The See-Through Leopard

by Sibel Hodge

  ‘OK, OK, I’ll do it,’ I said breathlessly before they changed their minds.

  Zach sat back down, the ghost of a grin on his lips. ‘Good. Well, if we’re going to do this, we need to think of a name for her.’

  ‘A name,’ I repeated, thinking. What did you call an African leopard? Somehow I didn’t think Fluffy or Spotty would be appropriate. It needed to be something special.

  ‘How about Asha?’ Zach said. ‘It means life in Swahili. If you pull this off, you’ll be giving her back her life.’

  I rolled the name around my tongue. ‘Asha.’ It was perfect. I smiled back at him. ‘I love it.’

  Zach stood once again and held his hand out for me to shake. ‘Then we have a deal.’

  He took my limp hand in his firm grip, calmly appraising me as we shook on it.

  It wasn’t until he’d left I realised that, apart from Dad and Katrina, he was the first person I’d looked square in the eyes since the accident. For a few moments, I’d completely forgotten about my face.

  Chapter 7

  After Zach left, Dad leaned back in his chair, looking between me and Asha, his lips pressed together in a pensive line.

  ‘Are you sure you’re up to this?’ he asked me gently.

  I glanced down at Asha in my lap as she lay on her back, her eyes half closed but still never wavering from my face. I nodded firmly at Dad. I was more sure of it than anything. How could I let her live the rest of her life in a zoo? It would be a prison, and I knew all about living in those.

  ‘I’m positive,’ I said.

  He studied me for a long time and then rubbed his hands on his trousers. ‘Well, then.’ He got to his feet. ‘Looks like I’d better bring the rest of that formula in from the Land Rover.’

  After lugging in plastic baby bottles, milk powder, and tubs of various other vitamins and calcium supplements that he said she’d need, he left it all on the kitchen table.

  ‘She’s going to need feeding every two hours at the moment,’ he said, showing me how to mix up the formula and add the other nutrients. ‘Have you got any questions before I get back to work? We’ve got a lion being brought in today from the Masai Mara area for re-release here. Apparently, it’s been attacking the Masai cattle and they want to establish it somewhere else before it gets shot, so I need to get going. It’s all hands on deck.’

  ‘I’m fine,’ I said. ‘I’ve got the radio if I need to contact you.’

  He kissed me on the top of the head. ‘Well, make sure you do that. And don’t go wandering off in the bush again, especially with her. If she gets lost, she won’t survive.’

  After he left, I spent the afternoon getting to know Asha and showing her round the house. She ignored most of it and seemed content to follow me everywhere as I chatted to her in a soft voice. She’d let me know if she wanted a cuddle by mewing at me, although the desperation I’d heard in her voice earlier had gone now. After feeding her, I realised that there could be a potential potty training problem when she weed on the wooden floorboards in the kitchen, so from then on, after she’d had her feed, I took her outside and sat on the steps, putting her gently down onto the parched soil and rubbing her belly so she would hopefully go to the toilet. She learned quickly, and after the third time she seemed to get the hang of it.

  The hazy light of the fading day was settling on the horizon when Dad arrived back and found me dozing in a hammock on the veranda with little Asha tucked into the crook of my arm, her head resting on my stomach.

  ‘Looks like you’ve had a busy day,’ he said, taking off his hat and wiping his forehead with the back of his hand.

  ‘It was great.’ I grinned back at him, chatting incessantly like a proud parent about how Asha had taken all of her feed, had her first potty-trained wee, and behaved like the perfect child.

  I picked Asha up and set her down on the floor as we walked into the kitchen. She followed so close behind me I felt her whiskers on the back of my legs. ‘How was the lion release? Did everything go OK?’ I asked.

  ‘It went perfectly. Hopefully he’ll have a couple of new girlfriends before long. We’ve got too many lionesses here at the moment and not enough males. I think he’s going to be a lucky boy!’ He looked in the fridge and pulled out an onion, some peppers, a tomato, and some eggs. ‘Do you fancy an omelette for dinner?’

  I realised then that I was starving. All this being on constant alert to make sure Asha was OK and not getting into mischief was making me hungry. ‘I’d love one.’

  He got to work on the omelette and I heard a knock at the door. I glanced questioningly at Dad.

  ‘That will be Zach,’ he said.

  ‘Zach? Why?’ I whispered, my heartbeat dancing around as I remembered trying to eat in front of him at the lodge and the disastrous water incident.

  ‘Because you two are going to be working closely with each other on this and you need to get to know each other,’ he whispered back, then called out to Zach, ‘Come in. We’re in the kitchen.’

  Zach appeared in the doorway, looking fresh and clean, his hair damp from a recent shower. I could smell a mixture of outdoors and something fragrant. It wasn’t until he spoke that I realised I was staring at his lips.

  I quickly looked down to the floor at Asha who was standing on her hind legs, begging to be picked up.

  ‘Come and sit down.’ Dad nodded his head to the table, then dished up two plates of the omelette. ‘Tuck in,’ he said to us.

  ‘Aren’t you eating?’ I asked, noticing that he hadn’t got anything for himself.

  ‘Oh, didn’t I mention it? I’m eating up at the lodge. I’ve got a few exciting ideas about a possible rhino breeding programme I want to talk over with Richard.’ He patted us both on the shoulder and said, ‘Won’t be long.’

  I stared at the food on my plate.

  Zach picked up his fork and popped a piece into his mouth. ‘Aren’t you hungry?’

  I could feel the weight of his gaze on my face and I felt a red rash of embarrassment creeping up my neck.

  ‘How’s Asha been?’ He shifted in his chair so he could get a better look at her where she’d settled under the table, playing with the laces on my walking boots.

  ‘She’s been very well behaved.’ I stole a tentative look at him from underneath my fringe as he concentrated on Asha. Satisfied he wasn’t looking at me, I picked up my fork and slowly swallowed a mouthful of food. And before I knew it, I’d filled him in on Asha’s day and the food had disappeared.

  He pushed his plate away and leaned back in the chair. ‘We need to talk about a plan for her.’

  ‘What sort of a plan?’ I stood up and deposited the plates in the sink, turning my back to him. Asha followed me and continued to play with my laces as I made up her formula.

  ‘If this is going to work, you’re going to essentially be her mum for the next two years. That means you’ll have to play with her to hone her natural hunting instincts, then eventually teach her to hunt. You’ll have to exercise her daily to build up her strength, show her the area that’s going to be her home, teach her to climb.’

  At least I knew how to do one of those things well. I sat down at the table again, deposited Asha on my lap and let her suck greedily from the bottle. ‘I understand that.’

  ‘She can’t live in the house forever, she’s not a pet. When she’s about four months old her mum would naturally introduce her to feeding on her kills so we have to feed her with carcasses.’ I felt his cool eyes on me, making sure I was taking this all in.

  Carcasses? Dead animals? The omelette suddenly wasn’t sitting very well in my stomach.

  ‘I hope you’re not squeamish because you’ll have to feed her,’ he said.

  I glanced up sharply. ‘Me? Can’t you feed them to her?’

  He shook his head. ‘Like I said, you’re her mum. You have to be able to do everything she would for her.’ He paused, letting it sink in. ‘Can you do that? Because you can’t just start this and then back out a few months dow
n the line. I’m trying to prepare you for what will happen if it all goes to plan.’

  The thought of having to haul around dead animals to feed her was disgusting, but then, what did I think I was going to feed her? Industrial-sized tins of Kitty Kat? In fact, I hadn’t thought about it. I hadn’t thought about the seriousness of the situation until then. But one thing I did know was that I was going to do everything in my power to make sure she was released back into the reserve with a fighting chance of survival.

  ‘There will come a time when we have to introduce her to live prey and teach her to hunt for herself,’ he went on.

  ‘How can you watch that, though?’ I asked. ‘One animal tearing another to pieces.’

  ‘It’s the law of nature, Jazz.’ He shrugged. ‘There will always be animals that are predators and those that are prey. It keeps an equal balance. It’s not something you can ever change.’ He rested his elbows on the table and leaned forwards. ‘We’ll need to build an enclosure for her somewhere nearby. I’ve seen a good spot just outside that I think would work.’

  I stroked Asha’s soft underbelly as he spoke. When she finished suckling, I put her back down on the floor.

  ‘Sorry, I need to take her for a toilet run.’ I walked towards the front door, calling Asha’s name and she obediently followed me as Zach brought up the rear.

  I sat down on the steps and Zach sat next to me. We both watched her sniffing the ground, maybe seeing if it was a good spot to do her toilet duties. His thighs were so close to mine, I could feel the heat from his body radiating out into my skin. I shuffled away slightly. There was no way I wanted him catching a look at my face in this close proximity.

  ‘And, of course, I’ll be filming the whole thing,’ he said.

  I swallowed back the lump in my throat and nodded. I’d make sure that I wore my hat pulled down low over my face.

  He stood up, walked to his Land Rover and opened the door. When he came back he carried a rubber tyre and a long stick with a piece of rope tied to the end. ‘Toys.’ He held them out. ‘Some people think that wild predators have a natural hunting instinct and some think it’s learned from their mothers. I think it’s a bit of both, but playing helps that instinct to come out. It’s something they’d do in the wild and it will build her strength up, too.’

  He put the tyre on the ground and I took the stick, holding it in my hand and dangling the rope in front of Asha, swishing it from side to side. She looked cross-eyed as she tried to focus on it, her paws sweeping in the air in front of her in a very uncoordinated way. At least it might save my laces from annihilation.

  ‘We’ll need to take her for walks every morning and afternoon to build her strength up,’ he said, watching Asha. ‘Small ones at first, then gradually longer and longer.’

  ‘OK.’ I laughed when she reached up to the rope and fell onto her back.

  I heard him chuckle next to me and watched out of the corner of my eye as he turned his head towards me. ‘What happened back at the lodge this morning?’ he said softly.

  I felt my stomach muscles clench and turned my head away from his, looking out at the fading sunset of oranges, reds, and yellows slicing through the sky. If I told him, would he laugh at me like all the other people had at school? Would he make a horrible comment and point out that I deserved it?

  And then from nowhere, I felt this sudden urge to tell him what had happened. I hadn’t talked to anyone in a long time. Not really talked. All these feelings and thoughts I’d bottled up inside seemed to spill to the surface.

  I opened my mouth. Closed it. Took a deep breath. ‘There are a couple of girls staying at the lodge and they were mean to me,’ I finally said, still staring at the sky disappearing into darkness. ‘They called me things.’ I held my breath, waiting for the cutting remark or the laugh of ridicule.

  ‘Just because someone says something, it doesn’t mean it’s true. There are always going to be people who think they’re better than you,’ he said. ‘You’re never going to change that. But you’re the only one who has power over your thoughts. It doesn’t matter what they think. The only thing that’s important is what you think.’

  Chapter 8

  It felt like I only managed to snatch a few hours sleep every night. I set my alarm clock to get up and feed Asha regularly, and what with the time spent suckling on the bottle and outside toilet duties, it seemed like I’d no sooner got to sleep than I was up again, ready to start the next round. I tried to settle Asha down on a few blankets next to my bed, but she cried and cried until I lifted her onto the bed next to me and she quickly snuggled up to any available patch of skin.

  The days settled into an easy routine. Zach arrived twice a day at six a.m. and around five p.m. in between his game ranger duties, and we took a short walk through the bush with Asha on a lead. She had a bright-eyed curiosity about everything, chasing beetles, flies, and anything that seemed to move, practising her hunting skills for later life. Lizards were a particular favourite of hers, but all the insects and reptiles made strange noises for her to investigate. I was very conscious of Zach filming me and little Asha as we took in the sights of the reserve. There were many times when the brim of my hat was so low over my face that I didn’t see fallen branches or rocks until it was too late and ended up tripping over them, nearly dying of embarrassment.

  ‘Take your hat off,’ he said one day while he filmed us from a little way behind. ‘You’re going to hurt yourself.’

  I shook my head. No way. I still couldn’t believe I’d even agreed to be on camera at all, but then, I had no choice. Not if I wanted to do what was best for Asha.

  ‘Have you lived here all your life?’ I asked, trying to change the subject.

  He turned the camera off and caught up with me. ‘As soon as I was old enough to walk this bush became my playground. When I was growing up, Dad took me everywhere. He’d spend hours filming the wildlife, and his love for Africa was infectious. There’s nothing like it on earth, and I could never imagine being anywhere else.’

  We wandered down towards the river that snaked through the reserve, and I felt his hand grab my arm, stopping me in my tracks.

  He pointed to a huge black snake in our path. ‘It’s a black mamba.’

  I launched myself onto Zach with fright, my arms latched round his neck and my knees shaking.

  Asha instinctively froze, staring at the snake with a suspicious frown crinkled on her face.

  The snake reared up its head, hissing.

  ‘Don’t move.’ He held me round the waist firmly. ‘It’s the most poisonous snake in Africa. They’re normally shy, but if they feel cornered they can get pretty aggressive.’

  I felt my heartbeat banging hard, threatening to explode. I took hold of Asha’s collar in case she got a stupid idea to try and investigate it.

  ‘Back up a bit.’ He clutched me tight into his body as we stepped back slowly.

  I watched, shaking, as the snake gave us one last look and slithered away. I finally allowed myself to breathe again.

  Zach released his arm.

  ‘You OK?’ he asked.

  I nodded warily. ‘I’ve never been that close to a dangerous snake before.’

  ‘You always have to be alert out here. You never know what you’re going to come across round the next corner.’ He patted his rifle slung over one shoulder. ‘This comes in handy to fire warning shots in case something gets out of hand.’

  We waited until the snake had well and truly disappeared before I released Asha and we carried on to the river. A gazelle stood with its feet in the shallows as it was drinking, looking up skittishly every now and then to search for possible danger. I spied a large monitor lizard busy sunning itself on the rocks and keeping a beady eye on the dragonflies hovering over the water. It was oblivious to a jackal silently creeping up behind it.

  I wondered who would get their prize first, the lizard or the jackal. The gazelle barked out an alarm that sent the lizard scuttling for cover. It looked like
neither of them would get their breakfast.

  We sat on the banks of the river and Asha put her front legs in the water and then dashed back out again, shaking her paws and staring at them in wonder. Backwards and forwards she went until she plucked up enough courage to stand with all four paws in. Then she couldn’t get enough of it, splashing around to her heart’s content, pawing at fish under the surface.

  ‘So, you’re not used to snakes, huh?’ Zach said.

  ‘No.’

  ‘I bet with your mum and dad being so obsessed with animals you must’ve had some weird and wonderful pets, though.’

  I gazed at the shimmering water. ‘Well, Mum was always bringing home waifs and strays from her job as a veterinary nurse, but I kind of left her to it. I wasn’t really in to animals.’

  His eyes widened and he gave me an odd look, as if I’d just told him that the clouds rained chocolate. ‘Not into animals?’ He shook his head softly. ‘Wow, you’ve missed out on a lot.’

  I shrugged. Maybe it was because my parents were both so obsessed with animals that I was jealous of all the ones my mum brought home, and I always felt like Dad abandoned us, really. He spent so much time at the safari park, he was hardly at home when I was growing up. But now things had changed. If this was going to be Asha’s world then I wanted to know everything about it so I could prepare her for life out here in the bush.

  ‘I want you to teach me about this place and the animals,’ I said, looking at the jackal that had reappeared, trying to sniff out the lizard.

  ‘I can teach you, but it’s easier to show you, and that will take a long time. It’s a bit different from England, eh?’ He glanced at me and laughed, a deep, throaty sound that washed over me.

  ‘A million miles away.’ I turned my face up to the sky to watch an eagle circling high in the air. ‘You can’t even believe when you’re out here in the bush that the lodge is so nearby, with all its luxuries and posh guests.’

  ‘My mum and dad bought this place thirty years ago. Kilingi means protector in Swahili, and that was their vision for the reserve. They wanted it to be a sanctuary for all the animals here. We’re an approved release site for orphaned or injured animals, so we often have new arrivals here, and we offer guests some of the most spectacular big game sightings.’ He paused. ‘Do you know what I love about it here? The simplicity of it all. It’s raw, it’s primal, it’s exhilarating. It’s about survival on the very basic level. Whether you’re watching the annual migration of zebra and wildebeest, or seeing a lion stalk its prey, or watching a jackal irritate a lizard, you never know what the next day will bring.’ He swept a hand round in the air. ‘People pay a lot of money to come out here and see all this. Do you know how many people would love to be doing what you’re doing right now? Instead of sitting in their office, in their busy cities, worrying about what they look like or reading celebrity magazines to see whether Britney Spears has had a bum implant or not.’