To Protect His Own (New York State Trooper Series Book 5)

by Jen Talty

  “His mother and I fought constantly about it,” Ethan said. “I cut it six months after she died. I felt very guilty, but he begged me to chop off those long locks.”

  “I have a few extra copies of that picture,” Kenzie said. “I’ll get you one.”

  “He won’t get too pissed?”

  Kenzie shook her head. “He’s developed a sense of humor about it over the years. At his twenty-third birthday party, I blew the picture up and we played pin the lock of hair on Jake. It was pretty funny.”

  “Thanks,” Stacey said.

  “How long have you known my son?” Ethan asked. He didn’t cough as much, but he did wheeze.

  “About four years now. He was my recruiting and training officer when I went through SCUBA school.”

  “I read he was the youngest Trooper to lead his own team.” Ethan had always followed Jake’s career, but knowing what someone did and understanding them were two different things, and then there was the guilt. Kenzie played her own part in that. Something she vowed moving forward she wouldn’t allow to happen again.

  “He was. Still is,” Stacey said. “Most people will say he’s the best they have ever worked with, but will also tell you he’s a real hard ass on the job, which he is.”

  “Sounds like someone else I know.” Kenzie often wondered if the two men ever saw how much alike they were. Not just in looks or mannerisms, but their personalities were similar.

  “Sometimes that’s the only way to get the job done,” Ethan said. “Jake seems to move around a lot. Why?”

  “I would only be guessing,” Stacey said. “He’s generally stationed out of Utica, but spends a fair amount of time in Albany, instructing. Lake George, training new SCUBA team members. And the Adirondacks in the winter on snowmobile patrol. He’s the first to volunteer for anything.”

  “He didn’t tell anyone I was his father, did he?”

  “I’m not used to getting the third degree,” Stacey said. “I’m usually the one giving it. But, no. Until recently, he was always the most private, hard to get know person I’ve ever met. Great to work with. Always has your back, but he’s not the ‘kick back and grab a beer after work’ kind of guy. Why I asked for ammunition.”

  “He talks of you fondly,” Kenzie said. “And often. Told me you were one of his favorite trainees because you didn’t take his crap.”

  “No, I didn’t,” Stacey said. “First time in the water, he decided he was going to be the one I had to rescue. He made it very real and I took his advice and did whatever it took to rescue the victim.”

  “What did you do?” Ethan asked, leaning forward in his chair, listening intently.

  “I punched him, stunning him, allowing me to get him in the rescue basket. He wasn’t too happy with me at first, but in the end, he respected my abilities. That’s all that mattered.”

  Kenzie laughed. “I had to put him in his place a time or two when he was manager of the farm.”

  “You and me.” Stacey pointed between herself and Kenzie. “We never quit, even when people tried to make us. I sense that about you.”

  “If anyone dared tell her she couldn’t or said no to her.” Ethan smiled. “It would just make her more determined.”

  “Jake said he was always harder on me because he knew I could be one of the best and while I’m sure he’s seen his fair share of talent; he never takes an interest unless he spots something. As far as being a Trooper, I wish I had half his instincts.” Stacey tilted her head. Her almond eyes conveyed kindness and caring. “I use to ask him all the time why he never had a girlfriend, or wasn’t interested in settling down. The last time I broached the subject, he told me he’d meet the right woman once, but she got away. I suspect he was talking about you.”

  Kenzie wasn’t sure how to respond and luckily she didn’t have to as she heard the front door rattle open. Jake stood in the foyer, dirt on his face and clothes, looking worn...and wet.

  “Where’s Doug?” Stacey asked.

  “At the cabin, taking measurements, getting your truck,” Jake said.

  “Of course he is.” Stacey shook her head and let out a small chuckle. “Man eats, sleeps, breaths, building things. Swear, he talks about it in his sleep.”

  “Said something about having an idea in his head and it would make him nuts if he didn’t mock something up,” Jake said.

  “That sounds about right.”

  Kenzie helped Stacey out of the sofa, surprised by how difficult it seemed for the very pregnant woman. Then Kenzie took long strides across the room until she stood in the foyer directly in front Jake, reaching out and taking his hand. “How bad is the barn?”

  “It could have been worse,” Jake said. “Damage was mostly in your office and the far end.”

  “Boots?”

  Jake ran a hand through his damp hair. “He was hurt pretty bad. Vet is with him. But the rest of our personal horses are fine.”

  Kenzie slipped her hands around Jake’s waist. “Does the Vet think Boots is going to be okay?”

  “We won’t know for a few hours. He was shot and the vet needs to remove the bullet.” He drew her close, hands running up and down her back in warm comforting strokes.

  “Why would someone shoot Boots?” Stacey asked, standing in front of the door, peering out the side window.

  “I suspect he charged whoever was in the barn after kicking open his stall door,” Jake said. “He’s not a typical horse and his behavior can be unpredictable.”

  “He’s done that before,” Kenzie said. “He’s not fond of too many people and if he gets nervous he kicks.” Kenzie looked over her shoulder. Ethan had his arm looped through Jeanie’s as he slowly made his way to the front door.

  Jake looked between her and his father. “Dad, you should sit down.”

  “I’m fine,” Ethan said. “You, on the other hand, look like shit.”

  “I’m sure I do.”

  “Anyone still at the barn?” Stacey asked.

  “A few firemen and Frank are still down there,” Jake said. “And don’t go getting any ideas that you’re going to check out the scene.”

  “Like Doug is going to let that happen.” Stacey pointed toward the door. “He just pulled in, so I better waddle myself out of here.”

  Kenzie decided when all this was over, Stacey was someone she wanted to know better. Her candor was refreshing. “Thanks for everything.”

  “Keep in touch.” Stacey maneuvered herself so she could give Kenzie a little hug. “Anytime you need something, just call. I’ll be there for you.”

  Jake gently closed the door behind Stacey. “Dad, maybe you should take a nap before dinner?”

  “I think that’s best,” Jeanie said.

  “I won’t be able to sleep,” Ethan said. “We need to call the insurance company.”

  Kenzie eyed Jake. He leaned against the door, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’ll take care of that,” he said.

  “What about Boots?” Kenzie asked.

  “Vet doesn’t want us there until after he’s taken the bullet out,” Jake said. “The fireman don’t want us near the barn until they’ve finished their investigation. Right now, there is nothing any of us can do but wait.” He kissed her forehead. “I need a fresh set of clothes. Why don’t you help my dad upstairs and I’ll be back in a half hour and we’ll check on things then.”

  Chapter 9

  “WE NEED TO TALK,” Kenzie said as soon as she and Ethan entered the master bedroom. Jake would be back soon and she knew, considering the day’s events, he was going to ask his father for the truth and she wanted to make sure Ethan was not only up for the task, but would follow through.

  “You sound serious.”

  “I am.” She waited for him to get comfortable in his bed while she sat in the chair next to it. Tears welled in her eyes. Just a week ago, one would never have known Ethan was dying. Now she worried this poisoning was going to take him before the cancer ever would have. “Jake is going to ask you to tell him the tr
uth about your affair, or lack thereof. I need you to tell him the truth.”

  “It’s not the right time.”

  “If you don’t tell him today, I will.”

  “I’m not ready,” Ethan said. “Besides, we can’t change the past.”

  “And we don’t have the right to rewrite it either.”

  “I’m not doing that.” Ethan coughed a few times before he took a slow slip of water.

  Abruptly, she stood and paced at the end of the bed. “The fact he knows you’re keeping something from him is hurting him.”

  “You’re showing.”

  She looked down at her hand over her small mound. “Don’t change the subject.”

  “I said I’d tell him.” Ethan’s voice was still weak, but she felt his resolve in the way the words hung in the air. “But it’s not something you just blurt out randomly.”

  “That’s ridiculous.” She glared at him. “And cowardly.”

  “Call it whatever you want. But this isn’t going to be easy for him to hear. I’d rather he despise me, then destroy what he remembers of his mother. She’s not here anymore and even she, when she wasn’t on a manic rampage, didn’t want him to know. It’s bad enough he found out she killed herself, but telling him that it was her who had the affair and that affair resulted in a child and—”

  “What the fuck?” Jake’s voice boomed, ricocheting off the walls. He stood at the doorway. His face white with shock. She took a few tentative steps toward him and laced her fingers around his bicep.

  “Don't touch me,” he growled. “What kind of lies are you spinning now, old man?”

  “They aren’t lies,” she said. “You wanted the truth. Now you have to accept it.”

  “Kenzie,” Ethan said. “Why don’t you give us a moment?”

  “No,” Jake said. “She stays. Start talking.” Jake leaned against the far wall, arms crossed at his chest.

  “I think I should leave.”

  “I need you to stay, okay?” Jake asked with a pleading tone.

  She nodded, glancing between the two men, wanting to bolt as fast as she could. This was not a conversation she wanted to be privy to, but Jake wasn’t going to let her go. She wasn’t sure if it was for moral support, or to bash her for keeping the truth from him, yet again. She leaned against the dresser, closer to the door.

  “I don’t know where to begin,” Ethan said. “I don’t know what you over heard.”

  “Start with when Mother supposedly had an affair. With who. And what child, because if you’re going to tell me I’m not your son—”

  “You're my son.”

  “Your father meant the baby your mother lost,” Kenzie interjected, wanting this conversation to go quickly.

  “Kenzie, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I need to hear this from my father,” Jake said.

  “When you were four,” his father started. “Your mother told me she was pregnant. The only problem with that was I had had a vasectomy and didn’t tell her, so I knew the baby couldn’t be mine.”

  “Why on earth wouldn’t you tell her? Not having any more children is a big deal.”

  Ethan sat up straighter. “Delilah had four miscarriages after you were born. Each one chipped away at her. I couldn’t put her through that again for a lot of reasons.”

  Kenzie felt a pang of guilt for pushing Ethan so hard. He hadn’t told her about Delilah’s miscarriages.

  “Who did she have the affair with?” Jake barked.

  “I don’t know,” Ethan said.

  “So, this is the baby that died at birth?” Jake asked. “When I was almost five?”

  Ethan leaned back on the pillows and closed his eyes. “Yes.”

  “I might have been young, but I remember how devastated she was. She cried all the time.”

  “Since you were about one, she’d been in a mostly depressive state. Losing so many pregnancies took its toll,” Ethan said. “It was hard for me to watch. Nothing I did eased her pain. The only time she seemed to be happy was with you. I encouraged that bond because I thought it was best for both of you, but she never got past not being able to have more children.”

  “I can understand that,” Jake said. “But why lie to me as an adult?”

  “I didn’t want to hurt you, something that you’ll understand now that you’re about to be a father.”

  “I can understand you wanting to protect my memories of my mother,” Jake said. “But there comes a point where its counter-productive. I needed a father too.”

  “I did what I thought was best. In hind-sight, it was wrong.”

  “Now that’s it’s all out,” Kenzie said. “Can we put it in the past and move forward?” She knew it wasn’t that simple, but Jake had finally gotten the truth and now it was time to heal.

  “He’s not done, yet,” Jake said. “He’s still hiding something.”

  She glanced to Ethan, who still leaned back, forearm over his eyes. “What more could there be?”

  “Come on, Dad. We’ve come this far. Whatever it is, I’m begging you to tell me.”

  Ethan dropped his hand. He glanced between Kenzie and Jake before turning his head, staring out over the picture window. “The baby didn’t die at birth. We gave him up for adoption.”

  “What!?” Kenzie’s heart raced. “That baby is alive? Somewhere there is another heir to this farm?” The web of lies in the name of protecting his own was going to destroy them all.

  “I don’t have another child,” Ethan said. “Delilah had another son.”

  “Jesus, Ethan. You do understand what that means, don’t you?” Kenzie’s stomach twisted and turned. “How many more secrets do you have?”

  “That’s it.”

  “Hell of a time to drop that bomb considering everything that has happened this week,” Kenzie said, bile exploding in the back of her throat. “You of all people should know what a sibling, even a half-sibling does to the stability of this farm.”

  “There is no way that child could be responsible for this,” Ethan said. “Only five people knew he was connected to this farm. Me. Delilah. Her father. Her doctor, and the lawyer who set up the adoption. It was all private.”

  “If more than one person knows, it’s not private,” Jake said. “A lot of people who could have told just one person and you’ve got a chain of events that lead right to you being poisoned.” Jake’s tone was eerily calm, and completely nerve-wracking.

  “I can’t even look at you right now.” She gripped the door handle when Jake slipped his fingers around her wrist. “Let me go.”

  He raised his hand. “Don’t leave the house.”

  “I won’t.” No point in being stupid, but she needed to get away from Ethan before she said something she’d really regret.

  * * *

  Jake refilled his father’s water bottle. The long silence gave Jake a chance to collect his thoughts. There was no room for emotions, which he hadn’t been able to categorize anyway. He needed information or he’d never be able to protect his father, Kenzie, and her unborn child. Jake sat in the chair next to the bed, putting his feet up. “You really don’t know who she had the affair with?”

  “So you believe me?”

  Jake laughed. “I do.”

  “Your mother wanted to keep the baby.”

  “Seriously?” Jake tried to open his mind to his father’s version of the truth and the idea that his mother was a completely different person than he’d remembered.

  “Please understand I’ve never wanted to taint your love for her. She was a good mother.”

  “I don’t want justifications,” Jake said. “I want answers.”

  His father nodded. “Delilah was bi-polar. She took her meds regularly until she became pregnant with you. Then she wanted more children, which meant she couldn’t take the meds, putting her in manic or depressive states. All the miscarriages didn’t help. When Granny died, it was too much. She started behaving differently. Staying out late. Drinking. I didn’t know what to do, t
hen she told me she was pregnant.”

  “And you have no idea who the father was?”

  “I’ve had suspicions, but no. And I didn’t want to know. I told her I wouldn’t raise another man’s baby, but I would stay with her.”

  “For the farm. You wanted the farm.” It always came down to the stupid farm and land. It mattered more than people. It destroyed his parents and it destroyed him and Kenzie.

  “No,” Ethan said. His voice gaining strength. “I stayed because I loved her. And you, more than anything. You had such a special bond with her. I wouldn’t take that from her, or you.”

  “But you could go ten years without talking to me,” Jake muttered. A sharp pain tore through his temples, which made him wince. Doctor called them icepick headaches. A form of migraines often caused by stressful situations. They were short bursts of pain that lasted on a few seconds. But they were excruciating when they came in quick clusters.

  “We’re both responsible for that,” Ethan said. “When your mother died you were heart broken. I couldn’t console you. No one could. I wanted to make her memory something you’d cherish. It seemed easier to let you hate me then destroy something that seemed so positive in your life. As you got older, I wondered if I should tell you the truth about how your mom died, but before I could, you found out on your own.”

  Jake wished none of this made any sense, but looking back on his childhood, it all fit. “Grandpa knew all this and was okay with it?”

  “I started working on the farm when I was seventeen. Grandpa took a liking to me. Much like I took a shine to Kenzie. I saw in her what he saw in me. He accepted that Delilah didn’t have it in her to run the farm and set out to find her a man that did.”

  “Wait a minute.” For the first time since Kenzie left the room, Jake looked at his father. “An arranged marriage?”

  His father laughed, which quickly turned into a coughing fit. Jake jumped to his feet, snagging the water bottle off the nightstand. He sat on the edge of the bed, patting the old man’s back until he calmed down. “We can take a break.”

  “No,” his father croaked out. “It feels good to finally let this out.”