“I appreciate that, but this is about Autumn and what she wants. Besides, I guess there’s no undoing it now.” I gave a short chuckle as she patted my back.
“Funny how things don’t work out the way you imagine them. I always dreamed Lance would be the one giving her away, too.” She waved her hand dismissively, as if wiping away dust from a chalkboard. “As long as everyone is happy, I suppose it doesn’t matter.”
She looked at me with a question in her voice, and her brow lifted as if she wanted me to tell her that I didn’t like the way everything was going down. It was too late for that, though. In minutes, Autumn would marry Jason Adams.
Jason, who had cheated on her three times before I stepped in and threatened him. Jason, who had put me in the middle more times than I cared to count. Jason, who didn’t deserve the woman she was becoming before our very eyes.
She was the kind of woman who made me want to be a better man, and I couldn’t understand how anyone, even Jason, could not feel the same way. I hoped that while I was off making myself into someone she could be proud of, Jason would do the same.
“I’m happy for her. I know she’ll be okay.” Because if Jason did anything to hurt her, I would personally kick his ass. Even if I had to go AWOL to do it.
Knowing the happy couple was moving on with their lives together, I knew it was time to move on with mine, so I joined the Marines shortly after Autumn told me the news. In two weeks, I’d be leaving for basic training.
“It’s almost time. I better go and make sure she’s okay. She’s been a bundle of nerves all morning, and she didn’t eat anything.”
“Don’t worry. If she’s a bit wobbly, I’ll keep her upright all the way to the altar.” I realized then that she wouldn’t need me to lean on after the walk up the aisle, and I guessed I understood how fathers felt about losing their little girls in some small way.
Mrs. Cooke stepped away, and I started pacing again, not sure if I could do it. I had to do it. Like it or not, I’d agreed to it.
“Emmett?” I looked up, and Mrs. Cooke was peeking out the door again. “It’s almost time, dear, and she wants to see you for a moment.”
I jumped at the chance to see her and hurried into the room. I nearly tripped over my shiny shoes and fell flat on my face when I finally saw the full vision that was Autumn Cooke standing in front of the tall mirror. Her long white dress swept along the floor when she turned, and her hair, which was usually long and flowing, was pinned up like a princess with little flowers tucked here and there. Her cheeks were as soft as the petals in her bouquet, and she smelled just as sweet. I stopped in awe, jealousy burning through my gut that she would never be mine.
“Emmett, thank you so much for this. I can’t tell you how much it means to me.” She turned around and approached, stumbling on her heels. I caught her hand and held her steady as she stepped forward onto my foot.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m so sorry. I scuffed your shoe.” She gave me an apologetic look, and her eyes grew wet with tears.
“No harm done, Autumn. Better mine than yours. You look beautiful.” I held both of her hands as she stepped back and did a little turn from side to side.
“Do you really think so?”
“Yeah, and you know me, Autumn. I’d never lie to you.” But I was lying. I should have told her right then that I loved her and that she was making the biggest mistake of her life. I should have told her long before that moment, back when it all started.
“Then will you tell me something?” She looked at her mother who was across the dressing room, digging through tissue paper as if she’d lost something special. Autumn leaned in closer. “Do you think I’m doing the right thing?”
I felt a catch in my throat. As badly as I wanted to take her hand, drop to one knee, and tell her that I was the one who was in love with her, the one who could truly make her happy for the rest of her life, I knew I had to take the high road. I was at a loss for words, as usual.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” She let out a long breath. “I know that’s not fair to ask. Jason’s your best friend.”
“You’re my best friend, too, you know? You’re my oldest friend.” I took a deep breath, looking at the hope that filled her eyes. It was hope for a happy future with the man she loved, which for some awful reason was Jason instead of me. But that was my fault for never confessing how I felt. I wasn’t going to say it then, either. I couldn’t ruin her big plans. “It’s going to be everything you’ve ever wanted. You’ll see.”
She reached up and cupped my face, and for a moment, with her staring deep into my eyes, I thought she might kiss me. “You’re the best.” She leaned in and hugged me, but not too hard so she didn’t mess up her dress.
Her expression faded the moment the music started, and then she placed her hand flat on her stomach. “I guess it’s time.”
Her mother hurried over with a little box, “I found the cameo. It was your great grandmother’s.” She handed it to me, and I put it around her neck, making sure it was secure. “You two look so perfect.” I could almost hear her tacking on “together,” but she cleared her throat. “I better get out there.”
She turned and headed out to take her seat. We walked into the hall to stand behind Melissa, who I couldn’t help but notice was no longer wearing her stockings as she waited for her cue.
I thought to myself, I could still stop it, but then my mind took me back to the time when I had met Jason when he’d moved down to Raleigh in fifth grade. The teacher, Ms. Ladd, had seated him next to me and asked me to share my book until she could get him one issued. I thought for a moment how I could blame everything on Ms. Ladd but then remembered how I’d let him come over, which was where he met Autumn.
At first, the two hated each other, and from the way Jason was being mean to her, I didn’t think he would ever like Autumn, much less fall in love with her, but then again, that was when she was all knees, elbows, and pigtails.
By the time I had started to notice her as more than the girl next door, so had Jason, and he’d always seemed to lay the charm on much thicker than I ever could. When the first school dance came around, I considered asking her to go, but Jason had beaten me to the punch. Instead of pretending it didn’t bother me, I should have told him to back off.
Then there were the high school days when he figured out that other girls were interested in him, and he decided to break Autumn’s heart by choosing them. I’d hoped I finally had my chance, but our senior spring break, he wormed his way back in and asked her to marry him.
I knew it had to be a ploy to get her back, but there we were, standing outside the door as Melissa took her cue and started forward.
I turned to look at Autumn and caught her smiling at me. “Thank you for being my friend, Emmett. You’ve been better to me than any brother could have been, and I love you for that.”
I felt a sting in my chest, and the lump in my throat barely allowed me to croak out, “I love you too, Autumn.” Only I didn’t mean it the same way she had. I meant it with all of my heart and with everything in me. The pianist began playing the wedding march, and the doors opened for us.
We took two steps inside as the crowd rose from their seats, and I looked to the front of the room where Jason stood, knowing that he was standing where I should be.
Chapter 2
Autumn
I stepped to the end of the aisle with Emmet, who gripped my hand tightly. It was just the way he did it when we were kids and about to do something difficult. It put me in mind of the time we had walked down the railroad tracks past the Hardy’s tobacco farms and jumped off the trestle into the creek, and the time we ran all the way home from the park because we thought a pack of wild dogs was after us.
It was funny, the things you could remember in no more than a second, and with our first steps, I gripped his hand tightly in return.
I still wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing, but I trusted Emmett more than I trusted my own heart. I had
hoped he’d tell me to come to my senses, but since he hadn’t, I resigned myself to my fate and the decisions that I’d made. There was no turning back now.
He was strong beside me, and I wanted to fall into his arms and beg him to hold me, but instead, my eyes turned to the end of the aisle where they should have been focused all along. I saw Jason, who nudged his younger brother and gave him a wink. I was sure they were probably saying something immature about the honeymoon, but then Jason straightened up, squared his shoulders, and looked more like the man I needed him to be.
I wasn’t entering into the marriage lightly and had voiced my dreams to Jason enough that he should have understood what I expected from our lives together. I had dreams, and he’d assured me he did, too, and that our wedding wouldn’t change them.
We stopped at the end of the aisle, and I held onto Emmett’s hand a little tighter.
Pastor Gregor’s voice rose above the crowd. “Who gives this bride away?”
“Her parents and I do.” Emmett turned and looked deep into my eyes. His kiss on the cheek felt so much like a farewell that I wanted to stop the ceremony and make sure that he wasn’t going anywhere.
He broke free of my hand and, with a smile, stepped away to sit on the end of the aisle with Jason’s family.
Jason took my hand and leaned close to whisper, “You look so hot, baby.”
The pastor cleared his throat, and then, after a little bit of an eye roll which I should have seen as my cue to run, he began talking about marriage as a holy union. I tried to focus, but I couldn’t shake that last kiss from Emmett and how final it felt.
As Pastor Gregor talked about how precious marriage was, I felt even more uncertain that I was doing the right thing, but with all of the eyes upon me, even Emmet’s who seemed to be encouraging me, I knew there was no escaping.
Before I knew it, Pastor Gregor had moved on to Jason’s vows, and he seemed so sincere as he spoke them that I felt a pang of guilt in my gut.
“For as long as you both do live?”
“I do,” Jason said.
I breathed a sigh of relief, and the part of me that was unsure of him was suddenly better with his heartfelt “I do.” He’d said the words with such conviction that it healed any doubts and brought me back to the moment.
“Now if you will repeat after me.” He began reciting the lines that we’d rehearsed.
“I, Autumn Elizabeth Cooke, take you, Jason Lynn Adams.” I stumbled a moment as I looked back to Emmett. His eyes widened as he saw me struggling, and he began to mouth the words. I spoke each one, just as he prompted, until the very end when I turned to Jason and met his eyes. “I do.”
The pastor concluded the ceremony and pronounced us husband and wife.
“You may now kiss your bride.” Father Gregor closed his bible as Jason pulled me close, his grin so wide he could barely work his lips to kiss me at first, but when he did, he dipped me down, kissing me deeply for the entire room to cheer. All but Emmett. As I righted, our eyes met, and he seemed so distant that I knew I needed to talk to him.
Jason whisked me off my feet and carried me down the aisle to the dressing room, where we were going to prepare for the reception. “Can you believe we’re married?”
“I know, right? It seems crazy.” I had waited my whole life for that moment, and although I still had high hopes, it all seemed rather anticlimactic.
Jason locked the door. “You are so sexy in that dress, but I can’t wait to peel it off of you.” He rushed to me, kissing me and pulling me tight against him.
“Jason, you’re going to wrinkle me all up.”
“Come on, let’s fuck, baby. We’re newlyweds; this is what people expect us to be doing.” His hand roamed down, and he started hiking up my gown.
“Not in the church, Jason. That is still frowned upon, no matter what.” I pushed his hand away as I met his eyes and gave him a disapproving look.
He reached down and gripped his bulging pants. “I can’t go out there like this.”
“You’ll have to. We have to go to the reception.” I wondered if he hadn’t married me just so he could have more convenient sex. “There are people I want to see and thank, not to mention that our entire families are out there; some of which I’d like to meet, and others I haven’t seen in ages.”
“Come on, Autumn. It won’t take five minutes.” He let out a huff as I met his eyes and pulled away.
“How romantic.” The look in my eyes challenged him to our first fight as husband and wife, and when I turned to walk out, he grabbed my arm.
“Aw, Autumn. Don’t be mad. It’s our wedding day. I just wanted it to be memorable. I’ve missed you.” I’d only been away from him for one entire day, which wasn’t out of the ordinary for us, but he continued on as if we’d been apart forever. “I thought about you last night and how happy I am to be with you. What a great life we’re going to have.” He looked into my eyes and was so sincere that I couldn’t help but smile.
I believed every word, and it only made me more eager to get to the reception and enjoy ourselves with our friends and family.
“We will have a great life. How could we not together?” I leaned in and kissed his lips, but in my heart, I was still more concerned with Emmett and what was going on with him. “Let’s go out there.”
“Fine, but tonight, you’re all mine.” Jason kissed down my neck and then nuzzled my ear. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” We took a moment to hold each other, and then as we turned to walk out, I took his hand. “Did you notice anything wrong with Emmett?”
“Emmett? No. He seemed all right to me. He’s probably just thinking that now that we’re married, I won’t have time to hang out with him.” Jason had a point. Emmett had always felt like a third wheel at times, even though he never was in mine and Jason’s eyes, but he had been distant since I told him we were going to be married.
We went out into the hallway and headed for the reception room doors. “That’s probably it. I just wondered if there was anything else.”
Jason turned his eyes away and then looked back at me with a sigh. “I’m sure he’ll tell you today.”
I pulled his hand, and we stopped in the middle of the hall. “Tell me what?”
“He didn’t want you to know until after the wedding.”
“The wedding is over, so you better start talking.” Jason met my eyes, and I knew with that one look that he wasn’t going to tell me. “Fine, I’ll ask him myself.” I turned and walked into the room with the sole purpose of finding him, but as I opened the door, the deejay interrupted the music and announced us.
Jason and I walked into the crowd of our family and friends, who all clapped and cheered for us. Then it was on to the dances and taking photographs.
It wasn’t until after we cut the cake and the crowd lined up to eat that I saw my mother pull Emmett from a table in the corner where he seemed to be hiding out. He never was one for social engagements and had always hung back from the crowd at birthday parties, too.
“Look who I found.” Mom dragged him across the room behind her. “I think he thought he’d get away without having a dance, but since your father isn’t here to dance with you, I think Emmett should do the honor.”
I could tell by the look on his face that he didn’t want to do it, but since he was keeping something secret until after the wedding, I wasn’t so inclined to let him off the hook. “I’d love a dance, Emmett. Thank you, Mom.” I turned and took his hand as he let out a long sigh.
“You know how much I hate this.”
I walked him to the middle of the dancefloor. “Stop being a baby. No one is looking at us. They all want cake.”
At that moment, the deejay announced us. “Autumn has a very special guest, the man who gave her away today, who not only has been in her life for as long as anyone can remember but is also the groom’s best friend and someone we might hold responsible for this occasion. Let’s give it up for Emmett Burke!”
&nbs
p; The crowd cheered again, and Emmett’s eyes widened. “Right, no one is looking. They all want cake.”
The slow song played, and Emmett led me around on the dancefloor as I looked up to see my mother standing with the deejay.
“You know this doesn’t mean things have to change, right? We’ll still be together; you’re still our best friend.” I placed my hand on his chest and looked up into his eyes, hoping he’d tell me what was going on.
“We’re growing up, Autumn. Things are bound to change a little.”
“Tell me, Emmett.” I wasn’t going to stop dancing with him until he spilled whatever it was he wasn’t telling me.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Jason told me a minute ago that you’re keeping something from me.”
He threw his head back and took a deep breath. “I didn’t want to cloud the day, Autumn. You’ve waited for this since we were kids.”
“Right, and don’t think I forgot about my first wedding. Or my first groom.” I had dressed him up in one of my father’s suit coats and made him play my groom for the first time when we were about seven.
He gave a half-hearted laugh. “Those times didn’t count.”
“They did. They counted for a lot. And don’t think you’re going to distract me. I want to hear it, Emmett. What’s so horrible that it’s going to cast a horrible shadow on my day?” I laughed it off, not really thinking there was anything he could ever do to cause my disapproval.
“I’m leaving soon.”
“For college? I thought you were going local.” He had been very smart in school, graduating just under me at the top of our class, so I knew he had options.
“I joined the Marines. I signed the final papers yesterday, and I leave in a couple of weeks.”
I felt as if someone threw ice water on me. “So, you won’t be around. You should have told me before the wedding, Emmett. I would have spent more time with you.”
“While you were planning your wedding? I knew you had a lot on your plate with all of this.”
I’d been so busy with my whirlwind wedding; I hadn’t thought that anything would change. I surely didn’t expect him to be moving on to a life that meant he would be going away.
My One and Only: A Bad Boy Secret Baby Second Chance Romance Page 133
