The See-Through Leopard

by Sibel Hodge

  ‘We’ve also increased the number of anti-poaching teams and rangers at Kilingi. Some species on the reserve have twenty-four hour guards trailing them—a sad necessity to keep them safe. I would ask all of you to get involved. To help spread the word, help with funding to introduce programmes globally, where local people can work together with conservationists to protect these species. To help provide education and lobbying groups to tell the world exactly what is going on.

  ‘This planet doesn’t just belong to humankind, it belongs to every single creature on it, and what right do we have to decide that their lives should be cruelly stripped away?’ I inhaled a breath. ‘When they’re gone, they’re gone, and what an ugly and colourless world it would be without them in it. Right now we’re living in the middle of a battle to save our planet and all the creatures that live on it.’

  I looked up and saw tears rolling down some of the guests’ eyes. I swallowed back the lump in my throat. ‘If my words haven’t touched you and prompted you to take action before it’s too late, let me leave you with the words of a Cree prophecy.’

  I glanced down at my notes and took a deep breath. ‘“When all the trees have been cut down, when all the animals have been hunted, when all the waters are polluted, when all the air is unsafe to breathe, only then will you discover you cannot eat money.”’ I let my gaze rest on the crowd. ‘Thank you.’ And as I walked away from the podium, everybody stood, clapping with so much emotion I could feel it in the air like static.

  Zach held his arms out, his eyes red and watering, with a proud smile plastered firmly on his face.

  I stepped into his strong arms. ‘Was I OK?’ I whispered.

  ‘You were fantastic.’ His lips brushed against my ear sending shock waves through every fibre of my body.

  ****

  By the end of the evening, Zach and I had probably spoken to half the five hundred-strong crowd. We met many people who were trying to introduce similar education programmes in other parts of Africa and the rest of the world, and we had several offers of funding assistance for our own education programme and the protection for our animals, plus many more contact details of people who wanted to help. We stepped into the lift at two o’clock in the morning, exhausted, but ecstatic.

  ‘What a surreal night,’ I said, my mouth aching from smiling.

  ‘You know, if I’d have told you two years ago you’d be standing up in front of all those people and talking so passionately about conservation, you’d have laughed your head off.’ He shook his head slightly. ‘Oh, no, wait. You didn’t laugh much back then.’ He pressed his thumb and forefinger to his chin, thinking. ‘Actually, you probably would’ve punched me at the time for even suggesting it.’

  I play punched him on the arm. ‘There you go, just in case you think I don’t care.’

  ‘There’s a bottle of champagne in the fridge in my room. I think we should celebrate.’ Zach grinned at me as the lift announced its arrival on our floor with a ping.

  ‘Sounds good to me. I’m not sure I ever want this night to end. It’s been amazing.’

  Zach opened the door to his room and I followed him in. He took his jacket off and slung it on the back of a chair and removed his tie, undoing the top few buttons of his shirt. ‘That’s better. I’m much more comfortable in my ranger’s uniform.’

  ‘I know how you feel,’ I said, kicking off my high heels. ‘Give me shorts and my hiking boots any day.’

  He turned to the fridge and reached in for the bottle of champagne, and I stared at his back as the shirt fabric strained against his broad shoulders. When he turned back round, he caught me staring and I quickly turned my attention to the chilled glass he held out to me.

  ‘Here.’ His fingertips skimmed mine as I took it.

  ‘Thanks.’

  He popped the cork on the bottle to a loud bang and filled my glass before filling his own. ‘Congratulations, Jazz. You were fantastic.’ He smiled over the rim of his glass and my stomach did a flip-flop. After he’d taken a sip, he looked serious, ‘I have to tell you something.’

  Oh, God, what’s he going to say? He’s got a girlfriend?

  ‘Sounds ominous,’ I said, hoping it wouldn’t be that. Anything but that. But how could I expect any different? He was a fantastic guy, and I was surprised no one had snagged his heart already.

  We stared into each other’s eyes for a second, and for the first time since I’d known him he looked nervous and unsure of himself. ‘You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, and you don’t know how much it’s killed me trying not to kiss you all this time.’ He looked at me with hungry, hooded eyes before setting his glass down on the table. ‘You don’t have any idea what a strong and sexy woman you are, do you?’

  I shook my head softly in a kind of daze, unable to believe what I was hearing.

  He took my glass from my hand and set it next to his before reaching out and enveloping me in his arms so my chest was pressed against the hard muscles of his torso. I could feel the heat from him seeping into every pore as he stared deep into my eyes.

  Slowly, he tucked my hair behind my ear, his touch almost paralysing me. ‘I’m so proud of you.’

  I wanted to say thanks, but my mouth had suddenly stopped working.

  He kept his eyes on mine, and I was lost in a haze of topaz as he leaned his face towards me and brushed his lips on mine.

  It didn’t take my mouth long to come back to life, then, I can tell you! As I opened my lips, his tongue sought mine, clashing in an urgent and passionate kiss. I could’ve sworn my knees were about to give away.

  My brain scrambled for thoughts. I was here, kissing the most amazing man, who I’d been in love with for a long time. What was about to happen, and would it ruin our friendship?

  But the next words out of his mouth told me all I needed to know.

  Chapter 29

  He pulled back from our first kiss with a sexy, lopsided smile on his face. Running a fingertip down my cheek with one hand, he cupped my chin with the other. ‘God, I love you.’

  I gasped in surprise, the shock of all that was happening turning my brain to mush. ‘Y…you love me?’

  He nodded firmly. ‘You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. On the inside and out. You’ve got such courage and determination.’

  I blushed, looking into his eyes. ‘I thought you said I was stubborn.’

  He grinned. ‘Yeah, you’re that, too.’

  ‘But…w…why didn’t you tell me any of this before?’ I stuttered.

  ‘Because when you came to Kilingi you were a mess. You were grieving, angry, depressed, and your self-esteem was in the gutter. You hated yourself and everything around you. The word safari means journey, and you had to go on your own journey,’ he whispered huskily. ‘It wouldn’t have mattered what I told you, you would’ve never believed me. It wouldn’t have made any difference until you believed in yourself again. No one else can make you feel sad or happy or scared except you, and I had to let you work through it all on your own. What I saw when I looked at you was something polar opposites apart from what you felt about yourself, and until you learned to forgive and love yourself, how could you learn to love anyone else?’ He stroked my face and the hairs on the back of my neck rose. ‘Plus, I didn’t know if you were going to stay. I didn’t want anything to happen between us if you were going to go back to England. I don’t think my heart could’ve coped with it, and I know there aren’t many women who would want to share the life I live with animals. It’s too much to ask someone.’

  ‘But you did make a difference to me. I’ve learned so much from you. You’re right, it was a journey, but I couldn’t have done it on my own.’

  ‘I’ve learned things from you, too,’ Zach said. ‘You’ve taught me so much about bravery and determination, and how it can get you through anything in life.’

  ‘I want that life now. With you. With the animals. Out in Africa. I can’t imagine ever being anywhere else.’ I slid my fingers
underneath his shirt and ran them along his back, melting into him and never wanting to let him go. ‘I love you, Zach. More than you can imagine.’

  His lips crushed mine and my hand slid to the back of his neck.

  When I pulled back for air, I whispered, ‘It’s my first time.’

  ‘Are you sure this is what you want?’ He gently kissed behind my ear and nuzzled his face into my neck.

  I almost died of ecstasy on the spot, melting at his touch. ‘Yes,’ I whispered, my voice husky.

  ‘I promise I’ll be gentle.’

  In between kisses we somehow moved to the bed, although I wasn’t aware of it until I felt the back of the mattress against my legs because every part of my body was only aware of his touch. He pushed me gently down onto the sheets, never breaking lip contact, and I felt for the buttons on his shirt, fumbling rapidly in a rush to feel his skin against mine, in such a hurry that I only managed to release a couple of them.

  He sat up and undid them slowly, staring deep into my eyes as his tanned chest came into view, and I realised that he’d never taken his shirt off in front of me before in all the time we’d been wandering around in the hot African sun.

  Then I found out the reason why.

  I sat up abruptly, staring at the crisscross of faint scars that ran over his chest. I touched them with my fingertips then stared up at his face, confused.

  My eyes widened. ‘How did you get those?’

  ‘I made a mistake with a lion and I paid the price.’ He shrugged.

  ‘Kira?’ I asked.

  ‘Protecting Kira. When I was training her, we suddenly came across a lioness who didn’t like the idea of a strange female in her territory. Before I knew what was happening, Kira and the lioness were fighting. The other lioness was bigger and stronger and had more experience, Kira was getting injured badly. Stupidly, I forgot my rifle so I couldn’t fire a warning shot in the air. The only thing I could do was make as much noise as possible to try and frighten her off. So I banged the door of the Land Rover and shouted as loud as I could, but it didn’t seem to scare her. Instead, she left Kira and turned her attention to me. She pounced on me, claws slicing through my skin, before Kira got a second wind and came out fighting to protect me, despite her injuries. She put up one hell of an attack which gave time for one of the rangers, who was nearby and heard what was happening, a chance to get to us and fire off some shots. I was attacked by one lion and saved by another.’ He glanced down at his chest. ‘This is a reminder that things don’t always go to plan and you have to live every second that you have to the full.’

  I rested my hand over his scars and looked up at him. ‘Why didn’t you tell me? You knew how I felt about mine.’

  He took my hand and kissed my palm. ‘It’s like I told you; everybody has scars. Would it have made any difference to how you felt about me?’ He looked down at me through hooded eyes.

  I smiled and shook my head. ‘No.’

  ‘It doesn’t define who I am, just like your scars don’t define you.’ He leaned over and locked me in a passionate kiss, and suddenly there was no more talking going on.

  Epilogue

  We followed Asha in the Land Rover and watched her climb from the bottom of the rocks to the cave we’d sheltered in from the rains all those months ago. She got to the entrance of the cave and sat there, shifting her gaze between us and something at the back.

  ‘Why isn’t she coming to see us?’ I asked Zach.

  He took the binoculars away from his eyes and handed them to me. ‘Her protective instinct is kicking in.’

  Asha walked to the rear of the cave so we could just see the end of her tail. A few moments later, she reappeared in the entrance with something in her mouth.

  I pointed at the tiny bundle of fur that wriggled as Asha set it down gently on the rocks for us to see.

  ‘She must’ve just had it!’ I sighed happily. ‘I wonder if it’s a girl or a boy.’

  Asha licked her newborn cub and looked at us to make sure we were watching. A proud new mother.

  ‘What an amazing sight.’ Zach draped an arm round my shoulder. ‘While you were gaining a boyfriend in England, she was gaining one out here. That makes you a granny now!’

  ‘Oi!’ I squeezed Zach’s hand, my heart swelling with happiness for her. ‘We’re so privileged to see that. No, maybe privileged is an understatement. We’re blessed.’

  ‘Maybe she’s bringing the cub out to say thanks to you.’

  ‘Seeing this is the only thanks I need.’ I rested my head on his shoulder while Asha patiently cleaned and suckled her little one for hours.

  I still couldn’t believe she was now a mother herself. Asha. My beautiful girl, whose name meant life in Swahili. When Zach had said all those months ago that I’d be giving her her life back, I never imagined what would happen along the way. With all my heart I hoped that she went on to live a long and happy one. But it was me who should’ve been thanking her, because she’d given me my life back, too.

  The radio crackled, interrupting the contented scene of mother and baby. ‘Jazz, come in Jazz,’ Dad’s voice said.

  ‘Go ahead, Dad.’

  ‘Can you come back to the lodge? We’ve had a call from the Masai Mara National Park. A female leopard was killed by poachers and they’ve found two of her cubs nearby. They’re about four weeks old, and they’re on the way here now.’

  The smile dropped off my face.

  I felt the fury and sadness burning deep within me like acid as I looked at Zach, who shook his head gravely.

  When would the killing ever stop?

  A Note from the Author

  Thanks so much for buying The See-Through Leopard. I hope you enjoyed it. A percentage of the royalties from this book will be donated to Panthera’s Anti-Poaching Campaign and various other anti-wildlife crime campaigns.

  This novel came about for several reasons…

  Ever since I was a kid, I was obsessed with wildlife documentaries. I even wanted to marry David Attenborough when I grew up! Every chance I got (and still do), I’d watch the spectacular footage of these animals in their natural habitats. Their beauty and intelligence never fails to amaze me. We have a unique relationship with animals. They have the ability to create so much happiness in our lives and open our hearts. I believe what we do to them, we do to humankind.

  A few years ago, I read Beautiful by Katie Piper, an inspiring story of a courageous woman who was scarred by acid, and it got me thinking about how we live in a world where we perceive beauty based on how we look, not what we do, and how being “different” can affect someone so much. As Khalil Gibran said, “Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” If only we took those words on board, the world would be a much better place to live.

  Then, of course, there’s grief—whether it’s the loss of a person, a pet, a relationship, or dream. It’s something we all go through, but yet we feel so alone. There’s no quick fix, and the only one that can heal yourself is you. But I wanted to show that even though it can be a long road, it is possible to heal and create fertility and positivity from grief, and sometimes our healing begins in the most unexpected ways.

  And then I started looking into poaching and illegal wildlife trafficking, and its detrimental effects on many species. That’s when all the pieces for this book clicked into place. If things carry on as they are, we won’t be able to see some of these animals in the wild anymore, and I wanted to write a book that highlighted the plight that these creatures face every day. They don’t have a voice, but we do.

  Although this book is fiction, it’s based on the sad fact that thousands of animals are dying every year due to poaching and wildlife trafficking. The only thing that stands in the way of these animals and extinction is us. Together we can all do something to stop this happening. We can help to spread the word. We can lobby our governments to provide better laws and protection. We can educate people. We can get involved with and support reputable conservation organi
zations. We can care enough to do something.

  When they’re gone, they’re gone. Please don’t let it be too late.

  But don’t take my word for it. In the following pages you can read some quotes that put these animals’ lives into perspective, along with links to various conservations organizations.

  Peace & Love

  Sibel XX

  “The fact is that no species has ever had such wholesale control over everything on earth, living or dead, as we now have. That lays upon us, whether we like it or not, an awesome responsibility. In our hands now lies not only our own future, but that of all other living creatures with whom we share the earth.” -- David Attenborough

  “The global value of illegal wildlife trade is between $7.8 billion and $10 billion per year. It is a major illicit transnational activity worldwide—along with arms, drugs and human trafficking. High-level traders and kingpins are rarely arrested, prosecuted, convicted or punished for their crimes.

  Even more worrying, these species cannot survive high levels of poaching for long.”

  SOURCE -- WWF

  “Leopards are one of the most persecuted big cats as a result of retaliatory killing by livestock owners, poorly managed trophy hunting, and illegal hunting for fur and body parts for the commercial trade in Asia. Leopards are now extinct in 6 countries which they formerly occupied, and their presence in 6 additional countries is very uncertain.” SOURCE -- PANTHERA

  “In the 1960s an estimated 70,000 black rhinos were found in Africa and in 1981 the numbers had dropped to around 15,000, and only twelve years later, slightly more than 2000 of the population remained. The main cause of decline is poaching and the demand for its horn.” SOURCE -- EARTH’S ENDANGERED CREATURES