything was going well when she finally stumbled onto the topic I’d been waiting for. Her lips curled into a sweet smile laced with poison as she folded her hands in her lap.
“You’re known to be quite the ladies’ man. It’s always been apparent that you’ll never settle down.” Wow, that was a surprisingly blunt, bitchy way to put it, but this girl didn’t pull her punches. “Tell me, have you ever thought maybe it was time to hang up the old player boots?”
Allowing my first real smile during this interview to break free, I glanced to the corner of the room to make sure Alicia was still standing there, listening. She was.
Here goes nothing.
“Actually, I’ve already hung up those boots.” The woman’s jaw became slack as her head snapped back, and she leaned forward, pushing the tablet recording the interview closer to me so she didn’t miss a word I said. “There’s a woman in my life now, and to be honest, she’s the only one I need. I think looking for her was the reason I could never settle down in the past. I was waiting for her, the woman I’m with now.”
The rest of the interview passed in a blur. All I remembered after that was despite her prodding, I hadn’t revealed Alicia’s identity to the reporter.
When Annie was gone, I looked to the corner where Alicia had been standing, but she was gone too.
Fuck. What if I’d finally admitted the truth, and she hadn’t even heard it?
Movement in the doorway caught my attention, and I turned fully toward it, relief flooding me as I saw Alicia standing there with incredulity written across every inch of her. “I heard every word you said, did you know that?”
CHAPTER 64
ALICIA
I was dreaming. I had to be dreaming. There was no way Jared had really just said all that. Only, I’d been standing right there. I pinched myself twice, and I still didn’t wake up. When he turned to me, there was vulnerability in his eyes and what looked a lot like hope.
My One and Only: A Bad Boy Secret Baby Second Chance Romance Page 95
